Dawson's Creek - 517 - HIghway to Hell

 Original air date: April 3, 2002

I decided I'm going to finish out the end of this season by the end of this year. That is my goal. Then we have fresh new seasons for both shows in the new year. No, I don't need to but my brain has decided that this would be nice so here we are. I am super excited to jump into this episode that is what I like to call, a fanfic episode. No, it was not written by a fan but it reads like something that would be written by a fan, specifically of Joey. Why do I say this? Let's take a look.

We open the episode with Joey walking through her school when Charlie shows up again because this is the early 2000s and everyone loved Chad Michael Murray for some reason. I was not one of them. She and him banter before he gets to the reason why he's stalked her to her school, the lead singer of his band quit and he needs her to sing for a big gig they got upstate. Joey is just that powerful and wonderful a singer that he just has to have her. Did I hit my head and start watching Glee by accident? Because getting someone to sing for your band by the weekend and expect them to be timed with your backing and remember all the songs is bordering on unrealistic. I'm sure there is someone out there that could do this on the fly and be halfway decent but I'm also going to be mean and say Joey is not this person. She sang decent for a college karaoke attempt. Like, she sings as good as me and I could never front a band on the fly. I don't think I could front a band period but that's besides the point. Joey has never really expressed any interest in music. We have two characters on this show who have been written to be very into music, Jen and Audrey and somehow, he wants Joey to front his band. It feels very contrived and I don't like it. Joey says she'll think about it and Charlie assumes she's agreed and hands her a setlist. So, a list of the 5 songs they want to do. What if you guys play them slightly different than she's used to? Shows really don't like to show how much work really goes into being in an actual band. I think Freaks and Geeks did a great episode about this because most people would be so fucking bored to realize you're just practicing the same songs over and over to make sure you have them down for your show. 

This is after they've practiced Sunshine of Your Love on 

repeat for a while and the rest of the band quits

(Also, look! It's Audrey)

Speaking of Freaks and Geeks, Audrey and Pacey are making out in her dorm room but she stops it since she's nervous that Joey will walk in at any second. She is into their make out sessions but tired of having no place to do them. She asks Pacey to get an apartment and he readily agrees since Audrey says she'll be less inhibited there. Pacey leaves and Joey walks in. Audrey excitedly tells her that Charlie called and Joey claims he's persistent. But, if he's still calling, that means she hasn't agreed and also that she hasn't been rehearsing with the band. This performance is going to be yikes. Audrey really wants to go because she's the rocker in this friend group and it's honestly weird that they're giving this storyline to Joey when it should be Audrey's. Unfortunately, Audrey is relegated to best friend role here so she is pushing the main character who is unqualified to do it because they are the main character. Very fanfiction trope, if you ask me. We also find out that the gig is tonight and they have to leave in like an hour to make it there in time. So yeah, there will be zero rehearsal before the performance. Joey thinks Charlie is smarmy, because he is and Audrey points out what I've been saying, that she brought the house down that night but he wants Joey which means he's into her. Hey, I think they cut Audrey singing from that episode too because I don't remember them really showing her singing and it's kind of been her thing? This season is getting hella chopped. Audrey wants Joey to pick a cool outfit but spoilers, Joey will be wearing a boring white t-shirt to perform.

We move to Jen and Dawson now and they are both getting ready to go back to Capeside for Lily's first birthday party. Dawson seems pretty chill but Jen is stressing about what to wear, she also seems to be really mad at Dawson and for once, I'm on his side. He's doing nothing wrong here and yet she's just pissed at him for everything. She gets mad when Grams comes in expecting to find them in a compromising position but they are just packing and he says it made him feel old and boring. Then she gets mad when he asks if she's interested in having sex. Then she gets mad when he respects the fact that he takes her no for an answer. I hate this. How did we go from giddy, happy Jen to insecure and wants to dump her cute boyfriend Jen? Just because some stupid band guy talked to her about passion? Blah. 

Dawson is outside talking with Joey and says they're leaving in 10 minutes. Joey tells him that she actually can't come and holy hell. Did Joey just bail on her friend's sister's first birthday at the last minute to be the singer in a band for the guy that cheated on her friend Jen? All my hate for Joey is steadily returning this season because that is the shittiest thing. Dawson takes it pretty well and says that he'll miss her. Joey hands him a present for Lily and they part ways. How is Dawson the sane and likable one this episode? Did I jump into an alternate universe where everyone on this show sucks but him? I don't like it, take me back to the regular Creek.

Jack and Jen are inside the kitchen and she looks tense. She asks if they got new orange juice and Jack says he thinks so. Jen then casually drops that she's going to dump Dawson which makes Jack do a spit take but he can't ask any questions because Dawson comes in. This is the end of Dawson and Jen and I'm sad. I'm actually sad. 

We time jump to Jen, Jack, Dawson and Grams arriving in Capeside to be greeted by Gail. They all happily exchange greetings when a man comes up holding a little girl and seeming too familiar with Gail, much to Dawson's dislike. Gail mentions that she forgot to pick up the cake and Jack jumps on the opportunity to pick it up with Jen. They walk off and he quips that she can't dump him now. 

Audrey is convincing Pacey to be their wheels man on the trip. He's not too happy about the fact that Charlie is the one they're doing the favour for since he seems to be the only one that cares how badly he treated Jen. Pacey doesn't want to have to deal with him but in major contrivance mode, Charlie comes running up to them asking for a ride because his bandmates left without him since he overslept. You know this is a fanfic trope, oh no we don't like him but he HAS to ride with us now. Pacey correctly assumes that Charlie planned the whole thing (we never really find this out but come on) and is just stalking Joey. Audrey gets a little affronted by Pacey's protectiveness over Joey but he points out that he saw what happened to Jen and doesn't want it to happen to another one of his friends. Audrey wears him down though and with a promise of pork rinds, he agrees to drive them. So long as she keeps Charlie away from him.

In the back seat, Charlie makes some crude comment about having a dream about him and Joey in a backseat. Joey assures him that this backseat holds no such implications and that it's strictly business to which he replies that all his backseat transactions are. This is a joke that either implies he buys prostitutes or that he views having sex with any women as transactional which are huge red flags to me. Sex work is work but a guy that partakes in that extremely often despite being able to get with women doesn't imply loneliness but something fundamentally wrong and kind of pathetic. This is the guy they want us to see with Joey? This is worse than Wilder. Maybe not worse...on par? Just as terrible? Still stuck drowning in a pit of filth?

After a brief fade that used to be a commercial break, we rejoin the four in the car. Audrey makes a comment about being near Salem and Pacey says she'd probably not be welcome there, implying that she's a witch? What are you saying about your girlfriend, Pacey? You're supposed to be the good one. Joey asks where they're playing and instead of answering Charlie just says that she's already slipping into the life of a rock star or something. No, dipshit, she just wants to know where she's expected to sing because you asked her to. He asks Pacey where he got his car but Pacey skirts that question and asks where they're going and this time, Charlie does answer. A bar called the Drunk and the Dead. Joey looks nervous but refuses to admit it so Charlie thinks that she's already imagining what her gateway drug will be because she's going to fall in love with the rock star life. I think I hate this whole plot. I mean, I knew I would, I hated it the first time but I hate it even more now. Just because Charlie is more insufferable than I remember.

Jack confronts Jen over what is going on with her and Dawson. She explains that she was way too quick to jump into things with Dawson and prove everyone wrong because they are actually meant to be together but now everything feels too safe. Jack asks if she felt anything for Steve the rocker and Jen says that she missed something, that fresh new feeling of deciding yes or no to being with someone. I sort of get what she's saying but just because she's friends with Dawson doesn't mean that moment didn't exist between them when they went for it. This just doesn't add up to me. How did we go from happy, giddy Jen who buys her "cute" boyfriend ET trapper keepers to her being suddenly unhappy and feeling passionless towards Dawson? It doesn't make sense to me and I don't buy this. She says that she feels bad missing having fun Saturdays (she could still go out with Dawson on Saturday) and that Dawson deserves better than her resentment. Jack says that she should tell him that.

Dawson is watching Lily play with the other kids at the party when Nathan comes in, clearly looking to get to know Dawson. He chats with him about movies but Dawson barely engages with him so, seeing that Dawson is watching Lily, Nathan picks her up and gushes over what an artist she is. He says the creative gene must run in the family but instead of agreeing or chatting with him, Dawson bails.

Back in the car, Charlie is pestering Pacey about speeding up a bit. Audrey tries to defuse the situation but of course, Charlie can't resist being a prick and tells Pacey he drives like a granny. Pacey pulls over the car and gets out. Everyone else gets out and Charlie asks what the problem is. Pacey says there is no problem because they're leaving and Charlie is going to hitchhike. They are about to come to blows when Audrey intervenes and drags Pacey off into the woods. In a horror movie, this is where those two would be offed. This comment means nothing other than the movie Wrong Turn lives in my head rent free because that's what my mind brought up when I saw four characters by the side of the road near woods. 

My mind is weird, ok? I see teens arguing by the side of a forested road,
I think mutant inbreeders are out to get them.

Joey chastises Charlie for being an ass when Pacey is doing him a favour but it somehow devolves into him claiming she likes him. She denies it but I know this is where the writers are heading and can I just say, I hate it. Audrey and Pacey emerge from the forest disheveled, not from inbred mutants but from implied vigorous anger sex. Joey thanks Audrey but wants no details and they are on their way again. See, this is why I can't really get behind the Audrey Pacey friendship. It feels weird because I really want him with Joey again but the dynamics all off now because here she is standing weirdly by while he has sex with her new best friend. I don't know I just don't like it. Again, love Audrey, love Pacey, they seem cute, I'm just not into it.

Dawson is trying to vent with a visibly uncomfortable Jen. I think he's valid to be weirded out by the sudden appearance of Nathan but he does need to realize that Gail will have to move on. Jen points this out but she is clearly not in this conversation and that makes me sad because she's usually the really sound advice giver. Dawson realizes that they're having two entirely different conversations and apologizes for lashing out at her which is huge progress for him. Jen wants to take a breather and Dawson clues in that something is not right and asks her what is wrong but she's not ready to talk. She tells him she's going somewhere with Jack. Ugh, I feel bad for Dawson. I feel weird again, this is not normal. 

The car trip crew have arrived at the dive bar in question and it's full of rough bikers. Not exactly the place for a college pop rock band. They are worried this is the wrong crowd but Charlie assures Joey that she'll be fine because the crowd won't really care much about her singing, if you know what he means. *SIGH* My boy, Pacey has my back here by calling out his shit and saying that he's basically using Joey like some kind of weird prostitute but I also need to go on a bit of a tangent here. Guys, this does not actually make us feel better. Contrary to what popular media pushes, I think most women don't want to be sexually objectified (I'm sure there are some that would be flattered, sure) but look, if Joey wants to sing because she finds it fun I'm pretty sure she wants people to care about her singing because that is what brings her joy. Ya dig? Like, it's not cute or reassuring to pat us on the head and go, it's ok you look cute and guys want to fuck you. Like, gee thanks, I feel super validated for my talents and not just like a piece of meat for consumption. Audrey drags Joey away to get shots and prison style tattoos, but spoilers, Joey doesn't get a tattoo. Pacey says he has his eyes on Charlie and Charlie makes another wise crack about how hot the girls are so he should be watching them instead. I hate Charlie.

Somehow, this dive bar has a back stage/change room? That's where we find Audrey and Joey. Joey is getting her make up done but is just going to be wearing a boring white t shirt and jeans. She's worried because she doesn't want to care but she does care and really wants to win the crowd over. Charlie comes in to tell her how he'll introduce her but also to tell her she's gorgeous because she's Joey and everyone always has to tell her how pretty she is. Uh oh, my Joey hate is definitely coming back. I really want to like her but the writers are making it very hard by having all characters gush about how special and perfect she is which is just another reason that makes this feel extra fan fiction like. He leaves and Audrey calls Joey out for liking him which oh man, is going to piss me off so much but I have to save that rage for another episode because there's already too much here to talk about already. Audrey teases her about how much she cares about music because this is so totally Audrey's story which might be what's irritating me so much. Joey already got a whole episode centered around her and now she's stealing plots from side characters. Which I guess new viewers might not be bugged about since they cut out most of Audrey's singing but she's the singer here, not Joey. 

Charlie introduces Joey to the crowd and he says she's a girl that makes men strive to be better which makes me want to puke but again, I'll save this rant for another day because today I have music gripes to deal with. Ok, so if you're joining the Creek for the first time on Netflix, you're going to be utterly confused that this episode about performing in a concert consists of very little concert because on Netflix, Joey goes up to the mic, it gives feedback and she stares out at the crowd in silence before we cut to a new scene. In the original run, Joey starts to sing Jesse's Girl to a booing crowd. You couldn't even give me a little bit of Joey bombing, Netflix? It makes her just a wee bit more relatable. Audrey jokes that she may have to take her clothes off and while I get the joke, I kind of hate it because of my above rant about a woman's only worth being her boobs.

Dawson finds his mom in the living room and they chat about the party and about Jen. Dawson admits they had a fight and he thinks it was about moving on. Gail says that moving on isn't really a choice but something that happens, even when you don't mean it to. Dawson thinks he should go find Jen but Gail is sure they'll find each other. She points out the gift that Joey sent and how it's still unopened and then goes to put Lily and herself to bed but not before Dawson starts to ask about Nathan. Gail apologizes for not telling Dawson about him but she didn't really know what to tell but to everyone's shock, including mine, Dawson says that it was nice meeting her friend. She smiles and thanks him. Once alone, Dawson opens up the gift and finds a book of drawings that Joey has made for Lily. She wishes her years of happy memories like the ones drawn in the book, which include the dock by the creek, Dawson holding Lily, Mitch, Mitch with Gail and Lily, and then a picture of the whole family. He smiles fondly because of course the pictures bring up nice memories, some of which are of Joey so I guess we're returning to the Joey/Dawson well to close out a season? Is that why we're breaking up Jen and Dawson who were a pretty cool, loving, and functional couple? Neat. I'm not mad at all. Though, fair play I do like that they brought back Joey's artistic skills. It's a very sweet present.

Back at the rough bar, Joey is attempting to get through I Ran So Far Away by A Flock of Seagulls but you wouldn't know that if you are watching on Netflix. On Netflix you assume that Joey's just been staring blankly at the crowd this whole time and it's kind of hilarious? Just imagine a band comes out and instead of playing they just stand there awkwardly while you stare back and you're both waiting for someone to do something. Like, she's supposed to be trying and the crowd is actively booing her and the band and getting scarily rowdy. But apparently they couldn't afford to leave in Joey singing a few lines from some recognizable older songs so instead, it's just silence. Until Charlie gets an idea and whispers something into her ear. The band starts playing I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett and woof. Ok, again, it's not that Katie is a bad singer but this is not the song for her. She has far too weak a voice for me to believe that she could win over a crowd like this with that song. Would this crowd like the song? Yeah if Joan Jett did it but a college girl with a kind of weak not really rocker voice? Doubt it. Seriously doubt it. But eat it up they do and the band ends on a successful note.

Also, tell me this show was shot by a man without
telling me it was shot by a man

Outside the bar, Charlie and Joey are talking to some of the crowd while Audrey and Pacey watch. Pacey still can't stand Charlie and Audrey starts to feel a little bit awkward since she thinks his hatred is Joey inspired. I mean, it should be because Pacey and Joey belong together and Charlie is a skeezeball who should not be around any women but Pacey says his issue is from having to watch him kiss Audrey repeatedly during the movie shoot. This makes Audrey really hot and heavy. Joey wants to go but Audrey insists they spend the night in a motel to which Charlie readily agrees because oops, his ride just left. This is the point where both Audrey and Pacey are selfish, asshole friends. Pacey was all worried about her until he was going to get laid and then leaves her to get a room with a strange guy who mistreated Jen? Not cool. 

Joey is sitting by the pool when Charlie comes by and tells her he got a room and in the biggest contrivance of all contrivances, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!! Oh noes, what will they do? Are you seeing this? Are you seeing now why I call it the fan fic episode? Joey is now a singer in a band with this bad boy that she couldn't possibly be with but oh no, they're stuck getting a hotel room together and there's only one bed!!! So fucking tropey and it relies on writing two really good characters as assholes for this to even happen too. I hate it. Charlie asks if she feels weird about Pacey and her roommate sleeping together and Joey says it's just how their group is which is accurate. He then asks if she's only had sex with him. She protests about how inappropriate that is but he says she could use a new friend since all hers are sleeping together which is fair but it also doesn't mean she has to befriend this assface. Joey relents and says yes he is and Charlie tries to tell her he's only slept with two people. One in highschool and then Jen which...how did he think that would work when he already knows Joey and Jen are friends and she already knew he cheated? Charlie is impressed with how much she throws off his game but his game is weak and dumb and lazy so it's not really that big a feat that she, you know, remembers the stuff she knows he did? Forgive me for not being impressed by Joey's magic ability to make men strive to be better here. Charlie leaves a room key for Joey and tells her she's welcome if/when she gets too cold. He then tells her she was great but she thinks it's because he helped her out. So, I've always been unclear about this, was Joan Jett's song part of the original set list? Or did Charlie think of it last minute? If so, how did Joey know all the words? Whatever, Charlie says he couldn't resist being close to something so amazing but like...Joey wasn't that good. She did fine, passable for a karaoke night but I doubt she'd have won over a tough crowd with that performance.

Charlie then bumps into Pacey and I'm sorry, this is the worst exchange ever. Charlie is impressed that Pacey managed to bag two "high-maintenance" women but Pacey thinks that high-maintenance just means high-quality. Charlie is shocked they're having a normal conversation but Pacey is just tired of hating him so much and thought he did a nice thing for Joey. What did he do? Pick a song? It wasn't that nice, especially if it was already a song in the setlist. If it wasn't, it could have backfired horribly because I certainly don't have lyrics memorized to a lot of songs. The two guys part ways but not before Pacey warns Charlie not to hurt Joey. Cool, I guess that makes up for you forcing Joey to spend the night with him so you can get your rocks off with Audrey. God, I'm so disappointed in Pacey right now. He's dropping the ball big time.

Pacey then talks to Joey and I almost thought he'd see how unreasonable he and Audrey are being since Joey seems intent on sitting outside by the pool all night near a seedy bar but nope, he just says that if Charlie tries anything unsavory, she knows where to find him. Goddamnit, Pacey, I am so disappointed in you. He jokes that if Joey wanted, she could break Charlie's heart but this does not make it better. 

Pacey finally makes it back to Audrey's room where she's been impatiently waiting. She thinks he went out to get condoms but no, he went to get her a cupcake and a candle to celebrate their first night together with no interruptions but I beg to differ. You have a friend who is waiting outside by a seedy motel pool because she's uncomfortable rooming with a stranger who dicked Jen around. You're just ignoring that obstacle because you got your own bedroom so you're cool. Ugh, I hate that this contrivance is making me hate Pacey. 

We cut to Dawson who finds Jen and Jack hanging out at the high school on the front steps. Jack quickly excuses himself because he knows what's up. Dawson asks Jen what happened and she explains that she put so much into wanting to be with him and how she wants him to marry her and he asks why she's pulling away then. She doesn't think this is one-sided though and he kind of agrees. This is a really murky break up because I don't even think the writers understand why they're doing this other than they want Dawson free for when Joey is ready which is different from the beginning where they wanted Joey free for when Dawson was ready, I guess? Anyway, they agree that they're breaking up and cuddle and I'm really bummed. I thought they were cute together and they seemed so happy. Happiness just can't last on teen dramas though, unfortunately.

I'm so sad, you guys

We end the episode with Joey making her way inside the motel room. She finds Charlie asleep and then awkwardly gets on the bed beside him, fully clothed and on top of the covers. I guess she's happy about this because she smiles but I would hate it. 

Oof, this episode blows. Both in terms of being really contrived and utterly frustrating. I don't like that Joey is placed on this weird pedestal by the show, I don't like that Pacey and Audrey had to act like assholes for no reason and then expected us to be wooed by Pacey's cupcake gesture, I don't like that Dawson and Jen broke up. And do you know what? I can blame all of this dislike on Ken Marino. Because he was supposed to be Joey's love interest but he got another show and thus, had to be written out and this is why we're here with Joey becoming a singer all of the sudden and Charlie coming back despite being the worst person, and hell probably for Dawson and Jen breaking up already because frankly this whole thing came out of nowhere. Thanks for nothing Ken. You saved us from a gross professor/student plot but what have you cursed us with instead? Stay tuned because the implications of this little fling between Joey and Charlie are about to get much worse and rage inducing. Next episode is Cigarette Burns.