The Strange Misandry of 40 Days and 40 Nights

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I noticed the other day that 40 Days and 40 Nights was on Netflix Canada. Right now, familiar things are comfort food to me. Yeah, I like new but sometimes you just want to throw on something stupid and fluffy that doesn't make you think. Boy was I surprised.

I mean, sure it still has its charms about it. Not many movies feature a girl getting an orgasm from a single flower petal being blown across her pantied vagina and we should all aspire to have that kind of hair-trigger orgasm. It has that going for it, but while I did remember the really glaring issue about the movie, I was shocked by how much it actually kind of hates men.

I don't think it's intentional but it falls into a lot of the traps that Swiped did. Clearly, it was written by someone that has certain ideas that are very glaringly obvious. For this movie, it seemed to have very dated ideas about sex and relationships, particularly how men think about them. I get the idea they were going for (and it is way less mean-spirited and over the top than Swiped) but where it quickly becomes very uncomfortable.

For those not in the know, 40 Days and 40 Nights is about a guy who has just broken up with who he thought was the love of his life. His world is upside down and he engages in casual meaningless sex most weekends along with his friend and roommate. As he's having sex with one woman, he suddenly feels like the ceiling is caving in on him (basically, he's having a panic attack) and he can't come. He recounts his troubles with his brother who is studying to become a priest and is none too happy to listen to the first world problems of his brother complaining that all the casual sex he's having all the time suddenly isn't fun anymore.

My wallet is too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!


Anyway, he sees the head priest guy setting up for lent and has an epiphany. He's going to give up sex for lent, the titular 40 days and 40 nights. Not only is he giving up sex but any and all sex-related things, including self-gratification. He feels relaxed once making this promise to himself but wouldn't you know, he meets a cute girl which throws a curveball into the situation. It's an interesting premise for a movie, I dig the concept. He's having to build a relationship with someone that doesn't revolve around sex and that is interesting to me. The problem is that the movie is a comedy and so they, of course, have to make wacky shenanigans happen.

Enter the bet. His roommate blabs to his coworkers and friends about his vow of celibacy and, as a result, they all want to bet on when he will inevitably fail. The idea being that "guys want sex all the time" "no guy can go without sex", all that dated nonsense. I get the joke, it's mostly harmless but it does reinforce the stereotype that often leads to male rape victims not being taken seriously because of the idea that "men always want sex and will take it where they can get it". This idea is rape culture and it harms all victims of all genders.

Take, for example, the idea this movie pushes that women have power because they don't want sex, well that makes guys think that women don't enjoy sex and so sex is just for them. Patently false, blatantly untrue but the idea persists. Men are pissed at Matt (Josh Hartnett's character) because he's not behaving "like a man" and it's making them look bad, women are pissed at him because he's taking away their power of withholding sex? From any angle you slice this movie, it has a garbage take.

Sexual harassment in the workplace is performed by everyone in this movie, from the women trying to get Matt to break by hitting on him and throwing themselves at him, despite him not wanting it, to the boss (who decides to follow in Matt's footsteps in a bid to reclaim power over his wife who has been denying him sex) who leers at female coworkers.

It's ok, the viagra made him do it!


One would think that I believe this movie to be misogynist but it's oddly not as misogynist as it is misandrist and I'll tell you the really big reason why. This movie takes the premise that all men want sex all the time to such an extreme that not only is there a joke about trying to slip viagra into Matt's drink without his consent to get him to break his vow earlier but the entire movie resolves itself in one big pile of yikes.

I told you about the idea this movie pushes and how it's a dangerous idea that bolsters rape culture and makes everything worse for all victims, right? Well, interestingly enough the movie brings itself to that idea's natural conclusion by making the third act breakup between Matt and Erica happen because while Matt is half-sleeping, drunk, and handcuffed to his bed, his ex comes in and has sex with him so he'd break his vow and she'd win the big pot of money on the bet. Not only does she rape him to win money but it's treated by the movie as Matt's fault. In some bizarre way, I think they were hoping to make him sympathetic by not having him intentionally cheat on Erica but they weirdly still wanted to behave as if he did. He did not. He was raped. The fact that the movie itself believes so wholeheartedly that men always want sex made them believe that resolving the movie via rape was absolutely acceptable because it happened to a man. I'm floored.

Remember folks, it's not rape if a girl has sex with an unwilling/unconscious guy
Just so long as she's hot!


If you want a lesson in how rape culture leads to victims being hurt, watch this movie. It's an entire case study on the idea. Its own toxic ideas about how men are "supposed to behave" led them to write in a scene where a man gets raped while wholly not recognizing what they did. It's kind of amazing, in a really sad and depressing way.

Matt and Erica get back together but like, he had to apologize to her...for getting raped by his ex. Yikes. And that is the strange misandry of 40 Days and 40 Nights.

Until next time, remember kids:

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