Original air date: November 8, 2012
This episode isn't bad but there is a lot of bullshit to get through so let's just get right to it because I have things I need to get off my chest. The obvious issue for me is no New York scenes but on top of that the episode starts with Finn.
We open on him working at Burt's tire shop which is seen as a failure by this show. I've gone on this rant before but I hate how this show frames work like this. Mechanics are important, they work hard, and they make decent money. There is nothing to be ashamed of and it seemed like Finn had an interest in working there before everyone started telling him he should strive for more. That's not the thing I'm most upset about. I'm most annoyed by the show acting like we should feel bad for Finn because Rachel dumped his ass. He deserved it 100% and I do not feel sorry that he's feeling sorry for himself. I don't think he should feel ashamed for working in a tire shop but he should absolutely feel ashamed for abandoning his girlfriend on what she thought was her wedding day and then ghosting her for four months while expecting her to sit around and stay loyal to her. And while she could have told herself he was ghosting her because he was off doing army duty (BS most army men stay in touch with loved ones and it sounded like he was talking to everyone but Rachel so that sucks doubly) he was not even in the army and was actually just back packing around Georgia. He's a tool. Artie comes to visit him because of course Artie would sympathize with being a jerk. He's there to push Finn into helping him direct Grease. Finn is against this idea but Artie says he'll refuse to do the musical if Finn doesn't. I'd be like, ok fine but this seems to work on Finn.
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| Finn isn't very bright and is very easily manipulated. |
Oh hey, it's man pain the episode right now because we move from one jerk face who deserved to get dumped to another and the show expects us to feel bad for him too but it's Blaine Warbler and I don't care. Sam encourages him to sign up for the school musical but Blaine is just too sad to audition because Kurt won't even talk to him and he's his soulmate. Huh, guess you shouldn't have cheated on him then. Look not all cheating is equal and all of that but the way this cheating was presented? Blaine is an ass. He was in a committed relationship, encouraged his partner to go off to New York, then got sad that he was alone, blamed Kurt for this, and hooked up with some rando, AND THEN had the gall to blame it on Kurt being absent. No, not cool. This isn't confused feelings, that was malicious I'm punishing you for moving away from me even though I told you to behaviour. This fucking guy. He does talk about how they were going to buy a lighthouse so I guess that explains why he was so turned on by Eli C. then. We then follow him as he sings Hopelessly Devoted to You and just...no. A world of no. How insulting that he's singing about his heart being broken when he's the asshat who went out and anger fucked someone because he was sulky that his boyfriend moved away. Also, this was the song that made me stan Kristin Chenoweth so this pales in comparison.
We end his rendition as an audition for Grease even though he said he didn't want to. Finn looks uncomfortable because Blaine is the guy that cheated on his step brother but apparently that's not the reason but we'll get to that. This scene is so lame because Artie gushes about Blaine being the perfect Danny but Blaine turns it down because he just can't possibly play the lead when he tanked his own romance. I find it lame because of course he can't just not be the lead, he has to turn it down and gag me. Blaine requests that maybe he could be Teen Angel, possibly and I really could care less about his tears. Get bent. Finn leaves not because he hated watching Blaine whine about hurting Kurt but because he doesn't think he's cut out to be a director. Artie tries to talk him down and then says he called in back up and revealed that Mike and Mercedes are back to help out too. This seems to cheer Finn up considerably.
Will and Emma are discussing their issues to what you think is a marriage counsellor but surprise, it's actually Shannon. While I'm all yay, Shannon is finally back! I'm also like, man you guys should be talking to an actual counsellor and not put your friend in the middle of your argument. Shannon does seem to be in to helping them out though and she says that feelings aren't right or wrong but just are. Which is pretty solid advice but I feel like Emma's feelings in this matter are 100% justified while Will's feelings are stupid but I'm biased. Anyway, Shannon's advice is to essentially take a time out (a breather of sorts) and really think about the other person's perspective. I'm guessing this because she speaks in sports metaphors that confuse me and Emma. Will thinks he gets it and realizes that he made a mistake with how he approached this. He only thinks his mistake was not asking her by saying she's his equal partner first, as if that unlocks the magic ability to get her to do what he wants. Shannon looks on hopefully as Emma looks like she wants to die inside but agrees to go with him. So, fairness to Will he does say that he wants to be with her always and that this time it's Washington and next time they'll go wherever she wants to go. This is still pretty dumb because what if Emma doesn't want to go anywhere? What if she's perfectly happy here and now she's done this thing for him that he can never truly pay back? Shannon sees that Emma does not look as happy as Will but we cut away from this scene.
Artie is worried about who they could cast as Danny Zuko if Blaine can't do it (gag me). You can't tell me there are no other theatre kids that would kill to play Danny Zuko. Grease is like the musical most students know and there are always a bunch of theatre kids willing to try out. Apparently Jake won't do it, Sam wants to play Kinnicke because he loves the song Grease Lightning and has experience getting knocked out by car doors, and even though he was the winner of the Glee Project, no one cares about Joe. Ok, the excuse is he won't cut his dreads but it's so funny to me that he won this whole thing and they seem to refuse to give him air time. So much so that they needed to bring in a whole new character. What's that? There are too many characters already? Well, we'll just add MORE characters! More characters fixes everything. Artie thinks that not everyone is like Finn and that's why Will went looking for him. Man, sucks to be him and Kurt, two very capable male singers in the glee club. They weren't good enough, I guess so they needed Finn to come in with his mediocre singing and poor dance skills.
Anyway, this gives Finn an idea. He goes out to the football field because everyone knows all the good singers are actually on the football field. Look, people can be multi talented and I have no problem with kids trying completely different hobbies out, I just think it's funny that they think the only way they can get good male leads is to go here. There aren't any guys around the school who just like to sing or act? Why not stake out the drama program? Is there no drama classes in the US? Anyway, Shannon also fawns over Finn saying that he's one of a kind. I'm Finn though because I don't understand why everyone sees him this way. Finn asks her if she has anyone on the team that she thinks has the potential to be like him. He notices one kid score a touchdown and then immediately dance like a complete dork. We are told this is Ryder Lynn and oof. Oh god, I've got to get into some terrible show history for you guys. So, when he's introduced, he's a likable enough character. There was a lot I liked about him, even if he is being positioned as the "New!Finn" to round out our cast of same but new characters. However, I need to address some serious issues with the actor who plays him.
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| Don't be fooled by his goofiness, he's a douche "allegedly" |
Around this time Blake Jenner (Ryder), started dating Melissa Benoist (Marley Rose) and at first glance you'd think that was kind of cute. You could kind of see some chemistry between them where there wasn't quite as much between her and Jake (Though I think there could have been if they hadn't written Jake to be such a douche). However, this budding romance soon turned quite sour. Melissa has since accused Blake of being physically and mentally abusive. Her account of what she went through with him is absolutely harrowing and gut-wrenching. He pressured her into talking to Ryan Murphy about changing the story so that she and Ryder end up together instead of the original idea with her and Jake and basically made it so that she couldn't be with other guy characters. Ryan was pissed and you know what, I'll give him a pass on this one. That is some seriously unprofessional behaviour and I get how that would be really annoying to have to deal with and I don't think anyone suspected anything bad going on, they just saw two young googly eyed people being silly and unprofessional. But he was horrendously abusive to her behind closed doors. The account is so bad that honestly, this kid turns my stomach now. I'm not happy to see him and I'm not excited about the fact that he's here for two seasons but we're gonna have to make due. This show man, cursed with shitty people. If you are interested, here is her account that she shared on Instagram but CW for domestic violence. I'm sorry I brought this up but I feel like it needs to be known and I felt I had to address it. Too often people who appear nice, outgoing, friendly, and likable on the outside, are the ones who end up being abusive. I want more people to understand this, they aren't abusive right off the hop, they're infectious and loving and make you feel special first to draw you in. Please be careful and take care of yourselves. It is never too late to leave and it is never too late to get help. With that out of the way, Finn is obviously thinking that this will be his successor on Glee and wants to convince him to sign up for the musical.
Marley is in the bathroom when Unique comes in. I was taken aback when she said that this was the girls rooms but then I remembered that this show still wants us to think that she is a boy. She is not and it is very apparent with their next discussion, the musical. Marley wants to play Sandy so bad but Unique has her heart set on Rizzo. She feels she can't audition for that part though because everyone sees her as a boy in drag or a gimmick for performances but she states very clearly that she would feel as out of place playing Danny Zuko as Marley would be. This is such a telling line and it's like...the writers almost get it but then they go right back to calling her a boy and I just don't understand. For a gay man, Ryan Murphy has a very heteronormative view of the world. It's kind of weird. To Marley's credit, she turns into a supportive friend by encouraging her to try out for Rizzo anyway. Sue is in the bathroom too and I have to say...it's weird that she's constantly using the student's bathroom. I never once saw a teacher in the bathrooms at my schools. I think they had their own staff bathroom they used and for probably very good reasons. Sue mocks Unique and tells her she will never be a woman which I really never saw the humour of this but also it's aged so poorly that I'm honestly disgusted by this. Trans women are women and trans men are men. Non binary people are valid because they are. This so-called debate happening now is so devaluing and dehumanizing. Support your fellow person because we are all just trying to make it in this world and find our happiness. Sue tries to insult Marley too but she fails to come up with something and this just makes me roll my eyes. I think I could find the humour in Sue finally being unable to insult someone but it just comes across creepy and also a bit "Poochie-esque". Marley as a character is so strange to me because she's written very much like a Mary Sue. I know that term gets bandied about far too often and I want to say that not all fan-fiction is terrible and not all instances of self-insert characters are necessarily bad. I just think it's funny that Marley is written like a poorly written Mary Sue despite (I don't think) actually being a self insert for the writers because this show is mostly written about men. She's just this bland perfectly perfect character who's only flaw is that she's poor so don't you feel sorry for her? And she's so nice and so pretty that even Sue can't make fun of her! It's just really dumb and I don't think carried the intended effect they were going for here.
Sue continues her, frankly, extremely TERF-y and bigoted comments and tells Unique she can't audition for the musical. Marley links arms with Unique and tells Sue that they are auditioning and they launch into Pink's Blow Me One Last Kiss which is honestly pretty fucking good. I really like these two singing together, they sound amazing. I think it's the most I've liked a Marley performance so far. Artie, Finn, Mercedes, and Mike are all very impressed. Artie asks them if they have any roles in mind that they want to play. Marley says Sandy all the way and then they ask Unique but Artie calls her Wade because he sucks. Unique tells them she wants to play Rizzo which sounds so fucking normal to me but the music goes all quiet and everyone stares like she just said she wanted to murder someone. It's very weird. I know that they're going to end up letting her play Rizzo but it's just weird to me that they're treating this with so much serious weight. The club that wanted to put on Rocky Horror is suddenly shocked that Unique wants to play a woman. Like...huh? Barring the show's confusion regarding Unique's identity, even if she just enjoyed cross dressing and did identify as male I still wouldn't find this weird because her stage persona is that of a girl. Why would they be shocked that she'd want to play a girl's role when that's literally what she loves doing in their glee performances too? This is also dumb.
Finn goes to study hall and tells the teacher he's got a phone call in the teacher's lounge. Finn then takes the opportunity to walk up to Ryder and talk to him. Ryder says he's actually studying in study hall because he's a C average student and he needs to get his grades up to a B or his parents will make him quit football. Finn tells him he also played and was a C student but he got his grades up to a B+ in his final year because of glee. Ryder doesn't want to join glee club though but it's not because he thinks it's dumb. He thinks it would be fun but doesn't have the time to put into an extra club. Honestly, this sounds perfectly fair if he's struggling to juggle school and football. You see what I mean by the character is perfectly ok? I just hate the guy who plays him. Finn encourages him to try out for the musical as it's a shorter commitment (LOL!) and it will definitely be a gateway into joining glee club because he'll love it so much. He then basically commands this kid to do the audition at 4pm.
Ryder is then seen later having just gotten another C- even with all of his studying. He's disappointed and complains that all he does is study and hasn't seen the new Batman movie yet. The teacher's only response is to say that Dark Knight Rises was so good and that Bane was evil. The teachers at this school suck. I'm happy that most teachers in real life would not be this shit. You may think they don't want to help but so many teachers do and are dedicated to helping their students do better. This kid is struggling and studying and everyone's just like meh. You see what I mean when I say that his character is sympathetic? His was the first new character introduced where his motivations and struggles are relatable and make you root for him. It's a shame his actor benefited so much from it and turned out to be such a gigantic monster. I hope that he's gotten better and changed but I feel like that's probably unlikely. Fuck Blake Jenner.
We cut to Artie and Finn in the auditorium. Artie wants a decision from Finn about which jukebox they should use. The fact that they're able to have all three in the auditorium to make their decision is unrealistic but it's to set up the next song so I'll allow it. Finn wants to go with the one from Happy Days but Artie thinks that's too obvious and goes for a different one that they'll have to change the songs on because it's full of 80s rock hits. I wonder why.... Artie leaves which is when Ryder shows up to try out the whole audition thing...as long as he doesn't have to sing. Babe. Sweetie. Do you understand that you're auditioning for a musical? Finn says he was just like Ryder and thought he couldn't do it but then he just did it and it all came out of him like a really good poop. Those are his exact words and while gross, it's a pretty astute analogy. Props to Finn. He says that he bets Ryder is a classic rock guy so it's a good thing Artie brought in that 80s rock filled juke box for them and guess what Finn starts singing? Juke Box Hero by Foreigner. I low key love this song because it's such an uplifting fun song to belt out. Ryder soon joins in and look at that, he can sing. Ryder is completely taken by the stage and asks when he auditions but Finn says he just did. Ryder is super stoked. Hope the other directors didn't want a say.
Ryder goes up to introduce himself to Marley who already seems to know him and is all flustered. She thinks his endzone dances are awesome and he knows her because her mom sneaks him extra meatballs on spaghetti day. They seem to be hitting it off and Ryder seems to already know that Marley is Sandy and he's probably going to be Danny and wanted to introduce himself. Jake is watching from afar all butt hurt but I kind of want to just be like...you did this. Because he did. Like, he asks Marley out but then is surprise dating Kitty. Then he dumps Kitty seemingly for Marley and when she tries to ask him to hang, he bails on her. I have no sympathy for him being all jealous now because he sent Marley very mixed and weird signals that honestly would tell a lot of people that he doesn't like them. Kitty also notices Jake glaring and calls him out on being jealous. She thinks Ryder is hot with old-school Bieber hair. Yuck. Jake says that Marley isn't his girlfriend and asks who'd want Justin Bieber hair anyway? Kitty snaps back "half-black guys who can't grow it" which is a bucket of yikes. She apologizes but also says he had it coming for dumping her. She also told everyone she dumped him because of his gross third nipple and then walks off to talk to Ryder. She insults Marley to prove how mean she is since even Sue can't do it. Ryder calls her out for being a bitch but Kitty says that Marley tried to steal her ex and calls her a kiss ass. She says she's trying out for Sandy too and then asks Ryder to call her as she walks off. I don't think he's interested, Sweetie. As she's signing up to audition, Jake comes up and asks her to sign him up too. She calls him out for wanting to keep an eye on Marley and Ryder and then says she has the perfect audition song for them.
We cut to them auditioning and their song is a fucking bop too. Any time this show does songs like this, I'm a happy Melodie. They're singing Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. They rock it and the judges are impressed.
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| These two are actually kind of cute together. Can you imagine if there were better writers developing their relationship instead of just mashing them together like they're Barbies? |
The judges all talk about who to cast. Artie thinks Sandy can't be brunette and Mercedes snaps at him about how Maria couldn't be black either and Artie snarks that she should let that go. Nah, she has a point. What happened to being too obvious, Artie? Juke Boxes can be different (and more boring models) but the actress has to be the same? My school did Grease. Sandy was brunette and Rizzo was blonde. It was fine. Finn suggests they call back the Sandy's and Danny's. They talk about the other parts and how Tina won't audition because she won't be in the same room with Mike. Finn wants Unique for Rizzo. They all misgender her but they're making some slow progress. Sue storms in and commands Finn to Figgins' office.
Sue complains to Figgins that Finn and Artie want to cast Unique as Rizzo. Figgins doesn't see the issue because he's based and recognizes Unique as the girl she is. Will however says that Sue is right and that she's a boy. However the joke is that Figgins is attracted to a teenager but only because he thinks she's a girl and is horrified to find out she's not. Putting aside this Ace Ventura level outdated joke about the girl actually being a guy and ewies that's gross, it's also a grown man being attracted to a teenager which adds a whole new level of ick to the already ick joke so, thanks Glee. I hate it. Finn then steps up to be the real based one and says that if Unique identifies as a girl, why can't she play one? They also point out that gender bending casting has been around for centuries, like with Shakespeare where most female parts were played by males. Sue isn't having it though and is affronted at being labelled the bigot she is because she had gay Cheerios and resigned as principal because the school wasn't doing enough to protect a gay student from being bullied. Newsflash! Just because you're ok in one area doesn't mean you can't be bigoted in other areas. Sue then changes track to say that she is just looking out for Unique and doesn't want her to get bullied. You mean...like you were doing in the bathroom before where you called her a tranny basically? You mean that? It's so funny when they have Sue being against bullying when being a bully is her entire character. Will takes zero responsibility for any of it and says that Finn and Artie are completely in charge of the musical, thanks Will. You're useless as always. Finn then loses any good graces he got from defending Unique by calling Sue's baby an r-word. Look, hate Sue all you want but even if her child was not neurodivergent, leave the baby alone, Finn. Do not mock people's children because you hate them. They have nothing to do with it. Finn immediately apologizes because he realizes right away that it was wrong but like, that was still your go-to, Finn. Sue storms out, like she has any moral high ground here. Basically, everyone in this room sucks in some way. They are all terrible.
Emma is freaking out about the amount of germs involved with moving to a new place, complaining about carpets in all the new apartments. Shannon suggests she hires carpet cleaners but Emma thinks if they don't dry properly they can create Kawasaki Syndrome. A quick Google search tells me it's a thing that mostly affects children though. Shannon cuts through Emma's bs and calls her out on not wanting to go to Washington. Emma says she just has reservations but Shannon says that she should be just as on board with going as Will is for this to work. Shannon says that Emma is too focused on being Will's girl that she's lost sight of who she is and why Will liked her in the first place. I'd say she's so afraid of becoming Terri that she's not taking care of her needs and putting everything into Will's happiness instead of her own but essentially Shannon and I are on the same page.
Mike approaches Tina and tries to get her to be in the musical but Tina is too pissed. She thought she was fine with their break up but seeing him again without warning has been hard on her. He should have called and asked if she could handle it. Mike apologizes and says he didn't think she'd be upset. He really wants to work things out so she can be in the musical because she's so talented but Tina says they'll have to survive without her talent.
It's callback time and Marley, Ryder, Jake, and Kitty are waiting to hear what they have to do. They are instructed to sing Born to Hand Jive from Grease's dance scene. As they perform it, Jake tries to dance with Marley but Ryder gets in between and then Kitty tries to attack Marley so Jake twirls her away. It looks like a mess but somehow the judges will make their decisions based on this. I mean, I guess Ryder and Marley stuck it out longest since Jake had to pull Kitty away.
Finn goes to talk to Unique who heard about Sue's meltdown and is expecting Finn to tell her she can't be Rizzo. Finn says he wants to offer her the part though and Unique gets very excited because she has the right wig and knows the song. She then gets sad and Finn asks what's up. She admits that she doesn't feel right in the men's locker but can't go into the girl's. She also doesn't feel right in men's clothes but knows she can't get away with wearing dresses every day. Seems like she was doing fine before but stuff like this is what I've been talking about with Unique. She's very clearly trans and very clearly a girl. The show clearly understands this but then they turn around and call her a cross dresser. That's not what being trans is. It's not for show, it's not to play a part, it's who they are. Finn seems not comfortable dealing with Unique's very real emotions and just acknowledges that it's nice for her to find a place where she belongs. He tells her to be prepared because he can shield her from some of the heat but not all of it. It's so stupid because if no one was told, no one would notice because she presents very clearly as a girl. This is how dumb the argument is. You tell me that if you saw her perform, knowing nothing about her, you would not just assume she's a woman.
Finn posts the cast list. We find out Brittany is Ch-Cha, Tina is Jan, Marley is Sandy, Ryder is Danny, Sam is Kinnicky Kitty walks up confidently only to find out she's been cast as Patty Simcox. She asks who the hell that even is and um, the name does sound familiar, I think she's the girl that Danny dances with at that sock hop that he had history with and Sandy got jealous? Am I remembering this right? Kitty doesn't understand how she could have possibly lost the lead because she prayed really hard for it. Joe suggests that God was busy helping people with cancer and she calls him Avatar and tells him to shut it. She then blames Jake for screwing up Hand Jive. Jake thinks they were great but it just didn't work out. Kitty then insults Marley and works on bullying her into an eating disorder. Sue tells Kitty she has to feed her off-screen baby, oblivious to the tantrum but then Sue looks like she's about to throw a tantrum of her own when she sees that Unique has been cast as Rizzo.
We cut to Will arriving home to Emma in a manic cooking spree. He first thinks there's an anniversary he forgot but then worries that her parents are over but she says no to both and with her freaking out about trying recipes that she got from her marriage to Uncle Jesse, Will finally realizes that something is wrong. Emma says again that she doesn't want to go to Washington with him and I feel like she's said this multiple times and it frustrates me that he drove her to this point before he would listen to the words coming out of her mouth. She was very clear multiple times and he just didn't want to accept her truth so he drove her to this state of manic frenzy and worry over hurting HIS feelings and only now did he see the problem. Will kind of sucks. Why didn't he care about how she felt, it was all about him and wanting her to be there to support HIS dreams. Will has become Terri. I'm glad he finally saw he was wrong, there are definitely some men who would not back down at this point and would shame her for making him feel bad or weaponizing her sadness to get him to...not go to Washington or some junk. So, at least Will did finally see what a dick he was being. They talk about what they each want in a partner. Emma says she would rather be far apart from him but feel close than be close to him and feel far away and he finally gets it. She's never been the problem here. She's always been more than supportive of him going to Washington and doing this whole thing. He just threw a hissy fit because she wouldn't sit in a hotel room for him and that is fucking selfish so I'm still mad at Will. Sorry not sorry.
Will finds Finn in the auditorium and they chat about the musical and how much Finn is enjoying helping the kids' dreams come true. Will says that's his favourite part about teaching and that he's going to miss it. Finn is confused so Will explains his big plan to go to Washington and save the arts. Finn is not happy because Will can't abandon the glee club, they need him. Will thinks that they need someone who will help them win but also understands that winning isn't more important than doing the right thing. Will wants Finn to take over the glee club but Finn is nervous because he's not an adult. Will cleared it with Mr. Figgins though so everything is good. I don't know if this would be accepted in real life but I get why they wanted to do this in show. They needed Finn around more and Will is a bit of a dead character at this point. I'm not going to nitpick this too much even though, I hope they'd get a background check done just to be safe. What I am going to do is be completely immature for a moment and post you Will's major selling point on becoming a glee club coach:
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| This man has a few questions for you, Will |
Good night everybody! Next episode is Glease.
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