Glee - 222 - New York

 Original air date: May 24, 2011

We did it, dear readers. We reached the end of season 2 after what felt like an eternity! Only...four more seasons to go. Oh god. Pray for me. When we last left off, Quinn had big plans. BIG plans. And the gang was heading off to New York with plans to write their songs on the plane because they don't understand how high school show choirs work. With that in mind, let's get into the recap.

We start on Rachel, looking out over Times Square where she declares that she made it. I love this moment but like, you're here with a show choir championship, you didn't "make it" yet. Still, it's cute.

Look how happy she is

The gang is sitting around a fountain and talking about what they want to do while they're in the city. Finn thinks they should really get to writing their songs. I'm sorry, did he just say they are literally in New York city for their National competition and they don't have any idea what their songs are even going to be??? Why did they do this? Why didn't they at least say they have to practice their songs since they just wrote them? Not great but better than not even having anything ready. This show will end me. It almost ended me the first time I watched it and yet I decided to do this and now my compulsion to finish won't let me stop. We get interrupted by Rachel who has bought tickets for everyone to see Cats on Broadway. Quinn informs us that Cats closed 11 years ago and I'm sorry...Rachel should know this. She is the insane musical buff of glee, how did she get tricked like this??? How does Quinn know more about musical theatre than Rachel? This does not track and is just bad characterization.

We cut to inside their hotel which is on Times Square so that shit must be expensive as hell. Will says they could only afford two rooms which means...he's sleeping with the kids? They're splitting things up boys and girls but the hostess says other show choirs are splitting by sexual orientation. I don't think that works because then what, you've got girls who identify as lesbians with straight boys? Because that won't make the girls uncomfortable. We segue to Brittany talking about how New York was built on top of Old York and then to Rachel asking Finn about how Quinn is taking the break up. She is taking it well which surprises Rachel because usually Quinn is, a vindictive harpy. 

Rant time. This show wants us to hate Quinn so fucking much and I just don't get it. Did they seriously think they could have Finn dump Quinn at a funeral, ask if she has any feelings at all and expect us to hate Quinn? She's the vindictive harpy? When Finn has been the one dumping girls only to then become a violent and jealous oaf the minute they move on from him? No, Quinn is the woman therefore she is the vindictive harpy. Tell me this show is written by men without telling me this show is written by men: Quinn Fabray's treatment. 

Case in point to my above rant, Finn immediately questions Rachel about Jesse. Like dude, this falls under the category of none of your fucking business. Rachel is pretty cavalier about it saying she doesn't want to talk to him until they're back because she wants to focus on New York and Nationals. This is your cue to back off, Finn. Will he back off? Most likely not.

Will asks where Puck is and we cut to him at the hotel bar trying to order a Manhattan and Will tells him and Lauren to get in the hotel room now for an important meeting. In the room, Kurt gushes over feeling like Eloise while Will tells them all they're on lockdown until they write their songs. He wants two verses done by the time he gets back. The kids call him out for not helping but Will has to go fill out paperwork but he's really going to check out his new Broadway stage.

We cut to Brittany singing the best song of the episode, My Cup which she wrote herself and it's honestly they should have went with this song, at least it's catchy. I love how they always write a "joke" bad song so that their "actual" songs sound better in comparison. The kids decide that they need to get out of their hotel room and get some real inspiration so they ditch song writing duties to go fart around New York while singing a mashup of I Love New York/New York, New York and it's definitely energetic and fun which this show has been lacking a lot of lately. 

The boys are back in their hotel room and Finn asks the guys if he and Rachel can do a duet and the guys agree saying them dueting is their best shot at winning. Even though they lost the last time they did a duet together, so... Puck asks about the elephant in the room which is that Finn still has feelings for Rachel and should ask her out. Finn thinks she's totally into Jesse now but the guys convince him to go for it since they're in New York and Jesse isn't. Sam says that if he was in love with a girl and wasn't homeless, he'd go for it and my heart breaks for him. He was so into Quinn and Finn destroyed that only to end up dumping her anyway and yet he's still being supportive. Sam is the best character in this show and they waste him.

Next we cut to Will on a Broadway stage singing Still Got Tonight by Matthew Morrison. Hmmmmm, convenient that you get to sing your own song and promote your solo CD to a bunch of Glee fans, Matthew. Also, I don't like it. Sorry, that's mean but it's not my type of music and this feels very cheesy. Especially when a guy comes in applauding him and says that he's seen a lot of talent come to that stage but Will, apparently, has 'got it'. As in, star quality or something and just barf. Also, what was Will's thinking here? Meaning his little Broadway excursion. Was he seriously going to accompany 12 minors by himself to New York and then just send them all back alone and think no one was going to get upset by that?

Finn texts Rachel to meet him in Central Park and to dress nice. She smiles and they meet up on a bridge. Finn claims it's a work meeting and it's supposed to be cute but I hate it. If only because she seems genuinely confused and a bit uncomfortable and I know it's supposed to be her loving him and being torn but it comes off as her really wanting to focus on her singing and telling him that and he is trying to do the NiceGuytm thing of weedling his way in via pretending he's only interested in working. Nah, I don't like it. Respect her wishes and give her some breathing room. 

They end up at Sardi's and I am super uncultured so I had to ask my New York sensate, Zelda if this is a thing and it is. It's a big deal to get your caricature up on the wall and they have unveiling parties. That sounds very cool and it's awesome to see Rachel get to go here and say her dream is to be featured on the wall. Finn tries to do his speech to her but is cockblocked by Patti LuPone and I love it. Rachel fangirls and Patti is very sweet (because this is scripted not that I know she'd be bitchy otherwise I just have a huge anxiety over bothering people in their private time even if I'm paying them a compliment). Patti asks if she's an actress and Rachel says yes before admitting that she's in high school and in town for show choir championships. Patti reveals that she was also in show choir and that it was her favourite class. She then tells Rachel to promise her that she'll never give up. I love this little moment, it's such a great character moment. Of course, Patti also has to whisper to Rachel that Finn is cute because we have to shoe horn in that she should be with this doofus (no disrespect to Cory, I'm sure he was great, I just hate Finn). They're walking down the street and they mention that it's like they're in a rom com and this is the part where the street performers sing to them. Suddenly, Artie, Sam, Mike, and Puck show up singing Bella Notte (from Lady and the Tramp) and I was so confused because it seemed like Finn had this planned and he'd asked them to serenade but like, Rachel doesn't react at all and I was so distracted trying to figure out if the other four were there or not that I barely heard what Rachel and Finn were saying. Basically, he wants to kiss her and Rachel doesn't want to and runs off. Then Puck, Mike, Artie, and Sam disappear so I guess they were in Finn's head? This was a poorly executed scene.

Words cannot express how weird this scene played out

Kurt wakes Rachel up to do Breakfast at Tiffany's and honestly, this scene is so much better than the last. It's not just that I don't like Finn it's that Rachel and Kurt genuinely enjoy and appreciate being in New York so them parading around is fun and feels like watching a dream come true for them. Rachel admits that she's coming back here and wants to attend college in New York. Kurt says he does too and that Blaine is totally on board. Rachel doesn't think Finn would ever come and Kurt says that she'll have to decided between love and a career and no the fuck she doesn't. She can have both, the fact that Finn wouldn't go with her means they are not right for each other. She can find love in New York while following her dreams and I hate that this show pretends that won't happen. Kurt wants to help her decide and he takes her to break into the Wicked stage. 

Once inside, Rachel freaks about being blackballed for life for breaking in. Kurt doesn't think that will happen but they are immediately caught by a security guard. The most lax, doesn't give a shit, security guard ever because he allows them 15 minutes and disappears again. I mean, he probably only gets paid minimum wage so, fair. Kurt and Rachel get up on the stage and Kurt tells her to visualize her dream by singing to a packed house. Obviously, they have to pretend because the theatre is dark for now and they sing For Good from Wicked together. Rachel thanks Kurt because she now realizes that she doesn't have to choose between career and love because the stage is her true love. I mean, she can also find another man, if she wants too but I like this realization, it fits her. I wish they followed through with this.

Oh hey, now we're in the hotel room with Brittany and Santana and they are banging on the bathroom door and telling Quinn to get out. Are we going to find out her big pl-hahahahahahahahahahaaa! Of course not. She comes out crying and Brittany and Santana console her. Oh wait, she does say she should tell Will that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking out but like, that doesn't seem like something she could have planned for in Ohio. Quinn breaks down crying because they're supposed to be popular and she can't find love when all the other girls seem to have it, even Zizes. Santana knows what will make her feel better and although Quinn is flattered, she's not really into girls. Santana clarifies that she means a haircut. Hmm, yeah, so her BIG PLAN was to cry in a bathroom until Santana and Brittany make her feel better by giving her or taking her to get a hair cut. Neat. 

All girls love makeovers, right?

Will is getting chastised about the pillows and he goes to have a drink at the hotel bar. Dustin Goolsby shows up to wish him luck but not for show choir, for his Broadway debut. It's all over the Broadway blogosphere, which means the one blog that cares about Broadway. Oh, so Dustin reads my friend Zelda's blog, confirmed. Dustin says that Will shouldn't tell his kids because it will shake their confidence for Nationals and then goes on about how much he hates his own kids because they remind him of everything he missed out on. Will says he loves his kids but Dustin doesn't buy it and then leaves because Will is tearing up. 

We cut to Will bringing the kids New York pizza which I'm told is good and somehow the kids already heard that he's leaving so...what was the point of Dustin telling him not to tell? I guess because Dustin wanted the honour of shattering their confidence? The kids are actually super supportive but Will decides he's not doing it because he wants to be there for them. I don't get this, it's not like the show was planned at the same time as Nationals. I thought it was explicitly said that it started after Nationals? But Will had his moment on the stage where some guy (producer maybe?) told him he has talent and that's good enough? Anyway, he takes out notebooks and says they have work to do. I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of silly things but my god, writing music and lyrics for two songs, practicing them to have them down pat and choreographing dance moves the night before a competition is ludicrous. It's so out of the realm of believability that it just makes me not feel bad at all that *spoilers* they're going to lose. They deserve to lose, to be honest. This is laziness at it's highest form.

Will has the gall to tell the kids the next day that they have a shot at winning out of 50 teams that have been practicing their set list for months. No, you do not have a shot and honestly, I think they ranked too high in the end. We see snippets of other performers as the rest of Glee club crow about how they've totally got this. Narrator: They don't.

Dustin and Will have an absurd showdown over who will buy who a t-shirt if their team wins. Will says he's buying him a shirt when they win and just...no. No, Will. Stop. You're embarrassing yourself. 

Rachel is in the bathroom when she hears throwing up. She asks if it's Santana but sees Sunshine come out and immediately shames her and her team for being bulimic and I'm sorry but that is a fucked up joke. EDs are extremely serious and it's very damaging to use it in a way that is only used by "bimbos" and evil show choir teams. IF Vocal Adrenaline are all bulimic, that's not due to their inadequacies, that is due to some serious pressure and abuse being lobbed on them by their superiors. I hate that Rachel seems to be on a shaming bent this episode like she didn't also flirt with bulimia in the first episode only to be foiled by her lack of gag reflex. This show and a lot of teen shows seem to have a fascination with bulimia but use it to code inherently "bad" characters and that's super messed. People who have EDs are seriously vulnerable and don't need to be vilified because it's not their ego that makes them turn to an ED, it's their lack of self-esteem and/or their body dysmorphia. Can we please give some compassion to people who suffer from this?

Now that my tangent is over, Sunshine confirms my suspicions by saying that she's stressed and nervous which is why she's throwing up. Rachel thinks she's playing a sympathy card to get her to take it easy on her but Sunshine finally calls her out face to face for treating her terribly. She then says she's fleeing to the Philippine Embassy to escape from Vocal Adrenaline which is a whole lot of yikes. Rachel stops her and admits that she was threatened by how talented she is and apologizes for treating her terribly. This would mean a lot more had they actually developed this storyline beyond the first episode of the season and that brief blip in Night of Neglect but the show's writers are lazy trash. Yeah, I said it. Anyway, Rachel tells her she has to perform to show everyone her gift and that if she gets nervous, look at her and she'll help her through it. They hug and it's sweet but ultimately this all means nothing. I really, really wish they'd focused on this but I'll get to that in my season 2 wrap up. 

Sunshine goes out with Vocal Adrenaline and she performs As Long As You're There which is also an original song and is meh at best. Sunshine is a good singer and did wonderfully it's just not that good of a song. I'm surprised they placed but they probably didn't write it the night before and thus it's more polished, in show universe land. Sunshine does find Rachel who gives her an encouraging thumbs up. 

Next we cut to back stage where Rachel says that Finn wrote a great song which is the biggest lie this show will tell us. Finn doesn't care because he just wants to know if she'll date him and again Rachel says she's interested but she's made up her mind and wants to focus on her dreams. This is your cue to back the fuck off, Finn. Is he going to do that? Narrator: He doesn't.

They perform their duet which is called Pretending and it's not good at all. It's boring, it's sloppily written, plodding. Just the worst type of song to end your season with. Of course, Finn decides that this is the time to kiss Rachel. Not only is this moment just unearned and not romantic, it's also confusing because it's like they want us to blame their loss on this kiss when in reality, the crowd would not care? They play it off like everyone is appalled and falls silent but I think most people would still politely clap and assume the kiss is part of the show. I don't know why they're making a big deal about this.

So, can we agree that these two dueting is actually a recipe for failure?

They then move into Light Up the World which is at least more high energy but is super forgettable. I already couldn't tell you how it goes and I just watched it. Season one gave us Don't Rain on My Parade and You Can't Always Get What You Want and then the Journey Medley along with Bohemian Rhapsody two explosive and memorable closing episodes and season two just ends with a stale fart. There's nothing fun or exciting about this, it feels rushed.

The kids think they did awesome but we all beg to differ. The amount of stones on these kids to breeze into a national championship and just dash some lyrics out the night before in a hotel room and expect to win. Who did they get to play the music? How did they learn it so quickly? Did they record it? With what equipment? This is not how any of this works! 

Rachel thinks the kiss was interesting but Finn thinks it was the kiss of the century, bit big headed of you but ok. Jesse disagrees and calls the kiss unprofessional and says it cost them the championship. I disagree. The shitty songs that they puked out last minute cost them the championship. He compliments Rachel and says she sounded good but that she shouldn't have kissed Finn, I agree. Rachel asks why he's here and he tells her for her to which Finn tells him to back off. Much as I love Groff (Jesse), both these guys need to back off and respect Rachel's boundaries. She's been pretty clear that she wanted her whole focus to be on Nationals rather than boys. They get into a pissing match but they're interrupted because the finals list has been posted. 

They all go together to check the results, and it looks like Vocal Adrenaline placed pretty high but New Directions is number 12. That's way too high out of 50, in my opinion but I am glad the show had them not place. The weird thing is they want me to believe that it was because of the kiss and not because (even though it's impossible) they wrote the songs the night before their competition.

We cut to Kurt explaining everything to Blaine over coffee. Blaine agrees with Jesse that the kiss was unprofessional, so the show really wants us to believe that's what cost them Nationals and not their shitty, shitty songs. Santana loses it at the hotel, speaking only in Spanish and giving her usual spiel about being from Lima Heights adjacent. Then Kurt says they didn't say a word to each other the whole plane ride home. Blaine is confused because Kurt doesn't seem to upset by it all and Kurt says it's because the experience was still amazing. Blaine tells Kurt he loves him and it's my opinion that this is the most awkward, passionless confession of love on tv ever. Not helped by Kurt pausing for a beat too long and looking more confused than happy flustered. 

Sam and Mercedes walk past and they all chat a bit before going their separate ways. Then Sam and Mercedes look back at Kurt and Blaine and she asks if they suspect anything. They then start to hold hands and I don't understand this reveal at all. I get that they went to prom together, as friends but I don't think they interacted that much. It just feels like it's coming out of left field and on top of that...what reason are they keeping their relationship a secret? That only works if there's stakes involved. There's none here. Pacey and Joey keeping mum for a bit made sense because Dawson was standing in their way as an actual obstacle keeping them apart. Who is keeping Mercedes and Sam apart? Why would they need secrecy? What is the point? Nothing. The answer is nothing. No, the answer is that RIB are terrible writers.

Santana is still pissed at Rachel and has a voodoo doll of her that she hopes will work. Brittany says they can't stay mad at Rachel forever and excuse everyone, why are they mad at Rachel and not Finn? Finn's the one who kissed her they should be mad at both of them at the very least. Anyway, Brittany is not upset they lost because she didn't care about winning. Apparently this year was about acceptance for her and I don't buy that for a second. You can't just tell me what this season was about and expect me to swallow it when you were too lazy to really develop that concept. Sure, there were glimpses of it but it was not a solid enough theme to make this abysmal season finale work. Brittany then says she loves everyone in Glee club and they're like family to her. Santana asks how she feels about her and Brittany says she loves her more than she's loved anyone and they confess to being best friends. A bit of a disappointing capper to this storyline but it is nice that they're friends again.

Next Finn and Rachel get their chance to talk. They are embarrassed that the kiss cost them the championship and no the hell it didn't, it was your boring, lazy songs but whatever. Rachel asks him what he was thinking and he confesses that he was thinking that he loved her and wanted to kiss her one last time. She smiles and tells him that she's leaving in a year and is never coming back but Finn asks if she has any plans until then and they kiss. 

The kids make their way to the final glee club meeting of the year. Banners have been hung in the hallway honouring their placing 12th. Finn and Rachel walk into the choir room to be greeted happily by Quinn. And they all celebrate their time together, the end. 

Man, look at that vindictive harpy, smiling and welcoming the
new couple that screwed her over into the glee club again. So bitter. 

What was that? Why did Quinn, of all people, greet them nicely? She should hate that they're together again. What were her big plans? Nothing. Dropped plot. Rumour is that Diana Agron cut her hair and it pissed Ryan Murphy off so much that he just dropped her plotline. I can't corroborate that but I believe it in my heart it's true based on everything I know about egotistical men in Hollywood, in positions of power. Like, it would not shock me that this was true, is what I'm saying. All I have to say is, get over yourself because fans don't give a shit that you're mad. They want to see the stories that you set up, finished. 

On top of that, the songs were lackluster and the episode felt rushed together. It was more focused on being filmed in New York than on finishing the stories they set up in a fun way. I did enjoy Rachel meeting Patti LuPone and I did enjoy her and Kurt exploring New York together, even if the moment int the theatre felt extremely unrealistic. Everything else  was meh at best. Including Will's story arc about going to Broadway only to just give it up for some reason. I don't care that they lost but it's weird to feel like they deserved it instead of being as crushed as they were. I should be on the glee club's side, experiencing this journey with them. Instead, I'm just like yeah, of course you lost. You wrote your songs the night before you performed them. But we've closed out another season of Glee which means we are going to wrap up this season and then move on to season 3! See you then.