Dawson's Creek - 420 - Promicide

 Original air date: May 2, 2001

Well, we are finally here. What this entire season was building to and it sucks. Remember last season? So much hope, so much steaminess, so much love being discovered. This season it's all been so bleak and is culminating in just the bleakest prom/dance yet for our gang. Let's just jump right into it because we are getting so much closer to Joey's Creek aka The College Years. 

To punctuate my point, this episode starts off with Joey trying on a dress. Bessie thinks she looks radiant and Pacey agrees. Bessie runs out to pick up Alexander from somewhere unspecified, leaving Joey and Pacey alone. Joey asks if he likes the dress and he confirms again but Joey thinks he cares more about the after prom removal of the dress. Oddly, Pacey changes the subject and then asks her to get the prom tickets since his poor academic standing has rendered him on the do not sell to list. She agrees and asks if he remembered the limo which he did and promises that everything about this night is going to be perfect. This hurts a lot. He insists on perfection even though Joey says she doesn't care about perfection which is just going to be all the more heartbreaking come the conclusion of this episode. Pacey tries to get a loose string off her dress but it's not so loose and ends up ripping her dress.

This shouldn't be a big deal but it is to Pacey who already feels like a fuck up.

Jen, Jack, and Tobey are hanging out and Tobey is regaling them with a horror story of his prom while they all laugh. He leaves but is super pumped about their prom and it's kind of obvious he's hoping Jack will invite him along. Jen points this out after he leaves but Jack doesn't want to lead him on. Jen thinks he's being ridiculous but Jack won't hear it and insists she pick out her dress because they are going together as friends and he thinks she's using Tobey to get out of prom.

Joey, Jen, and Gretchen are out shopping for dresses. Joey is just helping them since she already has hers. Both Jen and Gretchen feel silly in their dresses but are assured they look great. Meanwhile, Jack and Dawson are getting fitted for tuxes and we find out that Dawson has allowed Pacey to pick up his corsage and take care of the limo so I guess they are sort of kind of friends again? It's unclear. It seems like they mutually tolerate each other since Pacey is dating Dawson's best friend and Dawson is dating Pacey's sister. Anyway, this detail is important for later. Gretchen is stoked about being with Dawson and having that awesome job opportunity in Boston. Jack asks Dawson about after prom sex to which Dawson coyly doesn't respond but makes rather obvious his intentions. Joey asks Jen about how she's doing since she seems really sad after their trip to New York. Jen is terrified of the future and still haunted by the past and I'm just like, girl why didn't you just stay with therapy then? What else is to come from this storyline? Joey laments to Jen about how Pacey is apparently not touching her anymore and it's making her insecure. Jen suggests that she try making the first move and Joey agrees but is still terrified that Pacey isn't just waiting for her to make the first move.

Gretchen runs into Dawson after the store and informs him that she did not, in fact, get the job in Boston. Ouch. Apparently, they really liked her and thought she'd be a perfect fit but that she lacks a degree and experience. This is where I get pissed that people say it's a waste of time to get an Arts degree. If that's what people are interested in, they will absolutely need a degree because all those jobs want degrees and experience and by the way, can you start at minimum wage? WHY IS THIS GENERATION POOR THOUGH?? They must be lazy, right? I am being super sarcastic right now, the problem is the job creators are maximizing their profit on the backs of the more than productive working force. Shoot, I'm getting too political and this is just Dawson's Creek. Back to it, Dawson wants to call off prom but Gretchen won't hear of it. She wants his night to be awesome so she's gonna suck up her disappointment and go.

Jen is talking to Tobey on the phone and being a complete shit disturber by telling him that Jack totally wanted to ask him to prom but was too scared. Tobey is rightfully dubious but Jen digs her heels in and plays the best friend card and tells him that Jack really wants Tobey to go with him and that he should just call him up and say yes. Jen...major best friend fail. He told you he didn't want to get serious with Tobey or lead him on and you just trampled his very clear boundary. 

Joey and Pacey are hanging out when she points out that they are completely alone together and that maybe they could get up to some sexy times. Pacey quickly stands up and claims he really wants a turkey sandwich. He offers to get her one and she politely declines while looking super sad. Oof, that's rough to put yourself out there like that and have them not even acknowledge it but completely change the subject on you. Makes you feel super unsexy and unwanted. Also, we know something is majorly wrong here because Pacey was always the one going nuts about sleeping with Joey and now he's like meh. This is not good, guys.

Jack phones Jen up and coolly asks her about the whole Tobey thing. Jen brings up the Henry thing which is pretty valid. She also said she didn't want to date her and he set them up on that pseudo date thing. Not cool. However, Jack doesn't care because he's not mad, he's getting even. He makes her promise she's going to prom no matter what and then hangs up the phone. The doorbell rings and Jen opens the door to find Drue who tells her that Jack told her everything and that he'd love to go to prom with her. Ooooh, that is a low blow. 

Dawson's parents are fawning over Dawson outside their home as they take pictures of him with his sister. Joey comes up to the house and everyone makes a big deal about how good Joey looks. Joey looks alright but just like wait until you see Jen. She looks fabulous. Anyway, Gretchen and Pacey show up but when they ask him for the corsages, they are wilted and gross. Pacey forgot to refrigerate them, whoops. Dawson saves the day by suggesting they cut some flowers from his mother's garden and he jokes about hoping Pacey didn't forget the limo. Pacey is not impressed. Joey and Gretchen hold Lily while Pacey storms off without telling Joey where he's going. Drew shows up and wants to hold the baby and no one is having it. I'm really glad the other characters hate him as much as I do. No baby for you!

Jack goes to pick up Tobey who is clearly a nervous wreck and anxious to leave his house because his parents aren't too cool with him going to prom with a guy even though they know he's gay. Jack is stunned because he's never seen the lead singer of Semisonic without his glasses before. No, I will never let that die. 

Jen has arrived and she looks gorgeous even though everyone is making a big deal about Joey, who yes looks very nice as well but like, come on with this smoking hot sultry old school Hollywood glam look Jen is serving us:

I love this look.
Joey's dress is nice but they put zero effort in her hair,
a slicked back low ponytail? Yawn

Jen spots Drew and gets an oh crap face before finding Jack and Tobey and calling him out on his cruelty. Jack thinks it's hilarious but Jen doesn't think the punishment fits the crime. Jack offers for her to hang out with them all night and help her avoid Drew and Jen is fine with that because she plans on having fun tonight. Jack says he plans on the same thing and Tobey, clearly confused with what they're talking about also says he'd like to have fun.

Joey finds Pacey and asks him to help her with her corsage. Pacey obliges and tells her she looks great in the dress even though he ripped it. Joey tells him that it wasn't his fault and he pauses for a moment before telling her that the night is going to be good. Gail calls them all out for the limo which has now shown up and is clearly some discount garbage limo. This really doesn't check out for Pacey...he seemed determined to make it a good night for Joey but then calls a discount limo service? I don't get it. Unless it implies that he's strapped for cash and now can't offer the things he did before like fancy nights, walls for painting, or fixing up a boat. He'd definitely be too proud to ask Dawson to pitch in but it seems like all of them are going together so why not everyone pitch in some money? I don't get this plot point but Pacey done goofed again and still everyone pretends like it's all ok.

They have stopped at a mini mart and Drew tries to get Gretchen to buy him some alcohol. She refuses because he's the worst and she's not about to have him get drunk and be even more despicable than he already is. Good call. Tobey sees snowballs in the junk food aisle and wants to buy some. Jack admits he likes them too and Tobey is happy they have so much in common while Jack looks uncomfortable. 

Pacey and Jen have stayed behind in the limo and surprise, Jen has alcohol. Pacey declines her offer because he has to take a breathalyzer later because of his drunk and disorderly from a couple episodes prior. Pacey also can't understand why everyone is so happy and carefree since the future isn't going to hold the promise they think it will. Pacey is not in a good place right now, if you can't tell.

Meanwhile Dawson is grabbing a box of condoms because he's hoping to get lucky with Gretchen tonight. He tries to be quick and stealth but he bumps into Joey and drops the box. She picks it up for him and realizes what it is as she hands it over. Things get awkward.

At the prom, which is on a boat, Gretchen is finally hit with the hard truth that she, as a 21 year old woman has been dating a high schooler. Dawson tells her no one really notices anyone else which is pretty true, no one pays attention to those outside their friend groups anyway. It doesn't make her feel better though and so Dawson tells her she could just say she's a chaperone which makes her laugh and be endeared but I'd honestly be pissed, even more mortified. Drew is still following Jen around and he reveals that Jack is going to pay him to do so and intends to get paid. Dude, that's cold.

Jack and Tobey are chatting about past boyfriends and Jack laments about how good looking Ethan was. Tobey reveals that his heart was broken too by a really good looking guy who looked like Ted Danson. Jack snickers because Ted Danson is like 50 at that point and Tobey amends his statement to say a young Ted Danson. I...don't understand the appeal. He's great on The Good Place but good looking? Ehhhhhhhhhhh...

He's definitely not my type but to be fair,
I'm a picky bitch and don't click with a lot of people

Joey tries to confront Pacey about what his major malfunction is lately but he won't tell her. Guys, I hate Pacey in this scene and it pains me to say it but he is projecting so much of his own issues on to Joey and it's unfair to the extreme. I understand that he feels like crap but it doesn't give him any right to put all that onto Joey when she is only trying to help him and be supportive. Too many people do this to their partners, invent elaborate stories in their heads about how they're feeling about you and then lashing out, it's toxic and unfair. This is where I have to talk about a pet peeve of mine and this show is not doing it but I just want to bring it up, often times we give people behaving badly towards their significant others a pass because of their past. Pacey has that in spades, an abusive home life, an adult who took advantage of him, a girlfriend who cheated on him and went through her own mental breakdown, performing poorly in school, and watching his friends move past him. It's all bad and I do feel bad for him but while this all explains his behaviour, please be careful not to use it to excuse his behaviour. His life is shit right now, but it's still no excuse to take it all out on Joey and it's only going to get worse. He gets mad at her for getting mad at him no matter how he acts when she's just like trying to ask him what's wrong. I feel like this is a thing from people from abusive backgrounds, they always assume that people are mad at them or yelling when the person is talking at normal levels and literally only trying to find out what's wrong so they can help. It's a defense mechanism, sure but it still doesn't make it right. Joey asks him to stop acting and just talk to her but Pacey has nothing left to say and storms off. Ugh, this hurts. 

Jen is super drunk and since they're on a boat, she is reenacting the famous Titanic scene, you know the one. She's king of the world and all that. Drew finds her and sees she's very drunk. He's whatever about it as he tries to convince her to hide her drunkenness but when Jen starts to talk about jumping in the water and disappearing, he gets very serious very quick. He tries to pull her down but she pulls back and tells him to go to hell. Normally, I'd be happy with that but Drew is actually trying to be good here and even though I know what happens, she genuinely terrified me and I was worried for her. Michelle Williams is too good for this show, she makes you feel every ounce of pain Jen feels and it pulls you into the moment even when you know she'll be fine. I can't stan her enough.

Dawson and Gretchen are having a good time when he sees Joey looking sad. Gretchen urges him to go and talk to her and he suggests they both go over. Gretchen wants to get some air and pushes him to talk to her alone. Dawson obliges and asks her where Pacey is. She doesn't know and doesn't want to talk about it which is fair. She also doesn't want to talk about the condom thing which is also super fair. But then, of course, she has to ask if they've been having sex to which Dawson says no but that he's hoping to tonight because it feels right. Joey is glad that he's crossing that milestone with Gretchen because she can see how much they like each other. Dawson admits that he wishes it were with Joey because she was his first love. Joey tells him that she also will never love anyone the way she loved him which is a good and a bad thing. Dawson asks her to dance and they go out onto the dance floor.

Pacey finds Gretchen on the boat deck, drinking and she offers him some. He declines and asks her what's troubling her so much that she'd drink whatever the drink is (I'm sorry I'm an alcohol idiot and I didn't care to look. I think it was just a flask of something). She tells him she's bummed she's at the prom, again. Her prom was four years ago and now she's back and for the first time she didn't just feel older than Dawson, she felt old. Pacey admits he's still a junior and doesn't even technically belong here. She's too old to be here and he's too young, Gretchen thinks they're quite a pair. Pacey then admits that he's been very angry since getting back from the fishing trip with Doug but that he's angry with Joey and he doesn't know why. Gretchen urges him to talk to her but...I think if she knew what were about to happen, she'd tell him to try once they docked and were away from people.

Jack and Tobey are laughing and having a good time together until Tobey makes the egregious error of asking Jack to dance. Jack gets super defensive and accuses him of ruining the good night they've been having by making it romantic when they are just platonic. Tobey calls bullshit because he thinks Jack feels something too and rightly tells him that whatever Jack is scared of is not his fault and Jack should figure it out or risk missing out in the future. I like that he didn't just imply he was a good thing that Jack would be missing out on but points out that Jack is in danger of shutting himself off from any relationships in the future. 

Pacey walks back inside to find Dawson and Joey dancing together and laughing. He looks super pissed because he realizes he's taken on the Dawson role this season while Dawson is actually the one effortlessly letting Joey have a good time. That pained me to write. This episode is depressing. Anyway, Gretchen comes in and also looks upset by Dawson and Joey. Joey notices and stops dancing and clarifies that it's all that was happening. Hell, you weren't dancing with her Pacey, what was she supposed to do? Be miserable at this fun party on a boat? He's not buying it and finally lets all of his emptions explode out in front of their whole graduating class. I hate it. 

Ok, so he tells her that he didn't feel anything seeing them together even though it's the happiest he's seen her in weeks. Joey wants to take this outside but Pacey wants to air it out now so that she wouldn't clean up another one of his messes. Dawson tries to cut in but Pacey yells at him to back off. He then just digs in to Joey. He asks why she's with him and admits that he has no idea why he's with her. (ow) Then he says he feels like her little charity project and when she says (rightfully) that this is not about her but about his feelings (see my above rant about explanation vs excuse) he shoots that down and tells her it is about her. He says that his feelings are not his fault (this is true, he's got a lot of baggage thrown on him but it's also not Joey's fault) and that he feels like he's nothing when he's with her, he's just a big fuck up who fails school and forgets the limo and kills the corsage. Joey protests and says that she doesn't care about any of that but it sets him off further because he wants her to care. He doesn't want her to accept him as is because he clearly hates himself and doesn't get why she's not hating him too. This is excellent writing and character development which I never thought I would say on rewatch. I hated this scene when I was younger, it felt like extreme character assassination and I don't think I fully understood that a good person who is under intense emotional distress can actually act completely out of character and rather harshly like Pacey is. I understand it better, it was a great set up. I still hate it. I hate it for Joey, I hate it for all the people that have been on the receiving end of this type of outburst from someone they love. I hate it but I understand it. Joey asks if Pacey is done but he's only just getting started so Joey tells him to stop and go to hell which is very fucking fair. I'm sorry, Pacey. I understand your hurt but you fucking sucked here. Get help. 

Meanwhile, Jen is still threatening to jump overboard and Drew is frantically trying to talk her down. She tries to push him away and loses her balance but Drew manages to catch her and pull her back onto the boat. Jen then immediately goes to the railing and vomits over the side of the boat. Lovely. 

Joey has found a semi quiet place on the boat and Dawson comes after her. She is crying and says that he humiliated her in front of a room full of people and none of what he said is true. Dawson gives her his jacket and assures her she's right. She says again how it's not who she is and it sounds like she's trying desperately to convince herself of this fact and I just want to give her a big hug because I have been there and it is not a fun place to be. She just wants to go home and Dawson holds her while she cries because that's all they can do, they're trapped until the boat docks. 

Jen admits to Drew that she really doesn't want to go to New York and that she actually hates it because she's changed but she feels weak for not being able to go back. Drew actually consoles her and tells her that she's strong and she shouldn't go back when she can go forward. He suggests Boston because he's going there too and I have a bit of dread that they're setting him up to be in the college years and I had to remind myself that I'm pretty sure he wasn't there but still, damn it writers. You spent all season making us hate Drew and succeeded in spades, you can't make him part of the gang now. It just doesn't work. 

Jack finds Tobey on the boat deck and apologizes for his outburst. He admits that his feelings for him are way more than platonic and that he was afraid of those feelings so he lashed out. He then said that he used to be put off by how out and open he was but now that's the thing that really attracts him to Tobey. He then kisses him and Tobey asks him again if he wants to dance. They laugh so at least one couple is happy tonight?

Dawson finds Gretchen outside and apologizes for taking off after Joey. She says it's fine because now she knows what she has to do and what she has to do is dump his ass. Dawson is confused because she told him to go after Joey but it's more than just her, it's how much he's still in high school and she's not and she wants to move forward with her life and go back to college to figure herself out. Dawson isn't ready for this to be over but we all saw this coming. Gretchen apologizes and kisses him goodbye. 

Pacey finds Joey alone at a table and she doesn't look like she wants to see him right now which is super fair. Pacey dives in by explaining how much he hates himself and how much he's grown to resent her for loving him in spite of how worthless he thinks he is. He finally acknowledges that all his failures and shortcomings have nothing to do with her but admits that if they stay together, he's probably going to take them out on her. Joey tells him that the way he treats her is entirely in his control but he says that they're on two different paths anyway. Joey argues that Boston and Capeside are less than an hour away from each other but Pacey is adamant that she wants to get out because she deserves better than Capeside and since he is Capeside, she deserves better than him. Joey is not happy with this answer and honestly, I can't say it better than her so her it is. 

My thoughts exactly, Joey

Very fair and very heartbreaking for my favourite ship. We end the episode with everyone just miserable in the car, except for Jack and Tobey, the only couple to survive this promicide. I guess you should only start a relationship at prom than go to prom already in one? Is that the lesson? The driver asks them if they want to go to an after party but they're all super done just like I'm done with this heavy and depressing episode of realness.

The writers actually did a great job at setting up Pacey's insecurities and because Josh is a great actor, you really feel his self loathing and pain as he takes it out on Joey but as I said before, just because it's well written and just because it's well set up, does not make his behaviour ok. Explanation does not equal excuse. He treated Joey like shit this episode and she didn't deserve it. She's going through her own stuff but I never once doubted she cared for Pacey and she didn't deserve to get ripped to shreds in front of her class for things Pacey largely built up inside his own head. It's gut wrenching but at least it's over now. And you know what? We still have 3 episodes left. 3! How? Where else is there to go from here? It's all so bleak and depressing, honestly if I were to describe 2020 in a season of television, it would be this chunk of episodes in season 4 of Dawson's Creek because they are so bleak and hard to get through right now. Next episode is Separation Anxiety and we can only hope something good happens for our crew but I'm not that hopeful...another familiar feeling in this dumpster fire of a year.