Glee - 403 - Makeover

 Original air date: September 27, 2012

We're still on the ok streak here. That's a plus for me because these episodes are actually feeling a bit fun which I wasn't expecting. Again, still not gripped by the Lima stuff but at least this week it's centered on characters we care about. So, what happened this week on Glee? Well, the theme this week is...

Should be fun

Of course, now that I've said the Lima parts focus on the characters we care about, we start the episode with Blaine Warbler. He's ready to start his new year off right and signs up for all of the clubs, which in fairness to his supposed status as the New!Rachel is a totally Rachel move. He does all the signing up while he sings Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears. He also tells us that he's signing up to all these clubs to fill the void that Kurt moving to New York has left in his life. Brittany catches him signing up to be class president, running against her and is not pleased.

Kurt meanwhile, is struggling to find the perfect outfit to interview for an internship at Vogue.com. Kurt tells us he's meeting with Isabelle Wright who is a major fashion icon. She double majored in fashion and dead romance languages, he heard she gave Steve Jobs his first black turtleneck, and one time, she punched someone in the face and it was awesome. Ok, not that last part but it was feeling very Mean Girls. Kurt finally enters her office and surprise! It's Sarah Jessica Parker here to dazzle us with her very Carrie Bradshaw-esque character. She's bubbly and bright and introduces her as Columbus because she's from Columbus Ohio and is excited that Kurt is from Lima. She feels a kinship with him right away. Isabelle is impressed with his online resume which includes his Instagram of all his bold fashion choices. Kurt explains where he got inspo for them and even mentions one that was inspired by her collection. Isabelle is sad because that collection failed but Kurt says it's like she says, "don't trust anyone in fashion who hasn't failed big at least once." Isabelle seems pleased with this and asks him to sit down. She asks some routine questions and ends up asking where Kurt sees his dream life in 5 years. Kurt says that he'll work part time here, graduate from NYADA, and star in his first Broadway show. He's worried he sounds presumptuous but Isabelle is all for it because New York is for dreamers. She then says that she was hired by Anna because of her web design for her fashion collections and she can't let her down so Kurt can't either. Kurt is stunned but she confirms that he's hired because she wants anyone who can pull off a hippo brooch. I really like this story for Kurt because his clothes were always really eye grabbing so having him move to fashion would be really cool and suit his character. But this is Glee so...

Artie is approached by Brittany who wants him to be her VP. Artie isn't worried about getting into college though since his SAT score and grade point average are great and he's got scholarships he can apply to because of disability. Brittany says she promises to do the exact same thing as last year, which is nothing, which means that Artie would be able to make all the decisions for her. Artie thinks this is cool because he could be the Cheney to her Bush but Brittany clarifies that she'd rather have a landing strip. Badum-tish! Artie also thinks this will help him get a girlfriend that lasts longer than a couple of weeks. He asks Brittany not to take this personally and she's super confused because she doesn't even remember they dated. LOL! I love Britt. 

Will is talking to the glee club and telling them that they are hosting the show choir rules committee this year since they won Nationals. The kids don't care about this adult stuff and want to start preparing for this year's performances. Will says he's working on lots of ideas, so many ideas, great ideas, the best ideas! Actually no, he tells us in voice over that he's tapped out and can't think of any cool performances for them to do. Brittany takes Will's stammering over how many ideas he's working on as an opportunity to announce Artie as her running mate, thus bridging the human/robot vote. Blaine thinks this is unfair because it should be about ideas but we already had this story with Kurt vs Brittany and he's way less interesting and already has a ton of clubs so I'm not rooting for him. He's going to win anyways because it's Blaine so I just don't care. 

Will is working on his song choices when Sue walks in and he tells her the ideas he has. She tells him they're terrible and he confesses that he knows and that he doesn't understand what's wrong with him but he's got nothing. Sue tells him he never had any good ideas but he never noticed because he was chasing his dream of a National championship and now that he's done it, he's realizing how tedious being a school teacher is. She then goes on to insult the very profession and calls her colleagues losers and I say Sue can fucking stuff it. Being a school teacher is hard fucking work and most teachers take pride in what they do and how they teach our children. It is not a failed career, it IS a career and one that should get a fuck ton more respect than it gets. Tell me if you would be able to manage a classroom full of 20-30 children, and have them all on task and doing their work at once? I couldn't do it. I can barely manage my own children let alone teach them important subjects in a way that they would understand. Sure, by high school you should have less managing to do but you still need to create an engaging syllabus, that is if you care about teaching. I hate this, this is the worst message this show promotes. That teaching is some side gig people fall into because they can't find a real job. Fuck that. Teaching is important. 

Sam asks Brittany why she didn't ask him to be her running mate because he thought they would be a great pair. Brittany didn't want it to ruin their friendship though because it can be stressful. She tells him he would be a great vice president though and offers to help him out. She goes over to Blaine Warbler again and offers for Sam to be his running mate. I've never understood this logic because how would working together ruin a friendship but running against each other not? Moving past that, Blaine isn't interested at first but Sam makes a case for himself that he understands the poorer vote and the straight vote plus his impressions are awesome. Definitely can't argue with that. Blaine accepts Sam as his running mate. Brittany is happy and immediately challenges them to a debate. Sam doesn't know what a debate is and I groan a bit because Sam is maybe a little doofy but he's not supposed to be dumb. This was a Brittany moment. You're telling me the girl who was failing and shown to hand in her assignments written in crayon knows what a debate is but Sam doesn't?

Remember when I said that I liked the fashion idea for Kurt and it suited his character much better than performance? Get ready for Glee to already deflate the whole idea in 3...2...1. Isabelle is running a pitch meeting and she's trying to get her team to pitch her leather but in unusual ways. She gets a pitch that is boring and then a pitch for leather underwear which sounds awful but Isabelle thinks is sick in the good way. Kurt makes a face and Isabelle gets a worried look. She tells everyone to take five and think about the leather thing some more. She asks Kurt if she can talk to him and she asks him for his opinion on the ideas. Kurt tries to be nice but she gives him a look and he admits they're terrible. Isabelle then vents to Kurt, to her intern, about how she's in over her head and she can't say no to people and she's just too gosh darn nice and doesn't know what she's doing. I know she's not outright saying it but she's essentially begging Kurt for help and I hate it. I didn't want her to be a Devil Wears Prada style villain but my god, this just feels way too unrealistic. Kurt has lucked into this job and now suddenly he's her one and only confidant? I don't buy it. I'm bored with it. The stakes are low for him. I mean, I guess the idea is he's joined this prestigious web site team for fashion but his boss is on the verge of failure so he has to save it but that's just lame. Woof, way to kill my interest in this storyline. At least Rachel is having to work for something. It's minor sure but it's something she's not good at and needing to improve. Isabelle is coming across as dependent on Kurt and his superior fashion sense for guidance and I'm sorry but I find that extremely boring and flat as a story for Kurt. He's not going to grow from this.

It is fun seeing her here though

Artie tells Brittany that they're poll numbers are not looking great and that people are only coming to the debate to hear her say something stupid. He then clarifies that she's not stupid, she's creative. We move over to Blaine who is nervous that having Sam as a running mate will look like a desperate grab for the straight vote. He asks him to meet him in the costume shop. Artie quizzes Brittany on some potential questions but when she answers them poorly, he suggests they focus on wardrobe. Cue Brittany singing Celebrity Skin by Hole. It's not great, I was on the verge of writing the whole performance off because Brittany doesn't really have the grit to pull off this song. Then Sam started singing and whoa. Big improvement. He was rocking it. We get a montage of them getting new looks while they sing the song. 

Will is running his meeting and we get a return of the deaf show choir leader from season 1 who still tells us he has no hearing in his left ear - scarlet fever. Fun times. Will asks another lady for input but as soon as she starts talking, he tunes her out and monologues about how bored he is. The deaf show choir head also pipes in for real that the meeting is pointless but it's because his show choir lost its funding. Everyone is sympathetic but he says they're all next because funding for the arts has dried up. He tells Will that as a National championship winner, he should use his clout to help argue for funding for the arts. Oh yeah, Will as politician is coming. This should be not fun. Wait, didn't Burt already win something for this specific reason? He had to go to Washington. Did they forget that Burt is a politician now and was aiming to protect the arts in schools?? I didn't just hit my head right? Why are we reliving this storyline but with Will???

Rachel is relaying her day to Kurt and says that two mean dance girls made fun of her outfit which makes her feel like she's back in high school. You know, I found that in college no one gave a shit. No one cared what you did or what you wore and if they did, they probably made a comment to their friends behind your back and you never knew about it. I don't think I remember anyone getting bullied in that era. People who never talked to me in high school talked to me like normal in college because it just felt like a different space and everyone had matured or something. I'm not saying bullying doesn't happen, but it just doesn't seem super likely, especially given how gorgeous Lea Michele is. I'm sorry but I never understood people saying she wasn't pretty because she absolutely is and if you think she isn't, your standards are way too high. Sorry, I'm on my defend Rachel/Lea Michele soapbox, I'll step down now. Kurt says that of course she feels the same because she's still dressing the same. Rachel says she can't exactly afford a new wardrobe and Kurt gets an idea where she wouldn't have to pay for it.

The idea is, Kurt, as an intern is sneaking her into Vogue.com after hours to steal from his brand new fashion job. Kurt, honey, sweetie, do we need to have a talk about what is acceptable to expect from your intern job? Anyway, they sneak in and are immediately caught because an intern's card accessing a restricted area after midnight? Probably gonna be a red flag. Isabelle is with the guards and she's the one to barge in first telling them to stop right there until she realizes it's Kurt. He explains that he was going to shoot a music video and give Rachel a makeover for the website but she stops him because he had her at makeover. She shoos the guards out and begins singing a mash up of The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra and You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile from the Annie musical. Fun fact, Sarah Jessica Parker herself was Annie in the 1979 Broadway show. They sing the song together as Rachel tries on various fancy dresses and while I'm sure it's super fun...wasn't the point to get a makeover that she can wear to her school? I doubt there are a lot of opportunities for gown wear in her daily life right now. I'm such a buzzkill, I know but this always struck me as odd. 

We cut right to Kurt showing off his raw footage to Blaine. Blaine says it's awesome and Isabelle will totally want to use it but when he tries to ask for Kurt's input on which bowtie he should wear for the student president debate, Kurt brushes him off saying he'll look good in whatever and gushes more about his own life. Blaine looks most displeased and we cut to what would be a commercial break.

Now I'm about to be a bit petty and nitpicky here but bear with me. Ok, Will goes to talk to Emma as a guidance counselor and not as a fiancée. He specifically says this. Then he drops on her that he wants to be part of a panel to argue for arts funding across the country. He then says that it will mean he has to be apart from the kids and her for several months. Emma looks super taken aback but she does encourage him to follow his dreams and that he should at least apply. Will then looks at her and I think he's supposed to be thinking about how lucky he is as he signs the paperwork but I really feel like the scene is missing something. Like he should have said how much he appreciates her support but I mean, even a simple "I love you so much," would have sufficed. He says nothing to her and when he leans in, there isn't a kiss, he just signs his application. I don't know, it feels weird. It feels weird that he dumped this on her in the context of their work and her being a guidance counselor and not at home as his fiancée and partner. Maybe it's my Will hate speaking but I didn't like this exchange at all.

It looks like she's expecting a kiss and it just never comes

We next find the debate happening. For how much Blaine was worried about Sam and even shamed him as being a former stripper, Sam comes over and advises Blaine to lose the bowtie because it makes him look uptight. Blaine takes it off and he agrees, astounded that Sam would have a good idea. Fuck you, Blaine and your stupid ventriloquist dummy attire. Sorry, I hate Blaine and am intensely protective of Sam so you're just going to have to deal with these outbursts. Hey the J'accuse kid is back in the audience. I've been told by my avid Glee enthusiast friend, Lucas that this is Stoner Brett and I should put some respect on his name. Sorry for not recognizing you before Stoner Brett but glad to see you back and be super excited about student politics. At first it seems like Artie is knocking it out of the park. Sam just agrees with him. Blaine looks upset and is even less impressed when Sam starts stripping as a response to someone asking if he's ashamed about having been a stripper. Ok, super side note here but the whole Sam being a stripper while he was in high school story makes me super uncomfortable and the fact that they keep bringing it up as a joke doesn't help. You know what else? I watched The Girl Next Door recently and oh my god that aged so badly. I loved it as a teen, thought it seemed super sex positive and made you sympathize with a porn star but watching it as an adult? She's the same age as the protagonist and has been in so many porn films that she is a porn star at 18. What the fuck happened in her life? Timothy Olyphant as her ex boyfriend, he super dated her while she was underage and everything felt so gross and off. What the fuck was the early 2000s? This Sam as stripper thing reminds me of that. Like we're shaming a kid who was so down on his luck that he got into stripping which doesn't say anything about him but it sure as fuck says a lot about a society that ignores struggling families and lets an underage child sell his body for money for older people's enjoyment. Do what you want when you're an adult but you have to admit that this is fucked up. Sorry for the tangent. It's Blaine's turn to talk now and he was so traumatized by Brittany's hair gel ban that he brings it up here and likens it to burning books. Slow your role, Blaine. She was right to save you from yourself because I think your hair gel habit has only gotten worse. You're Ross Gellar season 1 hair helmet levels of too much hair gel right now. Brittany's rebuttal is to say she loves everyone and the school so much she wishes she could marry it. Ok, no but she says that she's going to outlaw all weekends and vacations so they never have to leave the school so I think she's intentionally tanking herself right now. Stoner Brett storms out he is so disgusted by her platform and I concur. Weekends should be longer, not non-existent. 

Isabelle wants to talk to Kurt and she says he should sit down. He looks like he's about to throw up and asks if he's being fired when she says she sent the video to Anna, their boss. On the contrary though, she thought it was great and they're going to use the video. Well, they're reshooting it with a professional model but Kurt will get credit. Isabelle then offers Kurt a little advice, she thinks he has a high aptitude for fashion and even though it's his dream to go to NYADA, dreams can change and she really thinks that one day A-listers will be fighting to wear one of his designs. One of the ladies from the earlier meeting asks if they're going forward with the leather thing but Isabelle says they're scratching it and starting from scratch and that Kurt will be in on the meeting. The lady does not look impressed. She's probably even less impressed since Isabelle wants to take Kurt to lunch. Oh man, lady, your job may be getting usurped by the intern. 

Rachel is in the dance room, stretching when Brody comes in. He is absolutely all for her make over and confesses that he also had a makeover when he came to New York. They bond over being former dweebs and Rachel says it's amazing what an outside change can do for your confidence. Brody disagrees and thinks that her outside has now caught up to how she felt about herself on the inside and she likes that. He says he likes her and she gets all blushy. I would too. She goes over to the piano and he asks her if she's working on something. She shows him the song and he says he loves it so she asks him to sing with her. I love this song too and it's a super fun little duet of Sheryl Crow's A Change Would Do You Good as they romp through New York.

Rachel is mega turned on singing with this guy who can actually keep up with her. I don't think I've ever seen Finn frolic with her like this and keep up with her vocally. Just saying. Brody thinks their singing together was amazing and that she's amazing. Rachel also seems turned on and asks him what he's doing tomorrow night because she wants to cook him dinner. Not going to lie, past me and present me was cheering her on for this. MOVE ON! MOVE ON! MOVE ON!

Next Sue is getting ready to announce the winner and, do I really need to? We all knew it was going to be Blaine since Brittany tanked her chances but even before then because this show loves Blaine. You should know by now that I very much don't. He's just so bland and boring. Anyway, he wins and Artie congratulates him. Blaine liked Artie's points though and wants to make some room for him in his establishment. Artie says thanks but no thanks because he got what he wanted out of running, Sugar asked him out on a date. She wants to go horseback riding with him which...should be interesting. Artie asks if Blaine's talked to Kurt and Blaine lies his face off that he did and Kurt is all proud and celebratory. Blaine then tries to call Kurt so that it's not a lie but oops, Kurt is too busy talking with Isabelle and the other fashion people so he declines his call. Blaine hangs up and complains to Sam about how he came to McKinley for Kurt and now Kurt is off in New York and what the hell does Blaine have now? Sam is a sweetheart so he says that they're bros now and can be friends. Sam just wants to be everyone's friend be supportive and I love him for that. He says that they can be like Cyclops and Wolverine which seems to make Blaine a bit happier. They both try to claim being Wolverine but Sam said it first. Brittany congratulates Blaine on his win and then she sits down with Sam to congratulate him as Blaine leaves. Sam confesses that he voted for her and Brittany looks super happy about this. She says she would have voted for him but she really wanted to win. Sam is cool with that though and makes her laugh and oh my god, am I shipping Sam and Britt now?

She even laughed at his impersonations.
Finally someone in Glee appreciates them.

Will goes to talk to Sue and tells her he took her advice and mailed in the application. Sue congratulates him and says he made the right decision. Will says he needs a written recommendation but Sue is already a step ahead of him and had one written already. It's embellished like crazy but in an actually good way. He thanks her but Sue says that she wants him out of here and she actually thinks she means this in a good way as well. They shake hands so I guess they're friends again. Hey, where is Shannon? We haven't seen her yet this season have we? I miss her. Sorry, just a little side tangent as I see that Sue and Will are now friends. Again. For now.

Rachel is getting ready for her big date. She's attempting to cook but as she's reading the instructions, the food catches fire. Brody arrives and says she's smoking but Rachel says it's just the duck but he clarifies that it's her he meant and she smiles while literal smoke wafts around her. I kind of love that sight gag even though I know no one has ever said that since we annoyed ourselves with that saying because of The Mask. She and Brody caht over their pizza dinner since she burnt the duck she was trying to cook. He wants to know something about her that no one else knows about her.  She urges him to go first which is a solid move. He admits to loving Ace of Base when he was younger and Rachel jokes that she thought he was straight. He says that the girls were hot so it's justified. Rachel admits that when she was 8 she got her first love letter from a boy who was very cute but that she corrected all of his spelling and grammatical errors and gave it back to him. Wait...is Rachel me? I was also oblivious of crushes at that age and probably would have corrected spelling errors, at the very least. "Oh a letter? You must want me to proof it" is very on brand for young demisexual Mel. I'm still pretty oblivious about stuff like this, if I'm honest. Back to the show, Rachel admits that she never even told Finn this and I'll just tick that off as another reason why her and Finn are not endgame like the show wants them to be. Brody reiterates that he's respecting her and they're just friends but Rachel gives him a "are we really just friends?" kind of look and they lean close and start kissing. Moon River is playing in the background so it's all romantic and lovely until someone knocks at the door and I groan. So does Brody but Rachel assures him that it's just Kurt who forgets his keys all the time. 

Narrator: It was not Kurt

Oh man, I'm about to get super fucking pissed at Finn, aren't I? If he thinks he gets to be hurt that she moved on after months, four months of no contact, he's got another thing coming. Screw him and his stupid face. We get no confrontation this episode though, even though Finn sees she's with Brody. We fade to black after this moment and will only get to see what happens next episode, The Break-Up. Hey. Spoilers. But also, yes please!