Glee - 320 - Props

 Original air date: May 15, 2012

It's amazing how good an episode of Glee can seem after you've seen the worst episode ever of tv. Usually, I'm enjoying Dawson's and their writing more and complaining about Glee but oh how the tables have turned. Now, Glee is not great at writing or continuity but at least this episode is fun so let's get to it.

First off, I usually skip talking about the "Here's what you missed" part of the episode because I just mostly find those not needed but it's actually part of what's going on here. Part way through the normal speedy recap, our narrator gets to Tina and it sounds like they just took a bunch of people's complaints about her character and jammed it in. From talking about how she's been ignored this season and last season despite being an original member of New Directions, to the fact that all of her solos are interrupted by boos or her sobbing uncontrollably. They also mention how no one seems to know her name and splice in a bunch of times people insulted her purposefully but that's the bullying that's for comedy so you should laugh. Please read that last bit with all the sarcasm your brain power can muster. So, right away this episode is telling us to shut up with our complaints because this will be Tina's episode to shine. Let's see how she does.

We open this Tina-centric episode on Mercedes and Kurt. They are getting misnamed by Sue because see above. Sue is upset because Unique has become a sensation and Jesse is getting acclaim for being a visionary. You know how I said that the dialogue very clearly seemed to be pointing to Unique being Trans? This episode is here to muddy the waters and be kind of trans and homophobic? This show was lauded for being inclusive and diverse, remember? Despite the fact that Unique told them she was a woman, Mercedes keeps calling her a he and it's not out of her malice. She was being supportive but it's just that the writers don't understand what they wrote or what they're writing about. They also try to take credit for convincing her to perform like that but, if you'll recall, they went there to stop her from performing as herself and she defied them. Get your facts right, writers. Sue is mad that Unique is a small town celebrity and Sue calls her a "he/she" which is gross. Sue wants Kurt to cross dress for Nationals as "Porcelina" in order to even the playing field. This is inappropriate on so many levels and, of course, Kurt refuses to do it. Mercedes asks him about Halloween in which he dressed as Snookie. Blaine is also The Situation which is a thing that was airing at the time this aired and which I want no part in because that whole thing was lame as shit. 

I am so glad I have no knowledge of this show

Rachel is singing I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz. When she finishes, she calls a number on the phone. We find out that it's Carmen Thibbideau's office when we hear her voice mail pick up. Rachel leaves a message asking her if she got her muffin basket and invitation to come see her perform at Nationals. She understands it's a lot to ask but wants her to see that her audition failure was a fluke. She hangs up, looking a bit dejected.

We then go to glee club where Will announces that for their "vintage" theme they are going to perform Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Jim Steinman and performed by Meat Loaf, and then Rachel will do a solo of It's All Coming Back to Me by Celine Dion and she is ecstatic. Sue then says that they are working in a Troubletones performance with Kurt Hummel dressed as a woman and again Kurt protests. Sue reveals they'll be doing What a Feeling from Flashdance. Sue then tells them to look under their seats and they find welding helmets. Sam does a Darth Vader impression which isn't important, I just wanted to include it because Sam is endearing. Joe can stuff it with his asking if that's from a movie. Will tells them that they're going to use props for their performance. No one is enthusiastic about this because of the whole hair situation in Hairography. Will won't hear their complaints though because he asked Sue for help and she's the expert and trusting her has never backfired on him before except every other time he's trusted her. It'll be fine. Tina decides this is the moment, this is her moment to complain that Rachel gets all the solos. Move over Mercedes! Rachel says that she needs the solo but Tina says that blowing her audition doesn't mean she should just be given solos. Rory says quietly in the background that he'd like another solo before he gets deported but no one cares. Sugar wants a solo too even though she supposedly can't sing. Pretty sure she can but the joke of her character is that she's basically here as a wallet. Will tells Tina that she's super important to the team and that he put her in charge of costumes. Tina is annoyed at this and Sue calls her Asian number one so she yells that her name is Tina. She leaves the room in a huff. 

Mike follows her and calls her selfish which is not that supportive for a boyfriend to do. He tells her that it's the senior's turn to shine and she'll get her chance next year. He tells her he's disappointed in her and leaves. Rachel comes out to also talk to Tina and says that she fully supports her and hears her but she offers her $50 to drop it until after Nationals because it's important to her to have a solo. She explains how she wants Carmen to come see her in the hopes that she'll still have a shot at NYADA. Tina says that she's been in Glee club since the beginning and that she was singing Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat when Puck and Finn were still throwing slushies at them. Rachel says Tina will get her chance next year but this doesn't brighten Tina's day at all.

We cut to Kurt and Blaine hanging out at the mall and talking about how it's not right that Sue is pressuring Kurt to cross dress when he isn't comfortable with that. Tina walks by with her arms full of sewing materials because apparently, McKinley has decided to make its students into dress makers. That is a lot of work for students to engage in and hard. Dressmaking is hard and it's a practiced skill. She's angry texting Mike who is still chastising her for storming out during glee club. Kurt and Blaine see her and ask what's up. She tells them about her fight with Mike and how she has to find fabric that doesn't clash with Rachel's high yellow undertones. I have no idea what that means. I am a fashion dumb dumb. Mike texts Tina again and as she's fuming about what he said, she trips and falls into the fountain. Kurt and Blaine rush over to her and here's where the fun bit of the episode starts.

They pull her out but suddenly it's Finn as Kurt and Puck as Blaine and they're calling Tina, Rachel. It's kind of funny that they think she may have hit her head but they want to rush her to glee club so she can prepare her solo for Nationals. Priorities. 

At school, Kurt!Finn wants her to go to Between the Sheets with him and Blaine!Puck complains about how he wants to hook up with Chandler again and they have a little argument about it. Rachel!Tina bumps into Santana!Artie who roasts her. Artie!Santana is in a wheelchair and says that she's an inspiration. That...doesn't seem like something Artie would do because he's an asshole. He couldn't even give compliments to the girls he dated. He's doing it in a way that is putting pressure on her though so that's more believable. Mercedes!Brittany is wheeling Artie!Santana and thankfully, they only put a dark haired wig on her. Not doing black face is a really low bar but thankfully, Glee managed not to cross it. Brittany!Mercedes does not get a blonde wig though which would be funnier, and Amber doesn't really sell me on sounding like Brittany so it was needed. Next Tina!Rachel walks up to her in goth garb and her blue highlights from season 1. She kind of rocks the look. She wants some pointers from Rachel!Tina. Sue!Will mocks Tina!Rachel by making a racist joke about her sharing chop suey recipes later. Will!Sue calls him out for being racist and calls the club to order. This is fun to watch but exhausting to write about. I'm constantly forgetting which way around I'm writing this so that you guys understand what I'm saying. You understand what I'm saying...right? RIGHT? Puck!Blaine yawns because he's lazy, I guess. Will!Sue urges Rachel!Tina to sing a song for them but she's nervous. Finn!Kurt gives her a pep talk and I have to say that Chris really nails Corey's whisper voice. He even nails the dopey look he does, it's pretty great.

It's the dopey smile with blank stare that sends me
He nailed it

Rachel!Tina sings Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion and she does ok. It's not mind blowing, just kind of ok. Jenna has a lovely voice but it's just not interesting enough to carry a song like this which is a big problem if this episode was meant to show that she could be the new lead. We get glimpses of the other switched cast Mike is Joe, Joe is Mike, Rory is Sam, Sam is Rory, Quinn is Sugar, Sugar is Quinn, and Ben is Glory. Or maybe they were just subletting. For how meh the performance is, it's at least very amusing to see each of the actors take on the other actor's quirks for their character. They must have had a blast doing this. Rachel!Tina gets her first standing ovation and she's really excited. Too bad it's all a dream. Spoilers I guess but if you haven't figured out this is a head trauma dream, I don't know what to tell you. 

Rachel!Tina stops Tina!Rachel and tells her that she did great singing back up for her. Tina essentially tells herself that she does a great job being in the background and that even though that's where she is this year, next year's her time to shine. Who's going to tell her? Tina!Rachel tells her that she can't believe her NYADA audition didn't go well. Rachel!Tina thanks her and wishes that Mme Thibideaux thought so as well. Tina!Rachel tells her that she should drive down to her office and refuse to leave until she agrees to see her perform at Nationals. Rachel!Tina can't believe how supportive she is even though she's always in the background but Tina!Rachel says it's because she's the star and when she helps her, they all win. Are you confused yet? Don't worry, the body switch plot is over which is kind of disappointing as a viewer because it's fun but I'm so, so happy as a recapper because this was so confusing to write. Tina wakes up in the mall fountain, being pulled out by Kurt and Blaine. Kurt is sad that the bolt of fabric went in with her because it's worth like $25 a yard. 

We cut to Sue trying to choreograph the flashdance number with welding sparks flying everywhere because that won't be a fire or safety hazard. Sue stops them because they aren't timing the sparks to the music and thinks that it's an unmitigated disaster that would have Jennifer Beals spinning in her grave. I mean, if she were dead. None of the glee kids are down with this routine and Will finally agrees because the props were supposed to help the routine, not be the routine. She tries once again to persuade Kurt to cross dress which is just very tired at this point. Kurt refuses and says they need a new approach.

Santana, Mercedes, and Brittany walk into the teacher's lounge. One teacher is exhausted and says it's their sacred space and buddy as a mom, I feel that. Can one space just be for the adults? No kids allowed. They ignore him and approach Shannon who is eating her chicken. No one made a comment about it at least, so they've spared me the usual Shannon eats a lot jokes and just made a point to mention that she eats a whole chicken. It's a tiny, little victory but I'll take it. The girls confront her about seeing her with Cooter when she said she was leaving him. Shannon says that adult relationships are complicated and that second chances are good but we get a flashback to Cooter yelling at her and calling her selfish, saying she pushes his buttons all while she stands over the sink holding a knife but let's it drop back into the sink. They urge her to get out of the house and offer for her to come to Nationals with them, which is in Chicago. Shannon says they already have enough chaperones and she's fine, totally fine. 

Kurt bursts into glee club and tells everyone they need to see what he has on tape. Sue is hopeful it's Porcelina and they are really in love with that bit, aren't they? Kurt shows them and it's Vocal Adrenaline practicing. Their moves are flawless and completely in sync with each other. Sue also points out that Unique is amazing and charismatic. The kids say Rachel is their Unique factor but Sue says that every choir has a little girl with a big nose which feels really gross for what's supposed to be a throw away joke. 

Rachel is practicing by herself by plucking piano notes and trying to hit them with her voice. If this show gets anything right, it's showing us glimpses of why Rachel is the best in this club. You can prefer other voices, hell I love Santana's but Rachel puts the work in and is constantly shown to be putting in the work. I like that she isn't just naturally gifted, I mean she is but even so, she puts effort and training in to improve it. It's not always enough to have a nice voice, there is work that needs to be put in to properly train your voice so you don't damage your vocal chords and to know how to perform a song. You can sing a song nicely but have no energy to it, see Tina's Celine Dion performance. It takes skill to be able to sing the emotion of a song. Anyway, long rant aside, Tina comes in and tells her she sounded great but Rachel says she's singing into the note instead of through. She was overconfident once and will never let it happen again. Spoilers, she will let it happen again. Tina tells her about her crazy Freaky Friday dream and how Rachel as Tina gave her as Rachel the advice to go see Carmen in person. Tina found out that Carmen is teaching a master class in Oberlin and offers to drive Rachel there. Rachel is touched and tells her that she's going to be the lead female vocalist next year. Oh man, I've got news for both of these people. 

Sue is still mad that Kurt won't dress up as Porcelina so she's fixed this by ordering a little person for each of them and I don't want to touch the wrongness of this whole exchange with a 10ft pole. Moving forward, Will is against that idea and wants to focus on choreography for Dashboard Lights. Puck enters, wearing a dress and wig to everyone's horror. Puck says his stage name is Lola which is probably a reference to the song Lola about a trans woman. Sue says she thought he was Shannon's sister which is a dig at how mannish Shannon looks and I hate it. I hate it so much. Look, eventually Shannon is going to come out as a trans man and I think that could have been a great story had it been handled well but given how they've written her as a woman at this point, a woman who is struggling with not fitting the norms, and the constant digs at her, the story feels more mean spirited which is why I'm still referring to Shannon as a she right now. I feel like this is the more powerful story and a show that mocks her constantly like this, doesn't get to be like "oh it's fine because she was actually a man" it doesn't erase the cruelty that this show dumps on Shannon. She was introduced with this insecurity of being a woman but not looking the part and how damaging that is for her and the show just constantly reminds her of the fact that she doesn't fit the part so it doesn't feel revelatory that she transitions, it feels mean, like a further jab. It shouldn't feel mean, it should be a good story, but I've never been able to stomach it and it's because of little jabs like this that the show makes all the damn time. Nothing against trans men and if Shannon transitioning helped someone feel seen, I think that's fantastic. I'm just saying that this show sucks at giving positive portrayals to anyone and it's disappointing as a viewer. I'm sorry to rant over one line but it just bugged me and I needed to get this off my chest because I've been wondering if I should be gendering Shannon differently, like I am with Unique, but it just doesn't feel right? It feels like I'm joining in with the mockery and I want no part of that so for now, Shannon remains Shannon and I will treat her with as much respect and dignity as I can until she transitions and then I will treat Sheldon with the same respect when he arrives. 

That was a long rant so lets get back on track. Will shuts down the whole cross dressing thing and says they're just going to focus on dance rehearsals and forget about props. Sue tells Will that she prepaid for the little people. I just want to say that the phrasing of this is that she bought people, not that she hired them to dance but that she bought them which means Sue is engaging in human trafficking and this is the joke. I have no words. 

Rick the Stick makes another appearance with his fabulous mullet to mock Puck for being a failure who can't even graduate high school. Puck gets pissed that he's no longer top dog and tries to lash out but Rick the Stick says that they should meet out by his dumpster because he doesn't want to get in trouble. Unlike Puck, Rick the Stick actually is going to graduate and got accepted to college. Sick burn, even mullet head got into college. 

Rick the Stick is an icon, even if he is a 30 year old trying to pass as 18

Tina is driving Rachel to see Carmen and asks about the wedding planning. Rachel says it's going ok but that she's very focused on winning Nationals first. Tina asks if she thinks they'll win but Rachel isn't sure, only that she wants to win really bad if only for Mr. Schue's sake. Rachel is worried that they'll go all the way there only for Carmen to say no. Tina doesn't think that will happen though because Rachel was born under a blessed golden star. Rachel doesn't think she believes in that anymore though. She worries that all the adults in her life had a dream that didn't work out and now they don't dream at all anymore and it's pretty heavy stuff. I wish this show explored stuff like this more but it's glee so we quickly move past it because Rachel suddenly decides that Carmen will say yes and she's not going to give up yet. Tina is happy to see the old Rachel Berry back and asks if they can sing together before graduation. Rachel agrees and is glad they are doing this together.

Next we get Puck meeting at the designated beat up spot. They fight but Rick the Stick gets a leg up on him and he ends up getting thrown in the dumpster, like he did to so many kids in the first season. Rick celebrates with his friends but Puck is not having this loss. He gets out of the dumpster and brandishes a flip blade. Everyone there is like what the hell dude? But the only thing that stops Puck is Shannon catching them and pulling his hand in hers. She is not here for this nonsense. She tells everyone else to get lost and pulls Puck into the locker room. Puck says it's just a prop rubber knife but still a bad move. Shannon wants to know what the hell he was thinking and Puck loses it. He yells that he's flunking out, he's a loser, and a nothing. His mom never went to a single game or concert he had and his dad was out of his life since he was 10 and only ever told him he'd turn out to be garbage. He says maybe his dad will be proud because he turned out to be exactly that. Shannon looks on in sympathy, clearly seeing some of the same pain about feeling worthless and powerless from Puck in herself. She hugs him close and says that everyone thinks that nothing hurts them but it does and that it's ok. Shannon is the best adult in Glee and deserves so much better from this show. Dot Marie always knocks it out of the park. 

Back with Rachel and Tina, they've arrived at the tail end of Carmen's masterclass where she's watching a guy perform. She tells him that his breath control is better but that it sounds emotionally flaccid. He thanks her fervently for her critique and leaves. Rachel approaches Carmen, and introduces herself to a very annoyed look from Carmen. She knows exactly who Rachel is and is clearly done with her obsessive calls. Not a good start. Carmen is about to tell her to take a hike when Tina steps in and acknowledges that Rachel is a pain in the ass and that what she wants, she gets but she gets things because she's exceptional. Not just her voice but her passion and her drive to succeed. Tina and I are on the same page here. Rachel jumps in and says that she really just wants her to see her sing because there is nothing that she is more passionate about or brings her more joy. Carmen is skeptical because she forgot the words to the song but Rachel assures her that was a fluke. Carmen tells her to go but Rachel says that she will see her again next year and every year after that until she gets in and asks her if she didn't audition for Julliard four times. Carmen looks a bit thoughtful but we don't get an answer. 

We cut to Shannon and Cooter. He's brought home pineapple pizza for a celebration because he signed some guy and he's totally never going to lose his cool again. Shannon turns around with the prop knife in her hand and he asks if she's going to stab him. She says not with this one but maybe the one in the kitchen that she now keeps under her pillow. Cooter is all confused and pleasant and quiet which is honestly brilliant because a lot of abusers aren't assholes all the time, that's not how they can keep you trapped. They pull this shit where they act like your anger has come out of nowhere and they're just so goshdarned confused because they were trying to be better, why do you expect so much out of them? In order to make it your fault and not theirs. It's scary and I'll give this show props for trying to illustrate this. She tells him she has a lot of shame but she's leaving it here with him, along with his ring. He asks her not to leave him and why she hates him. She tells him that she doesn't hate him which makes things worse, she loves him but she is worried about what that says about how she feels about herself. Honestly, powerful. I may have teared up. Dot Marie is too good. The mask comes off Cooter and he tries the negging tactic of asking who's going to love her now. Shannon tells him she will love herself and it's very satisfying as she slams the door and walks out on him.

Puck is singing Mean by Taylor Swift. Shannon finds him and joins in singing which is a rare sweet moment with Puck. They finish up and she tells him that Mrs. Doosenberry agreed to let him take a retest. Puck is shocked because he thought she hated him but Shannon says that she only hated his attitude. All she ever wanted, any teacher wants from their students, is for them to try their best. Shannon says that his retest is Friday and she's going to help him through it. Puck is shocked that she would help him so much and Shannon tells him that he already helped her and that he is loved and not alone. I can't believe I'm tearing up again, at a Puck scene no less. Damn, Dot Marie is good. This post is just me fawning over Dot Marie and you're all just going to have to deal with it.

Sugar and Tina are working on the costumes for their performance and Sugar is not happy. Tina has been reprogrammed to be ok with this though. I'd argue that none of them should be seamstresses for show choir unless it's something they actually wanted to do but that's just me. Sugar thinks Rachel should sew her own dress but Tina says that Rachel is working hard already and practicing until her vocal chords bleed so Sugar should show her some respect. Tina tells Sugar that she's sewing her dress right now and is happy too because it takes a lot of crystals to make something shine. Mike looks at her approvingly and Tina smiles because next year, if they work hard, they will get the solos. Oh man...

I wonder if Ryan Murphy even mentioned it to her...

Apparently Sue and Will are still trying to work out performances? At this juncture? When Nationals is like this week or something? And they are leaving today?? It's hard to tell time in this series. Shannon comes in with a suitcase and asks to be a chaperone for Nationals. She says she'll pay her own way and sleep on the bus but Will says that they'll find her room. Sue makes a snarky comment about how she booked an executive suite for her and the baby which I keep forgetting about because it's a stupid plot and they really haven't even tried to make her look or act pregnant. Will says Shannon can bunk with him and Emma which sounds so awkward that I'd rather sleep on the bus, if I were Shannon. Sue makes another snide remark by asking Shannon why she packed on the off chance she could go and Shannon confesses that she left Cooter. To Sue's credit, she immediately softens and gives Shannon a hug because she should know that this might have been coming since she was there for this whole side plot. They welcome her aboard. 

Finn and Rachel are talking about how great Tina was for taking Rachel to see Carmen. Finn likens Tina to an offensive lineman but I am Rachel who doesn't understand a word of his analogy but is pretty sure it's nice. He tells her she's their "Unique factor" but Rachel doesn't think so. They hear Sam talking to some of the other members and Rachel looks at him wistfully, you could almost say longingly...sorry it's just I think my friend has totally sold me on the Samchel ship. Anyway, Rachel says that their "Unique factor" is the fact that they all came together, sharing their differences, and supported each other through everything. That's what she loves about them.

We then get Rachel singing Flashdance (What a Feeling) from Flashdance and she gets Tina up with her to sing together as requested. We transition from them in the auditorium to them getting ready to board the bus to Nationals. Everyone piles in as they sing and then they cheer themselves on. Next stop, finally, Nationals. 

So, I kind of liked this episode but I'm a little on the fence. I'm a sucker for passing the torch stories and I really like this as a passing the torch and part of me is very disappointed that this wasn't indicative of how next season could go. I love this as a set up but to be very honest, brutally so, if this was supposed to showcase Jenna as a star...she doesn't have it. I'm not saying she's not talented, she very much is and her voice is lovely, it's just not strong and she's not charismatic enough to carry a show. I don't know if that's her fault or the fact that the show spent 3 seasons ignoring her or giving her any sense of a personality for us to latch onto but she just couldn't convince me she's a star. That said, it does seem rather cruel to have this episode set up her getting solos and being more central, even having Rachel give her blessings like this only for them to cast someone completely new, a freshman, and make her the "New Rachel" but hey, this is Glee. They are nothing if not absolutely cruel to their characters and actors. Buckle up because next recap is Nationals and pretty soon, we are saying goodbye to Glee as we know it.

See you in Chicago, baby