Original air date: September 30, 2009
This episode will always have a special place in my heart because of the guest star, the always fabulous Kristin Chenoweth. I admittedly have no background in musical theatre, I barely go to shows so I had never heard of her until I watched a little show called Pushing Daisies and I fell in love with her instantly. I remember others hating her character on Glee but she will always be Olive Snook to me and so I love her, I love her voice, she is amazing and I can't wait to get into this episode.
The Glee club is practicing their signature song with Quinn as the female lead instead of Rachel. Quinn has to leave because she's got morning sickness and Finn covers for her saying she ate something bad. This leads to people immediately trash talking her voice and saying they need Rachel back (which like, yeah but harsh. Quinn's voice isn't that bad maybe a little thin but it's salvageable.) Will tells them that they need to stop whining about Rachel because she's gone forever and that's final. Then he dismisses them.
Finn is worried about all the dancing around Quinn is doing because it might be bad for the baby. I get that he's supposed to be dumb but Will might have done well to tell him that her light walking movements to Don't Stop Believing will not harm the baby at all. Then again, this is a man who totally believes that touching his wife's belly will hurt her baby and thus has not touched his wife for weeks so he tells Finn that he'll give some of Quinn's verses to Tina. Real pair of intellectuals here.
Will does get thinking on one thing though and it's that Terri has not had any morning sickness where as Quinn is upchucking every 15 minutes. If that is true, Quinn should be hospitalized because severe morning sickness can kill a person. Geez, I feel like I'm giving this show sex ed in every episode. What gives? Anyway, Terri is thrilled because apparently lots of morning sickness means your baby isn't a "mongoloid."
I get that Terri is supposed to be awful but have you noticed that shows that have characters say offensive things while hiding behind an awful character, never actually have any other characters challenge or reprimand them for saying the offensive thing? Instead, there's just a silent pause, maybe a brief confused look from other characters and then they move on with nothing said. It kind of feels like the writers want to make that offensive joke but know that it won't fly and so they make up characters like Sue and Terri to say the offensive thing for them and they don't have to put thought into how to make better jokes, or is that just me?
Where was I? Oh yeah, the baby thing. Terri lies her face off and says she's sick all the time and tells him to ask her coworkers about it. You know, everyone's experiences are different but morning sickness for me was just that. I'd puke up everything I ate for breakfast and then go about my day like nothing was wrong. Sorry for the TMI, it's just weird that the writers seem to think women are always sick all the time when pregnant. It's a feeling that comes and goes and varies by person but I digress. Will is distracted by the waiter who he recognizes from teaching in high school. The waiter offers up a lot more information than I would in that instance telling Will that he was at McKinley five years ago but goes to Carmel, the rival school now. Will asks how it's possible and he tells him that they fail him on purpose so he can keep being in Vocal Adrenaline and like, that's pretty sad on everyone's part. Not even going to touch that one. However, this gives Will a dumb idea.
Meanwhile, Emma is talking to Finn because Will told her about the pregnancy. However, she isn't supposed to say this so she just says she took a special interest in him and tells him about sports scholarships and winning Glee competitions which look good on college applications. Finn perks up that he could get scholarships to be able to afford school and asks if they have a shot at winning nationals without Rachel. Emma lies through her teeth and says they do, despite telling Will that their chances are about as good as the Jamaican bobsledding team had on winning the Olympics. Of course, Emma does suggest talking to Rachel and trying to convince her to come back, since I think she's pretty aware that Rachel has a crush on Finn and that's kind of a manipulative suggestion. I remember this subplot and I hate it.
We then cut to something I hate even more. When this episode first aired, I didn't think much of it. I laughed along with the jokes of haha, this guy is so creepy, what a loser. However, I grew to loathe this joke as they flogged it to death and took it to such extremes that even if you didn't have a problem at all with the character here, there was no ignoring how awful and horrifying he became and was subsequently never seen again. But we'll get to that in due time. Jacob Ben Israel is played as a joke but what he does to Rachel in this scene is gross. He threatens to tarnish her reputation unless she shows him her bra and/or breasts and while it seemed off-colour but harmless to younger me on first watch, is really hard to rewatch now. It's especially gross in light of #MeToo.
Jacob even reiterates the threat in front of their teacher, Sandy Ryerson (who admittedly is also an awful person) and he doesn't bat an eye just excitedly states that he has no problem with nudity and they both leave Rachel alone to consider whether she'll show off her breasts for stardom because "all the great actresses take their clothes off" which is levels of gross that I do not remember experiencing in my first watch. I don't like this, it's played for laughs but in a time where this has been found to be the case and that people in power have abused their positions in order to make aspiring actors/singers think this way I just can't laugh at it anymore, even in the context of "lol, this character is such a creeper." I can't and won't anymore. Go away Jacob.
Finn enters and Rachel tells him how happy she is to be a star and getting the star treatment which is the saddest thing because of what just happened to her. This show is really dark, apparently. I mean, I always said it was a dark comedy in the beginning but wow. Anyway, Finn plays it cool, encouraging her star power and offers to run lines with her. Then he gets suggestive and flirty with her about going some place private where they can work and I hate it. He knows Rachel likes him and he also knows he's having a baby with Quinn and is using Rachel's feeling for him to get what he wants, not caring if she or Quinn gets hurt in the process. Do not like.
Will has researched his idea and finds an old classmate of his who he was in Glee Club with did not graduate either. So, if he can convince her to finish high school, she will become a student and can thus join Glee Club and help them win nationals. I don't know how this works in the States but in Canada, if older people want to finish their high school education, they don't get to go to a high school, they get a GED. Letting an adult attend a school with a bunch of underage children would be a huge liability for exactly the reasons that happen later in this very episode. However, I'm going to get to hear Kristin Chenoweth perform.
Emma is jealous because April is very pretty and Will gushes about how gorgeous she is and that she was his first crush. This news interests Emma because she assumed Will has never ever looked at or been attracted to anyone other than his wife. Oh, honey. Emma's only problem with this plan is that opening up the past can be dangerous. She recounts a nonsensical story about hooking up with an old friend online but she had to break it off because it got weird and then Versace died. Will barrels past her nonsense and finds April's...MySpace page. What is the deal with this show and MySpace? Even back then I had assumed that site was long dead. Emma is upset as Will emails April.
April responds immediately and gives him an address to come to. She also says to bring chicken wings because as we'll quickly find out, April is a gigantic drunken mess. She doesn't remember him at all and asks if she slept with him and Will is probably thinking "why the hell did I not make a move back then." Anyway, it's quickly uncovered that April does not live in the fancy mansion that Will met her in and that her life is not as grand and magnificent as Will imagined it was. They are kicked out of the house.
Will asked her what happened and she recounts that she hitched her wagon to the wrong star. An interesting tidbit that I never picked up on before is that April says she had a set of "mixed race twins" who are never seen on this show and I wonder...what the hell happened to her kids? I'm going to guess she gave them up for adoption. Will offers to get her back on her feet and says it's not too late for her to finish high school and join the Glee Club. This should go horribly.
Next day, Will introduces her to the rest of the Glee kids and they are rightfully confused. Artie also rightfully points out that this is a bad idea. They all lament the loss of Rachel and affronted that they think she can't hold a candle to a girl she's never met before, graces everyone with her rendition of Maybe This Time. (This is the first song of the episode and we are 10 minutes in, my god do I miss this show's restraint) This is made even better by intercutting with Rachel practicing for her musical thus making this a duet.
This is already a long recap but I just want to take a moment to gush over how freaking talented Cheno is, like my god, singing is effortless to her. I love it, I love everything about this performance. The Glee kids are suitably impressed also and I guess she is permitted to join their club to be the new Rachel.
Now she's in Spanish class and is not getting it. She's also making jokes about drinking in front of minors, so like yeah bad idea meter goes up another notch. He calls her aside and talks to her about how the Glee kids are still nervous about having her around. Instead of realizing that this is a bad idea, he suggests that she try to win them over.
Cut to a montage of her doing just that, starting with getting Kurt drunk and giving him vintage muscle magazines (because gay). He says she can stay and he worships her, which fair she's amazing. Next she teaches Tina and Mercedes to shoplift. They also say she can stay. Now, if you're like me, this is already setting off the bad idea meter but you can still laugh at this stuff. She effectively shatters the bad idea meter and spits all over it while challenging the viewer to call the cops when it's implied she has a threesome with Matt and Puck to convince them.
If you've read my Dawson's Creek recaps from season 1 and early 2, you will know exactly how much I hate this and yes, even though it's Cheno and I love her, I hate this small 5 second scene and what it implies with a burning passion. I'm sorry, but an adult engaging in sexual acts with minors in any capacity with any mix of genders is fucking disgusting and I hate that media is constantly normalizing it and packaging it up for kids to watch. Kids, adults absolutely know how old you are and they absolutely know what they're doing. Even if you think you want it, it's gross and manipulative and it is always the adults responsibility to be the adult and not pursue you. /End rant.
After that unsettling scene, Will is pleased that everyone wants her to stay and that she's chumming around with Puck, Matt and now Mike (so did Mike join in too? Urgh).
Rachel is practicing for Cabaret again amidst verbal abuse from Sandy, who I mentioned before is awful. He berates her and says that he thought she was mature and man...I don't remember this episode being so unpleasant before. I guess I really let Cheno dazzle me out of thinking about what I was watching, but in my defence, the entire Maybe This Time sequence. Rachel says that Sandy is trying to get her to quit so that he can be the star and I've never understood this. His agreement with Sue was to keep Rachel out of Glee Club, if he pushes her to quit, she'd go back and he fails so then wouldn't Sue rescind her end of the bargain? Sandy is not the brightest person though.
Cut to Rachel and Finn running lines and she suggests that he join the musical. Finn says that he couldn't just walk away from Glee Club like that and lays on the guilt trip. He then says that he could justify doing both if she came back to Glee. Then proposes going bowling because she needs to relax and distress or something. I'm getting uncomfortable, this was supposed to be silly and funny but I don't like this.
Will and April come in and ask to use to room to practice her part in Don't Stop Believing. Finn is shocked that she's taking the lead part and Rachel is shocked that April is even in Glee to begin with as she's "ancient." I agree with you, Rachel but you watch your tongue when speaking to Cheno!
Finn doesn't give a crap about Quinn but is indignant because that's the part he's manipulating Rachel to take back and without it, his plan is foiled. Rachel says it's fine and Will tells Rachel that they're all excited to see her play which is actually kind of nice. Rachel leaves as they start practicing and hilariously when April starts doing the "mi mi mi mi" musical run, Finn does his with "you you you you" and I can't tell whether he's smart enough to gauge that April is self involved or whether he's too stupid to realize she isn't saying "me" Given what we know of Finn, I'm thinking the latter.
Emma spots Kurt going down the hall completely drunk and stops him, resulting in one of his funniest lines in response to her concern. "Oh Bambi. I cried so hard when they shot your mother." He then promptly vomits all over her shoes which is traumatizing to Emma because she has major issues with germs and unclean things. She apparently got four decontamination showers in the hospital after this incident which while I'm not overly concerned with germs, I will agree is the appropriate response to having someone throw up on you. I do not do well with vomit, not from me and especially not from someone else.
Problem the first is rearing it's ugly head and Emma tells Will about the incident and implies that April is to blame. Instead of realizing how bad this situation is, Will said he will talk to April. Emma is concerned about Glee and Will is too but because he's worried about losing regionals. Emma sits down and schools Will about the fact that he is robbing a kid of having a cool experience in Glee and giving it to someone who already had the experience and doesn't really need it. Will is still convinced that April is super talented (she is) and that she isn't finished yet. Uh, Will, this may be true but she can get chances in the real world and not take a chance away from a high schooler. Just a thought.
Cut to Sandy verbally abusing Rachel again, causing her to fucking break down sobbing in the bathroom. April enters and is sympathetic to her. Rachel tries to justify her abuse by saying that stardom is hard and she's chosen a hard path and I'm sad again. What the fuck is this episode? April begins talking about boys she thinks are cute and says she has eyes on Finn. Rachel is pissed because he's taken (and also she likes him) but oddly not unsettled at the predatory aspects of this character and that she should probably inform the cops about it? Seriously, kids. If an adult in your life is talking about how much they want to bang you or one of your underage friends, call the authorities immediately, tell someone, anyone, just get away from them. This is not cool.
What makes Rachel's anger at April for wanting Finn to cheat (not that she's a creepy pedo) is that we immediately cut to Rachel and Finn on a pseudo date where she clearly wants him to be with her, regardless of the fact that he's still with Quinn.
Will is with April and they are also bowling. He's happy she's doing so well sober and she readily admits that she's so drunk she can't feel her lips. Will still doesn't see the gigantic red flags of the situation and just tells her that he can't have her around his club if she's going to encourage them to make bad choices. Oh Will, sweet innocent Will. April says he's right and immediately promises to stop drinking this instant. That's wonderful, you're still a statutory rapist though so....
Will then tells her that he regrets not getting to sing with her and she is flattered. She then goes to the karaoke machine and offers to sing. Damn it, I can't help it, I'm excited that I get to hear Cheno sing again. Oh my god, so pretty. She's singing Alone and it's so pretty. It's really not fair how good she is. April is terrible but I love hearing Cheno, always. Just, watch this, it's wonderful:
At their fake date, Rachel and Finn bond over bowling and she ends up finally getting a strike. Rachel being excited is adorable but she gets over ambitious and kisses Finn, who looks uncomfortable and you think he might be feeling bad for manipulating Rachel but nope. He immediately asks her to come back to Glee. Rachel brings up Quinn and Finn makes up some BS about not knowing what's going to happen in the future and that he just wants to spend more time with her. I am already seeing red but when Rachel says that she has to quit the play to rejoin Glee and then immediately is like "I'll do it" there are flames, dear readers. Flames.
Finn looks regretful but it's not like he's going to say anything to her about using and manipulating her for his own gain as long as he gets what he wants so fuck him. Seriously, he's an asshole, I don't care how bad he feels about what he's doing, he's still doing it and it's heartbreaking how happy Rachel is when you know he's just being a lying dick.
The Glee Club are speculating about Quinn's sickness which sets Puck off and he blabs about her having a bun in the oven but when people ask who the baby daddy is, he passes that on to Finn because he's also a dick who doesn't want any heat on him. Rachel walks in all happy and says she's returned to Glee Club but no one cares because they all just got way bigger news about Quinn. This is how quickly she's found out that Finn was lying.
The very next scene is Finn handing his application for scholarships to Emma and boasting about how he got Rachel to rejoin Glee and so anyone who felt even the slightest bit of sympathy for him should just stop because he's also awful. Rachel wipes the smile from his face when she confronts him about the fact that he's a lying liar who lies. He still tries to claim he has feelings for her even though he (as far as he knows) knocked Quinn up. He fesses up to using her to get scholarships to schools so he can take care of his baby. He then has the balls to say that she should take it as a compliment that he used her for his own gains because of her talent and excuse the ever loving fuck out of yourself, Finn. Rachel says he should have been honest. He still tries to toy with her feelings by claiming their kiss meant something, even though he didn't look that into it when it happened and Rachel tells him off saying that he's welcome to languish in the situation he created because her "dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than (him)" BURN!
Rachel then goes up to Sue to get her spot back in the musical while demanding changes. Sue agrees because Sandy is the worst and her goal is to destroy Glee Club so obviously she wants Rachel to leave it for the musical. Sue gives Rachel full artistic control but Rachel still looks sad.
At the Glee Club's performance, April shows up late and drunk breaking her promise to Will to be sober. If that still wasn't a big enough red flag, she goes up to Puck and starts making out with him. He looks uncomfortable and grossed out and Will doesn't immediately think he should call the cops, he just looks mildly disappointed that April is drunk but indifferent to the fact that she's literally assaulting his underage student in front of him. Ok, Will.
Emma is also concerned about the drunk part but despite all the red flags literally in flames around him, he still thinks she should go on because he thinks it's the only way they can win. Emma is very rightfully disgusted.
They perform with April who sings a song about being so drunk, she fucked a guy without even knowing his last name, very on the nose. I'm going to ignore the problems and just enjoy this performance because Cheno. No one in the crowd of presumably parents is concerned that there is a grown woman singing with the kids but this is Glee so just go with it.
Rachel is at the show looking troubled and Will, despite the fact that April performed well has finally decided to take note of the wreckage around him and tells her she can't perform with them anymore. She agrees and says she felt bad for stealing the kids' sunshine but is inspired by being able to perform again. They bid goodbye to each other and we hope that April is headed off to better things but really she should be headed off to jail.
The kids ask where April is and Will tells them that he kicked her out because he wanted them to perform on their own. Screwing up their performances. Rachel steps in and offers to perform in April's spot if they'd let her. She quit the play for them and wants to help them out. Will tells her to costume up and they perform Somebody to Love by Queen. Emma is happy that Rachel is back and April is out but let's be real here, she's more relieved that she's rid of the competition for Will's attention. Rachel performs with them fine despite not knowing any of the choreography or practicing harmony with everyone but again, this is Glee bitch. Deal with it. Thus endeth the episode.
Guys, I was so excited for this episode. So excited. What happened? I love Cheno, this was one of my favourites when I first watched it but now, all I can see are the gross bits. I really don't like them playing April assaulting students for laughs instead of a serious danger and no one in the show addressing it as such. Maybe I'm too sensitive to this but honestly, being in the age range that the character of April is supposed to be right now (30 range) and thinking about doing this to a 16-year-old, repulses me. I think I'll stick to watching her performances out of context from now on because yergh this was not cool. Also, screw Jacob Ben Israel because that "joke" wasn't funny either and that attitude in Hollywood and elsewhere needs to die. Let's hope that the next episode is fun again and from what I remember Vitamin D is a lot of fun and gives us some great performances.
Here's a nice chaser, because Cheno is absolutely amazing.
This episode will always have a special place in my heart because of the guest star, the always fabulous Kristin Chenoweth. I admittedly have no background in musical theatre, I barely go to shows so I had never heard of her until I watched a little show called Pushing Daisies and I fell in love with her instantly. I remember others hating her character on Glee but she will always be Olive Snook to me and so I love her, I love her voice, she is amazing and I can't wait to get into this episode.
The Glee club is practicing their signature song with Quinn as the female lead instead of Rachel. Quinn has to leave because she's got morning sickness and Finn covers for her saying she ate something bad. This leads to people immediately trash talking her voice and saying they need Rachel back (which like, yeah but harsh. Quinn's voice isn't that bad maybe a little thin but it's salvageable.) Will tells them that they need to stop whining about Rachel because she's gone forever and that's final. Then he dismisses them.
Finn is worried about all the dancing around Quinn is doing because it might be bad for the baby. I get that he's supposed to be dumb but Will might have done well to tell him that her light walking movements to Don't Stop Believing will not harm the baby at all. Then again, this is a man who totally believes that touching his wife's belly will hurt her baby and thus has not touched his wife for weeks so he tells Finn that he'll give some of Quinn's verses to Tina. Real pair of intellectuals here.
Will does get thinking on one thing though and it's that Terri has not had any morning sickness where as Quinn is upchucking every 15 minutes. If that is true, Quinn should be hospitalized because severe morning sickness can kill a person. Geez, I feel like I'm giving this show sex ed in every episode. What gives? Anyway, Terri is thrilled because apparently lots of morning sickness means your baby isn't a "mongoloid."
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| It's a definite yikes from me (This gif taken from Philosophy Tube's Steve Bannon video) |
Where was I? Oh yeah, the baby thing. Terri lies her face off and says she's sick all the time and tells him to ask her coworkers about it. You know, everyone's experiences are different but morning sickness for me was just that. I'd puke up everything I ate for breakfast and then go about my day like nothing was wrong. Sorry for the TMI, it's just weird that the writers seem to think women are always sick all the time when pregnant. It's a feeling that comes and goes and varies by person but I digress. Will is distracted by the waiter who he recognizes from teaching in high school. The waiter offers up a lot more information than I would in that instance telling Will that he was at McKinley five years ago but goes to Carmel, the rival school now. Will asks how it's possible and he tells him that they fail him on purpose so he can keep being in Vocal Adrenaline and like, that's pretty sad on everyone's part. Not even going to touch that one. However, this gives Will a dumb idea.
Meanwhile, Emma is talking to Finn because Will told her about the pregnancy. However, she isn't supposed to say this so she just says she took a special interest in him and tells him about sports scholarships and winning Glee competitions which look good on college applications. Finn perks up that he could get scholarships to be able to afford school and asks if they have a shot at winning nationals without Rachel. Emma lies through her teeth and says they do, despite telling Will that their chances are about as good as the Jamaican bobsledding team had on winning the Olympics. Of course, Emma does suggest talking to Rachel and trying to convince her to come back, since I think she's pretty aware that Rachel has a crush on Finn and that's kind of a manipulative suggestion. I remember this subplot and I hate it.
We then cut to something I hate even more. When this episode first aired, I didn't think much of it. I laughed along with the jokes of haha, this guy is so creepy, what a loser. However, I grew to loathe this joke as they flogged it to death and took it to such extremes that even if you didn't have a problem at all with the character here, there was no ignoring how awful and horrifying he became and was subsequently never seen again. But we'll get to that in due time. Jacob Ben Israel is played as a joke but what he does to Rachel in this scene is gross. He threatens to tarnish her reputation unless she shows him her bra and/or breasts and while it seemed off-colour but harmless to younger me on first watch, is really hard to rewatch now. It's especially gross in light of #MeToo.
Jacob even reiterates the threat in front of their teacher, Sandy Ryerson (who admittedly is also an awful person) and he doesn't bat an eye just excitedly states that he has no problem with nudity and they both leave Rachel alone to consider whether she'll show off her breasts for stardom because "all the great actresses take their clothes off" which is levels of gross that I do not remember experiencing in my first watch. I don't like this, it's played for laughs but in a time where this has been found to be the case and that people in power have abused their positions in order to make aspiring actors/singers think this way I just can't laugh at it anymore, even in the context of "lol, this character is such a creeper." I can't and won't anymore. Go away Jacob.
Finn enters and Rachel tells him how happy she is to be a star and getting the star treatment which is the saddest thing because of what just happened to her. This show is really dark, apparently. I mean, I always said it was a dark comedy in the beginning but wow. Anyway, Finn plays it cool, encouraging her star power and offers to run lines with her. Then he gets suggestive and flirty with her about going some place private where they can work and I hate it. He knows Rachel likes him and he also knows he's having a baby with Quinn and is using Rachel's feeling for him to get what he wants, not caring if she or Quinn gets hurt in the process. Do not like.
Will has researched his idea and finds an old classmate of his who he was in Glee Club with did not graduate either. So, if he can convince her to finish high school, she will become a student and can thus join Glee Club and help them win nationals. I don't know how this works in the States but in Canada, if older people want to finish their high school education, they don't get to go to a high school, they get a GED. Letting an adult attend a school with a bunch of underage children would be a huge liability for exactly the reasons that happen later in this very episode. However, I'm going to get to hear Kristin Chenoweth perform.
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| I'll allow it (Senor Chang from Community) |
Emma is jealous because April is very pretty and Will gushes about how gorgeous she is and that she was his first crush. This news interests Emma because she assumed Will has never ever looked at or been attracted to anyone other than his wife. Oh, honey. Emma's only problem with this plan is that opening up the past can be dangerous. She recounts a nonsensical story about hooking up with an old friend online but she had to break it off because it got weird and then Versace died. Will barrels past her nonsense and finds April's...MySpace page. What is the deal with this show and MySpace? Even back then I had assumed that site was long dead. Emma is upset as Will emails April.
April responds immediately and gives him an address to come to. She also says to bring chicken wings because as we'll quickly find out, April is a gigantic drunken mess. She doesn't remember him at all and asks if she slept with him and Will is probably thinking "why the hell did I not make a move back then." Anyway, it's quickly uncovered that April does not live in the fancy mansion that Will met her in and that her life is not as grand and magnificent as Will imagined it was. They are kicked out of the house.
Will asked her what happened and she recounts that she hitched her wagon to the wrong star. An interesting tidbit that I never picked up on before is that April says she had a set of "mixed race twins" who are never seen on this show and I wonder...what the hell happened to her kids? I'm going to guess she gave them up for adoption. Will offers to get her back on her feet and says it's not too late for her to finish high school and join the Glee Club. This should go horribly.
Next day, Will introduces her to the rest of the Glee kids and they are rightfully confused. Artie also rightfully points out that this is a bad idea. They all lament the loss of Rachel and affronted that they think she can't hold a candle to a girl she's never met before, graces everyone with her rendition of Maybe This Time. (This is the first song of the episode and we are 10 minutes in, my god do I miss this show's restraint) This is made even better by intercutting with Rachel practicing for her musical thus making this a duet.
This is already a long recap but I just want to take a moment to gush over how freaking talented Cheno is, like my god, singing is effortless to her. I love it, I love everything about this performance. The Glee kids are suitably impressed also and I guess she is permitted to join their club to be the new Rachel.
Now she's in Spanish class and is not getting it. She's also making jokes about drinking in front of minors, so like yeah bad idea meter goes up another notch. He calls her aside and talks to her about how the Glee kids are still nervous about having her around. Instead of realizing that this is a bad idea, he suggests that she try to win them over.
Cut to a montage of her doing just that, starting with getting Kurt drunk and giving him vintage muscle magazines (because gay). He says she can stay and he worships her, which fair she's amazing. Next she teaches Tina and Mercedes to shoplift. They also say she can stay. Now, if you're like me, this is already setting off the bad idea meter but you can still laugh at this stuff. She effectively shatters the bad idea meter and spits all over it while challenging the viewer to call the cops when it's implied she has a threesome with Matt and Puck to convince them.
If you've read my Dawson's Creek recaps from season 1 and early 2, you will know exactly how much I hate this and yes, even though it's Cheno and I love her, I hate this small 5 second scene and what it implies with a burning passion. I'm sorry, but an adult engaging in sexual acts with minors in any capacity with any mix of genders is fucking disgusting and I hate that media is constantly normalizing it and packaging it up for kids to watch. Kids, adults absolutely know how old you are and they absolutely know what they're doing. Even if you think you want it, it's gross and manipulative and it is always the adults responsibility to be the adult and not pursue you. /End rant.
After that unsettling scene, Will is pleased that everyone wants her to stay and that she's chumming around with Puck, Matt and now Mike (so did Mike join in too? Urgh).
Rachel is practicing for Cabaret again amidst verbal abuse from Sandy, who I mentioned before is awful. He berates her and says that he thought she was mature and man...I don't remember this episode being so unpleasant before. I guess I really let Cheno dazzle me out of thinking about what I was watching, but in my defence, the entire Maybe This Time sequence. Rachel says that Sandy is trying to get her to quit so that he can be the star and I've never understood this. His agreement with Sue was to keep Rachel out of Glee Club, if he pushes her to quit, she'd go back and he fails so then wouldn't Sue rescind her end of the bargain? Sandy is not the brightest person though.
Cut to Rachel and Finn running lines and she suggests that he join the musical. Finn says that he couldn't just walk away from Glee Club like that and lays on the guilt trip. He then says that he could justify doing both if she came back to Glee. Then proposes going bowling because she needs to relax and distress or something. I'm getting uncomfortable, this was supposed to be silly and funny but I don't like this.
Will and April come in and ask to use to room to practice her part in Don't Stop Believing. Finn is shocked that she's taking the lead part and Rachel is shocked that April is even in Glee to begin with as she's "ancient." I agree with you, Rachel but you watch your tongue when speaking to Cheno!
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| Damn straight it doesn't |
Finn doesn't give a crap about Quinn but is indignant because that's the part he's manipulating Rachel to take back and without it, his plan is foiled. Rachel says it's fine and Will tells Rachel that they're all excited to see her play which is actually kind of nice. Rachel leaves as they start practicing and hilariously when April starts doing the "mi mi mi mi" musical run, Finn does his with "you you you you" and I can't tell whether he's smart enough to gauge that April is self involved or whether he's too stupid to realize she isn't saying "me" Given what we know of Finn, I'm thinking the latter.
Emma spots Kurt going down the hall completely drunk and stops him, resulting in one of his funniest lines in response to her concern. "Oh Bambi. I cried so hard when they shot your mother." He then promptly vomits all over her shoes which is traumatizing to Emma because she has major issues with germs and unclean things. She apparently got four decontamination showers in the hospital after this incident which while I'm not overly concerned with germs, I will agree is the appropriate response to having someone throw up on you. I do not do well with vomit, not from me and especially not from someone else.
Problem the first is rearing it's ugly head and Emma tells Will about the incident and implies that April is to blame. Instead of realizing how bad this situation is, Will said he will talk to April. Emma is concerned about Glee and Will is too but because he's worried about losing regionals. Emma sits down and schools Will about the fact that he is robbing a kid of having a cool experience in Glee and giving it to someone who already had the experience and doesn't really need it. Will is still convinced that April is super talented (she is) and that she isn't finished yet. Uh, Will, this may be true but she can get chances in the real world and not take a chance away from a high schooler. Just a thought.
Cut to Sandy verbally abusing Rachel again, causing her to fucking break down sobbing in the bathroom. April enters and is sympathetic to her. Rachel tries to justify her abuse by saying that stardom is hard and she's chosen a hard path and I'm sad again. What the fuck is this episode? April begins talking about boys she thinks are cute and says she has eyes on Finn. Rachel is pissed because he's taken (and also she likes him) but oddly not unsettled at the predatory aspects of this character and that she should probably inform the cops about it? Seriously, kids. If an adult in your life is talking about how much they want to bang you or one of your underage friends, call the authorities immediately, tell someone, anyone, just get away from them. This is not cool.
What makes Rachel's anger at April for wanting Finn to cheat (not that she's a creepy pedo) is that we immediately cut to Rachel and Finn on a pseudo date where she clearly wants him to be with her, regardless of the fact that he's still with Quinn.
Will is with April and they are also bowling. He's happy she's doing so well sober and she readily admits that she's so drunk she can't feel her lips. Will still doesn't see the gigantic red flags of the situation and just tells her that he can't have her around his club if she's going to encourage them to make bad choices. Oh Will, sweet innocent Will. April says he's right and immediately promises to stop drinking this instant. That's wonderful, you're still a statutory rapist though so....
Will then tells her that he regrets not getting to sing with her and she is flattered. She then goes to the karaoke machine and offers to sing. Damn it, I can't help it, I'm excited that I get to hear Cheno sing again. Oh my god, so pretty. She's singing Alone and it's so pretty. It's really not fair how good she is. April is terrible but I love hearing Cheno, always. Just, watch this, it's wonderful:
At their fake date, Rachel and Finn bond over bowling and she ends up finally getting a strike. Rachel being excited is adorable but she gets over ambitious and kisses Finn, who looks uncomfortable and you think he might be feeling bad for manipulating Rachel but nope. He immediately asks her to come back to Glee. Rachel brings up Quinn and Finn makes up some BS about not knowing what's going to happen in the future and that he just wants to spend more time with her. I am already seeing red but when Rachel says that she has to quit the play to rejoin Glee and then immediately is like "I'll do it" there are flames, dear readers. Flames.
 |
| On the side of my face and everywhere else. I might have burned my house down to the ground. You don't know. |
The Glee Club are speculating about Quinn's sickness which sets Puck off and he blabs about her having a bun in the oven but when people ask who the baby daddy is, he passes that on to Finn because he's also a dick who doesn't want any heat on him. Rachel walks in all happy and says she's returned to Glee Club but no one cares because they all just got way bigger news about Quinn. This is how quickly she's found out that Finn was lying.
The very next scene is Finn handing his application for scholarships to Emma and boasting about how he got Rachel to rejoin Glee and so anyone who felt even the slightest bit of sympathy for him should just stop because he's also awful. Rachel wipes the smile from his face when she confronts him about the fact that he's a lying liar who lies. He still tries to claim he has feelings for her even though he (as far as he knows) knocked Quinn up. He fesses up to using her to get scholarships to schools so he can take care of his baby. He then has the balls to say that she should take it as a compliment that he used her for his own gains because of her talent and excuse the ever loving fuck out of yourself, Finn. Rachel says he should have been honest. He still tries to toy with her feelings by claiming their kiss meant something, even though he didn't look that into it when it happened and Rachel tells him off saying that he's welcome to languish in the situation he created because her "dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than (him)" BURN!
Rachel then goes up to Sue to get her spot back in the musical while demanding changes. Sue agrees because Sandy is the worst and her goal is to destroy Glee Club so obviously she wants Rachel to leave it for the musical. Sue gives Rachel full artistic control but Rachel still looks sad.
At the Glee Club's performance, April shows up late and drunk breaking her promise to Will to be sober. If that still wasn't a big enough red flag, she goes up to Puck and starts making out with him. He looks uncomfortable and grossed out and Will doesn't immediately think he should call the cops, he just looks mildly disappointed that April is drunk but indifferent to the fact that she's literally assaulting his underage student in front of him. Ok, Will.
Emma is also concerned about the drunk part but despite all the red flags literally in flames around him, he still thinks she should go on because he thinks it's the only way they can win. Emma is very rightfully disgusted.
They perform with April who sings a song about being so drunk, she fucked a guy without even knowing his last name, very on the nose. I'm going to ignore the problems and just enjoy this performance because Cheno. No one in the crowd of presumably parents is concerned that there is a grown woman singing with the kids but this is Glee so just go with it.
Rachel is at the show looking troubled and Will, despite the fact that April performed well has finally decided to take note of the wreckage around him and tells her she can't perform with them anymore. She agrees and says she felt bad for stealing the kids' sunshine but is inspired by being able to perform again. They bid goodbye to each other and we hope that April is headed off to better things but really she should be headed off to jail.
The kids ask where April is and Will tells them that he kicked her out because he wanted them to perform on their own. Screwing up their performances. Rachel steps in and offers to perform in April's spot if they'd let her. She quit the play for them and wants to help them out. Will tells her to costume up and they perform Somebody to Love by Queen. Emma is happy that Rachel is back and April is out but let's be real here, she's more relieved that she's rid of the competition for Will's attention. Rachel performs with them fine despite not knowing any of the choreography or practicing harmony with everyone but again, this is Glee bitch. Deal with it. Thus endeth the episode.
Guys, I was so excited for this episode. So excited. What happened? I love Cheno, this was one of my favourites when I first watched it but now, all I can see are the gross bits. I really don't like them playing April assaulting students for laughs instead of a serious danger and no one in the show addressing it as such. Maybe I'm too sensitive to this but honestly, being in the age range that the character of April is supposed to be right now (30 range) and thinking about doing this to a 16-year-old, repulses me. I think I'll stick to watching her performances out of context from now on because yergh this was not cool. Also, screw Jacob Ben Israel because that "joke" wasn't funny either and that attitude in Hollywood and elsewhere needs to die. Let's hope that the next episode is fun again and from what I remember Vitamin D is a lot of fun and gives us some great performances.
Here's a nice chaser, because Cheno is absolutely amazing.
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