Glee - 114 - Hell-O

Original airdate: April 13, 2010

If you'll remember, we last left off our gang of singers had won themselves Sectionals, glee club was saved, Will was reinstated, Sue was suspended, Will asked Terri for a divorce and kissed Emma. Mirroring the very plot of the show itself, FOX renewed Glee for a new season and ordered a full first season so the kids clawed their way not only to a Sectionals win but into our hearts to force the producers and networks to let their little club remain on tv. It was all very poetic and gleeks around the world waited for new episodes like junkies waiting for their next fix. The first 13 ended in December of 2009 and we didn't get a new episode until April 13, 2010, so fans were pumped and ravenous for more.

What could go wrong? Well, not a whole lot at first but the seeds were slowly being planted to the declining quality of this show. For starters, they wanted more songs in each episode which is a hell of a lot of work for the actors but also, eats up a hell of a lot of screen time so my job is about to get much easier from here on out. The other issue is...lazy plotting. The show clearly started to care more about the flashy music and dance numbers than about plot and character development and that starts pretty quickly. For now, let's dip our toes in and begin our journey through Glee season 1, part 2.

Since they pretty much wrapped everything up in a nice bow before the long hiatus, this episode starts us off by undoing all the happy. We can't possibly move forward, guys. We have to keep the old plots going and then beat them to death, resuscitate them and then beat them back to death. It's the only way.

Oh and we finally have given the narrator a bit of caffeine because he's delivering the recap with a bit more pep than the first 13 eps. Not quite the hyper-fast delivery I remembered but getting there.

Anyway, we begin the episode with Rachel walking confidently down the hallway, joined soon by Mercedes and Kurt, happy about how differently they've been treated since winning Sectionals but oops, they get slushied because they will always be losers to Karofsky and his crew. Looking back, it's kind of neat how they developed this bully character. Well, neat and then pretty garbage but all that in due time.

Next we cut to Will complaining that they proved themselves by winning Sectionals but oops, Figgins says that the deal is still in place and now if they don't place at Regionals the club goes bye-bye. It's weird to me that this is such an issue. When I went to school, as long as a club had interest and members, it remained in place. The only thing that would make a club disappear was if absolutely no one joined and then, what is the problem? Anyway, this brings me to the next undoing and that is Sue. We all thought she was rightfully fired but oops, Jane Lynch is a big draw to the show so we gotta get her back in as the coach of the Cheerios again.

She makes suggestive comments to Figgins which implies that she gave him sexual favours for her job back. Will is basically Mark from the room though so after it's painfully obvious to everyone what happened, Will is like "Wait, what's going on here?" I mean, I get it. Sue is psycho and shouldn't be let within 50 yards of any school for any reason but it just tickled my funny bone that he asked that after she made it super uncomfortably obvious what transpired. My new head-canon is that Will failed sex ed. My theory has weight since he also couldn't figure out that his wife wasn't pregnant. Will asks what happened to the suspension and Figgins explains to Will that suspending isn't the same as expelling and reinstatement usually happens.

Next, we go to how Finn is doing and I have to say, this is where I really started to despise Finn with a passion. I'm sorry if you're a passionate Finn fan or Finchel shipper because I am decidedly not. Finn tells us that he is stressed and we are shown that he and Rachel are dating now, much to the short delight of Finchel shippers. However, he immediately trashes the relationship and says that he's not over Quinn and is clearly not interested in anything Rachel is saying. I'm not saying Rachel is perfect but I am saying that Finn is a douche and a horrible boyfriend.

PS: Puck is also terrible because he shames Quinn for supersizing her meals because he doesn't want to date a fat chick. You will eat those words, Puckerman. Also, I hate you.

Finn says he wants to be like Coach Tanaka who lost his fiance, gained 40lbs and stopped showering but no one cares. Honey, if that's your role model, there is no hope for you. He says he's off his game and he doesn't know how to get it back but all I see is a whiny privileged boy who has everything but instead of realizing that he needs to fix himself, he just wants to blame everything around him for his unhappiness. Also, I hate you.

Sue's first day back and she's already assaulting a student by chopping off his hair and making a joke about how was confusing her with his "she-male look" in a joke that has aged like milk. I'm sorry to any trans/non-binary fans of glee, that was garbage.

Will confronts Sue about how she got her job back and she spins a tale about how she worked on herself and had a frank discussion with Figgins about her moral integrity but actually, she roofied him at dinner and then took him to a motel and undressed him and basically is blackmailing him. I don't know if I feel better that they didn't sleep together or worse that she drugged and pretended to rape someone for blackmail purposes. No one wins in either scenario is what I'm getting at.

Will wants to bury the hatchet but Sue isn't having it. She wants vengeance for the fact that Will got her fired and she plans to do the same to him. Then she makes a joke about bringing some Asian cookery with her because he has enough product in his hair to season a wok and I feel like she's made that joke before. I'm having joke deja vu.

At glee practice, Will gives the kids a pep talk about the word "hello". He goes on about how Alexander Graham Bell liked to say "Ahoy Ahoy" when he answered the phone and I now can only picture Mr. Burns as Bell because that's how he answered his phone and I guess I get that joke now. Anyway, Edison apparently wanted to be boring and got everyone to say "hello" instead. Why are we getting a bizarre history lesson in a glee club? I don't know. This show can't ever seem to decide if this is an extra-curricular club or a class. Case in point, Will gives them an "assignment" to come up with a new song for Regionals but it has to have the word "hello" in the name because the best way to get a "new direction" and fresh creativity flowing is to make stupid restrictions.

Next, we cut to the most uncomfortably long staring contest I've ever witnessed and it honestly removes all the cute goodwill that the kiss from Sectionals bestowed on this couple. I am including a gif of the interaction for proof. It's awful.

Dear God...someone blink!


They agree with me that it's kind of weird but what they think is weird is that they want to kiss now intead of just whine about Will's problems. Emma doesn't want to kiss until she can go through her whole dental hygeine routine. He stops her but agrees that they should take things slow and asks her to his place for dinner. Emma has a mini orgasm in her chair.

Sue is admonishing Brittany and Santana for failing to bring down the glee club. They are going back on their heartfelt words from Sectionals because they are working with Sue to bring it down again. This doesn't make sense for their character progression but you can still kind of squint and imagine that she had made life hard for them on the Cheerios which is why they're willing to help her again. This will become harder to do in the future. Sue wants them to go after Finn since Rachel really wants him and this will make her crazy. Without Rachel, the club has no chance of winning so they want to make her quit.

Will is talking to Finn about the whole baby drama thing. I am sort of ok with this since they can both relate to being completely betrayed by their partners. Will wants Finn to push through his stress to find himself. Finn thinks he means he should meet new people or girls but he's already dating Rachel or she thinks they're dating and like...if you don't want to date her just say that to her. You didn't have to go on dates with her and if you did, then yes you are dating. Anyway, Will says that Finn is a rockstar like Jagger or Morrison which Finn likes and wouldn't you know? The Doors have a song with Hello in the title and that's what Finn begins to sing. Hello, I love You by The Doors. He does pretty decent with it so I guess he's been practicing during the hiatus. He's still not great though. He spends the song, going after Quinn and having the Cheerios fawn over him.

Rachel wants to run some ideas by Will so Brittany and Santana move in on Finn. They compliment his performance, Brittany saying that she liked his dancing. Finn is confused because he wasn't moving his feet but Brittany tells him that was the best part. Oh, Brittany. They both ask him out on a date, as in they want him to take both of them out and he is completely on board.

They invite him to Breadsticks (the show's version of Olive Garden) that night which prompts Rachel to walk over and ask what he was talking to them about. He lies to her and she can tell he is so she launches into a nervous spiel about understanding that it's not easy to date her. She asks him to be honest with her because she'll always be honest with him. So, he finally tells her that he doesn't want to be her boyfriend. Rachel is crushed and let's him have it. She calls him out for everything which freaks him out but she holds her own and tells him that he loses because she accepts him for who he is and then walks away crying silently. I hate seeing her sad but honestly, this leads to one of the better performances this episode.

Cut to glee rehearsal and Finn is openly flirting with Brittany and Santana now while Rachel watches seethingly. Will comes in and asks if anyone wants to volunteer their Hello numbers. Rachel offers to and begins singing Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects and it's a bop. I love that Finn looks super uncomfortable but everyone else is living it, including Brittany and Santana who offer back up vocals. Everyone joins is and Mike Chang, the wonderful Harry Shum does a fun dance for it. I love this performance, it looks like so much fun. I relish in Finn's unhappiness too.

Will becomes a buzzkillington though because he immediately shuts it down because it didn't conform to his boring restriction of having the word Hello in the song title. Rachel said that she was focusing mainly on the first syllable and honestly, Will should embrace the energy these kids had performing the song rather than getting butt-hurt that it didn't come from one of his little "assignments"

Come on, guys! My assignments make me feel useful



Will berates them for not taking his assignment seriously because they have to take on Vocal Adrenaline now and he fills them in on the ultimatum from Figgins. If they don't win Regionals, Glee club will be finished.

Rachel is at a music store looking for songbooks. She picks up one for Lionel Ritchie and I know exactly what song she's thinking about. Then...then this man steps into view. Jessie St James, the lead vocalist from Vocal Adrenaline. He is automatically way better looking than Finn so point one to Jessie. He criticizes her performance of Don't Rain on My Parade, saying she lacked Barbara's emotional depth but he says that she's talented. He tells her about his future plans and he is super cocky but also very much like Rachel in the overconfidence department so instead of finding it obnoxious, I just think they'd be really cute/annoying together. He asks her to sing with him as there is a piano in the store but Rachel is too nervous. He starts it off to encourage her and oh my god, it gives me feelings. Like, Hello by Lionel Ritchie is cheesy funny to me (mostly because of the hilarious video) but when Jessie sings it...um I kind of get it. It's gorgeous.




Rachel eventually joins in and oh my god, their voices are so good together. Like, the actors sang together on Broadway so of course, their voices are amazing but it's super funny to me. They cast Corey who can kind of sing ok as Finn, who is supposed to be the star singer of their team but then they bring on Jonathan Groff to be a rival and like...stupid move. First of all, he's way better looking and second of all, he has the most angelic voice. There is really no competition here. The show really shot itself in the foot.

At his date with Brittany and Santana, Finn looks miserable. They demand returns on their food after they ate their whole portions and then they start rating guys' looks in front of him. Including his own and while I don't like Finn, I've been there and it sucks, so I sympathize. They start making fun of Rachel and Finn meekly asks them to stop mocking her. He wants to be included in their conversation but they aren't interested. They want him to pay for their dinners, let them chat and then maybe they'll make out in front of him but like, not include him. I don't think that was what he had in mind when you guys said you wanted to both go out with him and I don't know why they thought this routine would work. They ask him to go wait in the car and leave his credit card and he obliges by leaving but I hope he didn't actually pay for them.

Will and Emma are dancing together in his apartment and guys, Will is super creepy. I don't know why I think this, he's clearly supposed to look sweet here but something about it feels icky. He's listening to Hello Again by Niel Diamond and he explains the lyrics to her which is annoying. They then start getting hot and heavy but Emma freaks out that they're moving too fast. She then confesses that she's a virgin and Will gets a bit freaked out. He tries to tell her it's cool but Emma can tell that it's not. He offers to pop in a movie instead.

Finn finds Rachel the next day and after his failed date tries to just get her back like she'd just be waiting for the chance to have him show up again. He's a dick. He also lists out all the things he finds annoying about her but it's cool because at least he doesn't feel alone when he's with her. Guys, don't take dating advice from Finn. He's garbage and this is not the way you win a girl. Rachel tells him he's too late because she already found a guy. She tells him who it is but Finn is automatically suspicious of the situation since Vocal Adrenaline are their main competition. She tells him to get stuffed and ditches him. Naturally, Finn automatically goes and tattles on her to Will.

Sue admonishes Santana and Brittany for failing to woo Finn but they tell her that Rachel has started dating Jessie St James from Vocal Adrenaline. This pleases Sue as she can definitely use this to her advantage to tear the club apart.

Cut to, more Groff singing and I am 10000000% on board for this because he yet again manages to make me like a song I don't normally care for. It's Highway to Hell by ACDC but my god, the man can sing so it's awesome. Plus the dancing is cool for the song. Will enters the background and when they finish, their coach, Shelby Corcoran, tells them it's not good enough. Their coach is played by another Broadway alum, the amazing Adele Dazeem! Sorry, dead meme. It's Idina Menzel or as the young'uns know her, Queen Elsa from Frozen. Will confronts her about Jessie dating Rachel and flat out accuses her of spying on them. She denies it, saying that Jessie is a good kid but the heart wants what it wants. Sometimes there's a spark.

Did you think that Will and Emma were cute together? Were you happy that they finally got together and kissed and everything was good and happy? Yeah? Did you like all that? Well, fuck you because we cut to Will furiously making out with Shelby. I mean, the relationship was already killed for me by the weird staring and cringey dance singing to Neil Diamond but this was the final nail in the coffin for me. Finn and Will are the shittiest boyfriends, my god. He stops it and Shelby asks if he's gay but no, actually he's just separated from his wife and currently dating his school's guidance counseller but he thinks it isn't working. Shelby is like "whoa, you're already dating someone else and you're not even divorced plus you just made out with me?" But somehow, she still thinks he's cute and tells him to take some time to figure himself out and when he does, he can call her.

The glee club confronts Rachel about dating their enemy and give her an ultimatum. They've worked too hard to have her throw it all away. So, they ask her to not date him until Regionals are over. That's actually not the worst idea but in teen terms, it's hard to put your hormones on hold. Rachel tries to go to bat for Jessie but they tell her to break up with him or they'll kick her out.

Rachel goes into a room where she meets Sue and what she calls McKinley High's Old Maid's Club. Basically, it's a club of so-called "ugly girls" to try to make Rachel believe that she could be one of them if she doesn't stay with Jessie. It works and she rethinks her plan to dump Jessie.

Emma is setting up a nice table at Will's house when Terri comes in. Emma keeps her chin up and holds her own against Terri's vitriol. She's there to pick up the rest of her DVDs and so she goes to get them when she finds The Jazz Singer. Emma tells Terri it's hers and explains that Hello Again is their song which is sung in that movie and Terri finally has her winning chip. You see, Hello Again was hers and Will's prom song. Emma thinks she's lying but Terri tells her to ask him or look it up in that year's Thunderclap (their school's yearbook).

Rachel is trying to find Jessie in the Vocal Adrenaline auditorium but it's super dark and unnerving so when a spotlight finally shines on her she yells out that she carries a rape whistle. Jessie finally tells her that it's just him. She asks him to be honest with him and tells him that if he is lying about actually liking her and using her to destroy her club it would kill her, not literally but emotionally and he finds her angsting amusing. He tells her that she's more of a drama queen than he is and then introduces himself to her again, not as the lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline but as the guy who's nuts about her and would never hurt her. She tells him that no one can know and then they kiss. But, uhoh, Shelby is watching them knowingly and Jessie gives her a look. Now, for most people, they saw this as confirmation that Jessie is using her but I saw it as him doing this scheme against his will. It could totally be my bias because J Groff is just really pretty and such a good singer but I really think he was playing it the way I thought in my head. Just take a look at this pic and let me know if I'm crazy or not.


Maybe I'm biased or maybe Groff just can't look sinister
but he looks like he's not ok with being made to do this.



Emma walks into her office to find Will already there. He tells her that he came home to a gorgeous meal set out by a ghost because there was no one there. Emma ignores this and tells him that she was just at the library. She holds out the book and tells him to look at page 42. He's happy about it being the junior prom but then gets uh-oh face when he realizes that he done fucked up by choosing the exact same song he had with Terri for Emma. That's messed up. He claims he didn't remember this but Emma's like maybe you didn't do this purposefully but it's weird and you clearly have issues you need to work out. Emma basically says the same thing Shelby said, that he needs to find himself first and learn to live alone. She doesn't want him to compromise himself for her crazy like he did for Terri. So, now both big ships have been sunk in one episode, not the greatest way to come back to a show you were missing for months and imagining all the great things these couples could be or do. It's reset time!

Rachel tells Finn that she dumped Jessie and then tells him to spread the word since she knows he's good at that. I love how bluntly she calls him out for being a jealous snitch. Finn says it's for the best because now they can be together again. He realized that with all his problems, all he really needed to fix was them. Uh, Finn, you were the one broke it in the first place. He wants them to be together as a real couple but Rachel has already gotten together with Jessie. She tells him that she can't be a couple with them and uses the excuse of needing to focus on Regionals. Finn tells her that she can't just blow him off like she did with Jessie and that he doesn't give up that easily.

We end the episode with a nice rendition of Hello/Goodbye by The Beatles. The gang finally have matching outfits because I guess they gave up on the ragtag, can't afford professional matching outfits angle from the first 13. Throughout the song, Finn is trying to be close to Rachel while she is avoiding him and when the song is over, she walks off the stage much to Finn's hurt. But, I don't care that he's hurt because he's the one that dumped her to date another girl.

Glee is back and they've managed to tank their main male leads and introduce a way better one that will unfortunately not be utilized enough. Sue is back to cause more havoc which, while unbelievable that she'd get away with everything she does, is fine because Jane Lynch is awesome and funny and honestly, without her snark the show would definitely be lacking something. It will wear thin soon enough but for now, we've got our set up for the rest of the season. Win at Regionals or glee club is finished.

Stay tuned for the next recap which introduces one of my most hated things about the show, the Theme Episode. Next time it's The Power of Madonna.

Comments

  1. Will looks like such a serial killer in that staring gif. Also dying at the term buzzkillington

    also awwwwww baby groffsauce

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    Replies
    1. Yes, thank you! I thought he looked either bored or like he was plotting her death in the first bit of the gif. It was so uncomfortable. Will is the biggest bag of dicks.

      Exactly! He doesn't look like he's into the plan at all and seems genuinely into Rachel to me. Also Jessie>>>>>>>>>Finn. I said it and I stand by it. Baby Groffsauce is the best.

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    2. Sorry, I may have been unclear, I took Jesse's look that he WAS in cahoots, and that the kiss with Rachel was part of the plan.

      Listen, any time a character opens their eyes WHILE kissing someone, that's the narrative telling us not to trust that kiss! That's my take, anyway.

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    3. Yeah, that makes sense but just Groff is so pretty so I forgive him? Consider this a bias.

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