Dawson's Creek - 612 - All the Right Moves

 Original air date: January 22, 2003

So, last week we learned how much Eddie sucks and he's only going to get worse this episode, brace yourselves. Also, I'm starting to really dislike Audrey and I was an Audrey defender last season. She was a fun character and it was nice for Joey to have a friend. Now they barely interact and Audrey is a mess of a person. I'm not sure what the writers were hoping to do with this story but it's not really working. Let's get into why but first things first: what have they done to my girl, Jen's hair?

Her hair! They massacred her hair!

Moving past this tragedy, we open the episode in Hell's Kitchen, where the gang, minus Dawson are hanging out. As it should be. They stop their fun talking and laughing when Audrey walks in. The look uncomfortable and Audrey launches into her apology. I have to say, even the first time I heard her apology, it rang really hollow to me. It's what they're going for but I just didn't get how everyone forgave her so easily when her apology is so...devoid of specifics. Like yes, she says she behaved badly and that she pushed them away and that maybe the problem was her and not everyone else but she did some real damage to everyone here. Not one specific apology? Not, Jen, I'm sorry I slept with the guy you liked and then treated you like shit when you still tried to help me. Or sorry, Joey, I know I was hard on you for not being around all the time but I shouldn't have mocked your boyfriend or aired your family drama in front of everyone. I don't know, it's the same as last episode where she did mention the crash to Dawson but never really apologized for what she'd done. How is that house getting fixed? Is she paying for it? She should. It just seems like she vanished, kept getting drunk, and is now back expecting things to be better and everyone is buying this? Meh. I guess it's sweet that everyone is hugging her but I'm not feeling the forgiveness bug, it feels too easy.

We cut to next day or maybe later? Not sure but Emma is ogling the new bartender. Joey joins in to Emma's shock but Joey is a bad girl now, she's lightly less prudish than people think. Emma asks her what happened with Eddie and Joey blusters about how she wouldn't know because they were never really a thing and were just a fling. We know she's lying but Emma buys it and asks if Joey wouldn't mind cleaning out his locker. She would do it but she wants to cut out early and their boss wants the space. So, here we learn that Emma isn't the boss, despite being the one to conduct interviews and hiring Joey. It honestly makes more sense but not really how she was set up when first introduced. Joey reluctantly agrees to clean it out and Emma says it should be easy since if there was anything of worth, he would have been back for it. Fair.

We're back with the stock bros and Rich asks to talk to Pacey. He says that they have been invited to a big party that is thrown by Roger Stepavitch who Pacey tells us is the founder and owner of Stepatech Industries and one of their clients. Rich is impressed and says that he has been told to bring one of his most promising up and comers and he's chosen Pacey. Pacey is stunned and flattered but confused why he's getting the honour. Rich insists that it's because he's a team player and asks if Pacey can be a team player. Pacey rambles a bit and Rich asks him to give a yes or no answer so Pacey says he accepts and looks very excited about the opportunity. 

Audrey walks down a hallway where a bunch of girls are standing outside. I forgot where this was and, for a second, thought she was going through what Joey went through with Wilder and she was trying to talk to a professor but he was sooo hot, there's a line up of girls. (Has that ever really happened? This plot happens a lot and feels very much like a male writer's fantasy). I was wrong though, she's at Emma's apartment and these girls are "Courtney Love Rejects" because Emma and the band are holding auditions for a new lead singer since Audrey became a drunk mess and disappeared to California for over a month. Audrey is sad because she's their lead singer and then she looks even more disappointed that they booked a gig at a really cool and well known place to open for a really cool band that Audrey likes. I am a dumb dumb when it comes to music so I don't know if Loud Milk (band) or Bent Elbow (venue) are real or made up for Dawson's Creek. I choose to believe they're made up because they sound ridiculous. Audrey launches into her speech which sounds almost identical to the one she gave the gang earlier in the episode and it sounds even more fake and rehearsed this time. Like, fake in a way that the character is doing it not fake that this is all fiction. My guard is up and I already feel like Audrey is just going through the motions. She is also easily forgiven here which means she's not yet done screwing up and letting people down. Didn't know there was farther down to go than driving a car through your supposed friend's child hood home but we're not yet at rock bottom for Audrey. 

Joey is going through Eddie's locker and diligently throwing stuff out while looking miserable. She then pulls out a big envelope where she sees an address listed in Worcester. I'm guessing it's his parent's house as you'll recall, he comes from Worcester and his dad worked there in the No Doubt episode. She pulls out what's inside and finds a manuscript titled "Greetings From Worcester, Short Stories by Eddie Doling" and then a rejection letter. Don't tell me that the man got exactly one rejection letter and gave up, crying? 

The band is now at the Bent Elbow, practicing. Audrey actually sounds like a competent singer now that she isn't drunk. She's singing Bad Times by Hissy Fit. I've never heard this song, I'm not a music nerd that knows deep cuts. Everyone is enjoying it and she catches some rando dude's attention. The guy approaches Audrey after the set and asks if she likes to have fun. He asks if she's heard of his band, Satan's Tampon and she laughs and says no which is the only appropriate response to a name like that. He looks a little flustered but still invites her to their tour bus for a party. So, yup, Audrey is going to fuck up again, confirmed.

Joey is tutoring Harley in math. I feel like the only thing writers ever absorb from math is this one formula because it's literally the only thing ever said whenever any character tutors someone in math on a show or movie. "It's easy, a squared plus b squared equals c squared!" Trust the formula. That has honestly never meant anything to me but I know the quadratic formula thanks to tv. They say it like it helps with every problem you come across in math. Oh yeah a squared plus b squared. Easy. Please never ask me to maths. Harley is also annoyed and would rather talk about anything else. She asks how Joey is doing after all the Eddie stuff and Joey insists that she's fine. Harley thinks they should track him down but Joey says she already knows where he is, probably, because of the address and phone number on the envelope she found. Harley insists Joey call it. Joey puts up a bit of fight but is easily convinced to dial the number. Eddie is the one who picks up, which confirms he's perfectly fine, he just fucked off. Joey hangs up without saying anything.

Can we be done with him yet?

At the big fancy party, Rich is showing Pacey around and they're schmoozing with people at the party. Rich eventually goes off to talk to a woman, leaving Pacey alone. Pacey is immediately approached by a woman who wants to hide from some guy who's playing grab ass with her. Solid choice of savior because not only is Pacey a shining example of what men should be, he's also hella cute. He introduces himself and she has heard of him, which is interesting. She starts poking around about how young he is and asks if he's new at this and what lured him here. Pacey thinks she works for Stepatech but she doesn't and then she mentions Rich. Pacey assumes she knows Rich but she is cagey. Pacey tries to ask what she does but she dips out, saying the guy is gone. He says he doesn't know her name and she playfully says he'll have to try harder than that. 

Heston comes in to Hell's Kitchen and demands to know where Harley is. Joey doesn't know because she's not there. Heston says she cut school again and is worried she's a delinquent but Joey thinks she's fine, just working through some things. Eventually, Harley comes in all cheerful like nothing happened. Heston is relieved but wants to know where she was. Harley says she was running an errand and then adds that it was in Worcester. Eddie then comes in and things get silent and awkward.

Audrey is on the bus, partying. She does turn down some alcohol but then ends up taking some anyway and automatically takes a random pill that was offered to her and swigs it down with some alcohol too. So, I know Audrey has to screw up as per the planned story but do bands actually party BEFORE their sets? This guy is also an opening act for Loud Milk so why would he want to get messed up on drugs and drunk before he performs? I don't really think this makes sense but I'm more square than SpongeBob so maybe this is totally the rocker lifestyle. What do I know? All I know is shit is definitely going to go down.

Eddie is hovering around Joey, who is busying herself and ignoring him which is insanely fair. Eddie gets pissy and asks if she's going to keep ignoring him or can they go somewhere and talk? You have got a lot of nerve, buddy but pretending like she's being unreasonable when you ghosted her is some bullshit. Heston wanders over to talk about how good the buffalo wings are and to ask for more root beer because, I guess he's like comic relief? Joey tells him to ask the bartender and storms off. Heston then thanks Eddie for giving Harley a ride but tells him that the next time she shows up on his doorstep, he should shut the door and stay the hell away from her. I don't get it, Heston would rather his daughter wander around alone in what this show says is a bad area of town? I mean, he is a parent where the show actually acknowledges is terrible so I guess this checks out. Eddie backs away from Heston and goes back to pestering Joey. She tells him that if he wants to talk, he can go ahead and do it so Eddie proceeds to put his whole foot in his mouth by saying that he wants to "help her deal with this" with this, in this case, referring to her pregnancy. Joey is understandably, even more pissed because she realizes that the only reason he came was because he thinks he knocked her up and not, that he finally realized he acted like a tool. She tells him she's not pregnant and that she wouldn't tell Harley if she was. 

He notices his stories and she confirms they're his that he left behind with all his other discarded things he didn't care about. Note how he never once refutes Joey when she's clearly saying that she feels like he threw her in the trash. I know she doesn't explicitly say this but it is very obviously what she's insinuating. Eddie has the gall to act like she's being unreasonable and accuses her of "sending her minion to come after him with a lie." Joey shoots back that if he didn't want to be found, he should have maybe covered his tracks better and he asks her if she's the one who called and then hung up. Joey denies it and he then has the gall to condescendingly say that it makes sense that she did because she was mad about the way he ended things. Joey tells him that he didn't end things though, he just ran off like a little chicken. She tells him that the mystery is solved, he's clearly fine so he can go. Eddie then has even more gall to say that he left "for her." I'm glad she doesn't buy this and asks him if he's dying and when he isn't she flat out tells him he did it for himself. I cheered, let me tell you and then I immediately booed when Eddie whines about how hard it was for him. Awww, was it hard for you to move out of your apartment and not have an adult conversation with your girlfriend about it? Was that hard for you? Poor baby. He leaves and Joey tells him to go but then decides she isn't done yet and follows him outside. She asks him why and he flakes for a bit but finally admits he was ashamed because he's a broke, no job, no school, nobody who was rejected one time. Joey points out that they said he has promise but he thinks they say that to everyone. Eddie is like Dawson in the worst way but Joey and the show are trying to convince us he's like Pacey in the best way and no sir, I don't buy it. Eddie's ego is so fragile that he got one rejection letter that said he had promise and gave up. Do you know how many rejection letters writers get? Stephen King was rejected when he was starting out, multiple times and let me tell you, you mostly get a form rejection. If someone took the time to say you have promise, they want to see more from you when you've improved a bit. But it's just like an entitled ass to just assume the world will be handed to him on his first try and then cry when it doesn't happen. Eddie says that Joey can have whatever she wants in this life and Joey pathetically answers that she wanted him. This was supposed to be romantic but I don't understand why they think this is a grand love story. There is no outside thing keeping them apart, other than his insecurity that she's going to be more successful to him because, let's be real, that's really his issue. He's running and he's manipulative and emotionally abusive and I hate him. Joey would do really well to let him go. He says that she wants the guy she met in English class, which isn't him and then leaves. This should have been the end of this train wreck but alas.

At the Bent Elbow, it is the Hell's Belles turn to open up and Audrey is wasted. She stumbles up to the stage and starts singing the same song as before but really badly. Honestly, it's about as good as that time she sang California Dreaming but everyone pretended that was good. This is her tanking though and her bandmates are pissed as they have to keep playing when she's sounding terrible. 

Back at the fancy party, Pacey is listening to rich guys banter about money stuff when he sees the mystery girl again. Rich comes up to him and Pacey asks if he knows her but she's turned around so all he sees is the back of her head and he does not. He pulls Pacey to a private room to talk with Roger Stepavich who is, holy hell I forgot about this. He's played by the one and only Ray Wise!

Watch out, Pacey. Ray is here to steal your soul
Unclear whether it's literally or figuratively at this point.
It's Ray, it could be either.

Look at that lighting, so sinister. You only hire Ray Wise if you want a gruff father, an evil father, or straight up the devil, so you know he's not going to be good. They are talking business. Roger asks if Pacey was surprised that Rich wanted him to take a more prominent role, handling their account. Pacey is shocked and Rich gets a bit of an oh shit face and quickly says he hasn't told Pacey yet. Pacey is taken aback by the offer of being the lead on their account and says he's a bit green as he just passed his series 7. Roger then also looks confused. This isn't looking good. Rich quickly says he's shocked by Pacey's attitude so Pacey does a 180, thinking he's screwing up Rich's deal and says he's fully capable. They all shake hands and I'm John C. McGinley in Platoon because I've got a bad feeling about this, Sarge. Pretty sure they're setting Pacey up to take the fall on some bad financial dealings. 

Harley is worried that Joey is mad at her but Joey assures her she isn't. She just asks Harley not to go off telling guys she's pregnant anymore, which is very fair. Joey tells her that Eddie left and that the thing that sucks is his stories are really good but he's given up and now he's going to rot away in Worcester. I don't understand why she cares. Let him rot. Harley suggests showing the stories to her dad but Joey is very against it since Heston doesn't like her or Eddie. Harley convinces her to and she asks Heston to read them. He's actually into the idea when he thinks they're Joey's stories and says he's crushed many a dream but she tells them they're not hers and shows him the manuscript. He refuses outright when he sees they're Eddie's stories which, as much as I dislike Heston, is completely fair. He leaves and Joey is discouraged. Harley takes the papers and says she'll work on her dad. Joey tries to give her backpack to her but she just smiles and leaves it.

We get another scene at the Bent Elbow where Audrey is slurring through two songs mixed up together. Not a mashup, she's clearly just forgetting what song she's singing. She jumps into the crowd to surf but everyone is booing their band. Emma and the other Hell's Belles are pissed. Backstage, Emma hands Audrey some water and asks if she's feeling better. Emma then fires her from the band. Audrey tries to drunkenly give her spiel about being drunk on a beach in Malibu again and that she can do better but this time, Emma isn't buying it. She offers to call her a cab so she can sleep it off but she's still out of the band. 

Heston finds Joey to ask for Harley's backpack, which she returns. He also says that he was coerced into reading some of Eddie's stories and found they had promise, even though they were a bit overwrought and derivative. Joey is excited and hopes he'll send them to a publisher friend but Heston says he's not ready for that. So, Joey thinks he'll pull strings at Worthington and I'm so bored with this. Why does she care so much after he treated her so poorly? What does she care what he does? It's up to him to figure his shit out, Joey. Anyway, Heston mentions the California Writer's Workshop and that he might write a letter of recommendation for Eddie to get him in. Joey is ecstatic but not so much when Heston says she should tell him. She wants Heston to do it but he's like, I don't care that much. If he's interested he'll write the letter, if not he doesn't care which is entirely fair. I know they like making him the dick and he is but in this episode, he's mostly been right. Joey sighs because she's going to "have" to face Eddie again but I'd argue, she doesn't have to at all. She could easily email him and say what she wants to say and leave it up to him. But this is TV so we know she's going to talk to him in person.

Back at the fancy party, Pacey is happily waiting for his car to be brought to him via a valet outside. The woman walks out too and we still don't know her name. He asks again but she deflects, asking him about how it was a big night for him in there. Pacey agrees and smiles happily but she's here to burst that bubble. She mentions seeing him go into a private office with Rich and Roger and then guesses that he probably got offered a big promotion and a raise. Pacey asks if she's a reporter but she doesn't answer. Instead, she gives him something ominous to think about: why has this all been so easy for him? She wishes him luck and leaves. Uh-oh. Ray Wise is up to his usual no good. Let's just hope he's not Satan this time. 

Audrey stumbles into her and Joey's dorm room. She grabs some alcohol and starts chugging it straight from the bottle. She sees herself in the mirror and looks a bit disgusted with herself. She then pours out what's left and tries to throw out the bottle but it smashes on the floor. Then, she drops down on the bed and passes out. 

Joey shows up at Eddie's parent's place. He answers the door and she hands him his stories. She then tells him she gave them to Heston and that he said he could get him into the California Writer's Group. Eddie is a little mopey she gave his stories to Heston and then worries about the cost. Joey tells him there are ways he can go, financial aid or scholarships but the point is, he needs to try. She chews him out for giving up on them and urges him not to give up on life. She turns to leave but then turns back and flat out calls him a coward because he talked a big game at the beginning about taking chances and living life to the fullest and accuses him of giving her a line because he just runs. She asks him what he's going to do and he kisses her. To Joey's credit, she pushes him away and tells him that was the wrong answer because she meant that she wanted him to not give up on himself and that it's too late for them. Eddie doesn't want it to be over and says he loves her and Joey says she loves him too but then says bye and leaves. I'm so proud of her. I know what comes next but this was honestly the best moment, her just calling him a coward and firmly telling him it's too late to get her back. Why couldn't we have stuck with this? 

I wish to god this was the end of this.
This should have been the end

Joey gets back to the dorm and sees Audrey asleep on the bed. She walks in and finds the broken bottle, which makes her panic. She goes to Audrey and tries to wake her but she is out cold and we fade out on that nice little cliffhanger. This episode definitely wasn't terrible but it was a bit of a slog. Not much really happens and we don't get Jen or Jack at all which is sad. Plus side was no Dawson though. Audrey is tiring me out with her storyline but the writers are committing to this. It just feels weird to focus so much on this when we've barely developed our mains this season, outside of Joey and, to a minor extent, Pacey. 

Will Audrey survive or is she doomed to die tragically like Abby? We will have to wait until next episode's recap, Rock Bottom to find out. Just a couple more episodes to go until I get to Castaways. Just a few more episodes until I get to Castaways...