Dawson's Creek - 504 - The Long Goodbye

 Original air date: October 31, 2001

We left last episode on a very confusing note. I found it morbidly funny but it was up in the air for fresh viewers if he was really dead. So, we open this episode very quietly with panning shots of Capeside and a couple wanting to eat at Leery's Fresh Fish but finding it closed because of a death in the family and that's how you find out that Mitch didn't make it. We next get a montage of the empty rooms in the Leery home and find Dawson staring sadly out the window before we cut to credits and I have to say, neither theme song really works as a cutaway from the heavy mood they just set. 

We come back to Dawson in a funeral home, chatting with a funeral salesman? I don't know what they're called, if they have some other title. I guess he could be a mortician but who knows? Anyway, he asks in a kind of soft tone that sounds very robotic how his mother is doing. Dawson informs us that she cries a lot and yeah, can't really blame her. The man then asks how he is and Dawson replies that everyone gets weirded out when he gives too long an answer but that this guy is probably used to it before finally responding that he's fine. He then picks a coffin which the funeral guy deems 'tasteful'. We don't get to see what the tasteful coffin looks like so now I'll never know and I might accidentally pick a distasteful one when faced with such a decision. Thanks a lot, Dawson's Creek. Yes, I'm trying to keep this as light as I can for as long as I can because fair warning, you will need tissues when watching this episode if you're as big a suck as I am.

Joey finds Pacey on his boat and tells him that Doug's been trying to get a hold of him. Pacey tries to joke about not returning the calls but Joey tells him he really should've have called back because she has bad news. She tells him about Mitch and Pacey looks gutted but then also completely uncomfortable, which is fair. Joey wants him to come with her but he hesitates and she tears a strip off him that some dumb feud from high school should not outweigh the significance of his best friend's father dying. Pacey asks for five minutes to get some things together. 

Jen and Jack are already at the Potter B&B and Jen is extremely nervous about seeing Dawson. She doesn't know what to say to him but Jack says that he's not looking for her to give him a speech. You know, I'm very Jen in this situation. I've been to many funerals in my life and I never know what to say. There really is nothing good you can say. Having been a person that people felt the need to say things to, I couldn't even tell you what I hoped to hear. It's a gut-punch. It's traumatic. It feels surreal, especially if the person has gone way too soon. It's like your life stops making sense and feels out of joint. Jack agrees with me that there is no perfect thing to say to someone who has experienced a tragic loss and that she'll have to figure out her own way to show she's there for him. Jack is wise.

Dawson puts Lily down for a nap and then checks on his mother who is also sleeping. He puts a blanket over her before going to his own room to lie down. There isn't a transition but Mitch just is there and talking to him and Dawson isn't shocked but talks to him normally too and again, I find it funny. I know, I must be heartless but the thing is, seeing Mitch say that it's Dawson's 12th birthday (clueing us into the fact that it's a memory) and then Dawson (still played by James who is very adult) saying that he thinks he's ready for a girlfriend just makes me chuckle.

I mean, in my opinion, he hasn't been ready for a girlfriend this
whole show so maybe he is finally ready to really try?

I can prove I do have a heart though because Mitch tells Dawson he missed a present and tells him to get it from his closet. In the gift bag is a mini dv camcorder which takes me way back to my own filmmaking aspirations. Dawson is excited and tells his dad that he won't regret the expensive purchase because it is not a phase and he's going to make so many movies. I would throw shade here but in fairness, it is extremely hard to make movies and the fact that he did make 4 movies already in this show is an accomplishment, no matter how they turned out. There, I have a heart. Also, Mitch tells him to let the things he loves be his escape and I may have teared up a bit.

Joey comes into his room then, interrupting the little flashback. She comments on the fact that he's smiling and Dawson didn't even realize it. She gives him a hug that he very obviously does not reciprocate. Joey awkwardly asks if there's something she can do and Dawson asks her to watch Lily so he can get to the funeral home and runs off. 

We come back and everyone is in attendance at Mitch's funeral. Joey tries to take Dawson's hand in a show of support, like she always spoke fondly of Dawson doing for her at her mom's funeral, but he pulls it away. My Dawson-hating senses are more than tingling right now, they are banging pots and pans together because we all know some bullshit is coming from Dawson soon.

At the after service, Grams walks up to Dawson who is in the corner with his sister, Lily. She offers to hold Lily for him but Dawson refuses because she offers him a buffer zone so that no one talks to him. Man, that is not my experience with a baby, unless they're fussing, everyone wants to see the baby. Grams asks where Gail is and Dawson tells her she's upstairs and won't come down so Grams goes to leave peacefully. Like the brat he is, Dawson asks her what her platitude is. I think he's supposed to just be curious but James is playing Dawson angry which makes sense but has this added effect of making him seem like a jerk to someone who was only trying to be nice to him. Grams says she has nothing to offer and Dawson pithily remarks that he was sure she would trot out "the lord works in mysterious ways" and while that saying is absolutely infuriating to me too, it seems really unfair for him to vilify Grams as if she would say that to him. Grams keeps her cool and tells him that she and the lord aren't on speaking terms this week which honestly broke my heart. I'm not religious but Grams always found comfort in that and to see that Mitch's death shattered her so much is really powerful. I think Grams' offered the best platitude she could by telling him that.

Joey's outside the house, looking up at Dawson's window when she has her flashback of Mitch first putting the ladder up for her. He warns her not to climb the trellis anymore since it could break and she could hurt herself. He then tells her that sooner or later, Dawson will figure out that she likes him and that she should be patient. I honestly can't figure out the timeline here. Maybe she's supposed to be twelve too? So, she liked him since she was 12? Damn, that's some dedication to a crush without actually saying anything. I hope it wasn't earlier than 12 because I thought the ladder was kind of always around. What are you going to do? 

Jen finds Dawson in the kitchen and they joke about whether or not Dawson should get wasted or not before he ultimately chooses to drink orange juice. Jen then gives him a rather nice speech about how she had no clue what to say to him and has no advice to give so she says she's going to hug him for a very long time and she's going to say that she loves him. She says that this means she'll do anything for him if it will make him even a little less sad. Jen hugs him and you'll notice that he doesn't push her away and it was about this point that I started being ok with the idea of these two getting together again. At least it's what I remember from my first viewing.

It's good growth for Dawson but Jen really deserves better

Joey goes to check on Gail who asks her how the party is going. Joey jokes a little but when Gail asks about Dawson she gets a bit more serious when she says that Dawson is keeping it all together. Gail and Joey agree that this worries them and Gail mentions how stubborn Mitch was and Dawson is. Joey says that Mitch isn't really gone because there's so much of him in Dawson and then tells Gail that she remembers even when she was little how great Gail and Mitch's relationship was. She says that the way they looked at each other was special and that she can't presume to know what Mitch was thinking before he died but she knows that he loved Gail very much. 

Pacey is trying to slip out of the house but Dawson is on the porch and catches him. Dawson thanks him for coming and Pacey wishes that this funeral wasn't the first time seeing each other again. Dawson reveals that he's dropping out of film school which shocks Pacey about as much as it shocked his parents but understands when Dawson says it's a long story.  Pacey says how sorry he is and that there's nothing else he can really say but then Dawson starts reminiscing about when Mitch caught them smoking on the porch. Pacey jokes that if his own dad had found him, he might have still been smoking just to spite him. A nice little nod to how much Mitch had become a father figure to him too. They hug before parting ways.

Inside again, Dawson is confronted by a friend of Gail's who is obscenely intrusive and I can't imagine anyone acting this way at a funeral. She asks him if he's dealing with his grief and how he's dealing with it which is just the rudest thing. Dawson tries to excuse himself but this woman keeps prying and it's like I'm sorry, lady do you know this kid who only barely remembers you as his mom's Deadhead friend? Why is she like this? The phone is ringing and the answering machine picks up which plays Mitch's voice on the recording and Dawson tries desperately to stop it before yanking the machine out of the wall. Everyone looks at him worryingly but Dawson insists he's fine. I really can't blame him for this, that woman was cartoonishly rude in an unbelievable way so would anyone react well to someone badgering you like that at a loved ones funeral? Like, can I just have a day to process? Are you my therapist? Get the hell out of my face. 

Joey tries to talk to Dawson, telling him a story about how she found a grocery list her mother had been writing after her death and broke down crying and that if what had happened to Dawson, happened to her, she'd have run away screaming. We all know that's true, Joey runs from everything. Dawson says he can't fall apart because he has to take care of his mother. Joey says that it's fine and understandable for Gail to be a wreck just like he's allowed to be a wreck too. Dawson admits that while he felt sympathy for Joey when her mom died, he didn't understand just how awful it felt. Joey tries to tell him that it gets better and Dawson finally lays out the reason he's upset is because he thinks he caused his dad's death. Joey tries to assure him that isn't the case but he insists that if he hadn't gone home, Mitch wouldn't have needed to go out for milk. Joey begs him not to do that to himself but Dawson is down that path already and the telling thing is how he thinks that had he listened to Mitch, he'd have been driving him to the airport instead of to his death that night. Also, funny side note Dawson thinks Mitch was distracted from the road because he was having an argument with him in his head but we all know that Mitch was really distracted by his lost ice cream and the crooning fun of Drift Away. 

Grams finally finds Gail outside by a tree and asks how she is. Gail says she's holding it together but you can tell how sad she is. Grams tells her that she always used to pray that she'd go first because she didn't think she was capable of living without her husband but she managed and it got easier with each passing day. Gail asks about what to do until it gets easier and Grams quips that prescription medication helps. They both laugh and hug. They both agree that falling in love is stupid and Grams wonders why they even do it but Gail thinks it's because that's all there is. It does suck, doesn't it? How deeply we love people that it shatters us when they're gone but otherwise, what would life be? Grams wishes she still lived next-door and offers to stay with her for a little while to help her with Lily. Gail thanks her but turns her down, saying that she and Dawson need to figure this out together.

Joey finds Dawson again and tells him that everyone is leaving. He's quick to say goodbye to her so she offers to stay as long as he needs. He tells her she has school to get back to but Joey says that it doesn't matter as much as this and offers again to stay. Dawson flat out tells her he wants to be alone so, be prepared for bullshit in the coming eps. Joey asks him to call her if he needs anything and he agrees so she leaves. 

Pacey finds Joey outside of the Potter B&B and sees she's upset. He tells her that when he dies, he hopes it's in a funny way so people can laugh, like being hit by a car full of clowns. Joey smiles and he tells her his mission is accomplished and god I miss my ship. How are they trying to push Joey and Dawson together again when Joey and Pacey clearly belong together? Joey mentions that Dawson blames himself for Mitch's death. She tells him they had a huge fight because Dawson wanted to drop out of USC and Pacey is confused about Dawson wanting to drop out of film school until he sees Joey's guilty face. Joey claims she didn't ask him to but that's not entirely true. I'll say they both made the stupid decision together. Pacey tells her that she and Dawson deserve their shot because they didn't really get one. Uh, yeah they did. Twice. But, it's nice that Pacey is supportive of her even when it hurts him unlike certain people who was the villain in season 3. You all know what I mean.

Gail has her own trip down memory lane as she has a flashback with Mitch about building Dawson's crib. He says he hopes his son is a freak because they don't peak in high school. He thinks sports teaches conformity which would be a sweet moment but lol, Mitch coached football in this very show. So, I guess he does like team sports somewhat. 

Dawson interrupts this sweet moment and asks if she's ok. She says she is but laments the fact that Lily is going to grow up not even knowing about him which is a devastating thought. Dawson losing his dad so young is awful enough but Lily won't have any memories of him and that's incredibly tragic. Gail wants him to have his life back but Dawson is adamant that he belongs home with her and Lily and he will make sure Lily hears about her dad every chance he gets. Gail says he doesn't have to be so strong all the time and that he can fall to pieces whenever he wants or needs. Dawson says he feels numb and that's fine for him for now.

Pacey pulls up outside of Dawson's house and sees a flower bed which triggers a memory of Mitch helping him learn to drive. Is it weird that I teared up the most during this scene? I don't know why but Josh is just way better at conveying emotion and playing off other actors than almost anyone else on the show, save for Michelle. Pacey is sad that his father isn't around much and Mitch tells him that any time he wants to practice, he can come knock on his door. 

Pacey then goes to knock on the door and get Dawson. He wants to take him for a drive. They drive to a long stretch of road and pull over and I swear to god, I thought he'd taken him to the place where he and Joey first kissed in Cinderella Story and was so confused. However, it is actually where Mitch died. You can see the skid marks left by the tires and Dawson is not pleased to be brought here. Pacey gets out of the car and begins giving a run down of what exactly happened according to his brother. Pacey reveals that a man named Gary Peters fell asleep at the wheel and ran into Mitch. That this man killed him and not Dawson. Pacey makes it very clear that Mitch's death was not his fault and he shouldn't blame himself. Grief is fine but blame is not and all that. Dawson looks unmoved because he's an asshole (I'm sorry, I know he's dealing with a lot but man he's just so unlikable even when I should be sympathizing with him). 

Joey is back in her dorm room with Audrey who asks what Mitch was like. Joey reminisces that he was the kind of dad you secretly wished you could have. Audrey asks how Dawson is doing and Joey finally unravels, saying she wouldn't know because he wanted nothing from her, not even to sit in silence together. He just wanted her out of his sight and with this said, she collapses on her bed crying. Audrey moves to comfort her a little awkwardly as if she's not sure she should but she's awesome for at least attempting to when Joey's not been the nicest to her. 

Dawson and Gail are in the kitchen when Gail picks up the milk and realizes it's empty. She starts to ask Dawson to run to the store to grab more but stops herself in sudden devastating deja vu and slams the carton into the garbage before breaking down sobbing over the sink. This scene had me in tears and it's acted so well, it was such a mundane thing that triggered a powerful response, you can see the disgust at herself and the fear and pain across her face and it's heartbreaking. Dawson tries to comfort her but she pushes him away, she just wants to release her pain in peace and quiet and I can totally relate. Sometimes, you just need to ugly cry without an audience. Then you want the hugs once that's done, at least for me personally. 

Dawson decides that his best course of action is to go to leave and so he goes to the store to pick up the milk. What else can he do, they need it and it isn't the needing milk that killed Mitch, it was that damn Drift Away song. Dobie Gray kills with his smooth vocals, y'all. Wait....that's literally what killed him, he got lost in that rock and roll and drifted away, his soul freed by the car that smashed into him. And let us not forget the ice cream.

Casualties of getting lost in that rock and roll.
RIP Ice cream cone and Mitch, friends to the end

Anyway, as Dawson is paying for his milk, the store keeper, Mr. Brennan, gives his condolences and mentions that Mitch was there before he died. Dawson knows but Mr. Brennan brought it up because Mitch talked his ear off about how proud he was of Dawson. He apologizes if hearing how Mitch gushed about him makes him sad but he figured he ought to know. Dawson thanks him and then goes out to his car where he finally breaks down crying. It's really sad and yes I cried but James' acting did not improve from the last time he had to cry. So, the tragic scene kind of made me laugh again. Oops.

We end the episode with Mitch preparing his camera to take a family photo, the same one we saw near the beginning of the episode. It's the last family photo they took. Dawson teases them about having too many photos but they take it anyway and then Dawson is off to meet his friends to go to the movies. Is this a rewrite of how the last night together happened or is this another time before he left for college? It's just funny that it feels like the same moment from the end of season 4 where he and Dawson had a fight about him going to the movies. We end with Mitch staring out at the creek looking happy and at peace and that is the last we see of Mitch on Dawson's Creek. 

I'm not sure if I actually proved I had a heart with this recap because I mostly made fun of the death and James' cry face again but I swear I was crying while watching it. I never do well when death is covered on a show or movie. No matter how bad they deal with it, I end up crying because it brings up too many painful memories of my own. It's a hard episode to get through and much as I did make fun a little, they handled it very well, I thought. There were a few moments that felt odd here and there but I think they nailed the feeling of losing a parent very well. Next, we'll see how the gang is holding up in Use Your Disillusion.