Original airdate: May 11, 2010
This episode aired almost a decade ago. Holy shit do I feel super old. Also, I'm writing this as the world is burning around me, or at least as a nasty virus is spreading and people are self-quarantining themselves to avoid catching/spreading this thing. Please stay safe out there, everyone. With that out of the way, hopefully we can have some fun goofing on Glee.
We start this episode with a close up on Puck getting his head shaved. This is supposed to be shocking but honestly? Good. That do was not doing him any favours and he looks better without it. Puck is complaining because his mother freaked out over a mole on his head and the doctor had to shave his head to get a better look at it and found out it was nothing. Puck says that he feels like "that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength" but he's not talking about Samson, he's talking about Andre Agassi, the tennis player. He's worried that people are losing respect for him because of a changed haircut because people are actually making eye contact with him now. My theory is that people avoided looking at his nasty hair before and now they're just surprised that he doesn't look as tragic anymore. Santana disagrees with me because she definitely finds him less attractive now...actually I do agree and wholeheartedly endorse this take because Mark Saling is the worst. Google it. Or don't, just know he's a creep.
We are then treated to Jacob Ben Israel because this episode hates me so far. He's there to get payback on Puck because his lost mohawk means that now he's not still towering over them and way more physically imposing? Three nerds lift him into the dumpster and Puck just lets it happen, complaining in voiceover that he's human garbage (I, again, wholeheartedly agree). He is sad about his circumstances until he hears clapping and singing and sees the Cheerios, Mercedes among them doing some type of cheer. He thinks that she used to be super unpopular but she became a Cheerio and is now completely changed. He doesn't want to become a cheerleader though but he gets a really bad idea about how he just needs to date one to get popular and vows to make Mercedes his. Run, girl!
Side note: Glee is terrible at continuity and also terrible for just ramming together characters for the fun of it regardless of who the characters are actually supposed to be dating. So, um, isn't Quinn dating Puck? I thought that was implied in the Hell-O episode? But then Santana seemed to be dating him at the beginning of this episode? I know she dumped him which is what is paving the way for this pairing but like, Quinn is still in the picture and they're not addressing it??
Cut to Rachel unloading a bunch of vitamin containers on top of the piano in glee club. Will asks her what's up and she complains that she's exhausted and felt a tickle at the back of her throat but that she never gets sick. She suspects it's because she sings a solo for every song (I thought that's kind of what she wanted?) and also thinks none of the others are actually singing during vocal exercises. We see them all doing runs and to me, I think it would sound pretty obvious that only one person is singing and Will should catch that but they all appear to be singing? Maybe she means that they are lending their voices but not actually "singing" singing but talking-singing?
She gets Lauren Zizes to hook up a microphone in the choir room so she can secretly record their practices. Then Rachel listens to the tape to isolate each voice until she determines who she doesn't hear. I have terrible hearing and voice recognition so I applaud her superpowered ears that can pick this out and also have no way of knowing if this is possible because my senses suck worse than most people's. She hands a list of those not singing to Will and it's literally all the football players and cheerleaders. Except for Matt and Mike because they are always forgotten but also seem the most into being in Glee.
Puck hits on Mercedes in the most offensive way possible and she thankfully calls him on it. They always make Puck extremely gross this way, bringing up race and religion as reasons to date. He did this with Rachel too where he always brings up their Jewishness as a reason to make out, it's weird and creepy in a way I can't fully express other than I hate it. He makes it clear he wants to date her to regain some of his lost clout and says that they just have to hold hands and make out which is fine because he digs a girl with curves and skrrrrrt. Hold up. Major continuity issue with his character here. In the episode Hell-O, Puck was chastising Quinn, the waif of a girl even when pregnant, for supersizing her meals. He said, and I quote, "I don't dig on fat chicks" I don't mean to be rude here but the show itself is rude in this regard and I have to say that if he's worried about Quinn being "fat" how is Mercedes simply "curvy" and fine to him? This pairing made the least amount of sense to me for this very reason but also because the actors have zero chemistry together and it's really obvious.
On top of this, last episode Quinn reached out to Mercedes and was incredibly nice to her and Mercedes reached out to Quinn before. Mercedes even brings up the fact that he knocked Quinn up and then just kind of ditched her so I really don't believe she as a character would be interested in Puck either. He's gross. Puck mentions that she was dating someone else and he just knocked her up and that he basically has to sleep around. So, yeah, I guess we're pretending that he and Quinn are not dating and never had feelings for each other that was a source of some drama in the first 13.
Will calls the offenders out for their lack of singing and all their excuses are kind of great, other than Finn who is just being a whiny baby about Jesse getting the leads. It's not Jesse's fault he's a way better singer than you, Finn.
Finn: Cause you started giving all the male leads to Jesse. It kind of shook my confidence, y'know.
Santana: [exasperated sigh] What difference does it make? Everyone knows that my job here is to look hot.
Quinn: My baby hormones are making me moody.
Brittany: There are so many lyrics.
I feel you, Brittany. Lyrics are hard. I love to sing along to songs but don't expect me to always sing the right lyrics #sorrynotsorry. Anyway, Will's idea to remedy this situation is to ask that they all prepare a song that best showcases their voice and how they see themselves. Kurt is excited because he finally gets to sing a solo.
Kurt excitedly tells Mercedes about the project and how he totally has it in the bag with a Whitney Houston solo he has planned. Then he runs into Burt in the hallway but he's looking for Finn to take him to a baseball game. Kurt is offended that he wasn't invited but Burt is like, since when do you like baseball? Burt happily leaves with Finn while Kurt looks dejected. Oh good, we're continuing this subplot where Kurt is salty about the fact that his master plan to move in with his crush has backfired on him. Cool.
At practice the next day, Puck is still trying to hit on Mercedes and she's still not having it. Good, stick with that. Will asks who wants to go first and, of course, Rachel jumps up. Her song is The Climb by Miley Cyrus but she is struggling to sing it, sounding super off-key. Will puts her out of her misery a few lines in and tells her that she's lost her voice. Rachel is mortified.
Kurt is fretting by his locker about how his dad doesn't love him anymore because now he has a straight son to bond with. Sue asks him why he wasn't at cheer practice and Kurt goes into way too much detail about how he's scared of losing his father because of his sexuality. Sue uses the Abby argument of "have you even kissed bro?" and because he hasn't he shouldn't have any clue what his sexuality is and I hate it. I never kissed a boy throughout high school and I sure as hell knew I was straight and desperately wanted to kiss a boy. Stupid, stupid advice but Kurt grasps to this and it's sad because he wants to be what his father wants. Kurt decides that he's going to decide what his voice is and tries to explain it to Sue who has completely checked out of the conversation and wants desperately to escape it, so she does. I like this version of snippy Sue (aside from the terrible advice on knowing your sexuality).
We cut to Burt walking into Kurt's room asking him what he wanted to see him about. Kurt reveals that he's working on his glee assignment. He's going to do Little Pink Houses by John Mellencamp and Burt is confused because he didn't think it was in Kurt's wheelhouse. Kurt reveals he's dressed like Burt, cuffed jeans and plaid shirt. Kurt defends his choice by admiring John's bravery for writing a song about such bold interior design. lol. Burt corrects him about what the song is about and Kurt suggests that they talk more about John Mellencamp. Burt is all in, offering to grab a bite while they discuss but letting him know that all Mellencamp songs are pretty much about the same thing.
Here is the thing...this doesn't fit with Kurt's weird possessiveness about his father. I mean, I guess you could argue that he thinks Burt is only spending time with him because he changed his look but Burt seems totally confused about the change but also super willing and happy to help him out. He even says "anything to help you out" so why does Kurt feel like Burt isn't there for him? I've only ever seen Burt be like, the best dad ever. Kurt needs to chill.
Rachel is in the doctor's office panicking about being told she'll never sing again. Finn is there which is surprisingly supportive of him. He reveals that she has tonsillitis which confuses me because the episode is titled laryngitis so that's what I assumed she had. She also has an ear infection so the doctor wants to remove her tonsils. This terrifies her so the doctor prescribes her antibiotics to start with and leaves. She freaks out to Finn but he's a NiceGuythm, so instead of listening to her fears he takes the opportunity to get a dig in about how Jesse isn't here and how he doesn't care about her as much as Finn does. Fuck Finn. Read the room, not the time to moan about the fact that you fucking blew it and she rightfully moved on. I am Team Jesse all the way here.
Rachel stands her ground saying that Jesse is on spring break in San Diego with his Vocal Adrenaline friends and that even though they kind of broke up after the Run, Joey, Run debacle, she still cares about him and wants to mend things with him. Finn should respect this but instead, he sings the NiceGuytm Anthem otherwise known as Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield.
Will gushes over how awesome Finn is and I have to admit, the song actually suits his voice and it's the best he's ever sounded. Fine, he can have this one. Puck wants to go next and he brings in the jazz band to help him. He again brings up being a Jew and how he is connecting with "black" culture by listening to Sammy Davis Jr. (a "Black Jew" in Puck's words) so he's decided to sing The Lady is a Tramp. I don't understand how this song is supposed to woo her but it works and actually works on Santana too and she is not happy that he is singing to Mercedes. Santana only seems to pop up and be interested in guys only when they're interested or showing interest in someone else. I can't remember if the writers turn this into a character trait they explore or if they just leave it as plot convenience for when they need drama in a ship. Either way, Mercedes is now into Puck through the magic of singing together and the entire class stands up and cheers like it's the end of a poorly written self-insert fanfic.
Mercedes' high is quickly snuffed out when she runs into Quinn but her guilt exists only so far as to apologize to Quinn but tell her that something just happened between them. It's nice that they acknowledged Quinn in this scenario but they are in fact, pretending like they are not and were not dating so I don't know. Quinn encourages Mercedes to go for it so she doesn't have to spend as much time with him since she's living with Puck now because her parents kicked her out and Finn's house was obviously no longer an option. She doesn't want Mercedes to get hurt though but Mercedes is cool because she knows this is just a using thing so her heart is safe. Quinn warns her that her heart might be safe but Santana is on the hunt for her blood since she is the one more into Puck now.
In choir practice the next day, I think, it's Kurt's turn. He is dressed up in his flannel and boots trying to be manly and says he has the perfect song for his voice. We finally get to hear his rendition of Pink Houses and it's alright. I think we're supposed to find it funny because lol, Kurt can't sing a manly song but I find that kind of gross. It's out of character for him but not funny and he does a fine job with it. Will shits all over it because it's not his voice and here's a thing to note: when Kurt is obviously very sensitive about this topic and defends his right to express himself in a way that others don't expect, Will does not check in with him that he's ok. You know 100% if this were Finn he'd be reaching out to him and making sure he's ok. Will is a douche.
Instead, he tells everyone to take five when Kurt storms out. Brittany chases after him, the only one who enjoyed his performance. She propositions Kurt because he's the one guy she hasn't made out with yet and having a perfect record means a lot to her. Kurt is tempted because he wants to prove to himself that he can be straight if he chooses to be. This makes me sad.
Finn sees Rachel walking around in Pyjamas and eating cereal and asks her if she's sleepwalking. She's not, she's freaking out about how she hasn't gotten better yet which means surgery which means she may lose her voice forever. Instead of being supportive he gets mad at her for being doom and gloom. He actually says, and I quote, "God, I am so sick of you feeling sorry for yourself." If this episode was supposed to show me how much better Finn is for Rachel, it is failing big time. Finn tells her he has a friend he wants her to meet and brace yourselves it's gonna be a wee bit uncomfortable.
Kurt is full-on making out with Brittany which is super awkward. He asks her what boys lips taste like and she tells him usually dip or burgers. Gross. I mean I like both those things just not mixed with the idea of kissing someone. Burt walks in and is surprised by the whole thing especially since he thought the note warning him not to enter because of hetero making out was the start of a murder mystery dinner that Kurt likes to throw. That sounds like fun. Kurt is happy to be caught and asks for privacy but Burt calls him over for a chat first.
Burt asks Kurt what the heck is up and Kurt lays it on thick about how much they have in common musically and making out with the ladies. Burt is confused but again shows he's the MVP parent by saying he respects whoever Kurt is and will support him no matter what. Then he gives them dad advice of playing safe, using protection and tells Kurt he has to respect Brittany. I stan Burt. Brittany doesn't understand what he means by protection though.
Puck is flapping his gums about Super Mario, as per Quinn's complaint and Mercedes stops him to tell him that he needs to start paying attention to her needs. He's cool with that and she tells him she likes iced coffee so Puck offers to get her some. Puck is actually...kind of thoughtful when put in relationship mode? Like way more than Finn and it's weirding me out because he's usually gross and portrayed as the bully. I don't like this ship, I just find it interesting how quick Puck is to like listen to and offer to do things for Mercedes when he supposedly is only using her?
He passes Jacob Ben Israel, the actual grossest character on the show, who is terrified of him again. Puck is happy with this development, especially since some of the other nerds who threw him in the dumpster transferred schools out of fear of retaliation from him. His evil plan is working and he has street cred back. Puck takes his lunch money and passes by Santana who gives him a flirty smile and he checks her out. Mercedes notices.
Cue Mercedes and Santana singing The Boy is Mine by Brandy and Monica and I'm going to have to go on a bit of a side fact here. I remember being part of the fandom on the IMDb boards back when this first aired (remember when message boards were a thing?). Anyway, a big part of the talk on the boards was about how much they wanted them to do this song but that they wanted it to be between Santana and Quinn which would have made way more sense seeing as how they both were already established to like the same guy. This started back in the episode where Quinn asked Puck to help her babysit and then Santana sexted him all night. Everyone was hyped for it, especially hearing that they were finally doing the song and then this. I get it, Mercedes voice was probably way better suited to this song than Quinn's but character matters more to me and the moment would have been way more impactful with a non-goofy one-off ship being part of this battle. And that's your boring Glee fandom tidbit for the day.
The song ends in glee club so I guess they performed this together as their "find your voice" assignment? They also get into an awkward fight that Will has to break up. Santana tells Mercedes to enjoy it while it lasts because his hair is already growing back (implying that he'll dump her once his weird mohawk power comes back?). Mercedes is not pleased.
Cut to Puck standing next to a dumpster while a line up of losers are for some reason waiting to be dumped in by two random jocks. Mercedes comes across this and is not happy. Puck tells her this is the way he is when you're on top and basically is unashamed so he's back to being a bully.
Here we get to the most uncomfortable part of the episode. Finn has taken Rachel to his friend's house. His friend he met at football camp who is now quadriplegic and Rachel is understandably confused. She asks him what's up because this is not funny which is a bit rude for her to say within this guy, Sean's earshot but I get it.
Sean tells her how someone caught him off guard in football and he now can't move anything below his chest. He asks her about her voice and if it will come back and Rachel says she doesn't know. He asks if she's mad about what she lost because he was, he used to lie in bed and scream about it and I'm really uncomfortable writing this. Rachel agrees with my assessment and apologizes to Sean, telling him Finn shouldn't have brought her here and like, for fucking real he shouldn't have. You know why I'm uncomfortable? Because all I can think about is in the episode directly before this we have Sue touting the fact that someone always has it worst who can make you feel better about how bad your life is and this feels really gross.
Couple that with the fact that when Rachel tries to leave, Finn stops her and urges Sean to tell her about the time he drove his wheelchair into the swimming pool to take his own life. Why? Why does she need to hear this? Why is Finn so flippant about this, like it's a lesson she needs to learn? I hate this. Rachel doesn't understand the point either and asks if he's happier now but he's not, he's miserable but he's realized he has more than one thing going on and found out he's good at math and singing. I mean, that's cool and all and this guy is actually quadriplegic so I am not knocking him or his harrowing story, I'm saying the glee writers are touching on a very serious and very dark topic that I really don't think they have the skill to take on in a sensitive or even meaningful way. This really feels like a manipulative tug on the heartstrings moment and that feels exploitative. We're never seeing Sean again, he's strictly here to make Rachel feel better about possibly losing her voice and that is just not cool.
Cut to Mercedes quitting the Cheerios and dumping Puck because she doesn't want to be part of a clique that picks on other kids the way he does and she doesn't think he does either. I think she's wrong and that having any type of power is exactly what Puck likes.
Kurt and Brittany are walking down the hall and his hands are apparently so soft that she proclaims that she now knows what it's like to date a baby. Brittany is weird and a little gross. Burt comes up to them but again, he's here to pick up Finn for hoagies and motocross. Kurt is decidedly upset and tells Brittany to give them a minute. He asks Burt if he considered that maybe he might want to do those things with him too but Burt says that Finn has needed a father figure in his life and how it will be good for him.
Cue Kurt singing Rose's Turn from...G*psy: A Musical Fable. After he's embraced his voice, his father applauds him and compliments his awesome singing. Kurt is confused because he thought he was going out with Finn but Burt blew it off because he saw how upset Kurt was. Kurt tries to deny how upset he was but Burt is not that dumb or unobservant. He points out that he will support him no matter what and apologizes for getting carried away with Finn. He explains that he did dream about talking girls and going to baseball games together when he was a kid and Kurt tries to mope away but Burt isn't having it. Kurt apologizes for his behaviour but admits that seeing how easy it is for Burt to hang out with Finn breaks his heart. Burt asks if that's why he dressed differently and hung out with the weird cheerleader and Kurt confirms it. Kurt wants to work just as hard as Burt is to make things easier but Burt tells him that the only thing he has to work on is being himself and it's his job to love him no matter what. I just love Burt. He is the best dad.
Rachel is back at Sean's house without Finn. She thanks him for making her see that she isn't worthless because she lost one part of herself and wants to return the favour. She offers to give him singing lessons since her voice has actually returned. This feels like even more of a bummer to me because this guy can't just get his movement back and it's heartbreaking in a way that I don't think the glee writers intended. They sing One by U2 together and it's spliced with New Directions singing it and that's the end of the episode. The song is very nice so I'll include it here:
First off, why did they call the episode Laryngitis if she had Tonsillitis? But more importantly, why did they think it was a good idea to have an actual quadriplegic person make Rachel feel better about possibly losing her voice? It feels really insensitive and invokes the supposedly bad take that Sue had in the last episode of making yourself feel better by helping those who have it worse. I'm not saying don't help people, I'm saying it's pretty garbage to use someone's suffering to lessen your own. I don't like the message here. Much love to the actor who played Sean and I'm sure everyone was great to him on set but the message didn't land as they intended. This will not be the end of Glee biting off more than they can chew, I assure you, and we're going to have to look at all of their bad takes as we continue down our Glee journey. Take care and keep safe out there.
This episode aired almost a decade ago. Holy shit do I feel super old. Also, I'm writing this as the world is burning around me, or at least as a nasty virus is spreading and people are self-quarantining themselves to avoid catching/spreading this thing. Please stay safe out there, everyone. With that out of the way, hopefully we can have some fun goofing on Glee.
We start this episode with a close up on Puck getting his head shaved. This is supposed to be shocking but honestly? Good. That do was not doing him any favours and he looks better without it. Puck is complaining because his mother freaked out over a mole on his head and the doctor had to shave his head to get a better look at it and found out it was nothing. Puck says that he feels like "that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength" but he's not talking about Samson, he's talking about Andre Agassi, the tennis player. He's worried that people are losing respect for him because of a changed haircut because people are actually making eye contact with him now. My theory is that people avoided looking at his nasty hair before and now they're just surprised that he doesn't look as tragic anymore. Santana disagrees with me because she definitely finds him less attractive now...actually I do agree and wholeheartedly endorse this take because Mark Saling is the worst. Google it. Or don't, just know he's a creep.
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| Definitely the whining |
We are then treated to Jacob Ben Israel because this episode hates me so far. He's there to get payback on Puck because his lost mohawk means that now he's not still towering over them and way more physically imposing? Three nerds lift him into the dumpster and Puck just lets it happen, complaining in voiceover that he's human garbage (I, again, wholeheartedly agree). He is sad about his circumstances until he hears clapping and singing and sees the Cheerios, Mercedes among them doing some type of cheer. He thinks that she used to be super unpopular but she became a Cheerio and is now completely changed. He doesn't want to become a cheerleader though but he gets a really bad idea about how he just needs to date one to get popular and vows to make Mercedes his. Run, girl!
Side note: Glee is terrible at continuity and also terrible for just ramming together characters for the fun of it regardless of who the characters are actually supposed to be dating. So, um, isn't Quinn dating Puck? I thought that was implied in the Hell-O episode? But then Santana seemed to be dating him at the beginning of this episode? I know she dumped him which is what is paving the way for this pairing but like, Quinn is still in the picture and they're not addressing it??
Cut to Rachel unloading a bunch of vitamin containers on top of the piano in glee club. Will asks her what's up and she complains that she's exhausted and felt a tickle at the back of her throat but that she never gets sick. She suspects it's because she sings a solo for every song (I thought that's kind of what she wanted?) and also thinks none of the others are actually singing during vocal exercises. We see them all doing runs and to me, I think it would sound pretty obvious that only one person is singing and Will should catch that but they all appear to be singing? Maybe she means that they are lending their voices but not actually "singing" singing but talking-singing?
She gets Lauren Zizes to hook up a microphone in the choir room so she can secretly record their practices. Then Rachel listens to the tape to isolate each voice until she determines who she doesn't hear. I have terrible hearing and voice recognition so I applaud her superpowered ears that can pick this out and also have no way of knowing if this is possible because my senses suck worse than most people's. She hands a list of those not singing to Will and it's literally all the football players and cheerleaders. Except for Matt and Mike because they are always forgotten but also seem the most into being in Glee.
Puck hits on Mercedes in the most offensive way possible and she thankfully calls him on it. They always make Puck extremely gross this way, bringing up race and religion as reasons to date. He did this with Rachel too where he always brings up their Jewishness as a reason to make out, it's weird and creepy in a way I can't fully express other than I hate it. He makes it clear he wants to date her to regain some of his lost clout and says that they just have to hold hands and make out which is fine because he digs a girl with curves and skrrrrrt. Hold up. Major continuity issue with his character here. In the episode Hell-O, Puck was chastising Quinn, the waif of a girl even when pregnant, for supersizing her meals. He said, and I quote, "I don't dig on fat chicks" I don't mean to be rude here but the show itself is rude in this regard and I have to say that if he's worried about Quinn being "fat" how is Mercedes simply "curvy" and fine to him? This pairing made the least amount of sense to me for this very reason but also because the actors have zero chemistry together and it's really obvious.
On top of this, last episode Quinn reached out to Mercedes and was incredibly nice to her and Mercedes reached out to Quinn before. Mercedes even brings up the fact that he knocked Quinn up and then just kind of ditched her so I really don't believe she as a character would be interested in Puck either. He's gross. Puck mentions that she was dating someone else and he just knocked her up and that he basically has to sleep around. So, yeah, I guess we're pretending that he and Quinn are not dating and never had feelings for each other that was a source of some drama in the first 13.
Will calls the offenders out for their lack of singing and all their excuses are kind of great, other than Finn who is just being a whiny baby about Jesse getting the leads. It's not Jesse's fault he's a way better singer than you, Finn.
Finn: Cause you started giving all the male leads to Jesse. It kind of shook my confidence, y'know.
Santana: [exasperated sigh] What difference does it make? Everyone knows that my job here is to look hot.
Quinn: My baby hormones are making me moody.
Brittany: There are so many lyrics.
I feel you, Brittany. Lyrics are hard. I love to sing along to songs but don't expect me to always sing the right lyrics #sorrynotsorry. Anyway, Will's idea to remedy this situation is to ask that they all prepare a song that best showcases their voice and how they see themselves. Kurt is excited because he finally gets to sing a solo.
Kurt excitedly tells Mercedes about the project and how he totally has it in the bag with a Whitney Houston solo he has planned. Then he runs into Burt in the hallway but he's looking for Finn to take him to a baseball game. Kurt is offended that he wasn't invited but Burt is like, since when do you like baseball? Burt happily leaves with Finn while Kurt looks dejected. Oh good, we're continuing this subplot where Kurt is salty about the fact that his master plan to move in with his crush has backfired on him. Cool.
At practice the next day, Puck is still trying to hit on Mercedes and she's still not having it. Good, stick with that. Will asks who wants to go first and, of course, Rachel jumps up. Her song is The Climb by Miley Cyrus but she is struggling to sing it, sounding super off-key. Will puts her out of her misery a few lines in and tells her that she's lost her voice. Rachel is mortified.
Kurt is fretting by his locker about how his dad doesn't love him anymore because now he has a straight son to bond with. Sue asks him why he wasn't at cheer practice and Kurt goes into way too much detail about how he's scared of losing his father because of his sexuality. Sue uses the Abby argument of "have you even kissed bro?" and because he hasn't he shouldn't have any clue what his sexuality is and I hate it. I never kissed a boy throughout high school and I sure as hell knew I was straight and desperately wanted to kiss a boy. Stupid, stupid advice but Kurt grasps to this and it's sad because he wants to be what his father wants. Kurt decides that he's going to decide what his voice is and tries to explain it to Sue who has completely checked out of the conversation and wants desperately to escape it, so she does. I like this version of snippy Sue (aside from the terrible advice on knowing your sexuality).
We cut to Burt walking into Kurt's room asking him what he wanted to see him about. Kurt reveals that he's working on his glee assignment. He's going to do Little Pink Houses by John Mellencamp and Burt is confused because he didn't think it was in Kurt's wheelhouse. Kurt reveals he's dressed like Burt, cuffed jeans and plaid shirt. Kurt defends his choice by admiring John's bravery for writing a song about such bold interior design. lol. Burt corrects him about what the song is about and Kurt suggests that they talk more about John Mellencamp. Burt is all in, offering to grab a bite while they discuss but letting him know that all Mellencamp songs are pretty much about the same thing.
Here is the thing...this doesn't fit with Kurt's weird possessiveness about his father. I mean, I guess you could argue that he thinks Burt is only spending time with him because he changed his look but Burt seems totally confused about the change but also super willing and happy to help him out. He even says "anything to help you out" so why does Kurt feel like Burt isn't there for him? I've only ever seen Burt be like, the best dad ever. Kurt needs to chill.
Rachel is in the doctor's office panicking about being told she'll never sing again. Finn is there which is surprisingly supportive of him. He reveals that she has tonsillitis which confuses me because the episode is titled laryngitis so that's what I assumed she had. She also has an ear infection so the doctor wants to remove her tonsils. This terrifies her so the doctor prescribes her antibiotics to start with and leaves. She freaks out to Finn but he's a NiceGuythm, so instead of listening to her fears he takes the opportunity to get a dig in about how Jesse isn't here and how he doesn't care about her as much as Finn does. Fuck Finn. Read the room, not the time to moan about the fact that you fucking blew it and she rightfully moved on. I am Team Jesse all the way here.
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| Just look at him, so cute |
Rachel stands her ground saying that Jesse is on spring break in San Diego with his Vocal Adrenaline friends and that even though they kind of broke up after the Run, Joey, Run debacle, she still cares about him and wants to mend things with him. Finn should respect this but instead, he sings the NiceGuytm Anthem otherwise known as Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield.
Will gushes over how awesome Finn is and I have to admit, the song actually suits his voice and it's the best he's ever sounded. Fine, he can have this one. Puck wants to go next and he brings in the jazz band to help him. He again brings up being a Jew and how he is connecting with "black" culture by listening to Sammy Davis Jr. (a "Black Jew" in Puck's words) so he's decided to sing The Lady is a Tramp. I don't understand how this song is supposed to woo her but it works and actually works on Santana too and she is not happy that he is singing to Mercedes. Santana only seems to pop up and be interested in guys only when they're interested or showing interest in someone else. I can't remember if the writers turn this into a character trait they explore or if they just leave it as plot convenience for when they need drama in a ship. Either way, Mercedes is now into Puck through the magic of singing together and the entire class stands up and cheers like it's the end of a poorly written self-insert fanfic.
Mercedes' high is quickly snuffed out when she runs into Quinn but her guilt exists only so far as to apologize to Quinn but tell her that something just happened between them. It's nice that they acknowledged Quinn in this scenario but they are in fact, pretending like they are not and were not dating so I don't know. Quinn encourages Mercedes to go for it so she doesn't have to spend as much time with him since she's living with Puck now because her parents kicked her out and Finn's house was obviously no longer an option. She doesn't want Mercedes to get hurt though but Mercedes is cool because she knows this is just a using thing so her heart is safe. Quinn warns her that her heart might be safe but Santana is on the hunt for her blood since she is the one more into Puck now.
In choir practice the next day, I think, it's Kurt's turn. He is dressed up in his flannel and boots trying to be manly and says he has the perfect song for his voice. We finally get to hear his rendition of Pink Houses and it's alright. I think we're supposed to find it funny because lol, Kurt can't sing a manly song but I find that kind of gross. It's out of character for him but not funny and he does a fine job with it. Will shits all over it because it's not his voice and here's a thing to note: when Kurt is obviously very sensitive about this topic and defends his right to express himself in a way that others don't expect, Will does not check in with him that he's ok. You know 100% if this were Finn he'd be reaching out to him and making sure he's ok. Will is a douche.
Instead, he tells everyone to take five when Kurt storms out. Brittany chases after him, the only one who enjoyed his performance. She propositions Kurt because he's the one guy she hasn't made out with yet and having a perfect record means a lot to her. Kurt is tempted because he wants to prove to himself that he can be straight if he chooses to be. This makes me sad.
Finn sees Rachel walking around in Pyjamas and eating cereal and asks her if she's sleepwalking. She's not, she's freaking out about how she hasn't gotten better yet which means surgery which means she may lose her voice forever. Instead of being supportive he gets mad at her for being doom and gloom. He actually says, and I quote, "God, I am so sick of you feeling sorry for yourself." If this episode was supposed to show me how much better Finn is for Rachel, it is failing big time. Finn tells her he has a friend he wants her to meet and brace yourselves it's gonna be a wee bit uncomfortable.
Kurt is full-on making out with Brittany which is super awkward. He asks her what boys lips taste like and she tells him usually dip or burgers. Gross. I mean I like both those things just not mixed with the idea of kissing someone. Burt walks in and is surprised by the whole thing especially since he thought the note warning him not to enter because of hetero making out was the start of a murder mystery dinner that Kurt likes to throw. That sounds like fun. Kurt is happy to be caught and asks for privacy but Burt calls him over for a chat first.
Burt asks Kurt what the heck is up and Kurt lays it on thick about how much they have in common musically and making out with the ladies. Burt is confused but again shows he's the MVP parent by saying he respects whoever Kurt is and will support him no matter what. Then he gives them dad advice of playing safe, using protection and tells Kurt he has to respect Brittany. I stan Burt. Brittany doesn't understand what he means by protection though.
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| Oh, honey... |
Puck is flapping his gums about Super Mario, as per Quinn's complaint and Mercedes stops him to tell him that he needs to start paying attention to her needs. He's cool with that and she tells him she likes iced coffee so Puck offers to get her some. Puck is actually...kind of thoughtful when put in relationship mode? Like way more than Finn and it's weirding me out because he's usually gross and portrayed as the bully. I don't like this ship, I just find it interesting how quick Puck is to like listen to and offer to do things for Mercedes when he supposedly is only using her?
He passes Jacob Ben Israel, the actual grossest character on the show, who is terrified of him again. Puck is happy with this development, especially since some of the other nerds who threw him in the dumpster transferred schools out of fear of retaliation from him. His evil plan is working and he has street cred back. Puck takes his lunch money and passes by Santana who gives him a flirty smile and he checks her out. Mercedes notices.
Cue Mercedes and Santana singing The Boy is Mine by Brandy and Monica and I'm going to have to go on a bit of a side fact here. I remember being part of the fandom on the IMDb boards back when this first aired (remember when message boards were a thing?). Anyway, a big part of the talk on the boards was about how much they wanted them to do this song but that they wanted it to be between Santana and Quinn which would have made way more sense seeing as how they both were already established to like the same guy. This started back in the episode where Quinn asked Puck to help her babysit and then Santana sexted him all night. Everyone was hyped for it, especially hearing that they were finally doing the song and then this. I get it, Mercedes voice was probably way better suited to this song than Quinn's but character matters more to me and the moment would have been way more impactful with a non-goofy one-off ship being part of this battle. And that's your boring Glee fandom tidbit for the day.
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| Glee: giving people what they want...kind of |
The song ends in glee club so I guess they performed this together as their "find your voice" assignment? They also get into an awkward fight that Will has to break up. Santana tells Mercedes to enjoy it while it lasts because his hair is already growing back (implying that he'll dump her once his weird mohawk power comes back?). Mercedes is not pleased.
Cut to Puck standing next to a dumpster while a line up of losers are for some reason waiting to be dumped in by two random jocks. Mercedes comes across this and is not happy. Puck tells her this is the way he is when you're on top and basically is unashamed so he's back to being a bully.
Here we get to the most uncomfortable part of the episode. Finn has taken Rachel to his friend's house. His friend he met at football camp who is now quadriplegic and Rachel is understandably confused. She asks him what's up because this is not funny which is a bit rude for her to say within this guy, Sean's earshot but I get it.
Sean tells her how someone caught him off guard in football and he now can't move anything below his chest. He asks her about her voice and if it will come back and Rachel says she doesn't know. He asks if she's mad about what she lost because he was, he used to lie in bed and scream about it and I'm really uncomfortable writing this. Rachel agrees with my assessment and apologizes to Sean, telling him Finn shouldn't have brought her here and like, for fucking real he shouldn't have. You know why I'm uncomfortable? Because all I can think about is in the episode directly before this we have Sue touting the fact that someone always has it worst who can make you feel better about how bad your life is and this feels really gross.
Couple that with the fact that when Rachel tries to leave, Finn stops her and urges Sean to tell her about the time he drove his wheelchair into the swimming pool to take his own life. Why? Why does she need to hear this? Why is Finn so flippant about this, like it's a lesson she needs to learn? I hate this. Rachel doesn't understand the point either and asks if he's happier now but he's not, he's miserable but he's realized he has more than one thing going on and found out he's good at math and singing. I mean, that's cool and all and this guy is actually quadriplegic so I am not knocking him or his harrowing story, I'm saying the glee writers are touching on a very serious and very dark topic that I really don't think they have the skill to take on in a sensitive or even meaningful way. This really feels like a manipulative tug on the heartstrings moment and that feels exploitative. We're never seeing Sean again, he's strictly here to make Rachel feel better about possibly losing her voice and that is just not cool.
Cut to Mercedes quitting the Cheerios and dumping Puck because she doesn't want to be part of a clique that picks on other kids the way he does and she doesn't think he does either. I think she's wrong and that having any type of power is exactly what Puck likes.
Kurt and Brittany are walking down the hall and his hands are apparently so soft that she proclaims that she now knows what it's like to date a baby. Brittany is weird and a little gross. Burt comes up to them but again, he's here to pick up Finn for hoagies and motocross. Kurt is decidedly upset and tells Brittany to give them a minute. He asks Burt if he considered that maybe he might want to do those things with him too but Burt says that Finn has needed a father figure in his life and how it will be good for him.
Cue Kurt singing Rose's Turn from...G*psy: A Musical Fable. After he's embraced his voice, his father applauds him and compliments his awesome singing. Kurt is confused because he thought he was going out with Finn but Burt blew it off because he saw how upset Kurt was. Kurt tries to deny how upset he was but Burt is not that dumb or unobservant. He points out that he will support him no matter what and apologizes for getting carried away with Finn. He explains that he did dream about talking girls and going to baseball games together when he was a kid and Kurt tries to mope away but Burt isn't having it. Kurt apologizes for his behaviour but admits that seeing how easy it is for Burt to hang out with Finn breaks his heart. Burt asks if that's why he dressed differently and hung out with the weird cheerleader and Kurt confirms it. Kurt wants to work just as hard as Burt is to make things easier but Burt tells him that the only thing he has to work on is being himself and it's his job to love him no matter what. I just love Burt. He is the best dad.
Rachel is back at Sean's house without Finn. She thanks him for making her see that she isn't worthless because she lost one part of herself and wants to return the favour. She offers to give him singing lessons since her voice has actually returned. This feels like even more of a bummer to me because this guy can't just get his movement back and it's heartbreaking in a way that I don't think the glee writers intended. They sing One by U2 together and it's spliced with New Directions singing it and that's the end of the episode. The song is very nice so I'll include it here:
First off, why did they call the episode Laryngitis if she had Tonsillitis? But more importantly, why did they think it was a good idea to have an actual quadriplegic person make Rachel feel better about possibly losing her voice? It feels really insensitive and invokes the supposedly bad take that Sue had in the last episode of making yourself feel better by helping those who have it worse. I'm not saying don't help people, I'm saying it's pretty garbage to use someone's suffering to lessen your own. I don't like the message here. Much love to the actor who played Sean and I'm sure everyone was great to him on set but the message didn't land as they intended. This will not be the end of Glee biting off more than they can chew, I assure you, and we're going to have to look at all of their bad takes as we continue down our Glee journey. Take care and keep safe out there.
lmao at "the entire class stands up and cheers like it's the end of a poorly written self-insert fanfic."
ReplyDeletealso Finn complaining about Rachel feeling sorry for herself, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle WHYMEFINNPOORMEFINN
I want to attend one of Kurt's murder mystery dinners and also I LOVE BURT SO MUCH.
Also omg I remember loving Kurt's rendition of Rose's Turn. I hope it holds up.
Agree with you on the ookiness of using someone else's pain to make you feel better -- ESPECIALLY DOING IT IN FRONT OF SAID PERSON.