Hello, Dear Readers. I feel like just having a bit of fun today with this short little entry before the next recap I post. Today, I want to take you back, way back to the year 1999 when TLC released the mantra to end all mantras for most girls at the time.
It's a huge hit and very fondly remembered even today but does anyone remember when a group of nobodies actually tried to make a comeback song to it? Comeback or rebuttal songs always intrigue me, from Sweet Home Alabama directly responding to Neil Young's Southern Man to Ice Cube's No Vaseline responding to NWA just in general. There is something so deliciously satisfying when two artists butt heads for whatever reason and you witness this debate in song form. Who wins, who loses? It's sometimes hard to tell because anger can lead to some intense and engaging music regardless of whose side you're on.
Except in this case. No Scrubs is a fun little song that's mostly tongue in cheek whereas No Pigeons by a group called Sporty Thievz is just the worst. I distinctly remember when it came out, most people's reactions being, huh? Who are these people? This is lame. Oh sure, teenaged boys liked the song because they saw it as the epic takedown of ungrateful bitches who refused to date them and that brings me to the reason No Pigeon is both a horrible song and a bad rebuttal.
Let's compare and contrast for fun, shall we? We'll start with No Scrubs, it opens like this:
Moving on to the pre-chorus, here's No Scrubs:
Final round is the chorus. We all know the mantra but let's break it down anyway:
The rest of No Pigeons kind of devolves into some really nasty name-calling. It comes across like TLC really touched a nerve with their lighthearted "hey don't act like you're all that when you're broke, bumming rides and expect me to be impressed enough to go out with you" pop song. Because their response amounts to "oh yeah? Well, your hair is fake! Look how cool our car is! Nuh-uh, I'm not broke, you are!" With a few "bitches" littered throughout for good measure because of course, they can't just have a fun, lighthearted counter song. They have to show those snotty women who the boss is.
There's a reason that No Scrubs is remembered so well and played everywhere while No Pigeons has basically been forgotten from the public consciousness. It's just not a fun song. It's kind of ugly. I'm not saying that guys can't have a song about the types of women that annoy them (there are a ton of those) I'm just saying that maybe responding to a song about obnoxious braggarts by being obnoxious braggarts who complain that women don't want to date them, probably isn't the best idea. It just kind of shows they were right to tell you no.
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| It's true, we can't go back on it |
Except in this case. No Scrubs is a fun little song that's mostly tongue in cheek whereas No Pigeons by a group called Sporty Thievz is just the worst. I distinctly remember when it came out, most people's reactions being, huh? Who are these people? This is lame. Oh sure, teenaged boys liked the song because they saw it as the epic takedown of ungrateful bitches who refused to date them and that brings me to the reason No Pigeon is both a horrible song and a bad rebuttal.
Let's compare and contrast for fun, shall we? We'll start with No Scrubs, it opens like this:
A scrub is a guy that thinks he's flyBasically, they don't want a guy who goes around bragging about how awesome he is when in reality, he's an unemployed loser. It's a good opening thesis that defines their argument well and promises what's to come. So how does No Pigeons open?
He's also known as a busta (Busta, busta)
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
A Pigeon is a girl who be walkin' bySo...a pigeon is a girl who's walking by but doesn't say hi to him despite the fact that he's quite sure her feet hurt. Not a strong start, guys. The girls clearly defined who they were talking about and why they don't like them. You guys are bragging about your car and whining that a girl wasn't interested in you. Point goes to TLC, hands down.
My rimmed up blue, brand new sparklin' five
Her feet hurt so you know she want a ride
But she frontin' like she can't say hi
What?
Moving on to the pre-chorus, here's No Scrubs:
So no, I don't want your number (Uh, uh)So, again, some guy is harassing them for a date and they are saying they're not interested. How does No Pigeons handle this section?
No, I don't want to give you mine and
No, I don't want to meet you nowhere (No, no)
No, I don't want none of your time and (Uh)
(Uh oh) Ya'll chicks ain't gettin' nadaThey've been rejected and so they are doing exactly what the first verse of No Scrubs is complaining about, a guy who brags despite being a Buster. This is the part that really falls apart for me because while No Scrubs is just turning a guy down who is clearly hounding them, they are tearing a woman down who wasn't interested in them at all. It just doesn't work as a rebuttal, it's more of an acknowledgement that they are the Scrubs in question and they're butthurt that TLC doesn't want them to waste their time so they resort to demeaning them and saying "Nuh uh! I didn't want you anyway!!" Again, point to TLC.
(Uh oh) Your pussy ain't worth the Ramada
(Uh oh) Anyway your friend looks hotter
(Uh oh) Game is somethin' we got alot a
Final round is the chorus. We all know the mantra but let's break it down anyway:
No, I don't want no scrubsSo, the girls are now drilling the point home from what they've set up in the previous sections and it's catchy as hell. How do our boys handle their chorus?
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Trying to holla at me x2
Cause I don't want no PigeonsOk, let me try this...a pigeon is a girl who...he won't dub. I'm just going to assume that dubs means money because guys can't seem to stop themselves from treating interactions with women as transactions. Basically, she won't get his money. A pigeon also tries to get free drinks at the bar in her best friend's coat and tries to holler at him. I'll give them a point for finally defining something a "Pigeon" does that's annoying but only for the playing the bar for free drinks bit. Girls borrow each other's clothes all the time and I don't really see that as putting a fake image out unless they're bragging about owning it. This is also the first time they've indicated that the girl wants them and they find her annoying rather than being annoyed that the girl won't give them the attention they require from her so I don't really buy it.
Them be them girls who gets no dubs from me
Playin' the bar dumb broke wit her best friend's coat
Tryin' to holler at me
The rest of No Pigeons kind of devolves into some really nasty name-calling. It comes across like TLC really touched a nerve with their lighthearted "hey don't act like you're all that when you're broke, bumming rides and expect me to be impressed enough to go out with you" pop song. Because their response amounts to "oh yeah? Well, your hair is fake! Look how cool our car is! Nuh-uh, I'm not broke, you are!" With a few "bitches" littered throughout for good measure because of course, they can't just have a fun, lighthearted counter song. They have to show those snotty women who the boss is.
There's a reason that No Scrubs is remembered so well and played everywhere while No Pigeons has basically been forgotten from the public consciousness. It's just not a fun song. It's kind of ugly. I'm not saying that guys can't have a song about the types of women that annoy them (there are a ton of those) I'm just saying that maybe responding to a song about obnoxious braggarts by being obnoxious braggarts who complain that women don't want to date them, probably isn't the best idea. It just kind of shows they were right to tell you no.
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| Game set and match, TLC |
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