Glee - 221 - Funeral

 Original air date: May 17, 2011

Last week's episode was actually a bit fun but this one is a complete downer. You have been warned. The songs are not that exciting, the plot is centered around a funeral, and Finn acts like the biggest douche on the planet but the episode clearly expects us to sympathize with him and I just don't. Finn is the Dawson of Glee, in other words.

So, remember how last episode Jesse bragged about starting a new business venture in glee choir consulting? They actually brought that back because Will introduces Jesse as their new consultant for Nationals. Finn is not happy about this because he's an oaf. I'm sorry but I already don't like Finn and this episode drives that home and I'm already mad about how it turns out. Is Finn right to distrust Jesse? Sure but is he right to be this pissed with Jesse over something that happened to Rachel when she has clearly forgiven him? No. He can have any feelings he wants towards Jesse and absolutely doesn't have to forgive or like Jesse but he should respect Rachel enough to not be mad on her behalf when she's not feeling that way. Savvy? 

Will tries to appease everyone by still claiming to be in charge and making all the final calls but he's also not that great so this wouldn't put my mind at ease. He and Jesse apparently both agree to keep doing original songs and ugh I hate that. Do not want more original songs please. Is it weird that I honestly can't remember if they did or didn't do original songs for this competition? I remember nothing but the New York/New York mashup and I think they did the Lady and the Tramp song? Bella Notte? Am I crazy? Possibly but that's for next recap to discover, I've got my hands full with Funeral. Focus. Ok, so Finn thinks that he and Rachel should do a duet because he's now done a heel-turn on that thinking just because Rachel might have a chance to date someone other than him. Because he sucks. Everyone rightly calls them out that they lost the last time those two did a duet so I guess they should hand the duet to Sam and Quinn? Jesse steps in and it is really clear that the writers are trying way harder to make him an asshole this time around rather than a loveable snarky guy and yet...I still agree with him. Oops? He tells Finn that he's the weakest singer (correct) asides from Mike Chang who can at least dance while Finn looks like a zombie who has to take a poop when he dances (also correct and hilariously accurate). Finn gets pissed and Will asks Jesse to be more gentle with his critiques. Jesse is confused because they're training to win, not for the "Try Your Best" award and again, he's kind of right. It's great to be inclusive and to make a club fun but if you really want to win and go that route, it has to involve using your best performers and putting your weaker ones in the background. I say this knowing fully well that had I tried out for anything in high school, I would have been one of those sidelined performers. If you like performing, it shouldn't matter anyway. Jesse says that the Vocal Adrenaline way was to identify the best performer and focus their entire show around them. Everyone looks pissed because they all assume he's just going to pick Rachel but Will says they're holding auditions.

Sue has called Terri in to yell at her about her ineffectiveness in ruining the glee club. Also, and more importantly, Howard Bamboo is back and how I've missed him. He wants a villain nickname too but Sue goes less clever or funny and more...racist for him. She calls him Panda Express despite him not being Chinese to which she says that neither is the food at Panda Express. I don't think I've ever eaten there so I can't confirm nor deny this but Howard deserves a better nick name. Anyway, she wants to have the glee club's plane tickets rerouted from New York to Libya. Terri is shocked that she wants to send them to a dangerous location, rather than just somewhere else in America and wonders if she wants the glee club killed. Sue is fine with kidnapped too or both. Terri makes a comment that suggests to us that Sue is grumpier than usual but honestly? This is par for the course with her. How she's not been arrested and jailed by this point in the show is astonishing to me. This isn't even in the realm of craziest thing she's done or will do on this show.

But come on, Howard is back baybee!

We cut to Becky and her mother confronting Will about wanting to join the Glee club which comes out of left field and feels really awkward and mean? I know what they're trying to do is show that Becky has been kicked out of the Cheerios and now feels like she has nowhere else to go but it made me uncomfortable because of course, Will has to deny her because they're almost at Nationals and why would her mother assume she could just join a club at the end of the school year? It just feels weird that Will denies her when last year they pulled Jacob Ben Israel last second to fill out their roster. Why not invite her to practice but say that she won't be able to come to Nationals with them this year? Because as it stands, he kind of rejects Becky and then goes to yell at Sue for rejecting Becky and it comes off almost like he's mad that Sue made Becky his problem? 

Will tells Sue she's terrible and she reveals that she has a reason for being terrible. Becky reminds her of her sister and her sister died. Sucks. Still terrible though. I hate how quickly we're supposed to go from hating Sue to feeling sorry for her and I'm sorry, I just don't. I have no sympathy for someone who would ruin a child's self-esteem simply because they remind them of someone who they knew who died. Wait, is Sue actually Snape? Because same energy and they're both terrible. Their sob-story background is not an excuse to mistreat children. She can feel that pain and heartache and not take it out on children because she's a grown up, she just chooses not to. This changes nothing for me. She's an awful, awful person and honestly, her sister would probably dislike her for treating Becky so callously too so she's dishonoring her sister's memory by doing this.  

Rachel has signed up for the auditions while monologuing about how far she's come and that her dream is to still be a star. She even puts her trademark gold star next to her name, as she did in the pilot. She sees Finn and asks if he's signed up but he's a big baby who refuses because Jesse was mean to him. Rachel tries to tell him he's the best and the male lead but like, I wish I saw what she saw in Finn because I just don't get it. He just looks like a doofus to me (with peace and love to Cory) who is pretty callous with other people's feelings which we will see very soon but also saw with the way he treated Rachel. 

Meanwhile, Will is packing up his apartment with Emma's help. He's agonizing about the fact that he will likely be right back to Ohio because April's show is going to close right after opening and from what I saw of it, that's probably accurate. Emma thinks he's going to be big though and they work on sorting through all of his vests, whether he's taking them with, storing, or donating. He wants to keep the one he wore the first day of Glee club. Emma asks about another one and he says he wore it the first day he met her but oops, he's donating that one. 

Oops, your memory gets thrown in the trash

Kurt and Finn have brought flowers to Sue of all people and say they're sorry for her loss. I mean, that's nice and all but it's Sue. Why would they care about her at all? Beyond a passing, that's sad for her? Sue cleverly calls Kurt and Finn Eddie and Herman Munster but ruins it by awkwardly saying both names in full. They really needed dialogue reworks in this show or they think the audience is stupid? I mean, no young teen is going to get the joke either way, so why bother? I only barely get the joke because of cultural osmosis so I have no real stakes here but it just sounds so clunky the way she says it that it irks me. Anyway, Sue doesn't know how to deal with any of this and refuses to plan a funeral so, you know what that means!

Yeah, the glee club is going to plan a funeral for a woman they've never met on behalf of a woman they hate because...reasons. None of this makes sense and some of the characters even point this out and it's just painfully obvious that the writers have this idea, know the audience isn't going to buy it, and are furiously writing dialogue for their dolls to regurgitate so they can just get to the song they want to have them sing at a funeral for some goddamn reason. Jesse points out that they probably shouldn't be planning a funeral in the same week they should be planning for Nationals and the show tries to play this like he's in some moral wrong but he's not. None of them knew Jean. None of them like Sue. Why would they do this when they should be preparing for Nationals? This makes no sense and I will not let them vilify Jesse for pointing out the dumbness of this plan. Finn decides to take a stand though and says that they're doing this and I think we're supposed to be on his side but this is all dumb and I'm not buying it.

Will finds Sue and tells her that they're honoured that she's asked them to plan the funeral but she didn't ask, they volunteered and she only agreed because they said they'd help her clean out her sister's room. Will tells her that she can lean on him and just why does he care? He hates Sue. Sue has tried to get him fired on multiple occasions. Why do they want to impress Sue so much??

We next find Will and Jesse preparing to hold their auditions for the lead singer of Glee club. A week before Nationals. Jesse really should be chewing them out for not having this on lock yet. WTF? Not only are they planning a funeral but they don't even have a lead yet nor do they have the songs practiced, I'm guessing because usually you'd pick a song to fit a singer's voice, the singer they haven't picked yet. This episode is a complete and utter mess. Santana is our first contestant and she sings Back to Black by Amy Whinehouse and it is so good. Of course, Jesse can't like it because he very obviously wants Rachel to win. Santana threatens to go all Lima Heights on him as she's dragged off stage. Will says nothing because he's useless. 

Next up is Kurt and he sings another song from G*psy (I know that's the name of the musical but I don't feel comfortable writing it out as it's a slur for Romani people. It might not be what the show intended but that's the reason I type it this way, in case you are interested). It's called Some People and I don't really like it. I don't know if it's just that I've never seen the musical so the song holds no meaning to it, or it's just a boring song, or even if I just don't like Kurt's voice on it but it's not working for me. It's not working for Jesse either as he touts the performance as weak since it didn't rival the greats that have performed it in the past. Why do I keep agreeing with the guy who is clearly intended as this episode's antagonist? 

Kurt complains in the back about Jesse and all the other kids agree that he sucks, except for Rachel. They call her out for being in love with him and that she's obviously going to win because he likes her too. Finn once again points out to her that Jesse threw an egg on her head and it's weird to me that he's reminding her of this as if she didn't know and already made amends with Jesse? Again, it's not up to him to be mad on her behalf if she's over it. The show didn't even care enough to explain why Jesse even did that extreme of a heel turn in the first place, they certainly weren't going to give us a good resolution to it but it seems like Rachel and him sorted that out after singing Rolling in the Deep. Santana is certain that she nailed her song and she is absolutely correct that she did but Mercedes is convinced she is going to, and I quote, "wrap this thing up like a Christmas present." Let's see how she does.

Mercedes goes out on stage and performs Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding and hmmm. She does ok? Like towards the end, she sounds great and is nailing the powerful notes but it almost doesn't mean anything because she's screaming the entire song? This song is supposed to be a slow burn that builds to a huge climax. The beginning is slow, tender, longing, and mournful, then it gets a little faster, then it gets louder and upbeat for this powerhouse finish of desperation. Mercedes is just trying to powerhouse the whole song and it does not work for me at all. My favourite version of this song is actually a cover from a movie musical called The Commitments. So, I'm going to be a jerk and actually post both Mercedes version and The Commitments' version side by side. Maybe you like hers better but I'm sorry, you're wrong because The Commitments killed it with the slow build to upbeat energy.

I know that she had to cram a 4 minute performance into 2 mins so it's probably not fair to compare but she could have still done the slow build in that time. Just a little softer in the beginning is my only critique, she did really well with the song towards the end. The other funny thing with the performance is that I suspect the performances are filmed as a separate beast to the rest of the episode or the actors aren't given much direction beyond, watch this performance because I noted that Jesse or actually Groff actually mouths "Wow" and looks blown away by her performance (and yes she hits those notes at the end really well, I'm just picky with how that song is performed) but then he immediately trashes her and you could argue that they left it in to make him seem disingenuous. However, I feel like Jesse would not have shown how much he was enjoying her performance at all because he wants to save the "blown away" for Rachel so I feel confident in saying this was an actor slip up and they just kept it in because this show doesn't care about character motivation or storytelling. 

Here comes my actual rant because Jesse thinks that she's a really good singer but not a star. He asks her how many times she practiced and Mercedes scoffs at the suggestion that she would practice because she feels her songs with emotion. For starters, no way does anyone who sounds that good never practice. There is just no way. Even if you come by your voice naturally and don't need to work at it as hard as others, you still need to learn the words and the cadence of the song you're singing. You need to practice staying on beat, harmonizing, where to breathe. There is no fucking way she didn't practice at all. BUT, if we are going with this narrative, that she just kind of maybe loosely learns the words and the melody but only sings it a few times and thinks she can nail it, then...Jesse is right to call her out for it. That's lazy and entitled to think you can just waltz into an audition and rattle off a song with "emotion" and think you nailed it. That's kind of a shit message to push because in the narrative of this show, Jesse is an ass for calling Mercedes out like this because they like to play that New Directions are underdogs who actually "get" the music and perform on the fly. That's not reality though and Jesse is absolutely right that to be a star in anything, you have got to be prepared to practice over and over and over until you absolutely nail it. And I don't mean "have a nice voice" we can all do that with karaoke. When I mean nail it, the timing has to be on point. You are not missing a note or falling off the rhythm. You are not coming in to early or finishing a line late. You are perfect. Jesse points this out to her and asks if she's ready and she says she is but he doesn't think so. Neither do I, to be honest. If her attitude about practice is that it's beneath her, then she isn't ready to take on lead singing responsibility. 

It's now Rachel's turn and she's singing My Man from Funny Girl, as sung by Barbara, of course. Jesse wants to know if she's singing about anyone in particular and she claims she isn't which disappoints Jesse and me because of course, throughout the song we see clips of Finn looking like a doof and I just don't get it. 

Rachel does not have great taste in men
(Asides from Sam, please don't kill me, Lucas :P )

Jesse has not notes for her because she was perfect. She was good, this just wasn't my type of song so I'm mostly bored. I'm sorry. She was great but I think I liked Santana's audition better if only because the song was more fun. Everyone is pissed because they feel like this was rigged but Will assures them that he makes the final call. It's just, he's going to need a bit of time to think this over. Knowing Will, he'll chicken out and say they all won today so two group numbers!

Finn and Kurt are helping to clean out Jean's room but Sue is of no help. She just wants them to throw everything out and they're confused about why she's letting them put on a funeral at all if she hates them so much. No, no, why do YOU guys want to help her out if she treats you all so crappy all the time? Seriously, why? Why is this happening? None of you met Jean. None of you like Sue. This makes no sense. Sue agreed because she thought no one would come to her sister's funeral otherwise. This scene is a bit pointless and is just here to tell us that Jean's favourite movie is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 

At the funeral, Sue greets Will who tells her that it's a full house because Jean touched a lot of people. She goes in and they've decorated the area around the coffin with mushrooms and colourful props to look like the first area of the factory seen in the movie. Sue starts to give her eulogy but can't get through it so Will finishes it for her. Then the glee club sings Pure Imagination which is pretty but this all feels like filler to me. Why is this happening when we should be getting into Nationals? I feel like such a bitch, but I'm just confused why they thought any of this would work. I know they wanted a soften Sue moment but this was rushed and poorly done.

Outside in a car, Quinn praises Finn for how he put together such a nice funeral and he responds by breaking up with her. You see, Sue's speech about loving her sister so much has made him realize that he doesn't feel that way for Quinn. Quinn doesn't believe him and says that they're not breaking up and she'll stay with him while he works out his feelings for Rachel and then they can be Prom King and Queen next year. Finn gets pissed and tells her he doesn't want that life and then asks her if she actually feels anything which is just such assholery. If he were smart, he'd pick up on the fact that he has made both of his girlfriends feel insecure about his other girlfriends and that maybe he's stringing both of them along? For real, every time he and Rachel fought, she'd bring up Quinn and how much prettier she is and every time he and Quinn have fought, she'd bring up Rachel and how much more he cares for her. He's managed to make himself the Archie between two beautiful girls who are fighting over him when he clearly doesn't deserve to be fought over. Rachel and Quinn, for all their faults deserve better than this loser who can't make up his goddamned mind. When he's with Quinn, he wants Rachel, when he's with Rachel, he wants Quinn. Just stop it and let them move on. Quinn starts to cry and Finn tries to apologize but too little too late, asshole. Quinn storms out of the car and tells him not to touch her. For real, accusing her of not feeling emotions. Where the hell did that even come from? Quinn has felt all the emotions and dealt with all the shit. Where does Finn get off? 

Jesse and Will are talking about who to pick as the winner. Obviously, Jesse is gunning for Rachel but Will is once again waffling because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Man, Will should not be the coach of a competitive club. He thinks that declaring a winner means declaring that one of the kids is his favourite but like, that's what he said he was going to do. The kids will be ok and yes, he's going to hurt someone's feelings but how else were you going to decide? Were you going to draw a name at random? He frustrates me sometimes. 

Becky walks into Sue's office with her pom poms and a megaphone to return them but Sue stops her and apologizes for firing her in, what she calls a "womb rage" which I hate with a fiery passion. Again, this show was written by three men so of course they write in that Sue was just moody on her period and not just a rotten person? Anyway, Sue says she's back on the team and that next year Becky will be captain. She then asks for a hug and I know this is supposed to be a sweet moment but it feels more like Sue is using Becky as a surrogate sister. Could just be me and my cynicism though.

Sue finds Will and makes amends by admitting to her little plan of rerouting their tickets to Libya. Will is shocked and wants an explanation but it's Terri who is going to offer it. Sue dips as Terri presents him with first class tickets to New York in a very obvious plug for American Airlines because she says she made up a story about contracting monkey pox and Will says that she didn't to which she agrees and says that their planes are immaculate. Lol. Airlines do not clean the planes thoroughly between take offs or at all, really. Don't tell me airplanes are immaculate. Biggest load of paid for advertising ever. Anyway, Terri is also moving to Miami so I think that means we'll likely not see her again.

Will and her part on good terms and then Emma swoops right in. Will asks if she's wearing one of his vests and she is. She didn't have the heart to throw it away because it was the one he wore when they first met. Will says it isn't forever but Emma hopes it is because she believes he deserves to have his dreams come true on Broadway. She asks him not to be a stranger though. 

Jesse has asked to meet Rachel before the list is posted because he wants to be the one to tell her that she got the lead. Rachel is ecstatic but also worried because it means the club will hate her. Jesse points out that they already kind of do but that it's the price of fame. He then says that he did wrong by her and that he came back to make it right. He used to think that fame was the only thing that mattered but actually, she matters more. Why is he, the obvious foil to get between the supposed OTP, sounding so much more romantic and caring than Finn ever has? Finn shows up with flowers right at the below moment but who cares, be rejected and feel all the pain, dumbass.

He may be the villain but dammit, I stan

The list is about to be posted and everyone is at each others' throats. Will gets fed up and says this is what he was trying to avoid. As per my prediction, he cowards out of picking a winner and says they're going to do group original songs. Jesse thinks they're going to lose and I agree. Their original songs are just meh at best. They lucked out with Loser Like Me. Everyone starts complimenting each other now meaning harmony has returned to the glee club or something. Will is excited to get started because he wants to have two songs done by the time they hit down at JFK and I'm sorry, they don't have a setlist? This is the narrative they're going with? I always wonder how many kids joined glee club and were disappointed to find out that they practiced the same few songs over and over and over again instead of travelling to a competition and just winging it with cool fresh songs every time? 

Next we get Finn thanking Quinn for not quitting glee club as if she were doing him a personal favour by not leaving to sulk or something. I literally seethed during this whole exchange. This is the guy they want us to see as the hero of glee. The main male lead and he's a boorish, sexist, condescending douche. It didn't even occur to him that Quinn might just really like glee club? He just assumed she'd quit because he shattered her heart. Bro, you ain't that special. If they wanted him to seem genuinely sorry about how things went down between them, then he should have been written to apologize for hurting her. Like "hey, I'm so sorry for how I ended things and that I hurt your feelings before." No mention of glee club because it's not necessary except that it is because they want to leave us with this garbage teaser that will ultimately lead to nothing. NOTHING. Because these guys are hack writers oh my god, how did I watch this show all the way to the end when I'm already so mad about it??? Why did I torture myself? Why am I still torturing myself? The answer is that I like a lot of the actors. They're fun and have great voices and I just had a lot of fun with the songs most of the time but I really wish that the writers had put more care into their creation. It's like they got success and just gave the fuck up. It's frustrating. If you care, the cliffhanger is that Quinn didn't want to quit glee because it would ruin her plans for New York and when Finn asks what her plans are she gives him an ominous "you'll see" and we cut out. Pretty sure her big plan got left on a cutting room floor somewhere because I do not remember anything memorable happening for her in New York. I guess we'll find out next week though, maybe I'm off base and my anger isn't justified. That could be. Until then I'm just going to be mad because Finn is the worst and these writers gave up on a show that had charm and potential and that is so infuriating. Take pride in the things you create and make them as good as you want them to be.

Our cliffhangers are will the glee club actually sing original songs? Will they win or lose Nationals? What is Quinn's "big plan" in New York? Will Rachel get with Jesse or end up stuck with Finn? Is this the end of glee club for Will? We'll find out in the last episode of season 2, New York!