Dawson's Creek - 216 - Be Careful What You Wish For

Original air date: March 3, 1999

When we last left off, we found out that Jack is gay and that Dawson is actually capable of being a good friend. In this episode, we actually do continue to address Jack's issues with his sexuality but Dawson manages to lose most of the brownie points he's earned in the past few episodes. But, fear not, there is a hilariously bad singing number in this episode to help you get over any Dawson anger you might have...or if you actually like Dawson I suppose there is an...adorable(?) singing scene. I don't know. Were there any fans out there of just the Dawson character?

So, we begin this episode with Dawson blustering around his room for some reason, I assume it's to look as dramatic as possible for when Pacey comes in. I'm guessing that Dawson told him there was some kind of emergency because it's, what I'm assuming is a school night, and he looked concerned as he walked into Dawson's room saying he got there as soon as he got Dawson's message. And it's almost midnight. Hello? Parents? Calling all parents of Capeside, do you still exist? I mean, I get it, the characters all look like young adults but they are still supposed to be 16 and despite what we all thought when we were 16, they are still kids and their parents should have some sort of clue as to where their kids are and would not be happy with their kids accepting guests at midnight on a school night. But, I digress.

Dawson explains his problem to Pacey which is actually a pretty accurate explanation of my problem with Dawson's character, hilariously enough:

Dawson: I'm about to be 16 in a matter of minutes and I'm still....me. The same whiny, adolescent, big-talking, small-doing loser that I was a year ago.

That is quite the problem, Dawson, but I'm not sure the writers know how to fix this, given what you're doing right now is pretty much the thing you're complaining about and will continue to be this entire episode. We're in for a treat, guys.

Hey, remember when Dawson was being pretty cool about Jack's being gay and I was complimenting him for it? Well:

Dawson: But there doesn't seem to be anything ahead of me. More of the same. I'm stagnant. No wonder Joey dumped me. I mean, the only thing I accomplished last year was realizing my feelings for her and I couldn't even hold on to her. She dumped me. For a gay guy. laughs Can we talk about this whole gay-man-straight-woman thing? There's got to be something going on there that we're not seeing. 

Pacey: You're right, Dawson. It's all part of the evil gay plan to keep the species from repopulating. 

Dawson: I would keep an eye on Andie if I were you.

Seriously?

 That's...that's not how gay works, Dawson. It's not hereditary, it's not a disease and goddamn, Pacey was being sarcastic because you were being a douche and you tell him to watch out for his girlfriend? Some friend you are but I guess you're hoping they break up, aren't you? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself on that last line there but bear with me, you'll understand once we get near the end of this recap.

So, anyway Dawson continues only focusing on his own wants, needs and feelings and proclaims that he is going to get Joey back since Jack is now gay. Because, after a girl has found out that the guy she's dating is actually gay and has her heart broken and feels like shit, that is the time to swoop in and ask her out, ammirite?

Nice Guy Syndrome is back...with a vengeance!

The next morning, we learn that parents do still exist in Capeside as Gail walks into the kitchen to find Mitch making pancakes for Dawson's birthday. That's pretty sweet but he probably should have called to ask/warn Gail that he was coming over first. Not cool, Mitch. You're overstepping boundaries. Mitch gives Dawson his pancakes and then asks Gail to go outside with him so that they could talk about what to get Dawson for his birthday...on his birthday. Little late there, Mitch. Shouldn't you have talked to Gail about this before Dawson's actual birthday, I mean she's probably already gone out and gotten one and she did. She got Dawson a brand new car and Mitch gets his panties in a twist because he wanted to go car shopping with Dawson so that they could get a fixer upper that they could work on together. I'd sympathise with Mitch but if he really wanted this, then why the hell didn't he talk to Gail about it sooner? The day of his birthday is not the best time to bring the subject up.

Dawson hears them arguing and is a sad panda

Meanwhile, Joey and Pacey are going over plans for a surprise party they are planning for Dawson. Pacey is apparently going to ask Dawson to go to dinner with him and Andie, which seems kind of awkward but oh well, and Joey is going to have a surprise party set up at Dawson's house. Jack walks in just then and Joey becomes visibly uncomfortable. This prompts Pacey to ask her if she's OK, because he's a caring friend. Why are all of their friend scenes together so much more genuine than either of theirs with Dawson? Answer, Dawson is shitty.

Abby bursts onto the scene with two lackeys because the show has decided that she is now a Queen Bee type instead of a loner bitch. Jack serves them and the unknown girls ask him if he's the gay guy and then proceed to gush about how cool it is that he's the only gay person in Capeside.

Jack is clearly ecstatic to hear this news

Andie is talking to her therapist about how she has always felt the need to step up and be responsible to keep her family together. The therapist then says that she's going to write her a prescription and it's honestly sad to watch Andie's face light up at this and then watch it go to a sad face when the therapist clarifies that it's not a prescription for drugs. Really sad. The therapist actually wants to prescribe her one night of imperfection, i.e. to do what she wants to do instead of what she should do.

Andie, pictured here

Joey laments to her sister about being single at Dawson's party and how even though she knows that Jack's being gay had nothing to do with her, she still feels like she wasn't desirable enough and wonders what she should do now. Bessie slaps her with some truth that I was screaming since the episode she got together with Jack:

Bessie: You paint. You concentrate on your art and yourself. I mean, you broke up with Dawson because you wanted to find yourself...and then you went straight into a relationship with Jack. Now's your chance to do what you set out to do. 

Bingo, Bessie. But before Joey can really consider what her sister just told her, Dawson comes striding in wanting to talk to her.

We then cut to Jen being all flirty with Ty still and I'll be off in the corner not caring because Ty is a douche. Why is this still a thing? I don't want to watch them be flirty. Jen starts to kiss him but Ty stops it by saying that Grams is still at home, which I guess I can get as being uncomfortable. No teen wants to suck face in front of someone's relative...well, no normal teen. But, Jen is clearly upset by this and you just know that this guy is going to get douchier.

Jen, you can do so much better than this!

So, Dawson lays it out on the line and says that he hopes that they can get back to the way things were between them. Joey, unaware of what he's talking about says she wants them to be friends again too. Dawson then spells out to her that a friendship is not enough for him and that he wants them to jump right back into a relationship. Joey obviously objects, stating that they broke up because she needed to find herself, not because she wanted to date Jack. I'd take this point a little better if she didn't jump right to Jack after dumping Dawson, so I'll give Dawson a tiny pass for his confusion and frustration on the matter of her being able to find herself while dating Jack but not Dawson. Joey says they can't talk about this and Dawson storms off, leaving Joey to be upset about having to throw a surprise party for someone who hates her right now.

Cut to later that night as Pacey is driving Andie and Dawson to where ever they are going to hang out before going to the party. Andie is fully embracing her therapist's prescription by being as annoying as humanly possible. It literally kills me to say that because I love Andie but my god, she's being infuriating screeching in the back to mimic police sirens when Pacey tells her he can't turn them on and then talking like a 40s cop ("Book 'em, Dan-o!") and cooing about being in the back seat of a police car. It's so distracting that I'm not even going to question why Pacey is being allowed to drive his brother or father's police car instead of the truck he had or the station wagon he borrowed in season 1. It doesn't seem very responsible to let your son use your work car but whatever. That is what they are doing. Andie also bellows for them to stop and turn around because she saw a place that looked "cool."

Jack enters the party and apparently his coming out has also made him change his style. No longer is he sporting a doufy do, he now has spiky hair and cooler clothes. Abby also points this out to us as she and her friends compliment him on his new look.

Jack is creeped out by Abby's attention

Jen once again kisses Ty but he again pulls away so this time, Jen wants an explanation. Ty explains that they are getting close which Jen says is the purpose of dating but then Ty says she turns him on and the closer they get, the more she turns him on. Jen is confused about how that's a bad thing, as am I. He says that he doesn't want things to get "out of hand" which Jen takes as cute but I take as the biggest flipping warning sign that this relationship is doomed.

Don't hide behind your false kisses. You're doomed!
DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

Andie reveals that she is wearing a slightly more revealing dress than she normally wears and Pacey is obviously happy about that but also maintains that her good girl image was part of her charm. Andie starts explaining that it's time for her to shed that image and let her Id out for a bit. Dawson asks her what she is talking about and she explains that her therapist told her to cut loose for one night and not worry about what everyone thinks. Dawson wants to get in on the action. Pacey leaves to go to the washroom and tells them not to get into too much trouble while he's gone. Cue them getting into trouble almost immediately by tricking the bartender into thinking they were drinking rum in their coke.

Back at the Leery household, Abby is flirting up a storm with Jack. Jack is having none of it until she starts in on her diatribe about there being no such thing as being gay. Jack, clearly still has issues with his sexuality and his curiosity gets the better of him. Abby explains further that she thinks that everyone is bisexual and naturally wants to experiment with both sexes.

But now, dear blog readers, we are in for a treat. We are back at the unnamed club that may or may not be the same one Ty hangs out at and Dawson and Andie are clearly drunk while Pacey is somehow oblivious. And then...oh god, and then someone from the club, the owner I guess, gets up on stage and announces that it's "Open Mic Night" and he asks if anyone wants to come up and sing the blues...and then this happens:

I'm embarrassed on behalf of both James and
Meredith for having to do that scene.

What the hell was that? Where do I begin? The singing was awful towards the end and more on Meredith's part, the lyrics were awful it was just awful. I know we could argue that they are drunk and that's why but no, the crowd seems to love it. They think it's legitimately good and therefore, one would have to argue that we are supposed to believe it is good too, and I'm so not buying it. Also, side-eyeing you hard, Andie that your blue because your brother is gay. Fuck. You!

Pacey tries to get them the hell out of there and to Dawson's not-surprise party since he indicated he knew about it in the song, but Dawson and Andie refuse. Pacey still hasn't clued in and takes a sip of Andie's drink before figuring out that they've been drinking. Now he really wants to get them the hell out of there but the waitress has caught on to them and demands to see IDs from them. Uhhh, a little late for that one, dumb ass. Andie also calls her out for being dumb and not IDing them five drinks ago so Pacey quickly ushers them out before cops i.e. his family get involved.

Jen and Ty are making out in Dawson's new car which is kind of creepy and not nice for Dawson but, given what Dawson is about to do, he kind of deserves it. Also this happens:

Because Titanic happened and that was a thing in the 90s

Ty pulls back and says they have to stop which causes Jen to get angry again. Ty accuses her of tempting him and Jen says that's a load of crap, which it is. Ty then launches into a spiel about being against premarital sex and nothing she says or does can convince him that it's not wrong. Jen asks who said anything about sex and Ty stupidly brings up her past. This is a running theme with her character, guys hear she's had sex so she must always want sex, and I feel really bad for her. Ty continues being a jerk off by saying that he goes to Sunday school whereas Jen, "is more like a Saturday slut" Jen finishes for him. He tries to claim that that's not what he was going to say but then Jen throws down with this:

Poor Jen. Why does this show love making her sad?

Abby continues her slow seduction of Jack by continuing with her spiel about everyone being bisexual deep down and that there is no need to choose to be either or. Jack is buying it hook, line, and sinker.

Meanwhile, Dawson crashes his own party by shouting surprise as he bursts through the door. Joey asks Pacey if they are drunk and Pacey says they are and that they got it past him. Joey tries to calm Dawson and Andie down before his parents notice. She takes him up to his room to try and sober him up a bit and they walk in on Jack and Andie making out. Dawson treats us to more blues as a result: 

Every dead blues singer ever rolls in their graves. 

Dawson goes back downstairs after he's finished butchering the blues and is grabbed by his mother who wants him to blow out his candles. He rambles about getting to make a wish and Gail immediately asks if he's been drinking.

Dawson ignores this and proceeds to make a long rambling speech about all of his friends and I know we're supposed to feel bad about what he says about Joey or that what he does to her is his lowest point, but I actually argue that he was the harshest to Pacey. I was more upset by what he said to Pacey then what he said to Joey. Here:

Dawson: I wish that my friend Pacey would just end this transformation into this A-student, do-gooder, all-around sanctimonious angel and would go back to what he does best which is make me feel good about my life because his is supposed to be worse.

Waaayyyy fucking harsh

Really, Dawson? That's what you have to say about your best friend? That you want his life to suck so that you can feel better? You are a selfish, horrible, duckweed of a friend. Now, compare that to what he said to Joey:

Dawson: And then, of course, there's my Joey. My sweet, precious Joey. The only 16-year-old in the world that needed to find herself. But you know what? That's okay. I accept it. You need to find yourself, and I accept it.

He then proceeds to pretend that he can't find her as he calls out her name, then goes back to her and says that she's found and kisses her. It's at that point that she pushes his face into his birthday cake.

I approve of his humiliation

I mean he called his mom out for cheating and both parents out for bickering while not being adults, I get him being mad about that. I get him being mad at Jack and calling him out for being in and out and stealing his girlfriend. I get that. He was harsh to Jen by saying she's a drunken girl with revolving boyfriends but then follows it up with "I want to party with you!" so that's not even that harsh but what he said to Pacey? What kind of friend says that, especially when Pacey had done nothing wrong to him to deserve that much venom. At least Joey had broken his heart which sort of explained why he would be calling her out, it doesn't justify it but still it wasn't nearly as harsh as it could have been and she gets to shove him into cake while Pacey gets nothing. Not cool.

Both Dawson and Andie are now at the sink and toilet respectively emptying their stomachs of all the alcohol they drank. They promise to never drink again and to stop the other from drinking if they ever forget what it felt like tonight. Thus ends the PSA for the episode on teen drinking.

Mitch and Gail realize how shitty they've been and patch things up. They agree that they will take back Dawson's brand new car and get him a junky one instead and force him to work to pay for some of it. They also agree to try and make decisions together and be more adult. We'll see if this lasts.

Jack catches up with Joey and tries to explain to her about what she saw. She is rightfully upset that she caught him kissing another girl, Abby none the less, after dumping her because he is gay. He tries to explain that Abby was saying things to him that made sense and made him feel "normal" for once but that he knew, the minute he started kissing her that he was gay. Joey forgives him and tells him that everyone is trying to feel normal but rarely feels like they are.

Ty tries to make amends with Jen but she, thankfully, isn't having it this time. She tells him that she really liked him and her kissing him was not a desire to immediately jump his bones but to have something pure that she hadn't felt in a long time. Ty tries to say that they could maybe work things out when he works through his baggage but Jen shuts him down:

You tell him, Jen!

Joey walks into Dawson's room to see if he's OK. Dawson immediately apologises for whatever he said and Joey says she forgives him, just like that. What kind of irks me though, is that she says this:

Joey: Don't worry about it, Dawson. I forgive you. I mean, even you are allowed to make a few mistakes in this world and I'm sure that everyone else will forgive you eventually, too. You pretty much told the truth anyway.

Emphasis, mine. Pacey needs new friends. How was what Dawson said to him the truth? Do they both enjoy that he's a failure because it makes them feel better? Is that really all they want for their supposed friend? Dawson and Joey are a couple of ass hats.

Anyway, Dawson says that he's OK with her finding herself but asks her to do it fast because of how much he loves her and then passes out. Then Joey admits to loving him to and a bunch of teen girls squee even though they are two of the shittiest people on Earth who get their joy from their friend being a fuck up because he makes them look better without them having to try so hard. Sorry, that just really pisses me off.

That was Be Careful What You Wish For, where we are supposed to be enthralled with Dawson and Joey admitting their love for each other but I can't get over the fact that Dawson never fucking apologises to the one person he was harshest to this episode, Pacey. I am not a fan of this episode and I don't feel bad for Dawson at all.

Next episode recap is Psychic Friends which I haven't re-watched yet and I actually do not remember what it's about. I hope that Dawson apologises to Pacey but the show will probably pretend that what Dawson said about him never happened and therefore will ignore it. Joy.