Original air date: October 7, 2009
Gleecap time and we're jumping right into Vitamin D, arguably the best and funniest episode of Glee. After last week's revelation of how uncomfortable The Rhodes Not Taken makes me feel watching it as an adult, let's see if this one still holds up.
We open with the club half-heartedly practicing their dance routine because they've apparently become complacent and believe that they will have no trouble winning sectionals. Will is annoyed because he doesn't want them to coast because then they won't be ready for nationals. He complains to Emma about it but she can't stop staring at the contrived mustard on his chin so that they can have a cliché "I'll get that for you" touchy/feely moment.
With that out of the way, she asks him when the club decided they were all that when before they were worried about not winning. Will explains that it happened when he announced that there were only two teams competing against them and it's a deaf school and a halfway house for girls getting out of juvie. They're all stoked because they're a shoe in to win now and have since not been trying very hard. Will wants to motivate them and Emma tries to give him helpful tips but Sue snarks that she motivates her girls by randomly selecting one to kick out every week. How many cheerleaders does she have? I mean, yeah jokey joke about her awfulness and all but logically, she'd be out of cheerleaders so fast that she really wouldn't have a team fit to compete in their national championships, not when the East Compton Clovers are out there giving it their all. Sue better bring it, is what' I'm getting at.
Sue insults Emma's blouse for being insane and then leaves them alone to flirt converse some more. Emma can't believe Sue's allowed to teach at the school but Will thinks she has a point.
Cut to him telling the kids that they are going to compete against each other to try to improve themselves before sectionals. He splits them up by gender. There is a brief gag where Kurt tries to go to the girl's side but is told to go to the boys. It's kind of sad because clearly, he likes hanging out with the girls better but then they retcon this next season so I guess we should just forget this moment. Anyway, Will explains that they will each perform a mash-up, boys versus girls and whoever has the best song gets to choose which one they'll perform at sectionals.
Rachel is excited but nervous about how impartial Will can be and he assures her that there will be a celebrity judge. This gets everyone excited for who it could be but Will keeps it a mystery so that they'll do the work and show up to the performance. Spoilers, there is no celebrity judge, he just asks Emma to help him. Somehow none of the kids get pissed at this but I did on their behalf. Don't be all cute tossing around words like celebrity judge if you aren't intending to actually have a celebrity judge. Words mean things, Will!
The girls are pumped and the guys swear they are going to, in Artie's words "smack them down like the hand of God." Will notices Finn looks spacey and asks if he's ok. Finn just says he's worn out and the guys drag him off to football practice.
Sue is writing in her journal, as she often does in this show and the gag is usually pretty amusing. She's complaining about Quinn's knee slightly quivering in practice. When she asks Quinn what's up, she says she's just tired from Glee club which pisses Sue right the hell off. She swears that she will get vengeance on Will personally for tiring out her head cheerleader and threatening her own championship win.
Sue decides to tell Terri about Will and Emma flirting but goes a step further by implying they're having an affair or very fast on their way to affairsville. She suggests that Terri get a job at the school to keep an eye on things (and throw Will off) by applying for the school nurse job. The school nurse is in a coma from a bad fall, hard cut to Sue tripping the poor woman on the stairs. Here's the thing, this is where I find the dark comedy works the best. Sue is vicious and conniving and the shot is timed perfectly with her feigning concern. It's an outlandish moment that I'm perfectly fine overlooking as a gag, why? I don't know it just works for me.
Terri applies for a job with Figgins and he says he can't hire her because of the whole, supremely not qualified to be a nurse because her only experience is working at a Bed Bath and Beyond knockoff. Terri assures him that she knows first aid because she's an assistant manager and even used a defibrillator at some point. Figgins gives her a look that says "you crazy, bitch."
Cut to Will and Emma in the lunchroom talking about Will's mash-up competition where he tells her that she's going to be the celebrity judge. Will, we've been over this, WORDS. MEAN. THINGS. You got your kids excited for a celebrity judge and you give them their guidance counseller? Just tell them that you're going to ask a female staff member to help him decide so that it's even. Why the need to trick them with fake celebrities? Why is this the thing I'm most upset with this episode and not the attempted murder by Sue? Is there something wrong with me?? I suppose I should be thankful that there is no adult seeking underage sex this episode but I just can't with this stupid little detail.
Terri pops into the lunchroom to see Will gushing over how impartial and honest Emma is and this sets her off. She barges in to introduce herself to Emma as Will's pregnant wife and then cleans lipstick off of Emma's coffee mug by licking her thumb and rubbing it. This is not ok for Emma. Will asks Terri why she's popped in to visit and she informs them that she's the new school nurse so I guess we're going to get a flashback to how Figgins went from "you crazy, bitch" to "bitch you're hired!" but nope, she just says that she doesn't need qualifications because it's a public school. Both Will and Emma look horrified at the prospect of Terri being there all the time. Now how will they flirt with each other all the time??
Coach Tanaka is going over their moves but Finn can't concentrate because his mind is overworked worrying about Quinn and her pregnancy and the fact that he can't get Rachel out of his head even if she freaks him out in a Swimfan kind of way. Quick sidebar to say that I completely love that they referenced that movie because I adore it. It is absolutely terrible but in a wonderful way and I kind of love watching trashy vindictive lover fucks up guys life movies because they're all trashy and fun. Moving back to the plot: Finn thinks Rachel is great because she can sing and her body is smoking; if you don't like boobs. Guys suck sometimes. I mean, at least he didn't say this to her, he's just thinking it but still, I hate it. He goes on about how little energy he has, even though he gave up homework and then Kurt and Puck are staring at him because he passed out during mashup practice. They tell him to go see the nurse so that he can get better.
Meanwhile, Rachel is trying to rally the girl's team but none of them are having it. They think they can beat the guys without even trying. Rachel tells them they need to practice but Mercedes wants to just wing it. The other girls agree with Mercedes and Rachel walks off pissed.
Finn walks in to find Terri is the new nurse and introduces himself since he knows that she's Will's wife. She immediately recognizes his name as the one who is dating Quinn and compliments him on his bone structure. Finn ignores it and asks if he can lie down for a bit because he's been feeling over-tired. She asks him what's wrong and he says his mind is overworked and he can't sleep. He admits he's thinking about football plays and girls and dance steps and girls. Terri takes umbrage to the girl's thing since he's dating Quinn and she's feeling insecure about her own marriage. Finn asks if it's possible to be into to girls at the same time and Terri quickly tells him no and that flirting is cheating. I feel super called out right now but also yes it is unfortunately super possible to be into two people at once and it sucks and can mess up your brain and send you into spirals of stress and depression and self-loathing. Uh, back to the episode. Finn wants to sleep but Terri shames him by telling him all the stuff she managed to do in highschool but then she wonders how she even managed it. Then she remembers that she did it with the help of Sudofedrin. She tells him to take a few in the morning every day and that certainly cannot be healthy but she tells him that it should be fine because they're over the counter. This is why Figgins should not have hired her.
We cut to Finn being over-hyper and energized. He is raring to go with the number and the boys are all super confused. He tells them he got a vitamin from the nurse and feels great now. They ask him what vitamin and he tells them Vitamin D (He said the episode title!!) and that he got them some too. Cut to the mash-up of It's My Life by Bon Jovi and Confessions by Usher which is awesome.
Everyone is super impressed by their performance and Will says that the girls better bring it or else this is their opening number for sectionals. Rachel is decidedly unimpressed but man, the mash-up is really good.
Rachel then confronts Quinn and asks why she hasn't seen her at glee rehearsals. Quinn says she isn't superwoman but Rachel sees through it and tells her that she shouldn't be embarrassed because no one in glee will judge her and excuse you, Rachel. That is a big fat lie considering she just saw Santana and Brittany make a snide comment about Quinn needing to buy elastic waist pants. But she is trying to be nice and supportive which is nice considering she wants to date Finn and is jealous of Quinn. Rachel says she doesn't hate Quinn because she now knows what it's like to be an outsider. She asks her back to glee because it's fun and they'll be there for her when the chips are down and she can't fit in her cheerleading uniform anymore. Quinn says she would have tortured Rachel if the roles were reversed and Rachel says she knows. This makes Quinn reconsider.
Terri calls up Howard Bamboo and asks him to pick her up more boxes of decongestant because she wants the kids to be healthy. He asks her how many and she tells him 36 which makes him understandably nervous. Ken then walks in and wants to talk to her about the Will and Emma situation. He is also nervous about it and Terri admits that she only took this job to keep an eye on them and she wants out because she hates working five days a week. Ken suggests they start dating to cancel the other two out. Terri asks if they're still having sex, ignoring the awful proposition. Ken admits that they haven't had sex because Emma hates being touched...by him. Terri tries to console him but then tells him to toughen up. She then tells him to propose to Emma.
Rachel is once again trying to rally the girls into action since the boys were so good and now she's nervous that they'll get the sectionals song and not the girls. They all wonder how the boys did it since they've never been good and then Kurt walks in and tells them that the right question to ask is what were they on? Kurt is annoyed that the boys didn't use any of his suggestions and turns on them, revealing that they all took something.
Finn is still hopped up on the D and is energetically walking down the hall when Rachel calls him out and calls him F-Rod. Finn complains that she doesn't know what kind of pressure he's under and she tells him that she is too but manages it with a rigorous diet and exercise routine. We get a montage of her morning routine. He tells her that the only reason she's so pissed is because the girls can't beat the boys and she knows it. This gives Rachel an idea.
The girls are all in Terri's office where she is giving them all a dose of the D, except Quinn who gets folic acid instead. Rachel questions if they should be doing this and Terri once again says that it's over the counter so it's safe. That's...not how that works. Terri says they can trust her because she's a nurse. The girls all down the pills.
Will asks what's up with Ken and Terri proudly says that she put him on a new vitamin regimen. Will asks if that's safe since she's not actually a qualified nurse and she gets mad at him for criticizing her work. Emma comes in and this makes Terri start to get extra flirty with Will to make her jealous. The effect is that Will gets super upset and tells Terri that her working at the school is bad for their marriage since there is no separation and now they have nothing to talk about. Will then gets up to go to the bathroom and when Terri wants to go with him he tells her that he loves her but needs his space.
Terri then pushes Ken to ask Emma to marry him. So, he goes up to her in the lunchroom of their place of work and awkwardly asks Emma to marry him. He gives her a very earnest speech and then shows her a ring which he informs her is cubic zirconia since he knows she was very affected by Black Diamond.
The girls then perform a mash-up of Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves and Halo by Beyonce. Rachel gives a very hyper speech about why they picked their songs and it's honestly my favourite thing ever and honestly still relevant in today's shitty times.
Isn't she adorable? I love this so much but I love their mash-up even more. Honestly, I think it's better than the boys, even though theirs was great, I like this one just a bit better because it is really fun and happy. Will is suitably impressed and Will says their celebrity judge has her work cut out for her and surprisingly none of the students are as upset as I was to learn that their celebrity was Emma. This still bothers me but whatever.
Will asks Emma to walk with him and Emma congratulates him on motivating the kids with some good clean motivation but Will wants to ask her if it's true if Ken asked her to marry him. Emma confirms the rumour and Will asks her what she'll do but she doesn't know. She asks him if he knows if she has any other options and Will asks if that's a reason to marry someone, dodging the obvious subtext question Emma asked. Terri sees this and is unimpressed.
Terri confronts Emma about the situation and Emma puts her desk between them out of nervousness. Terri then belittles Emma and tells her she has no shot, rather than take it, Emma shoots back that Will is a good man and deserves a lot better than Terri. She's not insanely wrong I suppose, but I wouldn't say Will is honest. Terri reaffirms that Will is her husband and that it's easy for her to be nice to Will for an hour a day. She then calls her out for being so nice and innocent as to go after a married man with a pregnant wife which suitably schools Emma into silence. Terri then tells Emma to marry the mole, basically and if you get that reference, you're as old and/or dorky as me.
Quinn tries to talk to Terri about the baby and Terri asks if she's having it right now to which Quinn asks "aren't you supposed to be a nurse?" which you don't have to be a nurse to know that pregnancy doesn't work this way. Lord do we wish it were that quick but alas it's not. Anyway, Quinn says she wants to take Terri up on the offer because she really enjoys her life and doesn't want to raise the baby yet. Terri asks if Finn is ok with this because she doesn't want any baby daddy drama when she gets the baby. Quinn then thanks Terri for giving her vitamins for the baby but then brings up the doctor's bills that she's going to need but Terri shuts that down because she's going to be handling the bills for 18 years so Quinn should be able to handle 9 months which I never understood. Terri wants a healthy baby, right? She really expects a teen to be able to afford the astronomical medical costs of birthing a baby in the States? My god, that's insane. Someone posted that it cost $20,000+ dollars to have a baby in the States and that is just insane to me. How are people supposed to afford to have kids? It makes me happy that I live in Canada where I saw exactly zero bills to have my kids. I only have to deal with the after part, that Terri is worried about. Terri says that she's making the right call and I just want to tell Quinn that she can find another parent that would be willing to help her with the costs.
Emma confronts Ken about what the marriage would mean and honestly, her demands are pretty fucking mean. She wants to keep her last name (fine), continue living apart, and not spend time together after school. So, why the fuck would she want to marry him if he repulses her so much? Just cut him loose! There are other men that won't revolt you who would like to date you...then again her track record attracting good looking men is not great...
She also doesn't want any witnesses to their wedding, or to tell anyone and tells him it could be a secret wedding and Ken says that's a better deal than he expected. Honestly, I'm kind of sad for Ken right now. Poor guy. I'm sure you can find someone who actually likes you, Ken! It doesn't have to be like this, this is so mean. Emma tells him he's a really good man and that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life alone and that she knows he doesn't either. She then says yes.
Finn calls Rachel out for cheating and calls her A-Rach. She defends herself by saying that she was just evening out the playing field and Finn asks her if she really believes that. She doesn't and she feels terrible and Finn agrees because he doesn't even remember performing. They both agree to tell Will and withdraw from the competition so that no one wins. Rachel apologizes for calling Finn names the other day and says she's realized that she gets too caught up in the competition. She wants to stop competing for herself and start competing alongside the rest of the glee club.
Will and Terri are in Figgins office and Will is upset that she drugged his kids. She continues with the over the counter defense but it's not working this time. Figgins informs her that Howard Bamboo got arrested because of the large quantities of decongestants he was buying. I'm not sure why Figgins would care about or know Howard Bamboo but I guess in this universe, everyone knows everyone. Terri says she was just trying to help Will and he shoots back that she shouldn't because every time he finds a way to light a fire in his life, she finds a way to make it burn the forest down. He's super pissed. Figgins finally gets some sense and asks her to resign as their school nurse. Figgins then says that he also questions Will's judgment and that he fostered too competitive an atmosphere for the students which pushed them to seek out the drugs in the first place. A bit unfair but whatever, Figgins. He assigns him a co-chair for glee club.
The kids apologize to Will for getting him in trouble and he informs them that it's not as simple as moving on from this situation. He's been assigned a co-chair and it's none other than Sue Sylvester. No one looks happy about this.
Emma confronts Will after this to throw more salt in his wounds and inform him that she accepted Ken's proposal. I think she's still hoping that he'll profess his love for her and save her from her intentional bad choice but Will instead, swallows his sadness and congratulates her. They go their separate ways but exchange a longing look back at each other.
Rachel junks the decongestant and starts her morning routine the right way again but instead of her goal being to win a tony, it is now much simpler: Sectionals. Because now she's focusing on her team instead of only her own goals. The end.
Ah, this was such a nice change of pace. This episode still holds up really well and is still enjoyable funny without being too overtly uncomfortable and gross. Is it bad that an adult was essentially drugging kids? Yes but this is a situation that I can forgive an over-exaggerated dark comedy for. I can't really forgive a show for teens trying to play off an adult predator as a joke because honestly, that trope is way too uncomfortably common in teen shows. Still, this episode is great and it gives us 2 of the best performances in Glee, also holy cow, there were only 2 songs performed in this entire episode. Remember when this show actually had a storyline and only used songs sometimes in relation to the plot? This will likely never happen again but my recapping will be a lot easier in the later seasons, I'll basically just be listing all the songs performed with a few wacky scenes in between.
Next up will be Throwdown which is another episode I remember for being really funny.
Gleecap time and we're jumping right into Vitamin D, arguably the best and funniest episode of Glee. After last week's revelation of how uncomfortable The Rhodes Not Taken makes me feel watching it as an adult, let's see if this one still holds up.
We open with the club half-heartedly practicing their dance routine because they've apparently become complacent and believe that they will have no trouble winning sectionals. Will is annoyed because he doesn't want them to coast because then they won't be ready for nationals. He complains to Emma about it but she can't stop staring at the contrived mustard on his chin so that they can have a cliché "I'll get that for you" touchy/feely moment.
With that out of the way, she asks him when the club decided they were all that when before they were worried about not winning. Will explains that it happened when he announced that there were only two teams competing against them and it's a deaf school and a halfway house for girls getting out of juvie. They're all stoked because they're a shoe in to win now and have since not been trying very hard. Will wants to motivate them and Emma tries to give him helpful tips but Sue snarks that she motivates her girls by randomly selecting one to kick out every week. How many cheerleaders does she have? I mean, yeah jokey joke about her awfulness and all but logically, she'd be out of cheerleaders so fast that she really wouldn't have a team fit to compete in their national championships, not when the East Compton Clovers are out there giving it their all. Sue better bring it, is what' I'm getting at.
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| The Clovers will destroy you, Sue (gif from Bring It On) |
Sue insults Emma's blouse for being insane and then leaves them alone to flirt converse some more. Emma can't believe Sue's allowed to teach at the school but Will thinks she has a point.
Cut to him telling the kids that they are going to compete against each other to try to improve themselves before sectionals. He splits them up by gender. There is a brief gag where Kurt tries to go to the girl's side but is told to go to the boys. It's kind of sad because clearly, he likes hanging out with the girls better but then they retcon this next season so I guess we should just forget this moment. Anyway, Will explains that they will each perform a mash-up, boys versus girls and whoever has the best song gets to choose which one they'll perform at sectionals.
Rachel is excited but nervous about how impartial Will can be and he assures her that there will be a celebrity judge. This gets everyone excited for who it could be but Will keeps it a mystery so that they'll do the work and show up to the performance. Spoilers, there is no celebrity judge, he just asks Emma to help him. Somehow none of the kids get pissed at this but I did on their behalf. Don't be all cute tossing around words like celebrity judge if you aren't intending to actually have a celebrity judge. Words mean things, Will!
The girls are pumped and the guys swear they are going to, in Artie's words "smack them down like the hand of God." Will notices Finn looks spacey and asks if he's ok. Finn just says he's worn out and the guys drag him off to football practice.
Sue is writing in her journal, as she often does in this show and the gag is usually pretty amusing. She's complaining about Quinn's knee slightly quivering in practice. When she asks Quinn what's up, she says she's just tired from Glee club which pisses Sue right the hell off. She swears that she will get vengeance on Will personally for tiring out her head cheerleader and threatening her own championship win.
Sue decides to tell Terri about Will and Emma flirting but goes a step further by implying they're having an affair or very fast on their way to affairsville. She suggests that Terri get a job at the school to keep an eye on things (and throw Will off) by applying for the school nurse job. The school nurse is in a coma from a bad fall, hard cut to Sue tripping the poor woman on the stairs. Here's the thing, this is where I find the dark comedy works the best. Sue is vicious and conniving and the shot is timed perfectly with her feigning concern. It's an outlandish moment that I'm perfectly fine overlooking as a gag, why? I don't know it just works for me.
Terri applies for a job with Figgins and he says he can't hire her because of the whole, supremely not qualified to be a nurse because her only experience is working at a Bed Bath and Beyond knockoff. Terri assures him that she knows first aid because she's an assistant manager and even used a defibrillator at some point. Figgins gives her a look that says "you crazy, bitch."
Cut to Will and Emma in the lunchroom talking about Will's mash-up competition where he tells her that she's going to be the celebrity judge. Will, we've been over this, WORDS. MEAN. THINGS. You got your kids excited for a celebrity judge and you give them their guidance counseller? Just tell them that you're going to ask a female staff member to help him decide so that it's even. Why the need to trick them with fake celebrities? Why is this the thing I'm most upset with this episode and not the attempted murder by Sue? Is there something wrong with me?? I suppose I should be thankful that there is no adult seeking underage sex this episode but I just can't with this stupid little detail.
Terri pops into the lunchroom to see Will gushing over how impartial and honest Emma is and this sets her off. She barges in to introduce herself to Emma as Will's pregnant wife and then cleans lipstick off of Emma's coffee mug by licking her thumb and rubbing it. This is not ok for Emma. Will asks Terri why she's popped in to visit and she informs them that she's the new school nurse so I guess we're going to get a flashback to how Figgins went from "you crazy, bitch" to "bitch you're hired!" but nope, she just says that she doesn't need qualifications because it's a public school. Both Will and Emma look horrified at the prospect of Terri being there all the time. Now how will they flirt with each other all the time??
Coach Tanaka is going over their moves but Finn can't concentrate because his mind is overworked worrying about Quinn and her pregnancy and the fact that he can't get Rachel out of his head even if she freaks him out in a Swimfan kind of way. Quick sidebar to say that I completely love that they referenced that movie because I adore it. It is absolutely terrible but in a wonderful way and I kind of love watching trashy vindictive lover fucks up guys life movies because they're all trashy and fun. Moving back to the plot: Finn thinks Rachel is great because she can sing and her body is smoking; if you don't like boobs. Guys suck sometimes. I mean, at least he didn't say this to her, he's just thinking it but still, I hate it. He goes on about how little energy he has, even though he gave up homework and then Kurt and Puck are staring at him because he passed out during mashup practice. They tell him to go see the nurse so that he can get better.
Meanwhile, Rachel is trying to rally the girl's team but none of them are having it. They think they can beat the guys without even trying. Rachel tells them they need to practice but Mercedes wants to just wing it. The other girls agree with Mercedes and Rachel walks off pissed.
Finn walks in to find Terri is the new nurse and introduces himself since he knows that she's Will's wife. She immediately recognizes his name as the one who is dating Quinn and compliments him on his bone structure. Finn ignores it and asks if he can lie down for a bit because he's been feeling over-tired. She asks him what's wrong and he says his mind is overworked and he can't sleep. He admits he's thinking about football plays and girls and dance steps and girls. Terri takes umbrage to the girl's thing since he's dating Quinn and she's feeling insecure about her own marriage. Finn asks if it's possible to be into to girls at the same time and Terri quickly tells him no and that flirting is cheating. I feel super called out right now but also yes it is unfortunately super possible to be into two people at once and it sucks and can mess up your brain and send you into spirals of stress and depression and self-loathing. Uh, back to the episode. Finn wants to sleep but Terri shames him by telling him all the stuff she managed to do in highschool but then she wonders how she even managed it. Then she remembers that she did it with the help of Sudofedrin. She tells him to take a few in the morning every day and that certainly cannot be healthy but she tells him that it should be fine because they're over the counter. This is why Figgins should not have hired her.
We cut to Finn being over-hyper and energized. He is raring to go with the number and the boys are all super confused. He tells them he got a vitamin from the nurse and feels great now. They ask him what vitamin and he tells them Vitamin D (He said the episode title!!) and that he got them some too. Cut to the mash-up of It's My Life by Bon Jovi and Confessions by Usher which is awesome.
Everyone is super impressed by their performance and Will says that the girls better bring it or else this is their opening number for sectionals. Rachel is decidedly unimpressed but man, the mash-up is really good.
Rachel then confronts Quinn and asks why she hasn't seen her at glee rehearsals. Quinn says she isn't superwoman but Rachel sees through it and tells her that she shouldn't be embarrassed because no one in glee will judge her and excuse you, Rachel. That is a big fat lie considering she just saw Santana and Brittany make a snide comment about Quinn needing to buy elastic waist pants. But she is trying to be nice and supportive which is nice considering she wants to date Finn and is jealous of Quinn. Rachel says she doesn't hate Quinn because she now knows what it's like to be an outsider. She asks her back to glee because it's fun and they'll be there for her when the chips are down and she can't fit in her cheerleading uniform anymore. Quinn says she would have tortured Rachel if the roles were reversed and Rachel says she knows. This makes Quinn reconsider.
Terri calls up Howard Bamboo and asks him to pick her up more boxes of decongestant because she wants the kids to be healthy. He asks her how many and she tells him 36 which makes him understandably nervous. Ken then walks in and wants to talk to her about the Will and Emma situation. He is also nervous about it and Terri admits that she only took this job to keep an eye on them and she wants out because she hates working five days a week. Ken suggests they start dating to cancel the other two out. Terri asks if they're still having sex, ignoring the awful proposition. Ken admits that they haven't had sex because Emma hates being touched...by him. Terri tries to console him but then tells him to toughen up. She then tells him to propose to Emma.
Rachel is once again trying to rally the girls into action since the boys were so good and now she's nervous that they'll get the sectionals song and not the girls. They all wonder how the boys did it since they've never been good and then Kurt walks in and tells them that the right question to ask is what were they on? Kurt is annoyed that the boys didn't use any of his suggestions and turns on them, revealing that they all took something.
Finn is still hopped up on the D and is energetically walking down the hall when Rachel calls him out and calls him F-Rod. Finn complains that she doesn't know what kind of pressure he's under and she tells him that she is too but manages it with a rigorous diet and exercise routine. We get a montage of her morning routine. He tells her that the only reason she's so pissed is because the girls can't beat the boys and she knows it. This gives Rachel an idea.
The girls are all in Terri's office where she is giving them all a dose of the D, except Quinn who gets folic acid instead. Rachel questions if they should be doing this and Terri once again says that it's over the counter so it's safe. That's...not how that works. Terri says they can trust her because she's a nurse. The girls all down the pills.
Will asks what's up with Ken and Terri proudly says that she put him on a new vitamin regimen. Will asks if that's safe since she's not actually a qualified nurse and she gets mad at him for criticizing her work. Emma comes in and this makes Terri start to get extra flirty with Will to make her jealous. The effect is that Will gets super upset and tells Terri that her working at the school is bad for their marriage since there is no separation and now they have nothing to talk about. Will then gets up to go to the bathroom and when Terri wants to go with him he tells her that he loves her but needs his space.
Terri then pushes Ken to ask Emma to marry him. So, he goes up to her in the lunchroom of their place of work and awkwardly asks Emma to marry him. He gives her a very earnest speech and then shows her a ring which he informs her is cubic zirconia since he knows she was very affected by Black Diamond.
The girls then perform a mash-up of Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves and Halo by Beyonce. Rachel gives a very hyper speech about why they picked their songs and it's honestly my favourite thing ever and honestly still relevant in today's shitty times.
Rachel: We have chosen a selection of songs that speaks of the nation as a whole during these troubling times filled with economic uncertainty and unbridled social woes, because if there's two things America needs right now, that is sunshine and optimism!
Also angels.
Isn't she adorable? I love this so much but I love their mash-up even more. Honestly, I think it's better than the boys, even though theirs was great, I like this one just a bit better because it is really fun and happy. Will is suitably impressed and Will says their celebrity judge has her work cut out for her and surprisingly none of the students are as upset as I was to learn that their celebrity was Emma. This still bothers me but whatever.
Will asks Emma to walk with him and Emma congratulates him on motivating the kids with some good clean motivation but Will wants to ask her if it's true if Ken asked her to marry him. Emma confirms the rumour and Will asks her what she'll do but she doesn't know. She asks him if he knows if she has any other options and Will asks if that's a reason to marry someone, dodging the obvious subtext question Emma asked. Terri sees this and is unimpressed.
Terri confronts Emma about the situation and Emma puts her desk between them out of nervousness. Terri then belittles Emma and tells her she has no shot, rather than take it, Emma shoots back that Will is a good man and deserves a lot better than Terri. She's not insanely wrong I suppose, but I wouldn't say Will is honest. Terri reaffirms that Will is her husband and that it's easy for her to be nice to Will for an hour a day. She then calls her out for being so nice and innocent as to go after a married man with a pregnant wife which suitably schools Emma into silence. Terri then tells Emma to marry the mole, basically and if you get that reference, you're as old and/or dorky as me.
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| Any other Don Bluth fans out there? (gif from Thumbalina) |
Emma confronts Ken about what the marriage would mean and honestly, her demands are pretty fucking mean. She wants to keep her last name (fine), continue living apart, and not spend time together after school. So, why the fuck would she want to marry him if he repulses her so much? Just cut him loose! There are other men that won't revolt you who would like to date you...then again her track record attracting good looking men is not great...
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| Socially awkward, slightly overweight, sweaty guys seem to flock to her like flys to honey (gif from Paul Blart: Mall Cop) |
Finn calls Rachel out for cheating and calls her A-Rach. She defends herself by saying that she was just evening out the playing field and Finn asks her if she really believes that. She doesn't and she feels terrible and Finn agrees because he doesn't even remember performing. They both agree to tell Will and withdraw from the competition so that no one wins. Rachel apologizes for calling Finn names the other day and says she's realized that she gets too caught up in the competition. She wants to stop competing for herself and start competing alongside the rest of the glee club.
Will and Terri are in Figgins office and Will is upset that she drugged his kids. She continues with the over the counter defense but it's not working this time. Figgins informs her that Howard Bamboo got arrested because of the large quantities of decongestants he was buying. I'm not sure why Figgins would care about or know Howard Bamboo but I guess in this universe, everyone knows everyone. Terri says she was just trying to help Will and he shoots back that she shouldn't because every time he finds a way to light a fire in his life, she finds a way to make it burn the forest down. He's super pissed. Figgins finally gets some sense and asks her to resign as their school nurse. Figgins then says that he also questions Will's judgment and that he fostered too competitive an atmosphere for the students which pushed them to seek out the drugs in the first place. A bit unfair but whatever, Figgins. He assigns him a co-chair for glee club.
The kids apologize to Will for getting him in trouble and he informs them that it's not as simple as moving on from this situation. He's been assigned a co-chair and it's none other than Sue Sylvester. No one looks happy about this.
Emma confronts Will after this to throw more salt in his wounds and inform him that she accepted Ken's proposal. I think she's still hoping that he'll profess his love for her and save her from her intentional bad choice but Will instead, swallows his sadness and congratulates her. They go their separate ways but exchange a longing look back at each other.
Rachel junks the decongestant and starts her morning routine the right way again but instead of her goal being to win a tony, it is now much simpler: Sectionals. Because now she's focusing on her team instead of only her own goals. The end.
Ah, this was such a nice change of pace. This episode still holds up really well and is still enjoyable funny without being too overtly uncomfortable and gross. Is it bad that an adult was essentially drugging kids? Yes but this is a situation that I can forgive an over-exaggerated dark comedy for. I can't really forgive a show for teens trying to play off an adult predator as a joke because honestly, that trope is way too uncomfortably common in teen shows. Still, this episode is great and it gives us 2 of the best performances in Glee, also holy cow, there were only 2 songs performed in this entire episode. Remember when this show actually had a storyline and only used songs sometimes in relation to the plot? This will likely never happen again but my recapping will be a lot easier in the later seasons, I'll basically just be listing all the songs performed with a few wacky scenes in between.
Next up will be Throwdown which is another episode I remember for being really funny.
Oh man, I'm remembering how good the mash-ups on Glee were. Probably the show's greatest thing were the mash-ups. And Burt.
ReplyDeleteHard agree.
Deletealso MARRY THE MOLE AS SUNG BY THE ONE AND ONLY CAROL CHANNING
ReplyDeleteValidation! I remember Thumbalina fondly even if it's not one of his best. I love that they kind of ADRd an ending for the mother since they basically forgot about her with all the fairy prince stuff. Marry the Mole always stuck with me, also the bizarre sexy frog. Never realized the mouse was voice by Carol Channing though. Cool!
DeleteCarol Channing is EVERYWHERE. I also have a fond remembrance for Thumbelina even though I know it's not great, because also JODI BENSON hush I'm fine
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