Dawson's Creek - 618 - Love Bites

 Original air date: April 9, 2003

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you all, I've been dreading this episode. At first I thought it was because of the return of Eddie and how Joey chooses him over Pacey and yes, it's very much that but also? It's the finality of it, the utter abruptness of it. It feels like a big middle finger to the fans of this ship, like they just wanted us to shut up and go away. This felt personal. 

We open the episode right where we left off, on Eddie's shit eating face. Wow, sorry, I'm just super bitter he's back. Joey is shocked and asks what he's doing here and I have to say, much as I'm also asking this question, the way she's playing it reads like she's pissed he left? Which is absolutely valid, don't get me wrong but when we last left these two, they seem to have mended things and were kissing and promising to meet back up or something. We can argue until the cows come home if her forgiving him made any kind of sense but I'm just saying that in the show, they left on good terms but here she almost seems mad again. I am here for her anger, especially when she rejects kissing him and says that he left her. She tells him that she can't and that she moved on. Eddie looks sad but he understands and walks away. Why couldn't this be the conclusion? This feels especially cruel because first time viewers would be excited by this rejection, showing that she has chosen Pacey and sent Eddie packing, as it should be. But alas, there is more to cover.

After the credits, we are in Joey's dorm room. Audrey is not there, maybe she's still at rehab but who knows? She's vanished from this show along with Jack and the non-British British Emma. Harley is rifling through her closet because she wants to find Joey something to wear that makes her look cool but not hot or something. We get a brief mention of Audrey as Harley pulls out a nice looking dress which belongs to her. Harley vetoes it though because she's worried all the boys will succumb to her older women ways. This whole plot feels like a lot of apologia for the Pacey/Ms. Jacobs season 1 plot and I don't like it. There is a huge focus on how young guys love going for older women as if that excuses the adult's behaviour if they do engage sexually with a minor and that is just so gross. It doesn't matter the gender variation, an adult engaging sexually with a minor is 100% on the adult and it's gross. I might be reading too much into this but it's a quirk I noticed in some shows and I don't like it. Harley makes a joke about wearing pasties which scandalizes Joey but it wouldn't have scandalized season 1 leather chaps and Crisco Joey. She kicks Harley out so she can study.

We then find Jen looking at herself in the mirror and saying she looks a mess and you know how extremely gorgeous girls wake up with "sex hair" in movies and say that but they always look extremely gorgeous? No shade on Michelle who is gorgeous but this is the one time I was like...yeah you kind of do.

How did it get worse? Are the bangs somehow uneven now??

I'm sorry, I just can't get over how bad this hairdo look is on her. When people say "helmet hair", this is the look they're talking about. It's so...bad. Anyway, CJ is all happy in his post coital bliss. He does mention that Grams broke up with his Uncle Bill and he's now broken hearted over it. I'm all for that because I hated Uncle Bill. Jen says she'll talk to her Grams and see what's up and they kiss goodbye.

Pacey is at work and calls Joey. He jokes with her about her being a mistress of pain and Joey chuckles while joining in but he soon says in a rather hurt voice that he was expecting her. So, Joey just ditched Pacey without even a phone call to say she was tired or something? Rude. He tries to invite her out that night but she can't because she agreed to chaperone Harley's school dance. Pacey asks if she'll be in a dress and heels and when she confirms he agrees to go immediately. It's super sweet even if he is inviting himself. She tells him to meet at 6 and their plan is set.

Pacey hangs up and immediately, as if he can sense happiness in the vicinity, Dawson comes to put a stop to it. Pacey asks him if he can smell the money being made and Dawson says he can if it smells like Drakar Noir and that is my cue to share this gif again because I cannot hear the name of that cologne without thinking of this now:

Drakar Noir!!

Pacey asks why Dawson is there and Dawson slams a cheque down on the table. It's all the money he saved from working with Todd and he wants Pacey to grow it into an indie film budget. Even back then, that would probably be at least half a million to a million dollars. I know people have done it for less but still. Pacey gets Dawson to follow him into his office and says that he was kind of joking about being able to make money for Dawson but Dawson doesn't care, he wants Pacey to take his money. Pacey wisely tells him that mixing friends with business is probably not a good idea. Dawson is Mr Sunshine about the whole thing and says that it shouldn't be a problem. I will hold Dawson to this because he's the one pushing this and shushing Pacey's concerns. Though, Pacey, you know Dawson can hold a grudge and already thinks little of you. I wouldn't touch this deal with a 10 foot pole even if I could guarantee success. Dawson doesn't deserve it but on top of that? Dawson is also an idiot. It takes a long time to build wealth through investments when you're just starting out. How is he expecting to significantly grow his wealth within, let's be generous and say Dawson wants to start shooting in a year, but we all know he wants to shoot like right away. A year is nowhere near enough time. Maybe he saved $50,000 from working on the film but I doubt that, as he was just a PA, but even then, growth doesn't happen overnight. This is just dumb and Dawson is dumb for thinking this would work. 

Jen approaches Grams all joke-like about her break up with Uncle Bill. She calls her a heartbreaker which Grams takes great offence to. Jen then makes a crack about slipping something into her morning Metamucil to calm her and Grams gives her the biggest stink eye as she leaves the room. Jen looks a bit taken aback by how bad that went because she thought they were just gonna joke together but clearly Grams is not in the mood.

Joey has gotten into the dress that Harley picked out for her. She is looking at pictures on a wall, her and Dawson, her and Pacey, and finally her and Eddie. Pacey knocks at the door and he tells her she is too hot to be a chaperone. He then pulls out two boxes with two different corsages for her to choose from. He says it's to make up for their prom and my heart cracks. He's clearly viewing this as a second chance with her and is trying his hardest to make things right, starting with this. Joey picks one made of veggies and gives him a rose for his suit. He puts her coat on her and gives her a hug. She looks a bit uncomfortable and I hate this already. 

They walk into the dance behind Harley and Patrick. Harley is unimpressed because it's not immediately the way she wants it to be. Joey says that she also had a date who didn't dance and excuse her? Excuse her very much. Is she forgetting that she and Pacey took dance class together? Is she forgetting the most magical moment this show ever produced???

My heart melts every single time I see this.
I could stare at this gif for hours

Joey also brings up that he dumped her at their prom which is true and I'll thank her not to remind me of that painful memory. I find this especially cruel to bring up considering it's obviously a regret for him that he's been trying to rectify tonight and she knows that. He brought her the extra corsage explicitly because he felt bad he screwed up the corsages at their prom. Harley gets complimented on her dress and Patrick makes a snide remark about how he doesn't want her friend to think he's attached. Why is Harley accepting this treatment? Why are we supposed to think this dynamic is funny? This is not who Pacey was or is and it makes me mad that this show is pushing this. Joey sends Patrick for drinks but Pacey, recognizing that Harley is hurt, compliments her and builds up her self-esteem. He invites her onto the dance floor. Patrick sidles up next to Joey expectantly but she's not having it. He flirts with her by asking if she wants to join him for illicit underage drinking under the bleachers and she tells him no and walks away.

Dawson is excitedly setting up movie posters in his old bedroom. Gail comes in and asks him what's up and he says he's revisitng his youth for inspiration. She looks less than thrilled with this and asks what he plans to do for money. He says that living at home is fairly inexpensive which is why he moved back and she asks if he plans to not contribute to household expenses. Dawson looks shocked that he'd be asked to pay anything but like, Dawson, your mom is a single mother raising a baby right now. She doesn't need another baby to look after right now. You're a fully grown adult who's had jobs, help your mom with bills. Dawson offers to get a part time job and babysit Lily for free which is certainly a start. Gail isn't getting at that though, she's thinking more long term in case directing doesn't work out. He looks genuinely puzzled at the prospect that directing wouldn't work out. 

After a commercial break, we find Dawson at his computer and staring at a blank screen. He keeps trying to type but nothing comes out. He writes Open with... but it goes nowhere and I call a shenanigans on his line to Pacey about how he'd written 20 pages already. There's nothing there. What did he write? Shouldn't he at least have an opening to a movie done? This is my bash Dawson portion of the blog because he really sucks and I'm mad that they're going to make Pacey some kind of villain despite warning Dawson of the risks and Dawson naively just thinking it will all work out. Dawson gets up and leaves and we cut to the next scene.

Back at the dance, Harley is dancing with some guy who is prattling on about himself. She doesn't care though because she is very obviously staring at Patrick with a psychotic look on her face as she giggles at whatever this guy is saying to make Patrick jealous. I hate this. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, especially at this age but it feels really gross for this show to make it so blunt like this is what functional couples do? Patrick acts like an ass to her and she purposely takes joy in making him jealous? Yikes.

Harley is being way too obvious for this to work

At the punchbowl, Joey and Pacey banter about the punchbowl and other prom things. Especially theirs where Pacey has blocked it out and Joey says it's because he was a dumbass. Look, I get it, he absolutely was a dumbass but this is definitely not boding well for the whole, not bringing up old traumas thing. He's trying to make up for it and she's clearly continuing to punish him for it. Not healthy but also super inconsistent with what happened before this. Pacey agrees he was a dumbass but a lucky one because he gets a second chance. Joey gets all uncomfortable again and says they should be keeping an eye on the kids.

Speaking of the kids, Patrick is wrestling with the random dude Harley was dancing with. She's telling him to get off while Patrick yells about her being his date which is rich coming from the ass who didn't want her to say he was her date because he wanted his options open. This is such a shitty idea to push onto a young audience, that a guy treats you like crap when he likes you. This is toxic. If someone treats you this way, dump them. Anyway, Pacey thinks it's funny but after Joey gives him a death glare, he pulls the boys apart. Harley makes fun of his fighting and he defends it by saying it's krav maga just like J Lo used in Enough. The dude then mocks him by calling him Patty from the Block which makes both Pacey and I chuckle a bit and Pacey tells Patrick he walked right into that one. Patrick swings to hit the dude but clocks Pacey in the ear. Pacey pulls them apart again.

Joey is helping Harley who is crying in the girl's bathroom. Why is she crying? Her stupid non-boyfriend boyfriend beat up some rando she danced with to make him jealous. Shouldn't this be mission accomplished to her according to this show's idea of women? Joey tries to tell her that she looks good with runny mascara but Harley is more worried about where Patrick is, if he asked about her and if he's with other girls. Joey points out that he's in the boy's bathroom with Pacey but Harley says that's where they had their first kiss. 

Pacey is talking to Patrick about his shitty grand gesture of which I wouldn't call a grand gesture but he at least gives the good advice to skip the beating and just tell Harley he likes her. Patrick makes a crack about how Pacey isn't The Rock and Pacey shoots back that he can grow facial hair (but he shouldn't).

Harley can't believe she's crying in the girl's bathroom but Joey thinks this is just a thing all high school girls do. I did not have that experience and I am perfectly ok with this. Harley thinks her experiences shouldn't be the same as Joey's but Joey says it's the way high school dances go. Buy the dress, mess with the hair, hope you date says all the things you want them to but they don't and you end up in the bathroom crying. Bleak. Also, Pacey said all the right things. Sure, he wasn't technically your date at the time but he did. Dawson ruined your dances too. I feel like this is weighted almost entirely on Pacey and the prom and yes, that was awful but let's not pretend that Dawson was the knight in shining armor at dances. He sucked most of the time. 

We go back to Pacey and Patrick and he confronts him about liking Harley. He finally admits that he does. Pacey tells him that true feelings for a woman is one of the best feelings you can have. We go back to Harley and Joey as they discuss the downfalls of being women. Harley asks what teen boys have to suffer through and Joey says that it's thinking they're going to have sex and being sorely disappointed which is not that bad. Guys still get off light in this universe that Joey has concocted. Pacey tells Patrick to be nice to the girl he likes if he likes her and then they eventually fall into play fighting. Harley asks if all her dances sucked and Joey confirms (screw her, I still swoon at Pacey's I remember everything" line. In spite of Dawson's antics, that would still have been the greatest night of my teenaged life if a guy I liked said that to me). Joey then admits that this dance has been nice which irritates Harley since she's having a bad time. Joey then walks in on Pacey and Patrick play fighting. She asks if everything is alright and then smirks when they say they are. Patrick asks why he should listen to Pacey. Pacey points to his date and Patrick immediately wants to learn more from him.

I'm still confused how we're supposed to buy that
Pacey and Patrick are anything alike

Jen comes in to tell Grams that her doctor called. A Dr. Loomis which is funny because Dr. Loomis is a character in the Halloween franchise. Michelle Williams was in Halloween H20 which was produced by Kevin Williamson. I am nothing if not full of useless trivia. Anyway, Jen mentions that Dr. Loomis is not her regular doctor. She demands to know what's going on and Grams fesses up in a rather season 1 cold Grams way that they're an oncologist. She has a tumor in her breast that has spread and she needs to start chemotherapy since it's progressed beyond the point that surgery would be effective. Look, this story hits really hard for me because my grandma was also named Evelyn and she died of breast cancer. She opted not to get a mastectomy and just do chemo, it spread and worsened and she died. Grams, I know that it's hard but get the mastectomy and do the chemo, please. I know she's fictional but this just hurts, it dredges up all the pain of losing my grandma unnecessarily young. Jen is crying but Grams seems almost annoyed by this, scolding her for not doing as she's told and turning down the oven for her. She then snaps and says that she'll do it herself, leaving Jen alone and crying. Yikes. I don't like this return to cold Grams.

Brace yourselves because the writers are about to punch us in the gut, as if Grams having breast cancer wasn't enough of one. Joey finds Pacey outside and they both comment on what a great night it's been, even with those crazy kids. He leans in to kiss her and she pulls back, telling him she can't do this. Ouch, that's the first dagger in me. Pacey asks her what she's even talking about and yeah it's confusing for the viewers too because she seemed very on board to the point that I don't believe she'd be saying this had Eddie not shown up. That feels cheap. I get it, people in real life can absolutely change their minds but in the world of fiction, it's really important that you set it up for the viewer and I feel as blindsided as Pacey. Pacey doesn't know where this could go but he feels like this could be it but Joey tells him even though everything has been perfect, she just isn't feeling it. There's that second dagger and you can see Pacey feels it too. Pacey puts his entire heart on the line, saying that she makes him want to be great and that even when he was scared of everything, he was never scared to love her. Joey pleads with him to stop and then finally blurts out that Eddie came back. There's that final dagger, directly into my heart. Pacey's too because he gives up the fight. He understands, she's chosen Eddie over him and he leaves her alone outside. This sucks. This was so unnecessarily brutal and I think I definitely actively hate Joey right now. In real life, she'd owe me nothing but as arguably now, the main character on this show, she is very hard to root for.

Dawson is in his room trying to write again but can't so he turns on his movie from season 2. Gail comes in with some coffee and a sandwich since he's working into the night. You know, even though she's trying to get Dawson to think realistically, she's still very supportive. Dawson says that he doesn't have a second plan because he's going to be a director. Gail tells him the story of how Mitch was going to start his own chewing gum and made a mess of the kitchen as well as getting gum stuck in 5 year old Dawson's hair. She tells this story to show that Mitch was a dreamer like Dawson I guess but it kind of shows us that Mitch is kind of flighty. Dawson offers to watch Lily for her and she agrees and tells him to jump off the metaphorical cliff to start his directing career. Dawson looks at a picture of him and his friends and then inspiration hits because he begins writing again.

Jen confronts Grams and says it's ok to be scared. Grams thinks that it doesn't do any good to be scared. Jen then offers to help her but Grams only wants to focus on her baking. Jen finally says that she wants to help and she mentions that Jack does too but we don't get to see him. I miss Jack. Grams doesn't want either of them to be involved because it's her problem and she'll deal with it. Jen wants to know what about her? Grams is dying but Jen is the one who's scared and Grams finally realizes that she's not the only one affected by this and tells her that this isn't a death sentence. Jen wants to talk about that then, pleads to talk about something and Grams breaks down too. She hugs Jen tightly and tells her that she's not ready to die yet.

Finally, the Jen and Grams dynamic I'm used to
Excuse me while I wipe my eyes

Patrick and Harley have made up and are dancing but I really don't care about these two. Moving on, we have Joey sitting sadly at the bleachers. Pacey's hand reaches out to her, inviting her to take it. He says he owes her a dance. They walk onto the dance floor, sadness and awkwardness permeating the entire scene. As if our hearts weren't broken enough, they give us this last twist of the dagger where they dance and Pacey once again leaves her alone without a word when they're finished. 

To make matters even worse, the writers decided to not only twist the knife but twist and then yank it violently out as we then get Joey excitedly getting out of a cab at Eddie's house. She knocks on the door and he answers. She says he probably wonders what she's doing there and before he can say anything, she kisses him. He looks surprised but then goes with it and we end the episode on this final fuck you to Pacephine shippers everywhere. Was anyone rooting for this? Did anyone want her to pick Eddie over Pacey? This was useless, needless and mean and worst of all, it just ruins any chance of them getting back together. I'll be honest, at this point Pacey deserves better. Joey kind of sucks as a partner. When she was with Pacey all she did was worry about Dawson and now she ditches him for Eddie. Why? Who knows? The text sure didn't convince me he was some great love in Joey's life. He kind of sucks. So, to the viewers, she ditched this absolute gem of a guy to be with this fucking guy who belittled and talked down to her all the time. I hate it. 

I wish I could say things will pick up from here but they won't. Next episode is Lovelines and it means I have to endure Adam fucking Corolla. Words can't express how much I hate that man but I'll save my ire for next recap. Until then, happy Halloween!