Glee - 110 - Ballad

Original airdate: November 18, 2000

First off, I'm doing NaNoWriMo at the moment and that's probably going to eat up a lot of my spare writing time but I've got to get my second book done so I can edit it and then edit more and then publish, hopefully. I will try my best to post something to the blog this month but I can't guarantee consistency. Second, I unapologetically love this episode. It has a few of the problematic elements of the April Rhodes episode but I think this hits the black comedy side of it better even with its problems and I just really like it, ok? Let's get into the episode proper.

We open with Will giving the first of his many, many weird glee club lessons about ballads. Brittany thinks they're male ducks but they're actually stories set to music, essentially. For some reason, he wants them to pair off and sing ballads to each other, not necessarily love songs. This is kind of an interesting concept but we disappointingly don't get to hear most of their performances. Matt is apparently out sick with a spider in his ear which is all kinds of gross, so Will puts his name in the hat and doesn't realize this is a bad idea until he gets paired with Rachel. He tries to back out of the whole thing and wait for Matt to come back but since Finn is paired with Kurt, he's eager to watch Will squirm and goads the idea on. I don't know, Will. You didn't have too much of a problem with impropriety when you were twirling Quinn while talking about sexing during Bust a Move (a song in which my three-year-old still requests...help me).

Never forget.


Regardless of the creep factor, I forgive it because Rachel and Will start singing Endless Love on Rachel's request so they can show Artie what a ballad is and I think this entire performance is hilarious. Especially with everyone's voice overs. Rachel has now developed a crush on Will and Will is terrified of her crazy eyes, it's great comedy.

We next see Quinn trying on a chastity dress for a chastity ball which is a tradition I find immensely gross and it's not helped when the dad comes in and acts like she's his bride. Her dress suddenly doesn't fit her and her mom scolds her for quitting the Cheerios because now she doesn't get much exercise. So, they still don't know about her pregnancy, obviously. Her parents are disgustingly conservative with Quinn's mom acting like a Stepford Wife and her dad being excited for Glenn Beck. Quinn looks sad and honestly I can't blame her. That household looks like a nightmare to me.

Rachel confirms with Will about their rehearsal time and arrives with a gift, a tie covered with stars because gold stars are her thing and he can think of her and the star he's helping her become when he wears it. Will looks less than thrilled.

He later complains about it to Emma who is sympathetic to Rachel since Will is her crush as well or a crushworthy teacher as she puts it. She asks when it started and he admits that it was singing Endless Love with her and Emma's like "yeah, that was a mistake." Will gets frustrated that it's happening again and recounts the story of Suzy Pepper.

She was a student of his two years ago and had an enormous crush on him. She also gave him a novelty tie but this time covered in peppers.

I love her.


The girl who played Suzie is just the best and knows how to deliver comedic lines. I love this whole little story. Terri has to tell her off over the phone when she calls them in the middle of the night. Will decides to tell her upfront himself that it was never going to happen. It didn't go over well and Suzie ate a ghost pepper in her sadness and it burned three holes in her esophogus and put her in a medical coma for three days. As you can imagine, this makes Will nervous to tell Rachel to back off. Emma suggests instead to sing her a ballad that expresses the feelings he's feeling and let her down gently.

Kurt meanwhile, is excitedly working with Finn on their ballad but Finn is kind of a douche and snaps at him. Kurt, bless him responds in the best way and reminds me again of why I started out loving this character so much.

Kurt is just the best


To be fair to Finn, he immediately apologizes and Kurt takes the opportunity to tell him that girls are totally his issue. Finn's issue is actually the baby and he refers to her as his daughter which is really sweet. He's sad that he can't ever get to say anything to her and so Kurt suggests he use the ballad assignment to get his feelings out about her. Finn sings I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders. It seems to be making him feel a lot better and he ends up singing to the sonogram of his daughter.

This is when his mom walks in, which is a hell of a lot more awkward to explain than just watching porn. He finally comes clean to his mother who is extremely supportive in spite of looking terrified for her son. It's a sweet scene between them where he cries in her arms as she comforts him and tries hard not to cry herself.

Quinn yells at Finn the next day for telling his mother which is all kinds of garbage but I kind of get it since her parents are gearing up to not be that supportive what with the hella played up Conservative vibe they were spouting. The rest of the club looks concerned for both of them and they plot to do something nice for Finn and Quinn.

Kurt talks to Finn after and plays up the girls are crazy angle because he has ulterior motives. Kurt admits in voice over that he is madly in love with Finn in spite of the fact that he's dumber than a bag of bricks. He's hoping that Quinn will break his heart and he will end up crying on his shoulders. Oh, poor Kurt.

Meanwhile, Will is performing his ballad mash up thing to Rachel and Emma is there for support. Rachel is not pleased that Emma is there but is happy when Will tells her that there is a message in his performance that he wants her to listen close to. He does a combo of "Young Girl" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap and "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police. Here's my one really big problem with the episode summed up in song form. Here's some of the lyrics to "Young Girl":

Beneath your perfume and your make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know it's wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes

GROSS!!! There are other creepy words to this song and yes, Will sings this part to Rachel. Here are some of the lyrics to "Don't Stand so Close to Me":

Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry

Again GROSS. Do they realize that this is basically saying that he's tempted by Rachel and is frustrated so badly that it makes him want to cry because he can't act on his temptation? Because that's what that lyric means, writers. We also have this gem:

Young girl, you're out of your mind
Your love for me is way out of line

And I hate it. I hate all of it. I kind of hate those songs and bands now because I really hate this narrative that the young girls are to blame for this crush they have. It's NOT their fault, it's practically natural for young kids to develop crushes on adults they deem safe because they can project their fantasies on to them without fear of getting hurt. Sometimes, yes, they do go to far but the adult is always the one in charge and the narrative that the men/women who children or teens have crushes on are so put upon and hard done by is really, really gross because it puts the blame on kids who are out of their minds with hormones. Just let them down gently and be a fucking adult. Set boundaries but don't ever let it get to a point where it could "go too far" because that's on you, the fucking adult. I can't believe how many times I'm having to make this rant in shows about teenagers. This is a really bizarre and gross common storyline. I hate it.

Will asks if Rachel got the message and she thinks it's that she's really young and it's hard for him to stand close to her. At a loss, Will looks to Emma for help but she's too googly-eyed to help him. He's just too damned attractive, I guess. Rachel is pumped to come up with a ballad of her own to sing to Will. Suzy Pepper has witnessed this and is not impressed.

Kurt is helping Finn find something to wear to Quinn's parents for dinner. They bond over the fact that they've each lost a parent. It's a sweet scene and actualy makes me feel bad that Kurt doesn't have a chance with Finn.

Finn laments the fact that his father was a brave soldier and he's too scared to tell the Fabray's the truth about Quinn. Kurt suggests he use a weapon to which Finn thinks he means bring a gun. Oh, honey. Kurt makes it clear he means for him to sing his feelings, like he did with the sonogram. This will only end in awkwardness. I can't wait.

Will gets home only to find Rachel there, cooking and serving him drinks. He's pissed that Terri even let her in but Terri's pissed that she has to keep dealing with starry-eyed teens and she wants something out of it so she has Rachel clean their bathroom. Honestly...I kind of can't blame her. Cleaning sucks and if this crazy girl wants to do it. I mean, no it's wrong.

They argue about Rachel's crush and Will says he's going to take her home so that she won't be in their house anymore. He makes her sit in the back seat and this is kind of why I can forgive the episode, despite those songs giving me icky feelings. He's clearly trying to set boundaries with Rachel. Good on you, Will.

Rachel wants to sing her ballad to him and it's "Crush" by Jennifer Paige and as much as I really love that they didn't find it necessary to perform full songs all the time in the first season, I desperately wish this got a full version because it's hilarious, I was loving it, and we only got the first two lines of the song. I WANT MORE!!!

Will shuts off her music and blames the bad accoustics before changing the subject altogether by asking if she was still with Puck. Oh, Will, that lasted not even one full episode. This is Glee, everything is over and done with before you can get used to anything. You never know who's dating who at any given time. I jest but for real, the writers just kind of throw couple ideas at the wall to see what sticks.

Rachel says that he was too immature like most of the boys in high school. Will says that not a lot of high school guys are mature and she says she has her sights set higher. Cue Will discomfort.

Suzy threatens Rachel the next day to back off of Will but Rachel is undeterred.

Mercedes shows up for practice with Puck but she's too busy talking on the phone about babygate. Puck is annoyed and Mercedes thinks it's because he's also super distracted with the baby drama and can't concentrate on their ballad assignment but no, Puck is pissed that Finn is getting all the attention. So pissed that he blurts out that he's the father but instead of getting attention or sympathy, he gets Mercedes' anger as she tells him off and tells him to keep quiet about it so as not to upset Quinn. This feels really bizarre for her to be automatically shutting Puck down instead of being floored that he's the father and asking what the heck happened but, ok.

Dinner at the Fabray's and it's as awkward as I imagined it would be. Mr. Fabray starts to give a toast about his family and it makes Finn so uncomfortable, he excuses himself to the bathroom where he calls Kurt for support. Kurt convinces him to go through with their plan and it's really bad but gloriously cringe.


The delightfully awkward mood of Finn telling the Fabrays that he knocked Quinn up by singing them "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka and Odia Coates is quickly ruined by Mr. Fabray freaking the fuck out. He tells a story about how Quinn fell asleep in his arms at a baseball game and I'm still not sure the point he was trying to make. Maybe that she was his little girl and he didn't care that she didn't enjoy sports? The point is, he feels like his daughter has betrayed him by not being sweet and innocent and pure which is honestly really, really gross. The whole Purity/Chastity Ball thing is gross. I'm sorry if that's your tradition but it's really purile and creepy, especially the part where the girl is forced to make a promise to her father like they're getting married.


Yuck to Quinn's parents and yuck to the whole tradition


This scene is heartbreakingly sad as Quinn tries to stand up for herself but her mother refuses to help her and her father disowns her and tells her to get out of the house. It's hard to watch, even now and it makes you feel bad for Quinn even though she's kind of been terrible to both Finn and Puck so far. It's just, this entire speech Quinn gives to her mother who is just sitting there and letting her husband throw her daughter out kills me to hear and Dianna really knocks it out of the park:



Quinn: But you knew. And I needed you. I needed my mom. And you were so scared of what he would do if he found out you just pushed it aside like we do every bad feeling in this house. If you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.



Fortunately, Finn brings Quinn to his house and his mom steps up like a boss and lets her stay with them. It sucks that Carole is given all of this burden to hold onto when she's probably terrified for her own kid but the Fabrays suck so badly, she has to look after their kid too. Props to her because this can't be easy to deal with and she's probably going to help them out financially too because, again, the American health care system sucks and they pay for literally everything out of pocket.


Next day in the girls bathroom, Suzy confronts Rachel again but instead of what we assume where she wants to fight Rachel over Will, she instead gives Rachel some sage advice. She tells her that her crush on Will was misplaced and harmful to her self-esteem and will be harmful to Rachel's as well. She tells her to get some self-respect and get her mildly attractive groove back. It's actually kind of good advice but I still dislike the framing of the student being in the wrong for their crush. Rachel did nothing wrong by developing feelings for a teacher, she did do something wrong by acting too strongly on it but it really was up to Will to say something sooner.


Thankfully we cut to Will doing exactly that. Setting up boundaries again by not letting her sing a ballad to him (he never should have sang to her in the first place). Still he finally takes responsibility which is why I can forgive this episode a lot and I still really enjoy it. Rachel agrees that she overstepped and said that her song was going to be "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" by Elton John because she knows he likes it and she wants to apologize. She then gets down on her self for being an idiot for mooning over him and cleaning his apartment and Will steps up to be a good support for her, telling her that he knows she has it hard sometimes but that she will eventually find someone that will like her for her, even the parts she may think she wants to change. It's very nice and he compliments her ballads so Rachel's back to being happy really quick.


Kurt and Finn are talking about how Quinn's parents suck for kicking her out and Kurt apologizes for his plan backfiring. Finn is ok because he's glad everything is out in the open. I agree with this, sometimes it sucks worse to hold in your lie and your troubles than it does to let them out, even if people reject you for it. At least you know. Finn asks Kurt what ballad he's working on and Kurt blurts out that his song is "I Honestly Love You" Finn being the dummy he is, doesn't get it but is supportive to Kurt by saying that it sounds awesome.


Mercedes interrupts them and asks them to come  to the choir room. Finn asks if there's cake but there isn't any and he's disappointed. I can 100% relate to that feeling. Instead, Mercedes asks him to sit down next to Quinn. Will tells them that the glee club wants to sing a ballad to them to let them know how they feel about them. They sing "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers. You know, I have mixed feelings about this song. On the one hand, it's super over done and a bit trite but on the other...I really love it because it is uplifting and very singable and works so well in this scene. The whole gang is together and happy and supporting each other. It's a nice note to end the episode on. Finn and Quinn even join in with the dancing.


LEAN ON ME!


I'm so happy that this episode still holds up for me because it's one of my favourites and it is mainly for the Suzy Pepper plot because she's just really funny. Even if I can't really take anymore songs from men talking about how "dangerous" underage girls are to them and how they're worried these UNDERAGE girls will "make them go too far", I think the plotline of Rachel getting a crush on Will was handled surprisingly well and I'm glad they kept things light and he set boundaries like an adult before things did go too far, because here's the thing, a teen is not going to see how wrong it is. In short, their judgement is not the best (especially when whacked out on hormones).


We're getting close to the end of the first 13 episodes of Glee and soon we'll be getting into the back 9 but first, episode 11 is next with Hairography. I remember liking this one quite a bit too and I'm hoping it also holds up. Stay tuned.

Comments

  1. whaaaaa Suzy Pepper is played by Sarah Drew! Wow, she just always plays weirdos. Also man, you're really having bad luck with your current shows and inappropriate adulting around teens. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?? I'm actually planning a longer rant on that very topic because it's rampant and the teens are always portrayed as at fault.

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