Dawson's Creek - 610 - Merry Mayhem

 Original air date: December 11, 2002

I'm so excited for this because Dawson's Creek has never really done an official Christmas episode before. They kind of did a holiday party in season 4 where we got the pretty Joey and Pacey picture but this is the first real Christmas episode. Holiday episodes can be fun and this one gives us the pleasure of the whole gang together again. I love seeing them all hang out. We all know this won't go well though because drama so lets get right to it.

We start out the episode on a Christmas miniature display as Joey narrates which I really hate. I hated it in the first episode and I hate it now because this is not a narration show. It feels out of place. Not only that but what she says pisses me off. She talks about how she's a simple girl but that she is cursed. Boys either fall too fast, too hard, or not at all. Who didn't fall for Joey? Who? Even Jack fell for her before he realized his sexuality. What is this curse business? The best guy in the whole show loved her. I'm sorry but I just can't get behind her thinking her love life is cursed. I know they all ended, I get it but I think what really pisses me off more than her complaining about boys loving her too much and too quickly. Gee, that must be hard, Joey. Boys love me, they're super into me and hot, my wallet's too small for my fifties,  

At this point in the show, Joey just grates on my nerves with stuff like this

What gets me even more annoyed is that she says that Eddie, fucking EDDIE is the guy that she thinks has broken this curse. She gave up the idea of a functional relationship but that faith has been restored by Eddie. I can't even with this nonsense. Eddie has been condescending and playing weird mind games with her since he met her. This is not a healthy or functional relationship and guess what? This episode itself goes on to prove my thesis. Joey is asking Eddie about what he prefers and regretfully, I agree with every single one of them and I hate that I have so much in common with Eddie. Joey has nothing in common with him, then again it's surface level stuff like dessert, drink and holiday preferences. It's not that big a deal and I will go on loving my Chocolate, pies, coke, and Halloween peacefully. Joey then asks Eddie if he wants to join her in Capeside for Christmas, then freaks out that she asked it because she's not supposed to be an annoying girlfriend who pressures her boyfriend into family dinners and then she freaks out that she called him her boyfriend because she's not supposed to use labels and just. Joey, honey, for all your posturing over how relaxed you are going to be with this relationship, this is not you. You are a boyfriend/girlfriend girl. You are a commitment girl and that's totally fine. But she seems to be bending and twisting herself to be a version of Joey that Eddie could like and I hate it. We are witnessing Joey change herself to please a guy who doesn't really care that much about her. I actually think that, for as assholish as Heston was, he was kind of right on the money with Eddie pursuing Joey to validate himself. Case in point, Eddie just accepts her apology like she made the correct choice in retracting her invite but doesn't address how Joey clearly wanted him to but worried about freaking him out. He just ignores that. Joey, realizing her self-conscious banter didn't work and states more firmly that she wants him to meet her family and convince her sister to get a real tree rather than a fake one. She actually calls her sister the R-word which is a huge yikes. Man that word was bandied about so casually back then, I'm glad we've stopped that, as a society. Eddie thinks her invite is too much too soon and she teases him about being a typical boy but this really just shows how not matched they are. Joey is clearly in this way more than Eddie and it's going to keep showing up again and again. 

Joey is in her dorm room when Audrey traipses in, annoyed that she has missed her flight. She was letting "Willy Loman types" buy her drinks at the airport bar. Men! With your...sales! Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Anyway, Joey makes a pithy comment about how it's a bit early to knock back drinks, even for Audrey. Joey is a really shitty friend to Audrey this season and I hate it. You'd think she'd be more concerned and way less judgmental. Audrey just says she'll fly out on Christmas but Joey thinks that's not a good idea and invites her out to Capeside with her. Audrey rejects this several times, saying that flying on Christmas sounds better, Capeside was boring as hell, and that she doesn't want to be a Christmas charity case. Joey mentions that her father will be there which surprises me. I know we found out last season that he got out of jail but we also found out that he was not in contact with Joey and her sister. I know she showed up at his place of work but we didn't get to see anything come of that or hear anything about her father up til this very moment. It's jarring is all. Audrey wants to ask about prison and Joey says that's ok but I feel like maybe her dad wouldn't want to talk about that at Christmas? It's a weird thing for Joey to give permission about. Audrey agrees to go and then takes a secret swig of alcohol when Joey goes to the bathroom.

Pacey pulls up to the Witter household in a fancy but boring car. I liked the car he had last season, it was so much more Pacey. I'm not the only one who notices the lack of mustang and it honestly hurts to hear that he traded it in for this boring, over priced lameness. Especially since his father gave it to him. Pacey's father sucked but he was starting to show something of caring for Pacey and he said he was proud of him. I wish more was brought up about this, there should have been scenes between Pacey and his father regarding this. I wish there was but alas, we just have Dougie here. He thinks Pacey looks smarmy but Pacey thinks he looks handsome and then makes a comment about Dougie being gay. Pacey then asks for help bringing in a bunch of gifts, it's very clear Pacey wants to show off how successful he is but Dougie is only uncomfortable. Even Pacey knows he's making the world shittier but has been conditioned to view earning wads of cash at any cost means you're successful. I hate that for him and the whole world, tbh. 

Pacey is perfect without the fancy car and gifts

Dawson is decorating the tree when Natasha kisses him on the cheek. I'm surprised we went from Dawson suspecting her of cheating to him inviting her home for the holidays but wait, I'm sure the drama will reveal itself. Natasha thanks him for inviting him home and says his mother is a trip. She kept grilling Natasha who just said she's going to bang Dawson which is a nauseating thought for a lot of reasons. Apparently, he's brought Todd with him too and he's drunkenly hitting on Gail so Natasha goes to rescue her. Gail comes in to tell Dawson that Natasha is a trip. She asks if they're serious or just in a casual sex thing which is not a conversation anyone wants to have with their parent. Dawson skirts answering but also admits that he doesn't know and he doesn't think he has a choice in the matter. That's dark. Apparently both Dawson and Joey are in these relationships that don't want to be defined and clearly neither are comfy but they're going along with it anyways and that's sad. You do have a choice. It's ok to want to define things, you're not any less cool than the other person. You just have different boundaries and views on relationships. I may not like Dawson but even he deserves better than to be in a relationship that makes him uncomfortable. Gail doesn't give him this advice though, instead she remarks on how weird it is that her son brought home a movie star girlfriend and his director boss and thinks Mitch would have gotten a kick out of it. Gail, your son just confessed he's confused and unhappy in a relationship, please help him with that. Todd and Natasha come out with egg nog so Gail retreats back into the kitchen. She invites Natasha to join her and talk about Max Winter, I'm sure to Dawson's utter mortification. Todd then asks if he can "have a go" at his mom. Dawson is not amused.

We then get a little montage of scenes, Dawson, Gail, Lily, Natasha, and Todd are in the living room, chatting by the fire place. Jen and Grams are in church together, Joey and her crew are decorating the tree while Audrey sulks by a window. We then cut to the next morning where Alexander rushes into Joey's bedroom to wake her up for presents. Joey wants sleep which I can totally relate to. Her dad comes in and tells her that someone is waiting for her outside. She asks who it is but her dad doesn't know. Joey looks confused. She goes outside to find Eddie, who has a real Christmas tree strapped to the roof of his car. She smiles happily and I'll admit the gesture is kind of sweet but I still deeply dislike and distrust him. He told her he wasn't coming to keep her expectations low but now has shown up for an easy win. You may think I'm being uncharitable but I actually liked Eddie and thought this was romantic on my first viewing so my read of this scene is definitely clouded by future events but also? My read on him has changed so drastically because I didn't know how to spot dysfunction and red flags as a teen/young adult. I know now and he is waving so many red flags and Joey is also behaving in some not good ways which even gave me pause when I first watched. 

Audrey is going through the Potter's bathroom while drinking alcohol. She is clearly already drunk so this is not going to make things any better. She comes out and asks where Joey and Eddie are but calls them Tony and Maria. She laments about how she's been ditched for him once again which is honestly completely legit right now. She was invited as Joey's guest and now Joey is going to be only focused on Eddie which I get, honeymoon stage and all but it's a shitty thing to do to your friend. Mr. Potter asks what Audrey thinks about him and Audrey says that he's working class, has a chip on his shoulder but that Joey seems to like him. She then says that he incorporates the best qualities of both Pacey and Dawson and excuse you? What are these best qualities you see? I see none of Pacey in this guy, unless you count that they both come from working class families and he only has Dawson's worst qualities, ie being emotionally abusive. He's the worst of both worlds. Audrey then asks Mr. Potter about prison and as I predicted, he doesn't look entirely comfortable with this.

Joey is outside being all clingy on Eddie. She asks why he changed his mind and he admits that he missed her. Joey jokes about how he'd better get going since he doesn't want to hang around the intersection of too much, too soon, for too long. There's a hint of sassy Joey but it doesn't last because they start to kiss. Mr. Potter interrupts them and tells Joey to help Bessie in the kitchen. He starts to ask Eddie about where he's going to school (he doesn't) and where he works (he doesn't). Mr. Potter, understandably, doesn't look impressed. Eddie tells him that Joey is great and Mr. Potter agrees with a look that says, too good for you and look, he's not lying. Normally, over protective dads bug me but in this case, I can't fault him. Eddie sucks.

You're right to be suspicious, Mr. Potter

Dawson is in his room when Natasha busts in and is eager to do some sexing since everyone else is preoccupied and the guests aren't due to arrive for an hour. She's totally down to do it in his nerdy Steven Spielberg shrine of a room but he's not really feeling it. To her credit, Natasha picks up on this right away, stops and asks him what's up. Dawson tries to say nothing but gives in and says he was thinking about Max Winter and how she lied to him. Natasha says he's gone and forgotten and doesn't get why he cares. Dawson says it bothers him and he points out that she was super jealous of Joey. Natasha blames a bruised ego for that and says she was being over dramatic. But we were there, she was hurt, it didn't read to me like bruised ego and she liked that Dawson was jealous in the Halloween episode. She then asks Dawson if he's on his period when he tries to tell her it bothers him and just ugh. It made so much sense to me that Kapinos wrote this episode. Natasha, as a complete concept, has never been clear to me. She's a big movie star but also Dawson is the one that took a chance on her and gave her a big break. She's a horrible drama queen but her anger was justified. She really likes Dawson but now it was just an ego thing. This doesn't ring true to me. Dawson accuses her of getting a perverse thrill from screwing the help which justifiably pisses Natasha off. She throws it right back at him saying he gets a perverse thrill showing her off to his friends and family too and that he could have slept with her in his lame childhood bedroom but now has no chance so he should have thought with his little head instead of his big one. This reads very much like a guy wrote it because I don't think most girls would complain about a guy actually thinking with his head for a change.

Joey and Eddie are heading to Dawson's place. He asks if it will be weird for her but Joey says it will but it's ok. She's hoping for a nice civil dinner and then they can get out of there for some alone time but Eddie is hoping for some dessert, namely pie. Eddie then mentions that he'd like to spend some time with his family and before he can ask, Joey says yes. He promises his family will be much less intimidating which concerns Joey. She asks him if her dad said something to him and he backtracks saying he was fine and it's all good. Joey doesn't think so and reiterates that if her father was rude, she wants to know. Eddie says he was great and that they should just go inside. Joey doesn't look convinced. 

Pacey and Doug drive up to Dawson's house. Pacey asks about the palm pilot (the cool thing before touch screen phones) he gave his dad because he didn't seem to like it. Doug says he was overwhelmed and that they all were and Pacey's response is to give Doug another gift. It's a nice watch which Pacey says can replace his old one. Doug likes his old watch. Yeah, sometimes new and expensive isn't the point. Sometimes, people like the things they have. Doug asks Pacey if his work is on the up and up and Pacey reacts rather poorly. He gets mad that his family can't just be proud of him but honestly, from Doug's perspective, I get it? Pacey was a cook, now he's showing up in a Porsche with expensive clothes and gifts for everyone and it's like, how did you get so much money so quick? Doug points out that it's too good to be true. Pacey accuses him of being jealous and Doug says he might be or he might just be worried about him.

Audrey is now rifling around the Leery's bathroom cabinet and finds some pills. She takes a couple and then staggers back into the living room. She asks where Jack is and Jen asks if she's drunk. Audrey admits she is and says it doesn't tell her where Jack is so Jen says he's in Europe with his father and Andie. That's nice but I miss Jack. And I wish we could have seen him in Italy with Andie (unfortunately we wouldn't be able to see their father though but at least we could have gotten them together). She sits down where Grams was going to sit which is rude. Gail asks Grams to say Grace but Todd volunteers even though he is also super drunk. His drunkenness is for comedy though whereas Audrey's drunkenness is a problem.

Todd gives an extremely drunken and rambling speech which is not funny at all and just really uncomfortable to sit through. He recognizes Jen because remember that throw away joke where he hits on her in an airplane? He asks if they had sex but Jen laughs and says no, which is the appropriate response. Todd continues by thanking Gail for Dawson who he loves because he's a great assistant or something. Then he talks about how Dawson got with Natasha which reminds him of when he hooked up with someone but she was underage and so we don't talk about that and just how was this such a normalized and ok thing to joke about on tv? So gross. Dawson tells him to wrap it up and we're spared that only to get to Mr. Potter who wants to congratulate Dawson for how far he's come. Dawson thanks him but then Mr. Potter asks if they can get Eddie a job, since he's looking for one. Todd is all cool with this idea but Eddie says film isn't really his thing and thanks Mr. Potter for thinking of him. Mr. Potter asks what his thing is and Joey tells him to stop it because he's being a dick. The awkward is really heating up quick now. Audrey pipes in, wanting to ask another question about prison and then actually asks why he thinks Eddie isn't good enough for Joey which is a solid burn. Joey tells Audrey to stop which does not go down well, honestly I don't think Audrey's initial burn against Mr. Potter was bad either. However, shit doth be hitting the fan now.

Audrey snaps at Joey to which Pacey mutters sarcastically and Audrey tells him to shut up and accuses him of jumping on a high horse if anyone dares mess with "the one that got away." Now Jen is piping in to tell Audrey to cool it and Audrey turns into a mega bitch, bringing up how she slept with CJ and sarcastically apologizes. Gail tries to diffuse the situation by asking Audrey if she wants to lay down but nope, Audrey wants to fully burn all the bridges in this room. She calls Dawson and Pacey out for hating each other but pretending to get along, she calls Dawson and Joey out for sleeping together and then not dealing with it (so very true), then she calls Pacey out specifically for not getting over Joey, who broke his heart and tells him to grow up. I take umbrage with the fact that people keep saying Joey broke Pacey's heart or that she ended things. We all saw what happened at Promicide. Pacey did the heartbreaking, the humiliating and the pulling away. Why does this show keep revising what happened? Why is it so determined to make Joey into this heartbreaker? They did the same thing with her and Dawson, making it seem like she dumped him for Pacey which she absolutely did not. Anyway, Audrey is now done her rant, calls them scum suckers and then leaves. 

Audrey steals some keys off the counter while everyone is still reeling from what happened. She goes outside to Pacey's brand new Porsche, starts it up and immediately crashes it into the Leery's living room. Everyone goes to see if she's ok but she just staggers out of the car saying she zigged when she should have zagged and then flops down on the Leery's couch. Yikes. 

That's one way to end a dinner

Back from a not commercial break, Doug is angrily storming out of the house because Pacey is asking him to make this all disappear. Pacey says it's the only thing he can do to help her is make it all go away but like, I think I'm on Doug's side here. He says it would be better for her if she did get in trouble and saw some consequences for her actions. I don't want to see Audrey go to jail but like, she stole car keys and crashed into the side of a house, she should be doing something to rectify this. She should be paying for all damages. I don't understand why Pacey wants her to get away with this or how he thinks it would help. He thinks Doug is ridiculous for thinking she should face consequences so Doug agrees to lie as long as Pacey takes the fall. Pacey readily agrees and Doug lays into him about the whole stockbro make over he's undergone and then adds that he should have told him that he was proud of him last year when he was a cook. However, I hate that he says that he'll tell everyone it was a new car and Pacey lost control of it, which everyone will believe because he is a moron. Pacey's family is so terrible to him and it sucks because that is exactly the reason he's burying himself in this rich lifestyle in an attempt to get you guys to see him differently. You're the cause of this, Doug. 

Audrey is lying down in Dawson's bedroom where Jen is actually watching over her, not Joey, her supposed friend. Jen wants to know if she's ok but Audrey just keeps being terrible to her. She accuses her of only helping to impress CJ who isn't even here and Jen says she's just trying to help her. Audrey accuses them all of posturing because they only just realized something was wrong (not true) and that they don't actually care (not true). I find this weird, not that it wouldn't happen in real life, people lash out all the time when they're going through things but it honestly comes across here as a bit abusive of her to blame everyone else. Like Pacey wasn't the cause of her depression and neither was anyone else, she has depression and it's a dangerous message to send that it was everyone else's fault she is this way. Audrey isn't fully to blame either, to be clear. To be even clearer, I don't mean about the car tonight or choosing to get drunk, I mean she's not at fault for having depression, she didn't cause herself to get it and she can't just be rid of it. I'm not sure what the writers are trying to accomplish with this storyline because it's doing a really poor job of showing what depression is or even calling out when certain behaviours from it are toxic. It feels like our characters are supposed to be chastened for letting Audrey get this bad or not noticing but I don't think they should be. It's not up to everyone around you to get you help, you have to get it yourself. Everyone around you should be supportive of course, but you're only going to get better if you do the work. No one else can fix you. They honestly tackled mental health issues better with Andie, then here. This feels like they really don't understand what it is to suffer from it or be surrounded by it. Audrey needs help but she is not entitled to treat everyone this shittily just because she's hurting.

Dawson finds Natasha with her bags by the front door. She's leaving for LA and says he was right about everything, she slept with Max Winter. Dawson says that's great but I'm not sure if he meant that sarcastically or not. She apologizes for being reckless with his emotions and that she doesn't love him and never did. This feels very cynical and out of nowhere? Just narratively, it really seemed like she liked him a lot. Maybe not love but this feels like a really angry man's idea of what a hot woman would be like. Soulless and happily breaking a nice guy's heart because she wants to sleep around. I don't know, sure Natasha has always been written as being brazen like this but I just don't buy how not caring she is when it seemed she really did care in the beginning. Dawson says he doesn't love her either but it sounds more like he's saving face than coming to a realization. Natasha agrees he doesn't and says she needed to end it now so that she doesn't ruin him. This all feels gross. Very justifying of NiceGuytm ideology. But, I guess this is it for Natasha.

Eddie asks Joey if all her Christmases are like this and she jokingly says they normally smoke crack and worship satan. He then tells her that she shouldn't come back with him to meet his family which is an entirely dick move to rescind an invitation like that. Joey is understandably hurt and says she's not expecting him to be together. Eddie says it was all too much, too soon and says that they have to live in the here and now. I need to stress that this is the moment, even in my first watch, that I started to not like this relationship. I know now that it's because Eddie is being hella manipulative but what really set off my alarms, even when I didn't understand how this stuff worked, was Joey's immediate change from hurt to desperate "ok, we'll do that then. I promise." I don't know if this is what they intended, I don't think it is, but wow does this moment come off like Eddie is successfully manipulating Joey. He keeps appearing and sprinkling little bits of niceness and then he yanks it away and makes this big deal about how SHE pushed things too fast and her father was mean so now she just caves and tries to make him feel better by saying that they'll do this relationship on his terms. What about what Joey wants? How is she supposed to be in charge of what her father does? It's not wrong that Eddie is uncomfortable with her father, he was a dick, but it is wrong that he's using this as a way to get what he wants. I can't believe Joey is fine with him being rude enough to invite her to his family's place and then disinvite her, I don't care that he gave her a sob story about how his parents would also think she was too good for him and I certainly hate that he said Joey would break his heart. I hate it more knowing what's coming. This asshole. This fucking guy. I hate him.

What were you saying about broken curses?

Joey finds Dawson on the dock and goes to talk to him. They joke about how they slept with each other and then Joey apologizes for never talking to him after that. They agree that if Audrey had managed to hurt everyone, they would be sad that their last conversation was the one in the dorm room...or the one at the movie set...or the one awkward time at the coffee shop. They've talked since her dorm room is my point but I get what they're saying. Joey finds it easier to shove it all away while Dawson goes over every detail to figure out how it all went wrong. How am I like both of them? I both avoid and over analyze things to death and it sucks. Anyway, Joey says she spends a lot of time trying to forget they ever meant anything to each other which is a huge ouch for Dawson but he thinks he deserved that. Again, I'm not really sure why he thinks that he deserves this much hatred from Joey over what happened. Natasha forgave him and she would have been the one getting hurt the most, had Joey not found out and torpedoed everything. They joke around a bit more about how much they hate each other but then both admit they don't hate each other and hang out by the dock as we fade to the end of the episode.

That was certainly a Christmas. I find it sad that of the few real Christmas episodes we get, this one turned out so depressing but also convoluted? I mean, we have drunk destructive Audrey, Natasha claiming to have never loved Dawson, Jen getting ripped apart for trying to help a friend, Eddie being a dick to Joey and her just taking it, Pacey taking the fall for Audrey while getting utterly destroyed by his brother. It's very depressing. I know this show is a drama but man, you'd think they'd give us something more nice at the end. A little more hopeful? I guess we get a Dawson and Joey sort of reconciliation but man, everyone else is screwed and I couldn't care less that those two made up. I'm concerned with how much Joey is changing herself to be with Eddie too, she doesn't seem herself when she's with him. I guess we'll have to find out where this Eddie thing leads with the next episode Day Out of Days.