Dawson's Creek - 412 - The Te of Pacey

Original air date: January 17, 2001

Seeing Pacey's name in the episode title gives me joy because it's going to be an episode centered around him but be warned, you will need tissues. We have also officially reached the halfway point of this season which brings me ever closer to the amusing college years. I can think of no better image to use as the headliner for this recap than a trusted classic that personifies an episode centered around Pacey:

Thank you, Pacey-Con for this amazing and infinitely useful gif

We start the episode with Joey wishing a very unenthusiastic and sleepy Pacey a Happy Birthday. Pacey thinks his birthday is cursed and thus, doesn't want to celebrate it at all this year. I do love how when Pacey bemoans his cursed birthday Joey quips that at least he's not being dramatic about it. I laughed. Pacey recounts a few bad birthdays, including the year depicted in the second season where he failed his driver's test and threw a party that no one showed up to. Ahem, Andie begs to differ. She even got you a magic 8 ball. Sure, she immediately dropped it in the creek but that's besides the point. Also, people showed up to your party, they just didn't know it was your party, I think. Anyway, Pacey wants to only celebrate if it's just him and Joey together. She promises him that will be the case but has oh shit face on so you know that's not going to be what happens.

Dawson and Jack are hanging out again and Jack is asking about Dawson's date with Gretchen. Dawson isn't sure if he's excited or terrified. Jack thinks this is because he hasn't told Pacey and Joey yet which is odd because I thought they both already kind of knew but also, what does it matter if they know? Dawson says he'll tell them if they ask and so will Gretchen and Jack laughs asking Dawson to tell him how that goes. See, I don't mind this except for the fact that Dawson pulled a huge bitch fit last season about how Pacey and Joey should have told him sooner when they had been trying but were afraid of the very reaction he gave and also hadn't been dating long. If your big argument this season is that you would have been fine if they'd told you sooner, then you kind of owe them the same courtesy or you're a hypocrite. Who are we kidding though? We all know that's what Dawson is.

Gretchen asks Joey what they are doing for Pacey's birthday and Joey answers that they'll probably do something quiet and alone. Oh girl, you are digging that hole so much deeper. Pacey is leafing through letters and stops when he gets to one before excusing himself to put shoes on, leaving Joey and Gretchen alone together.

Joey quickly asks Gretchen what she's doing that night, explaining that she's throwing a last minute surprise birthday for Pacey at the Witter household. Gretchen is like no way, bad idea. The Witter parents are insane and Pacey will kill her. Joey knows how bad an idea it was but it was Mrs. Witter's idea and she sounded so sweet that Joey couldn't say no. Oh, we're going to finally meet mom Witter? Cool. I thought she was a myth or that only the dad existed. Gretchen lies her face off about not having any plans and agrees to come but also notes that Pacey will kill Joey.

Jen and Grams are doing decoupage together (some writer on the show thought this was the most hilarious pastime because this show has brought it up a few times) and Jen remarks how spaced Grams seems. Grams is too giddy to notice until Jen calls her out for thinking about sex. Grams denies it but Jen presses the subject since she's now dating Mr. Brooks. Grams sees through her and calls her out for trying to fluster her to either get out of decoupage or avoid the remainder of her community service tonight but Grams says she's stuck with both. I love sassy Grams. More of her, please.

Dawson goes to his parent's fish restaurant to ask Gretchen where she wants to go on their date. She informs him that they're actually going to Pacey's birthday at her parents house. Dawson isn't sure about that as a good first date and Gretchen reveals that she wants to postpone the whole first date thing anyway. Dawson does not take it well. He asks her if she's worried about Pacey and Joey's feelings about their dating as much as she's worried about being ashamed to go on a date with him. Me personally, I think it's the latter, but Gretchen is insistent that it's because of Pacey and Joey. Honestly, it really shouldn't be up to them who either Gretchen or Dawson date and you'd think they'd understand that after what Dawson put them through to date and be better but I guess we'll see. Gretchen wants to keep their dating a secret which doesn't thrill Dawson and, for once, I can't blame him. He tells her that if she needs to hide something then she probably shouldn't be doing it. Oh man, am I agreeing with Dawson again? 

We next go to Jen where she is getting ready to start her shift at the safe driving thing to complete her community service for that bullshit drug stuff that Drew put her through. I have some brief dread that we're going to be dealing with him again but nope. Instead, Jen is paired with Toby. Remember Toby? The "too gay to function" gay from last episode that Jack hated because he's #notlikeothergays? This should be fun. I'm super thrilled and not upset at all that he's back and most likely also going to be staying for the rest of the season. Whee. Jen asks him what he's here for and he quips that it's a great place to meet guys, the drunker the better and I can't decide if he's serious or joking but either way, I'm going to have to side eye him for that one. 

I've got my eye on you, Toby

Jen, bless her heart, is far more stoked than I am and given her choices I suppose Toby isn't the worst. She immediately starts to invite him to Pacey's birthday party though and girl, there is so much wrong with that. Not only is he a stranger to most of your group of friend, you are not throwing the party, nor are you hosting it, and also, Jack doesn't like Toby. Why are you doing this? To give me further proof about how this is a bad idea, Toby questions Jack's own sexuality because he doesn't act like an actual gay so...I don't know what to call this. This is new to me. Is this further pushing the #notlikeothergays thing or is this something new? Either way, it feels really gross and like gatekeeping. That's what this is, gatekeeping. Toby is #GatekeeperofGays and deems who is worthy to call themselves gay. Man, I'm going to hate this storyline, I can already tell, I'm just not sure who I'm going to end up hating more in this, Jack or Toby. They're both pretty insufferable right now. Toby is worried Jen is trying to set them up (so am I) but she assures them she just wants them to be friends because Jack is lonely.

Joey is leading Pacey by blindfold to his unknowing doom but he's still in blissful ignorance right now. He guesses where she's taking him and paints a very specific scenario of her feeding him birthday cake on a beach while serenading him and he points out that she'll be off key of course which is just the subtlest little jab and makes me laugh about what's to come. Anyway, she reveals that they are at his home and his mood immediately drops. I feel so bad for him right now. They walk inside and Mr. Witter is just watching tv, notices they've come in and gives a lackluster surprise. His mother calls from the kitchen, sad to have missed it but still big oof. And, you want to know who Pacey's mom is? Fucking Jane Lynch!!

It's a Dawson's Creek/Glee crossover special!!

Doug comes in to be just the worst to Pacey because that's the theme of this episode, Pacey's family is the worst and treats him like shit. Or maybe his family is just the worst all around because one of his sisters who has the kids reaches for some chips and Mr. Witter tells her she's eating like a cow and he's not surprised her husband left her. He then launches into this story about when he turned 18, he was serving his country and celebrated with a hooker? Gross. Mrs. Witter chimes in that just because Pacey isn't serving his country doesn't make him less of a man and she's sure they'd take him if he applied himself. You know, hearing some subtle Sue snark coming out of Jane Lynch but delivered in a sweet motherly tone is almost more upsetting and cruel than when she's just straight up Sue. She proceeds to call Joey, Johanna and Pacey tries to correct her but she thinks she said the right name anyway so, clearly, there's no point. 

Jack sits down near Mr. Witter who asks him who the hell he is. Jack is puzzled, unsure if he's talking to him but yes, Mr. Witter wants to know who Jack is. Jack points out that they sailed a boat together before but Mr. Witter has no recollection of this. Poor Jack. I remember that episode pretty fondly as the girls have a sleepover episode but Mr. Witter was also terrible there and I don't think he was redeemed in that one. Pacey just lamented to him while passed out drunk about how much he'd grown and how he just wished his father would see it and it was heartbreaking and sad. So, just remember to get those tissues handy. 

Pacey gets Joey alone and asks her what the hell she was thinking. She defends herself by saying that his family wanted to throw him a party and she couldn't refuse. She uses the dead mom/jailed dad guilt trip without bringing them up but the sentiment is there because she talks about how they're family and he should be happy they made an effort. Girl, some people have shit families and they're not better off just because they have both parents. Pacey thinks they will only see him as a failure and when Joey asks what he means, he brushes her off. She promises they'll get through the night but Pacey is obviously doubtful.

Gretchen confronts Dawson, who has been avoiding her most of the party and comments how he's a master at giving the cold shoulder. Oh, honey. You have no idea. Dawson is a passive aggressive pro! Dawson points out that she's the one that told him that they should keep their whole thing a secret and like, there are tons of people around. She asks him to come play Monopoly with her and the kids and Dawson begrudgingly agrees. 

Jen is doing the ride share thing with Toby and asks him about the boyfriend he supposedly has. Toby gushes about how amazing "Greg" is and right away you can kind of see he's making it all up. He might as well just say Greg lives in Canada or something for how made up he sounds. (I gather this is the thing Americans do when they make up a significant other is to say they are from Canada). 

Back at the party, Joey finds Pacey and asks if he's still mad at her. He isn't mad at her though, he's upset about something else. Joey asks him what but Pacey stammers over himself and asks if they can just take a walk for now. Mr. Witter interrupts them before they can escape because he wants to talk to Joey. At least he can get her name right? Joey obliges which gives Pacey little choice. Mr. Witter then thanks Joey for putting thoughts of college into Pacey's head and Joey says she can't take all the credit for that. It's almost a sweet scene but you see, Mr. Witter wants someone to blame for putting big dreams in Pacey's head because then he has to finance another drop out's half-assed education. I hate it. Joey tries to steer the conversation into a positive place by saying that she thinks Pacey will do great but Mr. Witter is convinced that if he doesn't drop out, he'll flunk out and that it's all a waste of time and money. Mrs. Witter then comes in to sweetly make everything so much worse. 

Mrs. Witter: Oh, honey. Just because Pacey flunked a class or two in high school, doesn't mean he's going to do the same thing in college. Right, sweetie? But I have faith in you, and I know that one day my faith will pay off. So, no matter how many times you let us down, sweetie, my faith will be there to pick you right back up.

Ugh, how is she way meaner trying to be a sweet mom than as actual bully, Sue Sylvester? This is so hard to watch, she's so pleasant but being so condescending and mean. The torture continues as the two of them reminisce about how they always knew Gretchen was destined for college but Pacey? Mr. Witter said that Pacey once wanted to be a veterinarian but Mrs. Witter always chimed in with "Dog groomer, honey. What about dog groomer?" I hate them both.

In the basement, Gretchen is plugging in a lamp for the kids and suddenly the room is filled with tiny lights that float all over the room. It's very pretty. Gretchen tells a story about how her grandmother gave the lamp to her and told her a story about some girl that danced among the stars. Look, this is Gretchen and Dawson's subplot so my bias means that I kind of tuned this out. Dawson and Gretchen are boring. Mrs. Witter calls them up to dinner.

Upstairs, Joey tries to cheer Pacey up by telling him not to listen to his very rude parents and that he's going to do great in college. Pacey doesn't believe her and wonders if he's too stupid to do anything worthwhile with his life. Joey asks him what's up because she doesn't think his mood is just about his birthday. He asks her to the basement to talk but when they get there, they find Dawson and Gretchen making out. Pacey is upset and leaves and Joey follows him, Dawson makes the most annoying face I think I've ever seen. 

You just know he's thinking "yeah, I got you back for being with Joey!"

Everyone is at the dinner table and Mrs. Witter announces that in honour of Pacey's birthday, she made his favourite: chipped beef on toast. Except, that's not his favourite, it's Doug's favourite. Pacey hates chipped beef on toast and I can't blame him. That sounds like the blandest meal. I'm pretty sure people call it shit on shingles. Of course, Doug loves it. Pacey points this out but his mother doesn't believe her own son telling her he hates it. She's awful. I've got to say, Jane Lynch is nailing this roll. She is so obliviously mean and sweet at the same time, it's chilling. 

Dawson tries to apologize to Joey about how she found out but she's not really having it. I don't really understand why she is so upset about this. It really doesn't affect her at all and she really has no leg to stand on here. She's with Pacey, what does she care who Dawson dates? Anyway, she leaves in a huff and Gretchen comes in. She grills Dawson about what he told Joey until Dawson gets mad and asks her what her problem is. He comes to the conclusion that all her worrying wasn't about anyone else's feelings or coming clean but solely her own issues and he wants her to figure them out. He then storms off. 

Gretchen then confronts Pacey and asks how she can fix everything. Pacey wants her to stick to her own dramas because they're more entertaining. She asks him what's up and he hints at a conversation that he has to have with Joey but is not at all looking forward to but he won't tell her what and ducks out of the conversation. We cut to a brief montage of all the crazy party goers that Jen and Toby have to drive home, probably for a bit of levity in an otherwise wholly depressing episode. 

Back at the party, Pacey is opening gifts. The first we see him open is an ashtray, Pacey doesn't smoke and quips that he's been meaning to start. That is just the worst gift ever, his sister (not Gretchen, the other one) sucks. That gift screams I don't care so I didn't try. She should be ashamed. Next up is his father who points out the one he got Pacey. It's fireworks. Pacey thanks him in an unenthusiastic way. Mrs. Witter than says that they should share memories they have of Pacey. She starts with just the most cutting of commentary of his childhood:

Mrs. Witter: I guess I'll go first. And, uh, my memory would have to be when Pacey was a baby. It was such a relief to finally have a late bloomer. Never bothered anybody. Used to fall asleep in cardboard boxes.

Like, she delivers this in a way where it's clearly a fond memory to her but it's so fucking mean. Why is she worse than Sue? His stupid sister brings up the fact that he was so chill, they almost forgot him at the ice cream store. Doug jumps in to say how hilarious it was that they almost abandoned a child at the ice cream store and that a stranger had to frantically wave them down as Pacey cried. He was so upset that he peed his pants, apparently which Doug repeats several times to the delight of the children. Gretchen sees how upset Pacey is getting and tries to swoop in with a nice story about how Pacey jumped to her rescue when she was being bullied. She calls him brave but Mr. Witter comments that he's also stupid because the bully beat Pacey to a pulp and he came home crying. Mrs. Witter remembers this part, of course. Then his dumb sister, who cannot read the room at all, jumps in with a story about how Pacey got up early to make pancakes but managed to set the kitchen on fire and that's how the family dog died of smoke inhalation. Oooooooofffffff. Why? Why would you bring that up? His family suuuucks! Pacey is very visibly upset now and the room goes awkwardly silent as no one knows what the hell to say after a disturbingly morbid story like that. 

Mr. Witter tries to cut the silence with his own Pacey story but Pacey has had enough. He launches into a giant tirade about no one ever gives him a break and they all just expect him to fuck up but that he can't even fight against it anymore because the letter he got today, at the beginning of the episode? That was a rejection letter from his safety school, the one that he thought he actually had a chance at getting in closed its doors to him so his father's wallet can breathe easy because he's probably not going at all. He storms out of the room and opens the door to find Jen and Toby who try to sing him happy birthday but he charges past them. They missed a lot.

Dawson offers to take Joey to find Pacey but she doesn't want to be trapped with him. I can relate. Pacey took her car though, so she's stuck with Dawson. Tough break.

Jack is offering cake and sees that Toby is at the party, much to his disdain. He walks over to make small talk and Toby is immediately on the offensive. Jack tries to ask him how the club is and Toby lays it on thick how it's a gay club for gay kids where they talk about all things gay, because he just wants to drive the point home that Jack is #notlikeothergays but in the gatekeeper-y way. Jack peaces out as Jen watches the scene unfold and gives Toby a "what the hell are you doing?" look. 

Pictured: Jen and her fabulous hair being very disappointed in Toby

Joey lets Dawson know that she doesn't give a crap about him and Gretchen because she has bigger things on her mind. Dawson says he's not sure what they are anyway because Gretchen doesn't ever want to discuss it. Joey then softens and explains the Witter mentality of shutting down when things get to be too much, not because they don't care, but because they care too much.  Joey is upset because she made Pacey feel bad and Dawson tells her that it's not her fault he didn't get into college but she says it's her fault that she missed the signs that he was hurting. She worries she made things worse by talking about how good he'd be in college. Dawson points out that Joey always sees the best in people and they decide to head back to the Witter house to see if he'll show back up there.

Pacey is down by the docks and it's weird that Joey didn't think of this when she knows how much True Love meant to him. Mr. Witter finds him but it's because he got a call at the station about some creepy guy lurking on the docks. He then tells Pacey that he was rejected the first time he applied to the police academy. Remember that I told you to get some tissues ready? Well, take them out now because you're going to need them and I'm going to put a full quote in here because this is one of very few times that Mr. Witter is a genuine father to Pacey.

Mr. Witter: Now, look, son. I--I know that I’ve been hard on you about school, and, uh... It's not because I don't think you're good enough to go or to get in. Pacey, I just don't know if it's the right thing for you. I don't know if it's ever been right for you. But ask me if I think that you're meant to do great things...

I mean, he's still garbage because the language he uses about Pacey and his other kids is pretty crap but this is something. You can't just beat down your kid all the time, they need to hear you say these things to them or they won't have the confidence to do the great things you think they're capable of. Shame is not a great motivator, it's more likely to make people give up and resign to their fate. 

Mr. Witter then finally tells his Pacey story and keep those tissues out because it involves his tenth birthday. He bought him fireworks then and Pacey told him how it was the best present he's ever gotten so now the fireworks present makes sense and his dad got them for him not because he didn't care but because he wanted to see Pacey happy again, like when he was ten. I mean, it's not realistic but there was heart behind the present after all and that's just really sweet. Mr. Witter tells Pacey how happy he was when he set them off and how happy it made him in turn and I could swear I got rid of the onions in this house but someone must be chopping some somewhere...

One of very few times Pacey is happy with his dad

Jen and Toby are driving back to the community center and Jen remarks that she might just keep doing the safe rides thing. Toby thinks nothing is what they seem and Jen is like, kind of how you were mean to Jack because Greg isn't real. Toby acts like she's crazy but she says that she knows he likes Jack because he goes out of his way to be mean to him. I don't know if I like that dynamic. I know a lot of people love it but I really don't. The ONLY time I've liked that reveal was with Anne of Green Gables and it's because Gilbert was only mean to her when they were both kids and hadn't sorted stuff like that out but when he got older, he was always nice to her but she just hated him so much from how he behaved as a kid that she pushed him away and didn't see it. By the time you are 18, you shouldn't be behaving this way. If you like someone, you talk to them like a normal person, full stop. To Jen's credit she points out that if he does like Jack, the best way to get with him is to be his friend, which requires being nice. Good advice, Jen. No being a child. 

Pacey and Mr. Witter come home to a darkened house and he wonders where everyone has gone. Pacey thinks they went to Red Lobster to remove all memory of Mrs. Witter's chipped beef on toast, which is mean but like fair. They laugh and enter the house to a round of surprise and happy birthdays because everyone was waiting for them to come back to do his party right. That's actually pretty nice but I still hate the Witter family for the most part. Especially the dumb sister, Kerry. Seriously, Kerry, an ashtray? What is wrong with you? 

Gretchen admits her feelings to Dawson but that she's scared that she'll be leaving and hurt him. Dawson thinks it doesn't matter because he's leaving too so why not have fun and be in the moment together? She agrees and they make up and can you tell I'm super not invested in this?

Moving on, Joey apologizes to Pacey for throwing such a lousy birthday party but he thinks it's just his birthday curse. She also apologizes and encourages him about college but Pacey thinks that the rejection just made everything real and he's scared that they are heading in very different directions in life and that will pull them away from each other. Joey thinks that all the roads will lead them back together because they make sense and Pacey still looks unsure. Seeing this again after knowing what's to come, this actually sets things up quite nicely but I still hate it. What's to come, I mean. This is sweet. They watch the fireworks together and everyone is happy. This will not last. I mean, the next episode is Hopeless so outlooks not looking so great on the creek but until then we shall bid adieu to yeu and yeu and yeu. I'm sorry, I'm such a dork.