Dawson's Creek - 605 - The Impostors

 Original air date: October 23, 2002

We are finally here, we are at the episode where Audrey sings a punk cover of California Dreaming and it does not disappoint in its bizarre hilarity. I am pumped but this also means we are officially entering her train wreck phase which is kind of sad. I like Audrey as a character, I just don't like her and Pacey as a couple, they just don't ring true to me. 

We start the episode at Hell's Kitchen, where Joey is waiting impatiently to place an order with Eddie. I think we're supposed to think Eddie is ignoring her and flirting with other girls and sure, he's chatting with them longer than he should but ultimately, he is serving customers which is also part of his job. Emma shows up and gets a beer from Eddie so Joey asks her for help. She suggests letting her rip up her t-shirt a bit because it would do wonders for her tips but Joey is aghast because she thought Emma said tits. She leaves and Eddie finally comes up to Joey. She snarks at him so he says he feels intimidated by him since she rammed her tongue down his throat. Joey is embarrassed but I have to say, he's not wrong. Joey's kiss came out of absolutely no where. It's like she thought she was recreating the moment with Pacey in season 3 but failed to realize that those two had chemistry and had grown close whereas she and Eddie seemed to hate each other and he was in the middle of mansplaining her reasons for not liking On the Road when she kissed him. Joey, girl, you want Pacey just admit it. Emma interrupts their squabble to say she's off to rehearsal because she's going to debut her band at Hell's Kitchen soon. Ok, hang on let's go to a side bar.

Ok, I don't know why I never questioned this before but who the fuck is Emma? Who is she supposed to be? Like from the fact that she hired Joey, I thought she was a manager or owner of Hell's Kitchen. Let's say she just manages the place but still, she seems to be the main authority. She is also an exchange student though. So, she runs a bar, owns a big two-story apartment, goes to music school, and now also has a band. HOW? How does she have time and money for all this shit? How rich is her family? Where did her connections come from that she scored a really nice apartment and a bar gig in a different country? I just don't get this character at all but maybe it gets explained later when she has the whole green card drama and I'm just completely forgetting what that explanation is. I guess we'll find out together.

Until then, Emma is a bigger mystery than the writers
desperately want us to think Eddie is at this point.

Emma leaves them both and tells them to kiss and make up. Joey gets super pissed that Eddie told her but he claims he didn't and that it was just a coincidence. Joey thinks he did tell her to embarrass her but he tells her she's doing a good job of that herself and I agree. Joey has a bad habit of just making things worse for herself by being so aggressive and obsessive when things don't go her way. It's kind of funny.

We next find Dawson in a different bar looking for Todd who is sitting with Natasha and drinking. Natasha dips as soon as Dawson comes near them which is super relatable, to be honest. Todd wants to leave too but Dawson manages to entrap him with boring work talk. Todd isn't here for it but Dawson says they need a plan B for shooting on Friday. He says that they're 3 days behind with no shot list on top of that when Heather shows up again. Remember Heather? She appeared last season and now seems to be more in charge than I thought she was before which is awesome. Todd looks panicked and mouths 'help' to Dawson who has his own problems since he has to try to get a better room for Heather from a booked up hotel.

Pacey and Audrey are studying in Emma's apartment and she seems decidedly unimpressed by Pacey smiling at her. If that man smiled at me, I would thank the heavens but yelling at him also works, I guess. Pacey says that it's the first time he's seen her open a book this semester and Audrey takes offence that he takes this to mean something is wrong. Something is wrong but she's not wanting to talk to Pacey about it. Pacey even asks her if something happened at the party but Audrey claims nothing happened and that Jen is a lightweight and not much of a party girl. She saved you from a dangerous situation, Audrey, show Jen some respect. Pacey agrees to drop it though but also starts to put the moves on her. Audrey is tired this time and Pacey looks affronted and accepts it and Audrey looks maybe a bit disappointed that Pacey drops it so easily? Also, Pacey acting mighty offended for someone who was also avoiding sex for being tired. They are not working and I feel like Pacey was just going through the motions to get her back because Joey told him he should and he didn't want to disappoint her. That is my theory and I'm sticking to it. 

The next morning, Emma comes down to find all the coffee gone and Pacey asleep in a chair with books open. She wakes him up because there is no coffee and Pacey quickly yammers about how easy it is to stay up before she loses it and he shows her the extra can of coffee grounds they still have. They then hear the shower turn on and Emma gets upset that it's Audrey in there. Pacey tries to claim it's Jack but Audrey starts singing California Dreaming, so Pacey is caught in his lie. Emma tells him to talk to Audrey about how often she's over here but Pacey has to dip out for work and tells her to do it. I love Pacey so much but no. That's not Emma's job. Emma goes to tell Audrey to get out but hears her singing some more and gets an idea face.

Jen and Jack are in Freeman's class and she wants all the details about what went on at the party. Jack asks her what happened to her but Jen says she went nowhere and quickly switches the subject back to Jack and Freeman. Jack says nothing happened and he wouldn't want it to but Jen doesn't really believe him. Their papers are being handed back today and Jen turns hers over to find she got a B and is super stoked. Jack turns his over to find a C- which confuses him and me too. If you'll recall, Freeman praised his paper at the party so the grade does not match up with that. Sus, very sus.

Joey is walking along the campus and sees Eddie putting up flyers for Emma's band. She offers to help him but he's in no mood for her today. She tries to apologize but he tells her not to back down because Heston will eat her alive. I didn't see it as her backing down but it seems to be Eddie and Heston's mission this season to convince Joey that her very normal boundaries with people are actually weaknesses she has to overcome. This is worse than I remembered. I thought I liked Eddie near the beginning but no, he always sucked. Joey asks if he's going with her to the library but Eddie isn't and leaves her to hang up posters there.

At the movie set, Heather is not pleased about how production is going. Dawson and Todd try to butter her up with an omelette but she's not here for that. She's here to fire Natasha because they hate her and think she sucks and it just hit me that we have a storyline on Dawson's Creek where Whitney is trying to fire Carver and doesn't that just sound very plausible?

It's funnier to me when I think of it as Whitney trying to
cut Carver from the cheer squad just because she's annoying

Dawson does not want to hear this because, I don't know he feels bad that he fucked her over and she still got his job back for him? He thinks she's the perfect horror movie heroine because she's smart and sexy which feels really gross. Men really thought they had a handle on what makes a good female character. I want someone compelling, if they're pretty, fine but if they're not compelling then I'm bored. Your movie hinges on how charismatic and engaging your lead is and I feel like a lot of Hollywood movies have failed because crusty old white guys can't move past tits and ass being selling points to horny old men like them. That's not all you need to sell a movie, if your movie sucks, no amount of tits or ass will save it. Stop thinking like this, please. Sincerely, a demisexual who is so very rarely sold on looks alone. Sorry, that line just bugged me and they're trying to sell it like Dawson is some noble hero who is going to save Natasha's job, ugh.

We go back with Jen and Jack where she is just as confused about his grade since he's been working so hard. Jack goes to talk to Freeman and even brings up his party remarks so Freeman is like, oh yeah well your ideas are cool but your structure is a mess and suggests some books he could read to fix that. Jack realizes that he's being condescended to and goes to leave but Freeman isn't done yet. He tells him a c minus isn't that bad and how Jack did say he wasn't a motivated student. Jack is like, I also said I was trying this year so Freeman says that his expectations are too high. Wow, fuck this dude. So, instead of the dreaded student/teacher relationship are we actually getting a look into power dynamics and why a  relationship like this does not work? I'm interested but also side-eyeing the choice of having this be gay characters. It feels like it's pushing the gay predator stereotype which is also harmful. This show just does not handle these things well but I have not found a teen show that does do it well yet.

Todd is yelling directions at people and talks to Dawson about Natasha. Todd is all for firing her if it means keeping his own job and he reminds Dawson that his job relies on Todd. Dawson doesn't want to fire her and says that he can't yell at her because it will destroy her confidence. I will say, I do like that they are at least attempting to make Dawson be a reasonable presence on the film set. Like I'm getting the vibe that he would be a director that at least tries to make actors feel comfortable on his set so good on him for that. Todd is obviously your typical white male Hollywood director who treats actors like props, women like cattle, and throws his weight around because he wanted to date the cheerleader in high school but couldn't. Todd runs off somewhere leaving Dawson alone.

Dawson decides to find Natasha, who is in the dressing tent and he walks in on her completely topless. It's very apparent that we're supposed to see Natasha as boobs and I don't like it. Dawson averts his gaze as she gets dressed. Natasha knows Todd wants to talk to her and it's not good. She's really nervous about nailing her scene tonight. Her friend is dying and she doesn't know what to do so she asks Dawson's advice. Girl, you don't know how to play someone who's friend has died? In a horror movie? Like, be scared, be sad, be vulnerable, try to escape. Maybe she should be fired. Seems like that's something you would have picked up on when reading the script. Dawson tells her not to think just act and basically do whatever Todd says. I don't like it but Natasha seems happy with this advice. She thanks him and goes to prepare for the shoot.

Pacey is on the phone delivering a smooth sales pitch to a potential whale, I assume. Audrey comes in and everyone acts like she's violating some massive rule or something. Is it weird when someone visits someone in an office? Like, it doesn't happen every day but sometimes people have friends or partners meet them for lunch and most people are just normal about it? These guys act like they've never seen a woman before. They even tell Pacey to get a room when Audrey is literally just talking to him. It's probably that this office knows they're a scam and want as little public in there as possible. Pacey even seems embarrassed by this and quickly pulls her into a meeting room to tell her she shouldn't be here, like he could get in trouble for having a guest. Audrey quickly tells him the big news that she's been asked to sing for Emma's band. She's going to premier with the band at Hell's Kitchen that night and begs him to be there. Pacey agrees to as long as she leaves and let me just say that Audrey holds up her end of the bargain here. I may not like them as a couple but Pacey is dropping the ball a lot and it's not ok. He should be smart enough to realize he's not that into Audrey. 

Joey is giving a presentation in class on Lolita and Heston's on a real asshole campaign today. He tells her that she's boring them to death and then asks her about some part of the book where Humbert is called away and comes back to find Lolita playing tennis. He asks Joey to tell everyone what kind of tennis they were playing and Joey can't answer that part so he claims she hasn't read the book. I have not read Lolita but can someone tell me how this little trivia game proves Joey didn't read the book? Does it inform us of the books themes? Does it inform the characters? Or is he just trying to get Joey to regurgitate facts about the book, in which case, that's probably why he's bored. Eddie knows that they were playing doubles so Heston makes some snotty comments about how Eddie always knows and then tells Joey to get back to boring them. Eddie tells Heston to chill the fuck out because he's making Joey more nervous and it's unnecessary. So, Heston turns on Eddie and asks if he's getting teaching critiques. I mean, he absolutely should be getting teaching critiques because he sucks. Joey wants to get back to her presentation and tells us that the doubles thing is actually important which is odd because she didn't seem to know they were playing doubles so, does Joey suck at this or is she just forgetful? Anyway, Heston seems more interested in bullying Eddie this week, asking him about some Russian writer who disappeared. Eddie says that it's because the Russian writer never existed in the first place. Heston then says that he was a shade, a shadow or whatever and insinuates something about Eddie. Joey, the class, and I am confused as fuck about what is going on. Eddie understands and he leaves. Joey says she'll continue her presentation in a minute and runs after Eddie. She tells him that they have to go back in because he can't let Heston get away with whatever happened in there. Eddie says she doesn't understand or know what happened so she should just let it go and mind her damn business. So, I think part of the intrigue about Eddie was the mystery around him? He's exciting and different and Joey has to figure him out but really, he's just a gigantic asshole. Why should Joey care to figure him out when he's mostly just belittling her?

Forgive me if I don't find arguing particularly engaging or hot

Joey is asking Emma about Eddie but he's not working that night. Joey wants to know if he lives on campus but Emma is like, why would he live on campus? Joey suddenly figures it out and asks if they have a record of his address in the back. Emma confirms and Joey thanks her, saying she'll close tonight and wishes her luck on her gig. Emma says she has a surprise for her too which intrigues Joey.

Heather is not impressed with the footage and is ready to shut everything down. Dawson is panicking and asking Todd to stall. Todd is suspicious about who's job he's trying to save but Dawson says he's saving everyone's because if they have to shut down because of Natasha, it may never start back up. Todd agrees and Dawson tells Scott the editor what to do to fix things. Heather and Todd argue over the fact that he apparently brought her to Bermuda only to dump her for an exotic dancer? Todd points out that she's engaged now but she's decidedly not impressed with this whole thing. Todd points out that she singed off on Natasha too but she says she only did it because she thought he could get a performance out of her. Dawson says they did and shows her the newly cut footage that's more about close ups. Heather is appeased for now.

Jack is waiting outside Freeman's office to confront him about the grade once more. When Freeman finally gets to him Jack goes for it and flat out asks if his grade would have been higher had he not been so shocked by what Freeman said to him, the night of the party. Go, Jack! Stand up for yourself. Freeman pretends to be offended at the question but Jack stands his ground and says that if he asked again, he might say yes to get the better grade. Freeman launches into a speech about how not everyone is willing to be all political and become part of the despised minority so Jack asks him who is doing the despising here. Jack then leaves his paper on the desk and leaves the office like a boss.

Audrey is asking Jen if Pacey is out there and Jen can't tell because of the crowd. Jen tries to ask her about the night they got drunk and Audrey says in a really snotty way that she doesn't remember that night. Man, every time Jen tries to be nice to girls on this show they just shut her down so rudely. Emma comes in and tells her that they're ready to go on. She compliments Audrey's fake piercings but says that if she screws this up, she'll kill her. Pleasant. 

Audrey introduces the band to the crowd and launches into a punk rock rendition of California Dreaming which is uh. Well, it's as bonkers as I remember but also, how can I put this in the nicest way possible? Dan? Can you get this one for me?

This gif has come in so handy. Thank you, Dan

Yeah, it's very cringe, I don't care if it's not cool to say that anymore, it's accurate to describe this scene. I felt embarrassed for Busy while watching this. I literally shrunk into myself, I cringed. I'm not the biggest punk fan and I know that songs aren't supposed to sound pretty but woof, this is rough. It sounds like this style of singing isn't really something that Busy is used to so the screeching is not very committed and I'm worried about how her vocal chords were after recording it. It takes a lot of talent and vocal ability to scream sing without damaging your entire throat. So, I did not enjoy it but everyone else seems to think it's cool so yay for the Hell's Belles (that's the band name). And kudos to Michelle for politely smiling through the whole thing like she was having a good time.

Joey arrives at Eddie's apartment and he's less than happy to see her. She tries to talk to him but he's not having it at all. She tells him her presentation went ok after he left but I don't know why she thought he'd care about that and he really doesn't because he sarcastically says that she's on her way to winning him over but then says it would be easier if she just slept with him. Joey is affronted that he assumes she wouldn't understand and he continues being a jerk to her. This was productive, glad Joey travelled 2 hours from campus to do be yelled at. Not saying she had any right to insert herself but I'm still finding it hard to believe that this is the guy they want us to be invested in as a love interest all season.

Here we come to a scene that was completely excised from streaming because I guess they couldn't get the rights to Audrey singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. We also lose Joey finding Jen and being shocked at Audrey being in the band and finding this out. So we go from Joey leaving Eddie's to just being in the crowd and clapping for Audrey as she finishes singing a non-descript song. I think Girls Just Wanna Have Fun was the stronger singing song for Busy so that's just mean. Then again, maybe it was just as shrieky and unappealing as California Dreaming and it's a blessing to her that I'm just remembering it better.

Audrey leaves the stage glowing about how amazing they were. Emma is trying to be modest but then agrees they rocked and is clearly happy. Both Jen and Joey find Audrey backstage and congratulate her for doing awesome. Audrey is super excited and asks where Pacey is but the girls exchange uh-oh looks and Audrey's face falls. Look, I don't like their relationship and I may have created this whole narrative in my head that Pacey doesn't love Audrey the way he did Andie or Joey but this doesn't excuse him from being this insensitive. He knew this was important to her, he should be there, full stop. And if he's this distracted and uninterested in her, he should break up with her. Don't string someone along like you're doing them a favour. It never ends well.

Heather is now extremely happy with Natasha and pretends to love her but Natasha can see through the fakeness. She asks Dawson if she was in danger of being fired but he won't say. She still knows she was because she can tell Dawson is lying. She feels like her hiring was a fluke or just flat out luck rather than talent and reveals she was ready to give up acting altogether when Dawson talked to her. She asks him why he did and he says, and I quote, "you were the only hot girl in the room who looked like she might have actually read a book at some point in her life. Natasha finds this charming, I find it insanely insulting. Why do guys make cracks about women not reading when the largest demographic of readers is fucking women. I've met more men who refuse to open a book than women. Shut up, Dawson. Natasha wonders if Dawson was just chatting her up and he was but he also thought she was perfect for the part. I like this story but from the set up of her character, I thought she was some big name actress but this seems to be her first role? Like why did they think she was difficult and why would she have acted difficult if this was her first role? It just makes it more obvious that she was pissed at Dawson rather than her being bitchy being her character. I'm still pretty firm on my #TeamNatasha stance. We've got a lot of season left to go so that could definitely change. She and Dawson make plans to hang out and she goes to change for her next shot.

Audrey thanks Emma for the big opportunity but Emma doesn't want a hug because Pacey might enjoy that. They head inside Emma's awesome apartment which is also right across the street from Hell's Kitchen we learn, and find Pacey asleep on a chair. He slept through the whole thing because he kind of sucks here. Pacey realizes he missed it and swears he was just coming up to change but is very clearly not in the bedroom and still wearing his business suit. He wants to make it up to Audrey but she just wants a ride home. You done fucked up, Pacey.

Joey is closing up the bar when Eddie comes in. She's not pleased to see him and asks what he's doing here. Eddie says that he knew she was closing and thought she could use help so Joey throws his own words from earlier back at him about why he'd think he needs help and how condescending it is that he assumes she needs it. Eddie explains that sitting in on the class was an accident. Some kids came up to him talking about Shakespeare and he followed them to class or something. I don't really care, to be honest? The mystery behind Eddie is super easy for me to solve, he's an asshole. And he keeps belittling Joey which needs to stop. Man, I thought this was the season of insufferable Joey but honestly, I'm mostly feeling protective over her. It's like the writers took my notes from the mugging episode and how everyone LOVES Joey and went, ok let's make everyone shit on her then. The problem is, that they're making her love interest shit on her and the framing is that Joey needs to toughen up. Which I think they were trying to give her that as a flaw but if there were one thing Joey Potter didn't need to improve, it was toughening up. She's always been tough. She's always stood up for herself. Heston and Eddie are just straight up assholes and they are wrong. They treat her like she's dumb and we know she's not. She was always shown as studious, hard working, and fucking smart. This is the girl who did an extra credit assignment because she got a 98 and not a 100 on her assignment. She is not the character you want to do a "she's meek and a fuck up" story about because she's not that at all. It's honestly annoying that they're doing this to her. And I know I'm going to be extremely annoyed when Joey tries so desperately to hang onto this motherfucker because she's told off other guys for doing less to her. Why is she so ripe for Eddie's abuse? I don't like this one bit and I don't find their exchange here cute. Fuck you, Eddie. 

Freeman finds Jack and hands him back his paper. His grade has been changed to a B and Jack asks Freeman if that's supposed to make things better. Freeman apologizes for letting his emotions get in the way of his grading but Jack can smell an excuse coming and calls him out. I am here for Jack standing up for himself against this guy. Much better direction for this storyline. They argue about how hard it is for him to come out versus Jack but Jack isn't buying into the pity party. He straight up asks for a TA to grade his papers from now on and Freeman agrees. Jen comes up and asks Jack what their little teacher student conference was about and Jack says he was just trying to straighten out his grade. This makes Jen remember that maybe she shouldn't be shipping Jack with a teacher that gave him a C- and he seems clearly upset about. She asks if he was able to fix it and Jack confirms by saying it's perfectly straight but we know he's talking about how closeted Freeman is. We at least get to end the episode with the best characters being besties. 

I really missed their friendship last season
and I'm so glad it's back

Well, that was a ride. I like that, so far, they are not trying to make the Jack/Freeman thing romantic and I really hope they keep it that way. My memory is way more foggy than I thought because I completely forget what happens there. I also forget a lot of what happens with CJ and everything else is a blur. I remembered Audrey's performance but not quite how awkward it was. It was a treat seeing it but too bad they had to remove a scene because they couldn't get the rights to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It was a pretty nothing scene but it gave a bit of info and showed Joey arriving to the concert. The harsh edit made it look like Joey teleported from Eddie's to the bar. I am hating the whole Eddie thing more than I thought I would. I swear I remember being into it up until the first break up but no, he sucks. He just always sucked and it's going to make me even madder when a certain thing happens but that's a rant for another day. Next up is Living Dead Girl which means that Audrey's about to get a lot more wrecked.