Original air date: May 15, 2012
This episode surprised me by being pretty fun. It's essentially all about Nationals, very condensed and very performance heavy for a good chunk but they are some very strong performances so I'm not at all mad. We're barreling towards the end of season 3 with Nationals.
We're hit with the first snag of the episode right at the start. Mercedes, one of their strongest performers, is down for the count with food poisoning. Sue is freaking out that it's either Dengue fever or the H1N1 virus because she's over dramatic and now she wants to make a plan. Will tells Mercedes that she's on bed rest and Quinn that she's stepping in for her. Quinn protests and Tina tells her that she's better than she thinks and the team needs her. Will then says that she's in the Trouble Tones too. Mercedes doesn't want to miss their last performance so Sue says that she's going to be on a vitamin B12 drip, flushing her system with pedialyte, and put her in an ice bath since that worked in Jacob's Ladder. Fun fact: that's a horror movie and it was what inspired Silent Hill so maybe don't take health tips from that movie. They take their marching orders and hop to it. Emma asks if Will is ok but he's freaking out about how they might not win and how much he wants it for them. Emma is like, chill it's a competition and they know everyone can't win. Will says they never get to win and it's like....yes they do. They win all the time. It's how they got this far. Will wants them to be able to walk down the halls as champions for the last few days of school. Emma thinks that the kids are ready because he's been preparing them for 3 years but Will is worried it wasn't enough. Just then, Shannon comes in to tell him he needs to come quick because they have trouble.
The kids are all fighting and yelling at each other in their room. Sam is pissed that Puck is studying for his test when they're supposed to be rehearsing. Puck thinks he knows the dance moves but is then insulted and I'm here for that. Santana doesn't want to hear crap about them not being able to win without Mercedes and says that if anyone isn't giving it their all, she'll go all Lima Heights on their asses. I think she means Lima Heights Adjacent. Will tells them to listen to themselves and Santana has the grace to apologize because she always goes to the yelling place but nope. Will is actually fine with the fighting because it means they really want this. He says that their arguing is about passion because it's all about the work. Sure, Will. Applaud the fact that your dysfunctional team is busy arguing instead of working together. I will say that it's nice to see them take this one a little more seriously than the last. The writers listened at least a little bit to our complaints last time because they are sticking to their set list that they actually picked more than a few hours before the competition. I like that they showed them practicing this before. Sure they swapped out the Flashdance song for Edge of Glory but I'm ok with that. It's still better than the season 2 Nationals story by a long shot. Will tells them to take a break and then resume practicing after but they all want to keep going. Quinn is determined to nail the dance choreo for Edge of Glory. Will asks Mike to help with the dance, Artie to help Puck study, and tells Brittany to start from the chorus. They all start working together to nail their performance. I like it.
Rachel is outside in her performance outfit and she looks fantastic. She's searching for Carmen but she finds Jesse instead. He tells her that she's wasting her time looking to see if she's coming and should focus on settling for fourth place. Rachel wonders how he knew about Carmen but he says he makes it his business to know about his competition. He tells her he hopes she doesn't choke like that for the competition but Rachel says she knows he's trying to psych her out. She points out all his tells and it catches him off guard. Jesse admits that he's under a lot of pressure to save the program from collapse and Rachel says that he did help the program with Unique. Jesse takes credit. Rachel says it was actually Kurt and Mercedes' idea but like, no it wasn't? It was all Unique. They encouraged her at first and then went to tell her she shouldn't do it and she did it anyway because she's fierce. Am I the only one watching this show? The writers sure aren't. Jesse starts freaking out about not understanding the competition theme but Rachel builds him up, telling him his Bohemian Rhapsody was amazing and she's not lying. Rachel says he'll do great but that New Directions is going to beat them and he's impressed with her confidence. Why do these two have so much chemistry that I'm rooting for them to be together again?
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| They're just too good |
Finn interrupts to ask if everything is ok. Rachel says it is and goes back inside. Jesse actually reaches out to Finn and congratulates him on his future marriage to Rachel. They wish each other luck and it's kind of nice to see everyone burying the hatchet here.
Back stage, Finn presents Rachel with a souvenir cup he got and wants to bring it back with them for their wedding so they can smash it, as is custom in Jewish weddings. He thinks they're going to be champions and Rachel finds his optimism sexy. Finn isn't just optimistic, he put hard money on it. He bet Rick the Stick double or nothing that they'd win. Rachel is upset because the $500 is their honeymoon fund and I'm just like, where were they going for $500? Even $1000 is kind of not much when you factor in dining out and sight seeing/entertainment. It is pretty realistic for a couple of high schoolers though. He is determined though, they are going to win, they're going to get married, he's going to smash the glass, and they'll live happily ever after. This is such a highschool view of the world and I kind of love it. This is the version of Finn I can get behind, his sweet, albeit naïve optimism.
The kids are in the green room cheering. Will wants to give them a pep talk but Finn interrupts him because a teacher knows his job is done when their students don't need them anymore. I know what he's saying but I laughed so much at this. Will has done so little all season (for the better, in my opinion), and this is his one moment to shine but Finn says "nah man, we don't need you anymore" and truer words were never spoken. Will looks so hurt too but hands the floor to Finn. Finn says that they all talked and they really want to win the trophy for Will so that makes Will feel a bit better that his speech was usurped. They say that even if he doesn't win Teacher of the Year, he is their teacher of a lifetime. Will thanks them and they all gather for the show circle. Mercedes charges in, ready to roll thanks to Sue's crazy treatments. Quinn is relieved that she doesn't have to do the Trouble Tones number but Mercedes says screw that, they're all performing together. Tina too because it's their last chance to. They cheer and head out as their cue to start flashes in the green room.
Will is now in the audience, Sue makes a food related joke to Shannon because this show loves belittling her but then accepts her offer of food. Will is nervous about going first because it's the death slot, Carmen hasn't shown up, Mercedes still has a fever, and before he can list much else, Emma takes his hand reassuringly. The MC lists their celebrity judges and excuse me, the first one is Lindsay freaking Lohan!! I didn't remember this at all but let me tell you, I just watched Falling for Christmas which features her and none other than Chord Overstreet (Sam Evans) as our starring lovers to be. How nice to see that they were on an episode of Glee together first. Yeah, they probably weren't there at the same time but still, it's cool that this is the episode I see right after watching this special Christmas rom com. The other judges are Perez Hilton who fucking sucks and I don't care about him. The last judge is only introduced as a Democratic City Councilman.
The Unholy Trinity, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn are excited to be doing one last performance together, just like they started. It's a sweet moment before they go on to perform Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga. It's killer and they really needed to bring it after their lacklustre Nationals performance from Season 2. They definitely brought it.
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| The Unholy Trinity together again |
Rachel is watching from backstage and is freaking out that Carmen hasn't shown yet. Finn, actually being a great boyfriend, calms her down. He tells her this is her moment, she should forget about everything else and just take it. She goes out and absolutely slays Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back to Me Now. I'm not even joking. I'm not a Celine fan but I love hearing Rachel own this song. Nearing the end of the song, Carmen finally shows up and is definitely wowed by her performance, especially the standing ovation she receives. They then go right into Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf and it's a long ass song but everyone is loving it, including Carmen. Things are looking up for New Directions.
After the performance, Mercedes and Kurt go to wish Unique luck but she's having a huge case of stage fright. She's not sure she can conjure Unique's fearless attitude because the pressure to be an icon and someone for LGBTQ+ youth to look up to is getting to be too much for her to handle. Kurt and Mercedes offer her encouragement and she asks them why they're helping her if they're enemies. They say it's not how they roll. They wish her luck and Unique mentions that she may have to transfer schools so I think that Ryan Murphy et all have finally realized that they picked the wrong winners from the Glee Project because it sounds like Unique is here to stay. I wish we got more Harmony too and way less of the boring white boys that actually won.
We get to see two of Vocal Adrenaline's performances which is hilarious to me because the winners of The Glee Project have not gotten main on any competition songs but the runners up got multiple powerhouse feature songs and at least one competition number. Meanwhile Unique will have slayed three competition numbers by this seasons end in only 2 episode appearances. Hilarious. They start off with Nicki Minaj's Starships and I honestly think that while Unique does a solid job, I can see them losing the competition based solely on the awkward censoring of "higher than a mothafucka" to "higher than any other." A valiant effort but it just doesn't sound right and I would totally penalize them for that. They go from this song right into Pinball Wizard by The Who and it honestly sounds so good it kind of made me forget about the changed lyrics of the other song but not quite.
We then get our standard, judges being terrible people while insulting and arguing about who should win. Perez keeps posting insider updates about Lindsay which speaks volumes to how paparazzi scum treat celebrities. Look, however you feel about a celebrity, I don't think anyone deserves to have every minute of their lives documented by people against their will. I think it's such a scummy way to make a living. Let them have some amount of privacy. Lindsay likes New Directions, of course because she's correct. Perez is team Vocal Adrenaline so it comes down to the city councilman who's obsessed with show choirs to decide. Who will win?
Jesse approaches Carmen Thibideaux and we learn that he auditioned for her 2 years ago but didn't get in. She doesn't remember him at all though and bids him good day but he's not here for himself. Instead, he wants to talk to her about Rachel. He's not sabotaging though, he's singing her praises. He thanks her for her time and she finally remembers that he auditioned with Giants in the Sky from Into the Woods. She recalls his breathwork needed work and that his diction wasn't crisp enough to handle one of Sondheim's most challenging works but that his passion and vocal range were admirable. She wishes him luck and this seems to lift Jesse's spirits. Love this moment.
We segue right to the announcement of the winners. Instead of Rachel winning MVP, the award goes to Unique. The Scale Blazers, mentioned briefly for their performance of Starlight Express but I don't think I know what that is. Then the winners are announced and it's New Directions baby!! The joy you experience, regardless of how messy this show is, when they win is almost palpable. They're so happy. We get a long musical montage of our rag tag team celebrating about their win. Then they return to McKinley with their trophy and there's balloons set up. Students are standing silently in the hall so our team stops, wondering what's about to happen. Rick the Stick and his buddy come down the center of the lined hallway with slushie cups. The glee kids recoil but when they toss the cup's contents it's filled with celebratory red and white confetti. I love this moment so much. This would have been a killer series finale. I could almost forgive everything that came earlier if this was it for us but...3 more seasons. Still, their partying and happiness is a joy to see.
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| Their shocked faces because they totally expected slushies gets me every time |
Figgins has called Rachel and Finn to his office. He's presenting them with bumper stickers and mini pom poms to celebrate their win, since they are co-captains of New Directions. He also presents them with a wedding gift even though he's opposed to young marriage. I don't know how much he gives because US money all looks the same and my eye sight is terrible but judging from Rachel's expression, I'm thinking it's a very low amount to count as a gift. Figgins also asks them if they'll perform at a special occasion. They agree but want to know what the special occasion is. Figgins asks them if they can keep a secret but we don't know what it is yet.
Next up, we get the Teacher of the Year assembly. Sue is ready to accept her yearly award. Figgins calls Rachel and Finn up to give away the award. Surprising no one, Will is the winner. Finn tells him that he teaches his kids to dream, which is the most important thing, in his books. Rachel says she'll carry him with her always when she pushes herself to achieve her dreams. They tell him this is for him and they and the New Directions perform We Are the Champions by Queen.
What a lovely ending to a wonderful show. Oh, no wait, there's still one episode left and there's also 3 more seasons. Still, it's a very good penultimate episode to a season. I suppose there are still some storylines to wrap up but I don't think I really needed to know who got in where. Our kids won and that's a great send off, in my opinion. Still, we will get some more bows tied up in our next episode, aptly titled Goodbye.
I didn't want to bog down the post with too many videos but you really should watch their performances, New Directions killed it.
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